No solitude is not healthy. Only our shitty 21st century individualism pushes from industry and media have shifted things in that direction and almost nobody is happy doing it.
Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. Solitude is normally something you choose while loneliness is a product of circumstance. Some of us aggravate our loneliness by being difficult but it's still not the same as solitude.
You are mangling the word "choice" to fit your argument. Solitude is (for instance) me deciding to have a day or a week for myself to hike a trail alone. Loneliness is not having anybody that would do the hike with me if I invited them.
Or to your more visceral examples: Medically assisted suicide could barely be called a choice (there are hardly any options with less painful outcome), but a suicide to avoid being hurt by others against your will is definitely even less of a choice.
> You are mangling the word "choice" to fit your argument. Solitude is (for instance) me deciding to have a day or a week for myself to hike a trail alone. Loneliness is not having anybody that would do the hike with me if I invited them.
This is not how it works in the real world.
Consumers are blasted with manipulative ad but still they've a choice, it's no more different than a suicide.
It seems like this is an effect of many things that are a byproduct of modernity and progress. We continue to move away from rural distributed multigenerational living arrangements to individualized quarters in cities.
I'm not sure this trend can be extricated given family units have become smaller over time as access to medicine and education has increased.
It's not a product of capitalism or democracy, (or communism or authoritarianism); it’s a product progress --how we deal with this modern phenomenon remains to be seen, given this is a pretty recent development (a 20th century development).
People are trying to avoid the downside of social interaction.
Try writing a politically incorrect comment here and see instant refutation followed by downvotes.
People are not good at coming up with morally correct statements in a realtime situation, they don't want to be shunned by saying something unpopular. It's better to giveup on your own terms then be ostracized by a group.
I have never seen a problem with being politically incorrect (I certainly have never tried to be PC and have made plenty of "offensive-sounding" arguments). Just do not be inflammatory, make the most offensive statements if you wish, and stop complaining when you get "instant refutation". Be honest in your arguments, do not try to defend yourself behind cries of "political correctness".
There's more than one kind of solitude, for me at least.
There's the kind when I'm absorbed in a book. Far from feeling alone, I feel get caught up in the story and sort of feel like a participant in an imaginary world. It doesn't feel like solitude at all.
Then there's the kind when I'm "in the zone" working on something. I loose track of time, people, and surroundings and when I finally figure it out I feel really good.
The rest of the time I'm just alone and lonely, and that's a bad thing.
> "When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."
It's not about having company, it's about having company with whom you feel a togetherness - shared workplaces and shared beds can be surprisingly lonely places.
Solitude, if voluntary, is a gift and should be embraced - it's the place where you grow and develop. Involuntary solitude is loneliness and modern society provides both the cause (atomized lifestyles and little time) and the cure (meetup/dating apps, airplanes).
I agree with your praise of the comment, but I really don't think this sort of haughty dismissal is constructive. If you find yourself frustrated that people are taking umbrage with something, explore that - a defense peppered with insults does harm to the image of the object of your praise.
dissent is punished, whether carefully argumented, politely constructed to avoid hurting sensibilities, or blunt.
I have noticed a comnon pattern here that leads to high praises: on the negative aide: being dismissive of cryogeny, of crypto currency, of China ; on the positive side: being pro regulations, pro social programs, etc.
My exploration is that the arguments are unsound, and emotionally driven. I remember someone explaining without shame that their hatred of Huawei was because of Nortel problems in Canada (!!) It seems very weird to me.
I believe a lot of people here are in technology because it is trendy. They have limited passion on the subject. They have links to their websites on their profile, and seem to mostly seek networking, and parroting generally accepted things to avoid any objections or controversy.
I respect that difference. I am here to read thought provoking innovative content, and write interesting discussions with interesting people. I do not wish to lie about my sensitivies, but I take no umbrage to different opinions. Difference leads to innovation! I find that mostly in the "new" section.
I recently read a nonfiction book called The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone [1], which talks about the interplay between solitude, loneliness, and creativity. The author talks about loneliness and solitude in her own life and she examines artists for whom these traits played a prominent role in their lives and their work.
Many artists have written about the necessity of loneliness and solitude for achieving original work [2]. Neuroscientists [3], psychologists [4], and philosophers [5] have expressed this as well.
Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude. I think many people suffer anxiety because society tells them they "need" to be constantly social, surrounded by others. The stigmatization of solitude is not uncommon. Introverted people encounter this on a regular basis. However, a healthy amount of solitude in our lives allows us to be ourselves with ourselves, unconcerned with the demands of others and the pressures of society. In this setting, we can truly be original and whole.
[2] "Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day." -- Ernest Hemingway
[3] "Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!" -- Santiago Ramón y Cajal
[4] "In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone." -- Rollo May
[5] "That is why I go into solitude so as not to drink out of everybody’s cistern. When I am among the many I live as the many do, and I do not think as I really think; after a time it always seems as though they want to banish me from myself and rob me of my soul and I grow angry with everybody and fear everybody." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
> Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude.
Beautiful post, and I think that line encapsulates quite perfectly what any thinking person should keep in mind when it comes to discussions on solitude and socialization.
The difficulty of achieving that balance is that it differs person to person, and culture tends to compound the difficulty of achieving the perfect individual balance.
Imo, self-knowledge and the self-confidence it helps canalize offer the only navigable route through the overpowering currents of culture towards that island of balance.
Too much "we" and "our" in these things. The author may speak only for himself (or herself).
The people who "choose" to spend time alone, do so because they have that choice available to them--it's a kind of "social privilege" or prerogative, available to those whose time and attention is in most demand.
It's reminiscent of an attitude that doesn't understand why "all those poor people just don't get normal jobs."
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[ 4.6 ms ] story [ 56.7 ms ] threadSuicide is also something people choose. Being killed is something that happens to them.
If a person suicides to not be torced and then killed my the enemies. How is that different from choosing soltitude over loneliness?
Or to your more visceral examples: Medically assisted suicide could barely be called a choice (there are hardly any options with less painful outcome), but a suicide to avoid being hurt by others against your will is definitely even less of a choice.
This is not how it works in the real world.
Consumers are blasted with manipulative ad but still they've a choice, it's no more different than a suicide.
I'm not sure this trend can be extricated given family units have become smaller over time as access to medicine and education has increased.
It's not a product of capitalism or democracy, (or communism or authoritarianism); it’s a product progress --how we deal with this modern phenomenon remains to be seen, given this is a pretty recent development (a 20th century development).
Try writing a politically incorrect comment here and see instant refutation followed by downvotes.
People are not good at coming up with morally correct statements in a realtime situation, they don't want to be shunned by saying something unpopular. It's better to giveup on your own terms then be ostracized by a group.
They avoid interactions.
There's the kind when I'm absorbed in a book. Far from feeling alone, I feel get caught up in the story and sort of feel like a participant in an imaginary world. It doesn't feel like solitude at all.
Then there's the kind when I'm "in the zone" working on something. I loose track of time, people, and surroundings and when I finally figure it out I feel really good.
The rest of the time I'm just alone and lonely, and that's a bad thing.
Whatever the reason, spirituality, philosophy, art, to name a few, people have decided to live alone since at least recorded history...
> "When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."
It's not about having company, it's about having company with whom you feel a togetherness - shared workplaces and shared beds can be surprisingly lonely places.
Solitude, if voluntary, is a gift and should be embraced - it's the place where you grow and develop. Involuntary solitude is loneliness and modern society provides both the cause (atomized lifestyles and little time) and the cure (meetup/dating apps, airplanes).
Many people seem to use downvotes to indicate their disagreement with an idea than offend their political or moral sensibilities.
I have noticed a comnon pattern here that leads to high praises: on the negative aide: being dismissive of cryogeny, of crypto currency, of China ; on the positive side: being pro regulations, pro social programs, etc.
My exploration is that the arguments are unsound, and emotionally driven. I remember someone explaining without shame that their hatred of Huawei was because of Nortel problems in Canada (!!) It seems very weird to me.
I believe a lot of people here are in technology because it is trendy. They have limited passion on the subject. They have links to their websites on their profile, and seem to mostly seek networking, and parroting generally accepted things to avoid any objections or controversy.
I respect that difference. I am here to read thought provoking innovative content, and write interesting discussions with interesting people. I do not wish to lie about my sensitivies, but I take no umbrage to different opinions. Difference leads to innovation! I find that mostly in the "new" section.
Good enough for me.
Many artists have written about the necessity of loneliness and solitude for achieving original work [2]. Neuroscientists [3], psychologists [4], and philosophers [5] have expressed this as well.
Like everything else, our lives need to have a balance between socialization and solitude. I think many people suffer anxiety because society tells them they "need" to be constantly social, surrounded by others. The stigmatization of solitude is not uncommon. Introverted people encounter this on a regular basis. However, a healthy amount of solitude in our lives allows us to be ourselves with ourselves, unconcerned with the demands of others and the pressures of society. In this setting, we can truly be original and whole.
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Lonely-City-Adventures-Being-Alone/dp...
[2] "Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day." -- Ernest Hemingway
[3] "Oh comforting solitude, how favorable thou art to original thought!" -- Santiago Ramón y Cajal
[4] "In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone." -- Rollo May
[5] "That is why I go into solitude so as not to drink out of everybody’s cistern. When I am among the many I live as the many do, and I do not think as I really think; after a time it always seems as though they want to banish me from myself and rob me of my soul and I grow angry with everybody and fear everybody." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
Beautiful post, and I think that line encapsulates quite perfectly what any thinking person should keep in mind when it comes to discussions on solitude and socialization.
The difficulty of achieving that balance is that it differs person to person, and culture tends to compound the difficulty of achieving the perfect individual balance.
Imo, self-knowledge and the self-confidence it helps canalize offer the only navigable route through the overpowering currents of culture towards that island of balance.
The people who "choose" to spend time alone, do so because they have that choice available to them--it's a kind of "social privilege" or prerogative, available to those whose time and attention is in most demand.
It's reminiscent of an attitude that doesn't understand why "all those poor people just don't get normal jobs."