That’s not what an ad hominem is. An ad hominem means attacking the person making the argument instead of addressing the substance of the argument. If the argument involves issues that might reflect on a person’s…
I don’t think those statements apply to e.g. everyone who uses sleep training, and I never said they did. But I know of parents who all those statements would apply to. It’s currently quite socially acceptable to…
Your argument seems to be that questioning the morality of anything an otherwise well-meaning person does and might be sensitive about is “shaming” and “insulting” and an attempt to “control” the person. That strikes me…
I totally agree that there are questionable studies on both sides. That said, I’m not aware of any studies supporting sleep training that don’t have glaring issues. I also agree about La Leche League being a biased…
If people feel shame, it’s probably because they have some ambiguous feelings on the matter. No one can force someone else to feel shame, especially not through an internet comment. People like you are trying to shame…
To be clear, I’m not asking anyone to accept my “authority”, which as you rightly point out, is nonexistent as a random anonymous person on the internet. I’m not claiming to be an expert on child psychology, but I do…
Your point seems to be that parenting is hard so we can never publicly criticize any common parenting practices because it might hurt some parents' feeling. I disagree. If I'm doing something harmful to my child, I want…
It's always fun to be criticized for not citing research by people who don't cite anything themselves. You're the one advocating for an approach that is unnatural, brand new in human (and primate) history, and that…
The major studies that have been done are fairly easy to find with some google investigation. I looked at them all over a year ago and formed my conclusions. I unfortunately didn't keep around a list of links to post in…
You seem to think only the process of sleep training is bad, but the result is good, so you are focused on one process compared to another. But as bad as the process is, I think the result is much worse--the resignation…
> I am telling you that the two are not equivalent Well, that's where I disagree. I think they are functionally equivalent. > I address the "ignoring" part in my post You address it by claiming that sleep training…
I certainly have more respect for someone who does sleep training because they think it's best for the child, rather than for themselves. Of course, everyone will say that's why they're doing it, but you seem sincere. I…
In my experience, babies will get enough sleep one way or another, with or without "sleep training", though it may not be on a consistent or convenient schedule. Parents can easily get enough sleep as well. It's called…
A 'euphemism', according to Merriam-Webster, is "the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant." "Sleep training", in all its forms, means ignoring…
Sorry. In retrospect, I shouldn't have engaged. Too late to delete now...
Feel free to change every "you should" to "one should" in your head. I understand that this is a sensitive subject, but there are people reading this thread who are about to become parents, and they need to know the…
I just think that if it is hard, it's up to the parents to deal with, one way or another. They should either suck it up and slog through or change something in their lives so they can handle things better and it's not…
I didn't mean to shame the OP, though I can see how it might have come across that way. What I take issue with is the implication of relativism. That as long as you love your kids, it's fine if you just do whatever is…
In my experience, "sleep training" is just a more palatable euphemism for "cry it out". My view is that however you slice it, you are conditioning the baby that no one will respond to its distress. I'm glad you feel it…
Who said it has to be a grueling slog? I said do your best, not wear a crown of thorns. I don't think it necessarily has to be hard, but people often make it harder than it needs to be because they're unwilling to make…
Most of it is, but not all of it. My own conclusion (which is not the one I wanted to reach, believe me) was that when you throw out all the bad research, the evidence, while not conclusive, does clearly point more in…
I most often see that kind of thing from parents who are trying to compensate for failing to be present in more fundamental ways.
Sounds like you're making excuses instead of stepping up and taking responsibility for the choices you made.
"Helicopter parenting" and "smothering" are not the only alternatives to self-serving, self-absorbed neglect. Throwing your hands up because something is hard and there are no obvious answers is not a recipe for doing a…
It's true. Yet another hard thing about being a parent is that there is a lot of crappy "research" and advice to wade through (including most of the research claiming to support your view, btw). But there's some solid…
That’s not what an ad hominem is. An ad hominem means attacking the person making the argument instead of addressing the substance of the argument. If the argument involves issues that might reflect on a person’s…
I don’t think those statements apply to e.g. everyone who uses sleep training, and I never said they did. But I know of parents who all those statements would apply to. It’s currently quite socially acceptable to…
Your argument seems to be that questioning the morality of anything an otherwise well-meaning person does and might be sensitive about is “shaming” and “insulting” and an attempt to “control” the person. That strikes me…
I totally agree that there are questionable studies on both sides. That said, I’m not aware of any studies supporting sleep training that don’t have glaring issues. I also agree about La Leche League being a biased…
If people feel shame, it’s probably because they have some ambiguous feelings on the matter. No one can force someone else to feel shame, especially not through an internet comment. People like you are trying to shame…
To be clear, I’m not asking anyone to accept my “authority”, which as you rightly point out, is nonexistent as a random anonymous person on the internet. I’m not claiming to be an expert on child psychology, but I do…
Your point seems to be that parenting is hard so we can never publicly criticize any common parenting practices because it might hurt some parents' feeling. I disagree. If I'm doing something harmful to my child, I want…
It's always fun to be criticized for not citing research by people who don't cite anything themselves. You're the one advocating for an approach that is unnatural, brand new in human (and primate) history, and that…
The major studies that have been done are fairly easy to find with some google investigation. I looked at them all over a year ago and formed my conclusions. I unfortunately didn't keep around a list of links to post in…
You seem to think only the process of sleep training is bad, but the result is good, so you are focused on one process compared to another. But as bad as the process is, I think the result is much worse--the resignation…
> I am telling you that the two are not equivalent Well, that's where I disagree. I think they are functionally equivalent. > I address the "ignoring" part in my post You address it by claiming that sleep training…
I certainly have more respect for someone who does sleep training because they think it's best for the child, rather than for themselves. Of course, everyone will say that's why they're doing it, but you seem sincere. I…
In my experience, babies will get enough sleep one way or another, with or without "sleep training", though it may not be on a consistent or convenient schedule. Parents can easily get enough sleep as well. It's called…
A 'euphemism', according to Merriam-Webster, is "the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant." "Sleep training", in all its forms, means ignoring…
Sorry. In retrospect, I shouldn't have engaged. Too late to delete now...
Feel free to change every "you should" to "one should" in your head. I understand that this is a sensitive subject, but there are people reading this thread who are about to become parents, and they need to know the…
I just think that if it is hard, it's up to the parents to deal with, one way or another. They should either suck it up and slog through or change something in their lives so they can handle things better and it's not…
I didn't mean to shame the OP, though I can see how it might have come across that way. What I take issue with is the implication of relativism. That as long as you love your kids, it's fine if you just do whatever is…
In my experience, "sleep training" is just a more palatable euphemism for "cry it out". My view is that however you slice it, you are conditioning the baby that no one will respond to its distress. I'm glad you feel it…
Who said it has to be a grueling slog? I said do your best, not wear a crown of thorns. I don't think it necessarily has to be hard, but people often make it harder than it needs to be because they're unwilling to make…
Most of it is, but not all of it. My own conclusion (which is not the one I wanted to reach, believe me) was that when you throw out all the bad research, the evidence, while not conclusive, does clearly point more in…
I most often see that kind of thing from parents who are trying to compensate for failing to be present in more fundamental ways.
Sounds like you're making excuses instead of stepping up and taking responsibility for the choices you made.
"Helicopter parenting" and "smothering" are not the only alternatives to self-serving, self-absorbed neglect. Throwing your hands up because something is hard and there are no obvious answers is not a recipe for doing a…
It's true. Yet another hard thing about being a parent is that there is a lot of crappy "research" and advice to wade through (including most of the research claiming to support your view, btw). But there's some solid…