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Ask HN: Starting a company while raising a family?

11 points by tixocloud ↗ HN
Hi,

Raising a family while trying to build a business is a tall order given the amount of work and responsibility on both sides of the equation. I'm just curious how many folks on HN are in the same boat? Would love to connect and get a community going.

Cheers!

13 comments

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mgrassotti
Same boat here. For sure it's not easy.
andersthue
Did not start a company while starting a family but I did restart my business.

When I got my (now 7 year old) daughter, I realised that what I was doing was not right for me, I sold the company for "nothing" and rebuild a consultancy, I had the good luck of earning enough to get by from day one from some old clients.

Squidthistle
I can definitely relate.

Currently working a full-time job and raising a family while toying with some business ideas. It frequently ends up being a decision of "Do I want a little free-time today or should I work on projects?"

tixocloud
How do you manage to balance all 3 of those activities? My business is still not sustainable so I'm still on a full-time job myself. It's been tough really.
partisan
Currently in the same situation. I have two toddlers (< 3yrs old) and started a business with a partner this year. It has been grueling at times, but I have managed to find a tenuous balance by carving out time for myself, time with my kids, and time with my wife.

My only lament is that I no longer have a functional social life. I am hoping to meet other parents to make new friends since my childless friends simply can't relate.

tixocloud
Would you have any advice on making sure there's enough time for yourself, your business, your kids and your wife?

I've also got the added challenge of time with parents. And I agree - friends who don't have kids just don't fully understand.

partisan
I think that codegeek's response pretty much sums it up. I wake up and help in the morning. I work during the day. I spend time with the kids when I get home. I spend time with my wife after the kids are asleep. I also have the grandparents babysitting on some weekends to give us some alone time.
kek918
I'm also in the same boat as yourself. I live with my girlfriend and our 3 yr old kid, but currently only I have income from my full time job as ICT operator.

I recently got hired for another job through my own company so I work there 1 night each week. I'd like to quit my full time job and try to get more freelance jobs, but because of our kid and poor finance situation I feel I can't do such a risky move yet. Luckily my gf supports me and is very positive to me starting for myself once she finishes the education and gets a job.

And as others has mentioned, on many nights after the kid is asleep, I also end up in the decision of "Free-time vs work on project". Many nights I feel exhausted and just want to relax, but then I get upset with myself for not working with the projects which I should finish already! Hehe

I like reading about other people in the same boat so please keep us updated if such a community arises.

tixocloud
Sounds great. I'll definitely keep you guys updated once I figured out the logistics of setting such a community up.
hibala
My thought is, first sit with your family, explain them what you are going to do and how things will be go in the long run. Only when they understand and with their support you will be able to fully focus on your company and it's growth.
codegeek
I have 2 toddlers (both under 2.5 years old) while I am working on my bootstrapped business. It is tough. Really tough. But this is when effective time management is the key.

On a regular day, here is my schedule:

- Wake up whenever kids wake up (usually 6AM-7AM)

- Help with their breakfast, getting ready for daycare along with my wife.

- Wife leaves with kids at 8 AM sharp and goes to work while dropping them off.

- This is my best window to work like crazy. 8AM-5PM nonstop without interruptions (unless one of the kids stay home sick)

- 5 PM: stop work no matter what. Go pick up kids from daycare. Between then and 8PM, have dinner, play with kids and spend time with family. No work. Put kids to bed by 8 PM

- 8-9 PM: Relax, watch some TV, cool off.

- 9PM-1AM: Work on business again.

This is on a good day. On bad days like when kid is sick, it can throw off any plans/schedule.

Weekends are difficult as kids are home. So when they nap for a couple of hours, I can get some work done otherwise wife is on my case to ensure that I am helping as 2 toddlers are a handful.

dpeck
You can't do it and be stable. That isn't to say you can't do it for short times. I only started a small software consultancy while having a day job along with a wife and toddler and it was a grueling marathon. Sleep took a backseat and anything not related to work or family was pretty much off the table. You always feel like you're not putting enough time in somewhere.