What if programming languages were methods to eat an orange? (archive.rebeccablacktech.com)

c: You have exactly enough room in your stomach for an orange, but you forgot to account for the peel, so the contents of your stomach overflow onto the plate.

c++: You struggle with your Generic Eating major in college, and when you fail you have no idea what went wrong or how to fix it, but once you graduate the actual orange eating is nearly instantaneous.

haskell: Step 1: The motions for eating an orange exist. Step 1: An orange is on your plate. Step 1: An orange has always been in your stomach.