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What especially drives me crazy is when I put on LinkedIn that I work for a vendor (full time, mind you), I end up getting recruiter spam advertising a three-month contract job thousands of miles from where I live, for the same money that I'm making now (but no benefits and no vacation time).

Do they really expect to pull me away from a full-time position at the software vendor by tempting me with a short-term contract merely using the software that I'm developing now?

They're working like spammers. If only one tenth of one percent respond they fill the position and that is all they care about.
I don't think they expect anything in particular. It's just a sad fact that the transaction is asymmetric. It may take you a while to read, but it costs them very little to send you spam, and there is apparently a non-zero conversion rate.

I guess from their point of view, they have no idea of your current position, whether you are going through a break-up and want to move cities, whether you hate your boss, or whether you're just bored. They are simply putting out offers and playing the percentage game.

Only high-value people get sweet talked and seduced by recruiters, like when a company wants to steal a high-ranking, popular employee away from another company. Every run-of-the-mill PHP developer receives spam like this.
I programmed my gmail to auto-archive the worst offenders. What's the problem?
The problem is it's unsolicited and there's no way to unsubscribe.
Just set up an filter and autoresponder to catch these emails and autorespond with an affiliate link to Amazon, with the text "Click here to see my resume".
Here's my rant

Recruiters, (some) are bad, companies recruiting are 10x worse

The recruiter usually wants to solve a problem. Their tendency is to push for an agreement

Companies, a lot of them nowadays, seems to make a Hunger Games out of their recruiting process, they'd rather pick CVs optimistically and then sharply cut than take a more efficient approach (especially one that's not as taxing and alienating on the candidate)

Is this worse or better than "my ceo saw your profile" or we have kegerators, nerf guns and an xbox!
It's on a different axis, personally.

I currently work for a startup whereby they tried to indoctrinate us into a startup culture. Ping pong tables, stand up desks, open work spaces, and beer. So much beer.

As a general rule, I don't ever drink alcohol. (More specifically, I only drink alcohol when I'm at home, where driving a car is unlikely to ever be involved, and with good company.)

That caused some friction.

Don't forget ball pit.
Over AGE 50; you think you have it tough? 1.) The system is bolixed aka broken as a matching system. Even the romance matching sites seem to do better.

2.) Solve the problem. Start a startup. Non-profit independent matching. One key problem is I have an Excellent resume BUT ONLY ONE VERSION and like the attractive feamale ....

3.) here is the analogy. It is ONLY an analogy. very attractive female attracts TOO MUCH ATTENTION for the WRONG KIND OF PURSUIT vs. super programmer Female attracts too LITTLE attention for the RIGHT KIND OF PURSUIT.

4.) Simple proof. IT RECRUITER is looking for six years experience in new language - yet the language was invented four years ago.

5.) Simple proof. economics. THIS ANALOGY is from book Flash Boys on HFTN - Wall Street High Frequency Trading Networks. IT COSTS NOTHING for the machine algorithms run from RUSSIA, oops... or other areas to insert 'offers' to test the market. THE cost, which the industry, government, stakeholders, agents, FILL IN THE BLANK is BORN BY YOU on the bottom. In the stock market, it is the long term small investor, supposedly the backbone of the USA economy.

10.) In network engineering terms, ANALOGY this is called legalized DOS Denial of Service. Think of it as posting your name and FREE BICYCLE - just don't want it on CRAIGSLIST. You must call within one week for the sweepstakes for I AM NOW A MILLIONAIRE. Highly effective Denial of Service email bomb that takes out your mailbox.

12.) It is now time for the IT recruiters to talk and say HABITS of APPLICANTS that cause severe misery. This will allow the cycle of misery to continue to flow in the infinite loop

I am not sure what I just read...
The post is only about 0.3 Timecubes of crazy, but far higher than I normally see on HN.
"This will allow the cycle of misery to continue to flow in the infinite loop"

I need to remember this so I can add it as a comment in future code that I hate.