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Ask HN: Can you code friendship?

4 points by barce ↗ HN
I know this is a philosophical can of worms, but if you can describe X, does it follow that you can code X? Let's replace X with friendship. Are there any books that tackle this question? I guess I've been feeling lonely.

7 comments

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rdegges
Being a friend is pretty simple:

- Talk to people you like.

- Call them, message them, and get them to do stuff with you.

- Repeat.

But in all seriousness, being a good friend and making friends is easy! Just be willing to put yourself out there and initiate!

When I was younger, I never really understood how this stuff worked: I would isolate myself from everyone, and somehow feel 'lonely'.

Over the past 5 or 6 years I realized that if you want a real connection with someone, just go for it! Be friendly! Say hi! Invite people out to do stuff with you (go to a meetup, grab coffee, tag along on a trip -- whatever).

It's a little scary at first (everything is), but it's honestly great!

I'm not sure if you're in the bay area at all, but if you are, and want a friend, feel free to hit me up. I'm a nice guy and would be happy to hang out -- can never have enough friends =)

I'm r@rdegges.com on google chat and my phone number is 818-217-9229.

-Randall

barce
Hi, thanks for reaching out. Would you be a friend and help me out with my initial question: If you can describe X, does that mean you can code X? :)
rdegges
Hah, no idea :(

I would assume so. ^^

MichaelCrawford
If this has been a persistent problem, I suggest group therapy.

I am absolutely serious. I spent years in group therapy, it did me a world of good.

Before I started therapy I came very close to leaping off the top of a six-storey building. Now I'm quite happy, and have lots of friends.

barce
Hi, don't worry, I'm not going to jump off the bridge. I just want to know the theoretical limits of coding friendship. Despite all this "social" technology, more people claim they are more lonely than ever. This looks like a market opportunity. Once again: Can friendship be coded?
MichaelCrawford
Among the reasons I ride the bus and light rail, is that doing so gives me the opportunity to meet new people.

That mostly works, but quite commonly, other commuters are staring at their mobile devices, or listening to them. The only new friends I meet, are people who choose not to befriend their gadgets.

My Mom likes her email, but back in the day she used to talk to people on the phone.

There's a lot more to human companionship than what the words in text say. Body language, for example. You don't get any of that from an email.

cafard
One can identify groups of persons more likely to befriend one another if one can identify shared interests, so to that extent Yes. But those persons must come in contact with one another, and of course not all of them will get along. There exist a lot of mechanisms for bringing together persons of shared interests: churches, schools, sports, concerts, bars, museums, for that matter workplaces.