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My money's on the squirrel.
Yeah, squirrel obviously has a time advantage, is at least motivated by its appetite...and its offspring either don't eat saw blades or out-reproduce losses.
I remember reading a battle story where a guy rigged a water gun and a detector to shoot at squirrels to dissuade them from the feeder. Apparently the squirrels enjoyed the water until it ran out and then they had lunch.
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"Militarizing Your Backyard With Python" - Perhaps the best presentation to a programming language conference in history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPgqfnKG_T4

A python of the reptile variety might do a better job on the squirrels.
True, but lacks the geek cred.
"Do you know what looks like confetti and candy to small children? Screws. Know what else they really love? Saw blades. There would be no way I could both build a feeder that deterred squirrels and keep my children out of the ER."

Have we become so overprotective of children that we can't even have sharp objects in the house with them?

I would imagine that a child young enough to try and eat screws would be defeated by putting a lock on a door.
It's more about breathing in screws and especially the nuts, which is unfortunately very common with kids and small objects.

In my city the ER departments in the hospitals regularly deal with kids having their airways blocked e.g. due to small Lego pieces. I nearly got myself killed at the age of three or something like this by inhaling a small stone...

I came pretty close to choking (whilst home alone) as a young kid when I thought it'd be a great idea to try to swallow a peach pip.

I like to think I'm not that dumb now, but as a kid I did some really idiotic things that seriously jeopardized my safety. I'm willing to believe I'm not alone there.

Again, this seems to be a problem that could be solved by locking up your project when you're done working with it.
Do you have kids? It is hard to explain exactly how it works but you have one or two, and they are so precious, that your imagination of the bad thing that could happen, and even worse how you would feel knowing that you enabled it, and it can be paralyzing. One of the things I was determined to do early one was teach my kids rational caution. It is hard, it requires enduring both the occasional injury and the scorn of your friends and neighbors, but for me it paid off with very capable daughters who can take on new tasks, asses the risks, and take appropriate measures to both mitigate the risk and prepare for the result in the event the mitigation was insufficient.
well... i can say this much, in the battle of wits between squirrels and my dog, the squirrels always win.

i don't think any dog ever has caught a squirrel without the help of a human and a shotgun.

Shotgun is overkill. A .177 air gun is more than sufficient. And effective.
Do you eat them?

According to Uncle Eddy from Christmas Vacation, they're high in cholesterol.

It's not generally considered a good idea to eat urban/suburban rodents. Their diet/lifestyle includes a lot of things that can potentially be passed along (stuff sprayed with pesticides & herbicides, exposure to interesting pathogens, etc).

That said, I have eaten them. Not bad, like rabbit I suppose, but not something I ever think "you know, I gotta get me some squirrel for dinner tonight". Not sure about cholesterol; did Eddie drop that wisdom before or after they replaced his metal plate in his skull with a plastic one?

Easy battle to win - http://shop.wbu.com/p/wbu-fundamentals-squirrel-proof-bird-f...

I have been using this feeder for something like 7 years and barring really weird circumstances, it is 99% effective. And no they cannot chew through it.

Combine this with a baffle - http://shop.wbu.com/p/wbu-aps-squirrel-baffle and you will be as close to 100% effective as possible. Barring squirrels suicide leaping from trees, which I would not put past them.

I've seen some do suicide jumps not from trees but from a deck attached to the house. A good 25 feet up and they'll land on the ground with a small thud and limp off. They'll usually be back the next day to try again and get a little closer. Never understood why they KEPT trying to get to the feeder after that first jump and likely injury.
I was feeding some squirrels with my GF and this guy comes up and tells us that squirrels are ruining his trees in his yard and how he's been using his dog to kill them.

I just looked at him funny and told him about the invasive bugs in the area that've been ravaging the trees and how he's managed to make his own situation worse by getting rid of the very animals that eat insects like that.

He just walked away stuped in cognitive dissonance.

That said, I do enjoy watching videos people put up that show squirrels trying to get into bird feeders and getting flung off and stuff. It's interesting and funny watching squirrels trying to defeat these things.

Awesome. So the writer writes about how he might not have a story because a cat moves in next door. Problem solved by kids chasing it away. But, uh oh, no story because Fall occurs and acorns are on the ground. But that's no problem because he already has 700 words.