Ask HN: How do “introverted” entrepreneurs build a network?
The virtues of having a "network" for entrepreneurs are well documented. It's easy enough for people who like going out to events and striking conversations up. How do introverted entrepreneurs who do not like initiating conversations manage to build good networks?
24 comments
[ 279 ms ] story [ 2995 ms ] threadI've been browsing some meets on meetup.com and intend on going to a few. Many people have reassured me that whilst I'm the introverted type and events like this make me somewhat anxious... a lot of people are the same. I'd say that in the tech/dev world, more people have some kind of social awkwardness than not. The people that immeditately gel and befriend everyone aren't common. Maybe I'm wrong. shrug
I've been making friends on interpals.net - I originally signed up looking to do a bit of a language exchange, but ended up talking to a bunch of people.
After that, I feel like I'm on a bit of a roll and it's just a case of continuing. It's quite refreshing to know I can make friends, it's almost becoming enjoyable. :)
- What's the worst that could happen?
- Take an interest in other people, ask them what they're working on, etc.
- You won't be the most introverted person at x event.
Good luck. :)
That said, I've noticed something interesting which was re-affirmed by your comment as well - that many an introverted person find easier to "reach out" to strangers and enjoy conversing when it comes to "online talking". And for most of them/us, it's more the initiation of conversation that's the issue and not the continuing of it (assuming it's not just small-talk).
My main issue is that as an entrepreneur, one is expected to be at these events and form networks - which requires initiation of conversation, especially with people like investors who aren't the most respectful at times. This further messes up the already fragile n doubtful self-esteem of an introverted founder.
I suspect several founders out there "suffer" in silence with these issues which exacerbate the mental well-being problems.
When you're an introvert, you tend to be much more cautious about the connections that you make with people and to cultivate them more. Sure, I have a bajillion people to reach out to and socialize with, but if shit hit the fan, it's a much smaller number. I would think that as an introvert, almost everyone in that network would be willing to jump for you.
Don't think of it as networking. You're just attending an event where everyone wants to talk with you. Go up to any random stranger, and ask them what they're working on that they're excited about, or if they've done something interesting lately. Just try to get to know people. When I socialize, I just think about getting to know someone, versus that I'm socializing, or networking. I just want to know about them. Also, don't be dismissive--even if someone is not in your space, you never know who they know, and you might have just met your new best friend. Be kind to everyone. I have Starbucks barista's and Fortune 500 execs on my LinkedIn--and I'm happy to help all of them.
TL;DR: look at it as meeting a bunch of new friends who already want to meet you, stay connected, and help them when you can.
Have fun!
I started very small and very simply: I started reading etiquette books (this was as a teenager). No joke. If you think about it, they're just really 'how to' books that cover a lot of social situations (I still have a copy of Debrett's). Anyway, so I started there and began to add what I read into my everyday social interactions. Things got a bit easier. From there, I actually joined greek life in college. Sure, it gets a bad rap, but I very quickly learned how to become very comfortable in social situations because I FORCED myself into a setting that was, by nature, incredibly social. As an adult, I'd suggest getting involved in some activity that you enjoy that has a heavy social aspect...and also NOT with people who are JUST LIKE YOU (i.e. don't go to meetups for just coders or engineers). I also held two sales jobs and volunteered at a phone bank to call people and ask for donations for a good cause. Cold-calling people and sales were really helpful because it gets you incredibly comfortable with rejection--which, if you really think about it, is, IMO, the reason those of us who are naturally shy are shy--there's a small worry about rejection, or at least nervousness around 'maybe this person won't like me'. If you get rejected enough, you literally don't even notice anymore.
Those were the things that I did that I believe had the biggest impact. Hopefully you can take some of my experiences and make them work for you. Have fun.
As an introvert I bask in the comfort of non-realtime communication and the chance to compose and edit my thoughts. I suspect there are others like me too!
Going out to events and striking up conversations probably have more to do with problems of finding the right kinds of events, overcoming shyness, anxiety, public speaking, etc.
There is a podcast I learned about from HN called the Art of Charm. They handle some basic things like how to strike up conversations and such. Might be worth a listen.
So yes, even though the problems you mentioned might cause one to incorrectly classify themselves as an introvert, it shouldn't take away from the actual problems introverts face when being pulled strongly in opposite directions by their disinterest in striking up conversations and by a real necessity to network in order to be successful as entrepreneurs.
Thanks for the podcast mention though - will check it out.
I think the trick for introverts going to networking events is to have a game plan about what they hope to accomplish from the event. The goal should be to try an make a least 2-3 meaningful connections. They should not feel burden with the need to be extroverted, or be something other than oneself.
This mentality, which personifies American corporate culture, about extroversion being good and introversion being bad, started with Cale Carnegie in the early part of the nineteenth century.
I think what every introvert and business should understand is that introverts bring some of the best ideas to table. However, most often employers want that extroverted employee, who always seems happy and smiling and talks a lot. That might might be good for corporate image, but not always the bottom line.
Introversion is how an individual replenishes energy. Alone or with others.
To create, in part, requires an extreme level of introspection, going dark or time in the Lab, something that introverts are quite good at.
Let your works speak for themselves. This is what I have found to be the most powerful networking move an introvert can make.
This is also something that sales, marketing, branding and some investor types will never understand.
This is also something that the Google guys understood very well and they seem to be fairly well networked these days.
Dale Carnegie wrote a book titled "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (which I recommend, its old, but a great read!) where he described that the easiest way to "win friends" or influence people is to have a genuine interest in other people and actively listen and allow them to feel your genuine interest in them.
I find that when I have more introverted characteristics I am able to make more connections because I spend more time listening to other people and less time trying to make myself feel important which helps me to better get to know the person I am meeting and to appreciate and value their characteristics and skills.
Recently I began a summer college job working for an accounting firm with 100 other employees and I only knew about 6-7 people. Over the past few weeks I have dedicated a large amount of time to expanding my network and getting to know my fellow workers on a personal level. Now I find friendly faces all around and I consistently have people popping in to my office area asking if I need anything or just seeing how I am doing and even sometimes popping in to talk about some cool new business that they read about (sometimes even the CEO).
I think that at the end of the day whether you are an introvert or an extrovert all that it takes to start building a network is to find a genuine interest in other people. If you have that you will be pretty successful at what you want to do.
Are you looking for a geographically relevant network? Or will distributed and virtual suffice?