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Ask HN: How to get rid of speech anxiety?

4 points by chckn ↗ HN
I fear situation where I have to speak in front of larger groups of people (5+). The fear/panic is so strong that I can not think straight in such situations.

It hinders my personal and professional development. Right now I can not give a toast or take a position as a lead developer.

It is said that speech anxiety is quite common so my hope is to get some tipps on how to get rid of it.

What is the best therapy? What can I do besides therapy? Are there books worth reading?

15 comments

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onion2k
For me, there weren't magic solutions. The only thing that worked was to practise with small groups and work up to bigger groups.
chckn
I dread practice but I know it is key.

What kind of groups did you practice with?

onion2k
Technical meet ups, specifically Javascript. A technical crowd doesn't tend to be nasty if you're as rubbish as I was.
sondring
Same for me, though I bet joining toastmasters would have helped. I started small and worked up from there. A few tips are to really know back and forth the material you are covering. Another is to mask nerves with enthusiasm. A few years ago my boss made me give a 45 minute long presentation to a team of ~ 10 engineers. I was freaked out, but it ended up going well. I had a slide deck that I rehearsed with my manager and went over may times. I also included several jokes in it. Since then I've been able to lead weekly meetings with the same number of people. I even gave an all hands presentation to ~35 people. Good luck.
aerialcombat
For me, I had trouble when I thought those on the otherside were there to judge me and my performance as a speaker. But when I realised they are just there to listen and that it's ok if I F up, things got easier. It might help if you start with a smile and look through the eyes of each and every individual and see that they are smiling back at you. And also it's just like speaking in one-on-one situation.
chckn
I'm pretty sure it is fear of being judged. I try to convince myself that most people are open and positive towards me. If you would ask me I'd tell you that most people are even sympathetic towards me in case I panic, stutter, or somehow f'up a presentation. But as soon as I'm in such a situation rationality is gone.
walterbell
Find a couple of friends to be a sympathetic audience, then give your 90-second speech as a description of the emotions and reactions that are running through your head. Describe them in real time, use the emotions as fuel instead of reasoning with them.

From "Impro", http://www.amazon.com/Impro-Improvisation-Theatre-Keith-John...

"... Once you learn to accept offers, then accidents can no longer interrupt the action. When someone's chair collapsed, Stanislavsky berated him for not continuing, for not apologising to the character whose house he was in. This attitude makes for something really amazing in the theatre. The actor who will accept anything that happens seems supernatural; it's the most marvellous thing about improvisation: you are suddently in contact with people who are unbounded, whose imagination seems to function without limit."

chckn
That quote resonates with me. Besides fear of judgment another part of my problem is acceptance I believe.
walterbell
If you or your employer can afford the 12-week (one 3-hr class per week) Dale Carnegie course, it can likely solve your problem. There are courses in most major cities globally. Proven over decades.

You could also see a speech therapist to assess specific areas that need improvement.

The most valuable advice I received on reducing anxiety was to practice speaking on a topic in which you are the expert. There is one guaranteed topic in which you are the expert: your own life. Tell a 90-second story about a life experience that is meaningful to you. Audiences care about stories, not speaking. If you care about your material, they will care about what you say.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/04/19/publ...

LarryMade2
Look in your community for a Toastmasters organization - their goal is to help with public speaking. They work on various activities to get you familiar with speaking in front of people, speeches on the fly, etc.
debacle
You need to just do it. Start going to local industry groups and presenting. Once you've done it half a dozen times, it will feel completely natural.
itzfx
The way I got over this kind of anxiety was to lead a study group in college. The people in the study group were already friends so it wasn't as stressing, but during the study group sessions, I made it my responsibility to lead the group. At first it was... unnerving, but definitely not as bad as it was with people I didn't know as well.

So maybe you should start with some friends that you're more comfortable with (not professional acquaintances) but in a different context than just hanging out?