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Ask HN: How to disagree with someone more powerful than you

6 points by Raj7k ↗ HN
What do I need to say if I disagree with my manager or CEO. Sometime I even don't know whether to speak or not.

The issues could be anything, it can be my goal, my deadline to finish something or some idea which is not worth trying..

7 comments

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thenaturalist
It's rather simple, really: Your honest and plain opinion. Formulated in respectful, but determined words.

Especially if you're dealing with higher ups and (important caveat) they are not narcissistic, they will respect clarity and honesty.

Working in groups and in higher positions it is absolutely normal - and actually beneficial - to deal with differing opinions. There is research on the fact that contrary voices increase the quality of group decisions - google Devil's Advocate.

itamarst
Two techniques:

1. Instead of disagreeing outright, try to figure out their motivation and your motivation, and then find a third solution that addresses both. Talk about this here: https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/03/09/win-technical-argume...

2. When asked to do something you don't want to, don't just say "no". Instead, listen in detail, and ask questions - this helps you decide better, and shows respect. Then decide, and explain your disagreement in terms of project and organizational goals - "I can do that, but then I'd have to drop this bug that is impacting our biggest customer - can it wait until next week?" (Long version: https://codewithoutrules.com/2018/08/16/how-to-say-no/)

Raj7k
This was quite helpful. Thanks for sharing.
jimsojim
Just be ultra honest about the point you want to make with supporting evidence/arguments without being disrespectful. The way you speak to your manager doesn't necessarily have to the same you speak to your CEO, because their motivations may differ (usually do). Speaking to CEO, you should try to be aligned with the company goals, whatever you're speaking about try to connect with company's goals. At the end of the day, that is all CEO cares about. However, manager might have ulterior motives, politics etc. So here you formulate your points without causing too much trouble or insecurity to their position.
Someone
What culture are you in? In direct cultures, saying “I don’t see how that makes sense” or even “that’s nonsense” can be appropriate things to say to your manager; in others one should phrase that as “that’s interesting” or “I’ll think about it”. In yet others, saying “yes”, but doing “no” can be appropriate.