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Ask HN: Ideas and the ability, but burned out working alone

18 points by SoftwareMaven ↗ HN
So I've a few ideas for "lifestyle" businesses that could potentially grow into something more. They are eminently bootstrapable, but I'm tired of working on things alone. I start making progress, then fizzle.

And, while I'm strong at tech, capable at business, and able to network for business reasons, I suck at making the kinds of connections that could turn into cofounders.

I put it in a similar bucket to being able to make friends, something else I'm not particularly good at. Anybody have any clues for overcoming what goes well beyond normal introversion?

16 comments

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goldfeld
As I understand, this is not the kind of advice you're looking for, but: have you seen https://assembly.com/discover? It has a very interesting model that I think has legs going forward.
jqm
Not trying to be negative, but I can't help but point this out.... it seems there are some really really bad ideas on that site that wouldn't be worth the effort (probably some good ones as well to be fair).
DaFranker
Counterbalancing point: It doesn't seem to me as if the ratio of good / average / bad ideas on the website is significantly different than on other platforms / offline / "elsewhere".
noodle
What exactly are you looking for? Another technical cofounder? A business person? Etc.. Finding different types of people require different approaches because the market isn't even.
TezzellEnt
To expand on the above: What position/responsibilities do you need to have that person manage, and what are you offering to that person?

There's things like http://sideprojectors.com where you can showcase your project and find a cofounder on, or you can try to go on sites like FounderDating.com|founder2be.com|builditwith.me|etc, or head out and work on your projects at MeetUp groups in your area. There are several options, however I don't know the best way that works for you.

SoftwareMaven
This is the question that almost caused me not to post because I'm not sure how to answer it. There are people out there who manage to draw people to them, no matter what the circumstance. I am not one of those people, and it is affecting my ability to get things done (part of it is being overwhelmed by needing to make a project interesting enough to capture customer attention; part of it is a sense of loneliness when things inevitably get challenging).

What I can't seem to do is connect with people at the level that brings about trust that something can be accomplished. I attend start-up events and am held back by my own...I don't know...fear of rejection, lack of belief in myself, leftover trauma from being the fat kid in elementary school? It's hard to psychoanalyze myself.

I knew it was a ghost of a chance because I don't even know what I'm really getting at, beyond what does it take for you to feel confident somebody is, well, competent and his/her idea is worth listening to.

Honestly, I feel like I'm missing something in this interaction because I have technical skill (15+ years), I have business skill (5+ years), I have management skill (5+ years), and I have product management skill (3+ years). I know how to get shit built, but I can't figure out how to get people interested in building it, much less on board.

quesera
Most people are not "connectors", and even people who are at fairly good at it often struggle with leadership.

This isn't criticism -- most people aren't builders either.

So I guess the question I'm left with is: do you want advice on how to get better at attention-drawing and leadership, or are you looking for another human to supplement your skills?

Either path is valid, it just depends on how you want to expend your energies, and what sorts of practicalities require consideration.

SoftwareMaven
I would say the latter. As I mentioned, I can make software products successful. Perhaps my weakness is making software companies successful.
QuantumChaos
I found myself in a very similar situation. My solution was to get a job at a large company. It didn't help much with the making friends part, but I am happy now that I don't work alone. I would consider whether a startup is right for you at this time.
SoftwareMaven
You have a valid point. The challenge for me is these ideas don't go away; instead, they sit in the background incessantly calling to me, making me feel like I'm missing something important. I took a position with a big company that I hoped would give me stability and flexibility to work on my own projects, and it does, but I'm failing to do so.
brickcap
>I'm tired of working on things alone. I start making progress, then fizzle.

Could your burn out be related to lack of progress on personal/professional projects? For myself at least on days when I am not moving forward on a personal/professional level I can get a bit down. So the cure that works for me is to gain a net +ve movement everyday.

For work projects that could mean writing code for a new feature/fixing that inconsistent left margin or devouring my blog posts for any typos. Small victories in professional projects can can give me a boost in my personal life

On a more personal level this means reading another chapter of say "Mike" which drives the story forward. For a while I weaned off reading and the books that I was reading on at that time were left unfinished which affected my work as well as it left me dissatisfied with the current state of my affairs. Anyway, what I am trying to say here is that making progress on a personal level is just as important as making progress on a work level. Small victories in one can give you a much needed boost in another.

also check out this post : http://thefreelancery.com/monday-answers-1-hustling-burnout-...

jqm
I was in a very similar situation...

So I went and got a job. A few months in and I'm ready to get back to work by myself. But I think I'll stay put for a bit. It's nice having other people around during the day and I think I'm actually getting more done nights/weekends on (now) side projects than I was the last few months on my own. I'm certainly managing my time better.

I defiantly feel your angst though. I have been there and it was not fun and was killing my productivity.

SoftwareMaven
In reality, my day job may be a contributing factor. I work on a small team spread around the globe. It's an amazing team, but it doesn't fulfill that team connection. I have contemplated another job, but there are some serious benefits that I like about this one, not least of which is working at home.

(And, yes, there is a small dichotomy there, but I don't need in-person contact to have a connected relationship.)

goldfeld
Well, couldn't you probably justify working out of a coworking place at least once a week? I reckon it would be even better if someone from your global team actually lived near you and you could be in the coworking space together, as two people talking among themselves always draw more attention than one.
FiatLuxDave
I find the kind of people/relationships which turn into cofounders to be fairly rare. It requires mutual trust and respect, as well as passion for a shared goal. I've only met 6 in the last 22 years, so I'm no expert on how to meet one, but what has worked for me are two things: exposure (that is, spending time with people, preferably doing something that might garner respect and trust) and sharing your passions (talk about your ideas, and see who thinks they are cool).

If you are introverted, getting exposure might be difficult. Make sure you spend time around or working with people who might make good cofounders. Doing similar work to what your ideas are raises the level of technical trust (e.g. if your ideas involve web programming, work together to show each other that you can do that well), and if you are a trustworthy person, given enough time that will show through as well. Some kind of 'forced' social interaction (such as school, day job, roommate, family) is helpful if you are very introverted.

Sharing passionate ideas usually isn't a problem, at least for me. It's getting me to shut up about them ;). This annoys many people, but it makes it very easy to pick out the few people who are interested in them too.

I think that if you are feeling that working alone is non-optimal, you are probably right. I know I am much more productive as part of a team. The hard part is that you really do need to be picky about who is on your team if it's a real project. On the other hand, if you have a few 'what if' ideas you are willing to throw away if it doesn't work out, you can take a few risks with possible cofounders to see if there is chemistry there.

MalcolmDiggs
Would the idea you're working on make a good open source project (without destroying the business model)? If so, throwing up the code and asking for contributors might be an easy (arm's length) way to get other people involved and keep yourself motivated.