Ask HN: How do you remain disciplined and be your best self?

I stop saying I "should" do this or I "should" do that, and just let life run its course.

Not sure if that helps you, but I've been there man. Email me if you want to talk.

i'm on the same spot, it's hard to focus. that are all side effects of the weed.

if you stop, your body wants it again and you can not focus. if you have it, its nice but you get lazy.

The book mainly covers tobacco smoking, but he also explains at the end in the sections on addiction to other drugs, that you can read the whole book in relation to other drugs too, including cannabis.

The book isn’t about stopping smoking purely for the physical health benefits and only by willpower. Instead it helps you realise how addiction creates stress for you, and how smoking (whatever you smoke) never really alleviates those stresses, but actually contributes to them.

I’d also suggest trying to surround yourself with friends who are better for you and can push you in the right direction. Try and get into some extra-curricular projects with others so that you can’t slack off alone. Being in the right environment helps immensely. You have ambition, and this shouldn’t be hard to accomplish at university, and it will be a lot harder after university (as I have discovered). Make the best of it.

You might love the idea of having achieved great things, but don't really want to put the work into it. Perfectionism might also play its role.

Sometimes it can hurt quiet a bit being really honest with yourself, getting rid of the illusions.

Do you exercise? Even if you don't, do something that will just leave you completely physically exhausted. Run as far as you can, play a competitive game, ride a bike until you can't anymore. Just make sure you're so tired you fall asleep quickly tonight. You don't have to do this every day, but you need to go all out tonight. You're going to give your body a reset and mind a reboot this way.

The next day when you wake up remember that you made this decision the day before, and you have a whole new life in front of you. Say to yourself, "fuck yeah, this is awesome, I'm going to take control of my life again. I'm gonna be the person I know I'm meant to be."

After that, when it comes to work, set short goals and stick to them. Stay off social media. It could be "I'm working on this feature for an hour", and get it done. At minimum, try and get 1 thing done before lunch and one thing done after lunch.

When you get home for the day, I recommend another healthy dose of exercise just to get you to sleep again. After that it's basically wash, rinse, repeat except you start adding slightly bigger challenges and better habits into your life each day. Start adding healthier diet choices in, etc... Make sure you have a non-work hobby for pleasure to look forward to after work. If you really have to smoke (no judgment sometimes we need the escape from the rat race) then do it right after work (not before) and do some yoga or stretch or something instead of tv or video games. You'll feel rested, your body will exert some more energy, and you'll sleep better than if you smoked right before bed and you'll work better than if you smoked before work. As success piles up you'll lose the desire to smoke and you'll realize you don't need it.

The important thing to remember is you don't need to change everything at once, but if you need to break the cycle I've found that an intense physical use of the body is usually the best starting point for a reboot at any time in life.

You can change, you will change, you're still super young. I was in a similar boat at your age (31 now) and the post-college, starting workforce blues are a real thing. Took me some practice to get over it but it's worth it. Best of luck. Also this kind of post might be better for a reddit forum than HN, although generally the HN crowd gives better advice. :-)

I don't want to work 12 months a year just to have mad bucks, I also want free-time when I'm still young.

I could meal prep every Sunday for the week so I wouldn't eat crap later, but I also want to eat crap.

I want to get fit and healthy and muscular, but I also want to slack away.

I want to be successful and do many prestige projects so I get fame, but I also want to chill.

It's an individual choice to check what you want and what you are able to put in for it, you only have so much time/motivation etc.

In my case, I realised I had been self medicating for some mild pervasive anxiety without explicitly acknowledging it. Although smoking calms anxiety temporarily - it tends to exasperate it in the the longer term - creating a vicious cycle of excessive smoking for me. Once I started to take action on this underlying issue, smoking became far easier to quit. So, find the underlying issue, why do you feel the need to smoke so much? Lack of alternative activities? Loneliness? Mental health issues?

Hope my anecdote can help you out - my life is FAR better after investing the effort in quitting. You'll wish you had done it sooner, but do not underestimate the willpower it will likely take.

* It could be a person, i.e you smoke with your SO or with your best friends.

* It could be a situation/place, i.e you smoke when you sit on certain couch, chair or laying in bed at certain hour.

* It could be an action, i.e before/after I play video games I light it up.

Trying to avoid those triggers.

2. Show up everyday. When you get back your time, focus and ambition. Do something productive EVERY-SINGLE-DAY. Read CS/Programming Books, watch quality online courses, develop random side-projects (a blackjack game, an adventure text-based game, youtube clone).

I was on a similar spot; but with video games and gambling. After 4 years of showing up everyday, weekends, holidays you will become... pretty pretty competent. Even if you are not brilliant, as myself.

Goodluck

Don't make it hard for yourself and don't make more than 3 goals. That is the first step to change your unproductive situation.

I have no idea about smoking because I don't smoke. But, perhaps like other habits, you can find the root cause and your real motivations. What it gives you? What is the real reason behind it? Then try to change it with a good replacement that can give you the same benefits.

I gave up drinking at the end of October because I felt it was keeping me from some life goals.

I basically txt my sponsor once a day.

Making it through Thanksgiving was kind of tough, but it's all good.

With the mixture of determination and accountability I've put in place, I know I won't go back.

Another benefit, using your beer money to do fun stuff for your kids is an awesome feeling.

All of this boils down to building self-discipline.

A better strategy is to focus on developing habits that will bring more positivity into your life and as a result - weaken your bad habits. This will give you more mental power to deal with whatever shit that is making you unproductive, lazy and procrastinator.

Examples of habits that bring immediate positive effects are:

- movement. Not necessarily exercise. Could be also just taking a 5min stroll around the block after the morning shower. - gratitude practice. Take an actual paper notebook with a pen and each morning after having breakfast, write down 3 things you're grateful for, 3 things that will make today great and maybe some positive self-talk. - meditation. Some people find it hard, but the best solution for beginners is to use guided-meditation apps. Good and paid ones are Calm, Headspace. If you want free one - Insight Timer. Believe me, guided meditation can give you a perspective you are looking for. - improving your social circle. Just signup to some meetups on something that you always wanted to learn. Photography, carpentry, cooking, whatever. go out there and meet people who are already doing what you wish you were doing. This will positively affect your mindset and you might even want to model them. Just don't go to the super pro meetups, because you might be discouraged by their level and think 'I'll never get there' and other kind BS talk.

And look, I'm not even sure you're gonna read this. But I promise you, if you spend at least 3 minutes everyday, taking a small step towards where you want to be - the effects will compound and you'll find yourself at much better situation in a month. Forget about quick fixes, forget about end results. Focus about doing something small today, and then tomorrow.

Good luck brother.