HN Explorer

Ask HN: Is Revenge worth it?

1 points by anon3_ ↗ HN
Have you ever been wronged in a relationship, job, etc. in a very unfair way that made you feel powerless? Did the system fail you?

What happened to you? Did you seek revenge?

I'm not really interested in a philosophical debate, more real life stories.

7 comments

[ 2.3 ms ] story [ 38.3 ms ] thread
andymurd
No, it's not worth it. Turn your back and walk away.

I'm old enough that I've been crapped upon a few times by employers, governments, the law etc. It hurts and makes you angry but you never really feel like you "win" if you get revenge.

anon3_
Can you elaborate?
andymurd
No, I really have moved on and don't want to go over those things again.

If it helps, I am in a significantly better situation than those who sought to gain at my expense. Exacting revenge on others only slowed _my_ progress through life.

anon3_
> I am in a significantly better situation than those who sought to gain at my expense.

That feels therapeutic enough and I can relate.

noir-york
You can either look at the past. Or spend your finite time and energy on working towards your (personal) goal.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Nothing annoys the fk out of people then succeeding despite their efforts to trip you up. It makes them feel powerless.

anon3_
> Nothing annoys the fk out of people then succeeding despite their efforts to trip you up.

I like it. I want to turn the tables.

RNeff
Think of yourself as a marionette, a puppet controlled by strings. Do you control yourself, or are you letting other people pull your strings? If you react to a wrong, you are letting others pull your strings and control you. The other 'wins' because they are controlling you. Any reaction: yelling, fighting, tweeting, blogging, crying, means that they are winning, controlling you.

Fairness is a wishful concept, a myth that we want to believe in. Companies are not fair, they have to be profitable and feed the megalomania of the CEO. People change, and so do relationships. Shit happens.

Let it go, and move on to Plan B. You control your future, the past cannot be changed.