When they delivered her first Porsche, instead of being happy and high, my sister had a soul crushing rumination.
"Do I really deserve it ? What about all the others who are just like me ?" and so on. She was feeling guilty and concerned, but she knew that she had to accept it otherwise the "gift" from life will be taken away. Then there was the penthouse, then another one, then other cars and each time it was easier and easier, because she's managed to work it out, she's managed to convince herself that yes she deserves it, yes she's better and that's why she has to have all this stuff. People are looking up to her, she must be an example for them to follow.
But then oftentimes we'd sit at the table and she gets all existential and feels guilty again. And afraid that she'll loose it all some day.
The only way to get over that is to convince herself that she's worth it. And you do it by earning even more, by being even more exclusive.
"Do not pursue what is illusionary - property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night." - Soljenitsyn.
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[ 2.4 ms ] story [ 11.7 ms ] thread"Do I really deserve it ? What about all the others who are just like me ?" and so on. She was feeling guilty and concerned, but she knew that she had to accept it otherwise the "gift" from life will be taken away. Then there was the penthouse, then another one, then other cars and each time it was easier and easier, because she's managed to work it out, she's managed to convince herself that yes she deserves it, yes she's better and that's why she has to have all this stuff. People are looking up to her, she must be an example for them to follow.
But then oftentimes we'd sit at the table and she gets all existential and feels guilty again. And afraid that she'll loose it all some day. The only way to get over that is to convince herself that she's worth it. And you do it by earning even more, by being even more exclusive.
"Do not pursue what is illusionary - property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night." - Soljenitsyn.