Ask HN: Prion Disease Fear?
Basically, for the past 4 months, I've been terrified of getting a prion disease. Too many things about them seem so brutal. How they start off as psychiatric problems, how they only affect the brain, how the death is fairly long, and how they are immune to conventional steralization all terrify me.
But there's one thing that truly stands out in fear: insomnia. Prion diseases many times cause an actual physical inability to sleep, and this drives me up the wall. How can I fall asleep, knowing that I may not due to these (1 in a million rare) brain diseases?
So far, I don't know of any other kind disease that does this, so it's fairly unique to them. I've been seeing a psychotherapist, but I still have this underlying fear. I'm thinking of killing myself, since that's looks like the only way I can rest assured that I'll die a comparatively peaceful death.
Why shouldn't I fear them? Do they scare you? Also, would a death by sleep deprivation not even be as bad as I'd imagine/is the disease not that painful for the sufferer?
7 comments
[ 2.5 ms ] story [ 33.6 ms ] threadThat being said there are plenty of horrible ways to die in life. I wouldn't even care to venture a guess in how many horrible ways there are to go. The fact of the matter is, the odds are ridiculous at best that you will dye in a horrible way. The average person is going to meet their maker from a much less crazy event - car crash, heart disease, cancer. Do you know anyone in your family or friends that died from the disease you fear? I bet not. How did they die? Much more common ways. However, seeing as how you already posted the odds I know you know this.
The fact of the matter is that you're thinking irrationally. Hopefully the fact that you are likely intelligent and that you already know the odds are ridiculous at best that you would get a disease like this, yet you are still worrying about it tells you that you are thinking irrationally.
I think by realizing this you'll be one step up in the game. I think the real crux of your problem is to somehow stop thinking irrationally. Unfortunately this is where my advice ends because I am nothing but a logical thinker. I think about death occasionally but only worry that I will die before I've done enough good in the world.
I think you are doing a good thing by seeking counseling and I think your main goal should be on trying to stop thinking irrationally. Hopefully some of what i said calms you down at least a bit.
One last note - suicide will not only end your life but crush anyone else's life that you are a part of. It is a weak, selfish thing to do. I am a firm believer that people are put here to do good things in the world and if you drop yourself from the equation you're hurting the odds of getting a higher percentage of do-gooders out there. If you care even slightly about your family or friends you will set aside suicide as a possible option and start looking at changing things for yourself.
Also, you may want to remove that from your post as you're likely going to make people think you're just trolling for emotional responses. Since I feel like you may be trolling this will be my only post.
If you aren't trolling I sincerely wish you good luck with your burden and offer you my thoughts from a rational standpoint - I think you can beat what you're dealing with if you stick with it.
I guess I shouldn't be asking the Internet, but I've exhausted a lot of my real life resources, and sometimes it seems like everytime I make progress I end up taking several steps backwards; I figured it was as good as anything at this point, really.
Unfortunately as others have stated the majority of hackers are going to know logical responses. Since yours is that of irrational fear, it becomes difficult for anyone but a trained professional to help you.
Unfortunately I don't think this is an avenue except for people that wish it to be, but have you considered reading scripture? Sounds a little crazy but having faith can really change your perception on things. I don't think it's necessary to have a positive outlook on life, but it might help you to gain one. If faith means anything to you the story of job comes to mind.
Some people have a knee-jerk reaction to the suggestion of religion so if I've offended you in any way I apologize. I hope you do focus on your counseling and make an effort to focus on friendship or perhaps pursue finding people like you. It may help an order of magnitude just to be able to converse people battling issues similar to yours. I'm not sure how much this forum is frequented but I bet if you dug hard enough you could find something similar to this that may help: http://www.phobias-help.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=21
The rest of us can't help very much. This is the Internet. It's really good for reciting facts, but the facts of the matter have little or nothing to do with your fear. Fear isn't a thing you can necessarily explain away, as you probably know better than anyone. For example, you already know, consciously, that diseases like CJD are incredibly rare, which is to say: You do not have classic CJD, and you're not going to get it. [1] And yet here you are.
You need to learn, with the help of coaches, how to recognize your fear and adopt practical strategies for dealing with it when it arises. You might also derive great benefit from certain medications. If your fear is endangering your happiness or your life it is a serious problem, but it is a problem for a psychiatrist or a psychologist, not for hackers on a message board.
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[1] Yeah, I could be wrong. But it is more likely that I will die in an auto accident within the next week than that I am wrong. [2]
[2] 1.2 fatalities per 100 million vehicle miles traveled (http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/811207.PDF), assume 300 miles traveled per week => my chance of death each week is 3.2 in 1 million. According to the CDC "The risk of CJD increases with age, and in persons aged over 50 years of age, the annual rate is approximately 3.4 cases per million." (http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/cjd/index.htm)
Make sure you talk to your psychotherapist and trusted friends/family about the level of distress this is causing you. They can help restore rational balance to your thought, and may help you recognize other contributing causes for your fearful mood -- other emotional stresses, substance/medication issues, etc. -- that you can address one by one.
We all get terrified of things we can't control, which is why more people are afraid of flying, even though far more people die in traffic accidents every year. When you're driving, you feel in control, versus when you're a passenger in an airplane, you have zero control over anything. That imbalance leads to why there are classes and shrinks to help get over the fear of flying, but there aren't any folks with fear of driving.
The vast majority of prion diseases come from our industrial agriculture. So if you're afraid, then you really need to avoid beef. The USDA only permits BSE testing on visibly symptomatic animals, and has banned 100% testing which many countries are only willing to accept. It takes 4-5 years for an infected animal to get the visible symptoms, and most cattle are slaughtered before they hit 2 years old. And the bush administration reduced the number of BSE inspectors by 90%. And you probably should avoid hunting as deer and elk can get a related illness called chronic wasting disease.
Finally, there were some genetic studies and it appears that if you have 2 copies of some gene, then you're suceptible to getting vCJD if exposed to the prions (and if you're going to get it, you'll get symptoms in 2-3 years after exposure). If you have 1 copy of the gene, if exposed to the prions, and if you're going to get it, then you'd get symptoms in 15-30 years. The folks doing the research weren't sure, but if you had 0 copies of the gene, then thought you probably couldn't get infected.