I strongly disagree with this comment.

For centuries we lived in large families and those within communities where everyone witnessed birth at home with multiple siblings and responsibilities around raising children from a small age. The current atomic families with two adult both completely inexperienced in raising a child is unprecedented in history.

For a newborn you can sail on your heart but later on it is insufficient unless you had a good upbringing where you naturally learned patterns - but in that case this question would not be here.

In my personal experience having a good overview on what to realistically expect from a child of a specific age gives a great boost to empathy and patience. You also need a good understanding on what do you want to change in yourself and start working on that because your child will copy you a lot.

OP - you don't find resources because your search it too broad. Try searching for specifics for the first year and start from that.

/rant on, sorry, this topic just gets to me

There is no consensus on how to rise a child because there are so many different paths to take.

You can simply not care that much as your heart could dictate that kids are annoying and not for you in the end - there is a system in place to do that for you that is either a babysitter, a child-care or a school where professionals can do it much better than you anyway. Your heart may dictate that you did not have time for your old hobbies and friends and you really deserve it now that the kid reached school age.

You can decide that you care and spend a lot of time with them so the child will be balanced, feel safe and feel loved with the hope of not having that much emotional shit to figure out in their 30s. Maybe you want to search for the best tutors and send your child to excel in sport or music or sciences so they get the pressure they need to grow and the knowledge to excel in adult life. Maybe you give them as much freedom as possible to do what they want so they can learn the world as it is at their own pace. Maybe you are just lonely and they make you less lonely so you are now best friends forever with them. Your heart would love that, no?

Anyway, there are some questions that cannot be answered by "follow your heart":

- Where should you put your baby when he shat himself to the neck and you try to change the diaper and someone is at the door?

- What guidelines to follow when you want them to learn to close the FUCKING door?

- How involved should you be in his school/homework?

- There is a general consensus on what a newborn needs (mother, milk, sleep and clean diaper) but what does a kid _really_ need at year 1, 2-3, 3-6, 7-11 or more? What to realistically expect from a kid of that age and what should we not?

- Why do they sleep so much and what how much sleep should a kid of age 0,1,2,....18 get?

- What's up with movies and phones and TV? Are they really harmful? How do they measure that?

- Okay, kids needs boundaries but how to set those up? From what year? Why is that one boundary works for one kid and not for the other? Why do they need boundaries btw?

- Why is the first kid and the second kid so different in personality brings the questions of what kind of personalities there are and if they are related to birth order?

- Today's culture says "hitting the child is bad m'kay" but why is that and what is the recommended alternative to getting to a healthy and respected relationship with your kid?

- Should you try to be friends with your child? Why or why not?

- There are disturbing people that can make connection and build trust with your child within one minute - how do they do that?

/rant off