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Ask HN: Separating searching for problems from work and life

5 points by NovaS1X ↗ HN
I recently got out of the hospital with myocarditis and pericarditis. I originally thought I was having a heart-attack but being a healthy 25y/o man that was ruled out pretty fast. After a few days in the hospital they had absolutely no conclusive cause for my condition. I've been suffering a major amount of stress lately which lead to this condition. They gave me a paper on stress cardiomyopathy and it makes complete sense to me as two weeks earlier I was having panic episodes due to stress and I knew that I would give myself heart problems if I continued. Freaky stuff how powerful the mind is.

Regardless, I'm sure I don't need to say but I've been doing a lot of thinking. It all boils down to some core problems. Negative thinking: focusing on bad things that could happen, lack of confidence, trust issues with people.

However I've now realized something: part of this way of thinking is fundamental to how I work. The most crucial part of my job as a SysAdmin/Engineer is finding problems and solving them and finding ways to improve existing systems. It's completely in my nature to find problems and then solve them (I'm self taught). However I think lately I've been focusing on so many problems that it's gone out of control. I realize this now as I analyze photos on Flickr (photography is a hobby of mine). I look for the problems in the photo, look for room for improvement, then leave without gratification on to the next one. Seeing this pattern outside of work has triggered a red-flag.

What I'm asking is how do more experienced and like-minded people handle this? How is it possible to separate looking for problems in work and life? How is it possible to find positivity in problems? How is it possible to take it easy when you're constantly looking for efficiencies because it simply isn't good enough?

Please share your stories and perspectives on this. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's encountered this problem.

5 comments

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MichaelCrawford
I recently dialed 9-1-1 due to shortness of breath. Eventually it subsided. My pulse, blood pressure and EKG were all completely normal. The emergency room doctor diagnosed it as anxiety, which I do get sometimes however at the time I wasn't actually anxious about anything. I was otherwise having a pretty good day.

"Looking for problems" is something I myself do quite a lot. It's hard ever to be satisfied with anything.

Though I work as a coder, my degree is in physics. I was puzzled at first at some of the research that physicists actually do, such as Caltech's numerical simulation of sand dunes based on the computational physics of sand particles.

Eventually I realized that most physicists go around looking for any kind of problem at all that they think they can solve. Most such problems, while perhaps interesting intellectually, aren't of much use however sometimes useful stuff falls out of them. Consider that the laser was at first regarded as "a solution looking for a problem".

As to how to answer your question: I don't know but I could use that answer myself.

nostrademons
Therapy can help a lot with this. The point of therapy is that instead of letting problems get trapped in your mind and ruminating over them, you talk them over with a trained listener and work out how to deal with them. Or you accept them.

A long-term solution for people that are in creative or stressful jobs often involves some degree of compartmentalization. You may recognize that a problem may require your full attention and take over your life for a week or two - but then when the problem is solved, force yourself to take a step back, breathe, attend to the other areas of your life that need attention, and celebrate your victory. Your work may be stressful, but your life need not be. And then once you've had a time to savor and reflect on the last problem, you can pick out a new one.

Oftentimes, you end up more effective at work when you do this. The tendency when you get stuck in the "See a problem, fix a problem, repeat" loop is that you end up taking on very similar problems, ones that you can already see a solution to when they're presented to you. As a result, you get that rush of accomplishment each time, but you don't grow as a person or step outside your comfort zone by facing new challenges.

akg_67
"Worry about things you can control and don't worry about things you can't do anything about."

"Everything has imperfections and always will have some. You can't remove all imperfections, focus on the ones that come in the way of enjoyment/utility and can be fixed."

"80% is good enough."

These are the mottos I live by now. My life couldn't be more simpler and stress free and worry free.

I am an ex-Systems Engineer and went through "life-changing" medical episode a few years ago. I used to be like you in both work and life, always looking for the problems to solve, improving systems, and in general being hyper and perfectionist and always stressed because of these. Everything changed during the medical recovery. It made me realize my own mortality and how fragile life can be. And, instead of fixing things, I need to focus more on enjoying things as they are.

NovaS1X
Thanks for this. I'm on this path right now but with only a week out of the hospital it's still pretty fresh. I fully understand that feeling of mortality though. I think letting go of the things I can't control is one thing I need to work on. I need to let go.

And thanks to the other two posters as well. Any perspective is welcome right now.

victorstanciu
I used to be very worry-prone too in the past. Stoicism (the philosophy) changed my life. This book provided a very clear introduction, and I make it a habit to reread it every year: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-the-g...

I also recommend giving Buddhist mindfulness a try (this book is great: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64369.Mindfulness_in_Pla...), but in the end Stoicism seems to be more suited to the pragmatic, analytical mind of a programmer, because it provides a very logical approach, as opposed to the more spiritual nature of Buddhism.

I seriously cannot overemphasize the improvement Stoicism has brought to my life. I went from having a lot of the experiences you are having (without the physical problems though) to living an almost completely worry-free life.