Ask HN: Office merge. They have a pet policy. I'm scared of dogs. What can I do?
My employer will soon be merging two of its offices into a new site. The new space is open plan (desks, not cubicles) and will hold about 100 people. The other place has a 'bring your dog to work' policy, but I'm quite uncomfortable having dogs running around me.
Personally (and the opinion of others in my office) is that the idea that you'd bring your pets to work is rediculous, but from a quick browse of the Internet it seems to have mixed opinions.
Am I right to bring it up that the dog should go, or should I try not to make waves?
68 comments
[ 3.2 ms ] story [ 158 ms ] threadThe most I've ever seen is a few minutes of someone bring in their child to show some co-workers before after heading out to lunch or home.
If someone is bringing their baby in while they are working for the whole day, I think it would be reasonable to ask them to find child care options.
At a large company I was interviewing at they showed us an open-floor office for employees whose babysitter was missing on that day (or a sick spouse or whatever).
The employees could just grab their laptop, and take a desk in that office for a day.
In front of all the desks was a glass wall. Behind it a kindergarten, so that the parents could see their child and the children were occupied.
We also had someone who loved dogs but was deathly allergic.
Like everyone said, talk to HR. They will figure something out.
The whole pets policy seems crazy to me, what's to stop me bringing my SO to work because I enjoy her company.
Do you think it's just convenient for the owner, or is there something behind letting people bring pets to work?
Hopefully mine is an unusual case though.
Everyone in the office became a fan of the mutt, and I had lots of volunteers for lunchtime walks! Including the lady who was wary of German Shepherds at the start, who ended up curing her phobia "Oh it's only him, he's harmless".
He'd sleep near the desk until someone came over to talk to him, and as a result I wasn't clock watching quite so much (must go, dog needs out). A few heads would sometimes turn when he was having a drink (not so quiet). If I was away from desk he'd just go and settle near one of his other friends.
I felt much better towards both employers as a result.
A lot is going to depend on how well trained they are - lots of barking and running around will drive everyone crazy. Me included.
Something to keep in mind when all feedback on an element workplace environment is positive.
but, as long as you're stuck in the situation, have you ever considered trying to train the dog, since the owner obviously hasn't? it only takes about 15 minutes a day. check out youtube.
Obviously I can't know if anyone was quietly against, but the woman who said she was wary because of breed was a quick convert. If she hadn't been he'd have stayed home and spend the day on the sofa - as he had in my previous job.
As an example, we just moved from Vancouver BC to Oslo. There are no direct flights between these two cities. To minimize the shock to our dog, we flew in to Amsterdam and spent two days on the train to get to Oslo. We both whole-heartedly felt it was the right decision every minute of the long journey because neither of us want to see him as distraught as he was that day.
We rescued him within 30 days of me going out on my own to freelance in 2011. Despite many concerted efforts of curbing his separation anxiety, he can't go 30 seconds alone without howling his sadness. Given that, every career decision I've made since has gone through the lens of 'What about Charlie?' I understood what I was in for when we got him, and it has certainly introduced limitations to the work I'm able to pursue, but we wouldn't go back on that initial decision.
I've had long running contracts where he was welcome on site. This was the difference between me being able to take the work and me turning it down.
In my biased opinion, quiet and well behaved dogs can co-exist in a productive office. If a pro-dog policy facilitates talent acquisition, in-person communication, and doesn't disrupt anybody - it's a net positive. If the dog is a misbehaving little brat, that's a different story.
The trouble is that animals act differently when the owner is not around. If possible, spray apple juice on your clothing before you leave for work that day. The animal will bite you, but you won't see it again after that.
Disagreeing, complaining, and litigating are one thing. Deliberately falsifying a situation is quite another.
This is of course leaving aside the fact that the course of action you suggest could easily lead to a life being taken.
It is impossible for me to courteously describe how appalled I am at your advice.
Unless the dog is huge, it's unlikely he'll die.
Here's what my city looks like: http://dogswaitinginberlin.tumblr.com/
Unleashed dogs everywhere. Never heard of it being a problem.
700 people in a city of 3.5m feels like a tiny number. Although I don't know how badly these people were bitten. (Or if this list include attacks without bites).
The best advice for the work place is certainly to talk to HR/your manager, but in a more general way it might help you to be able to read basic dog body language. The most basic is to simply look at the tail. If a dog is wagging it's tail it is most likely happy and is a strong signal it won't attack. Conversely if it's hackles are up, if any hair on it's back is pointing up or raised then it might be concerned and should be avoided.
Only dogs with serious problems would react without giving some sort of sign that they are upset and most will avoid confrontation unless they feel like they are defending territory or resources.
Not all dogs are like that, of course
While there are breed variations and some seem to have a skin that's oilier than most, actual bad smell is a sign that something is wrong. As in humans, it is usually due to poor hygiene, with poor oral health being the biggest culprit (dogs use the mouth to scratch, remove things from fur, lick themselves, etc).
Skin conditions are rather common, some can smell really bad. Even if it is something as benign as whatever the dog acne equivalent is.
Localized smell usually means the dog found something interesting, to his sense of smell, and rubbed itself on it.
Of course, some owners are just too lazy to bathe their dogs, even once a month.
but there's absolutely no way i would suggest, or insinuate, that someone with a fear of dogs (phobia or otherwise), get "help", or even have to worry about the remote possibility of dealing with dogs in any office environment that doesn't have "veterinarian" in the description.
it's just straight up ridiculous. i'm highly allergic to cats, even though i like them in general. if i had to deal with cats in an office i'd quit on the spot and probably not quietly.
Sure, they shouldn't be required to get help in order to keep their job. That would be ridiculous.
However, addressing the phobia would really be helpful. Better yet, learning how to handle dogs is a useful skill to have, even more so if you don't like them.
Now, can anyone give me tips on handling cats? I can't read their body language and I always feel I'm going to get scratched suddenly.
Cat purrs sound to a dog like growling. Meows sound to a dog like prey.
The easiest way to not get scratched by a cat is to leave it alone. If you want cat to like you more quickly, seriously get a recording of purring on your iphone and play it. Cats like to be scratched between the ears and eyes, and like to be petted on the nape of the neck. Anywhere else, you might get scratched.
In my case, I big component of my fear was due to just not understanding their behavior. After living with one for almost 3 years, I've basically lost whatever fear I had. I was fine(ish!) around small dogs, but got really scared of big ones. Now I just don't care what breed or size it is, I can just read their body language.
On the other hand, a co-worker would bring her dog in and the thing would non-stop run around the office, sliding into things, barking incessantly, knocking over and digging through trash cans...
It's fun having dogs at work, but it's pretty sensible for a company to place its employees before their pets. Raise your concern - it's not unusual to be uncomfortable around animals.
If it's not a deathly fear though, I suggest trying to be open minded about it. Most of the dogs in our office pretty much sleep or stay near their owner 99% of the day. They only perk up when food is around or the UPS guy comes by ;)
If you're not having 1:1 sessions with your manager, you should be. It's a great way to nip issues in the bud before they become unmanageable.
That being said, definitely consider meeting some nice dogs to convince yourself that they're not so scary. If you're feeling ambitious, go to a dog park and ask people if it's okay to pet their dog. Hold out the back of your hand to let it sniff you before you pet it, and move toward it slowly to gauge it's level of comfort. These little fears are worth taking the time to overcome.
It happened to my cousin. His mom (my aunt) mentions that he started stuttering after that. And he is still very much afraid of dogs. People back there undertand that fear.
Here in US, it is more "Oh, don't be afraid of Fluffy, he's fine, just pet him". Telling them someone is afraid of them is just inviting ridicule. A co-worker I knew was just telling people he is alergic. He was from India, and figured we Americans understand alergies pretty well, so he said that explanation worked better than explaining his phobia.
You don't know it yet, but dogs are, with almost no exceptions, wonderful, loving beings. All they want to do is be part of your pack and make you happy, and get love back.
This sounds like a great opportunity for you. Pick one dog. Learn it's name. Say hi to it. Pet it. It won't take long if you get to see it regularly. You be forever grateful you did.
In the past, I have generally disliked pets. However, my wife really wants a dog. So over the years I've grown to dislike them less and less, to the point where they now generally make me smile.
They might make you uncomfortable now, but it doesn't have to be that way if you try.
(Oh, and by the way, I'm incredibly allergic to dogs and cats. But I get around this by washing my hands after touching them. I've also been told that there are shots you can get that will cure pet allergies such as these.)
2) Get this book, or one like it (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0195311353/) CBT is a powerful way to rewire your brain, so "dog = fear" will be a thing of the past in a few weeks of practice.
There probably isn't a safer place to practice exposures since people don't bring unfriendly dogs to work, and you can see the dogs interact with people before you practice exposure and pick ones that are smaller/friendlier/calmer/safer-feeling to start with.