Ask HN: How do you motivate yourself to keep working on a project?

252 points by SamWhited ↗ HN
I've been working on a small issue tracker for a few months, and it's been ready to release for a while, but I have one more hurdle that I just can't convince myself to overcome: billing. I hate working with the payment provider I've chosen (but they really do seem to be the easiest thing, others I've looked at are no better). I end up with horribly messy code from their terrible Go SDK, everyone says their documentation is great, but as far as I can tell there's a lot of it that all leaves out important information at every step, so I have to tease out how to deal with their million edge cases, etc. I've been putting off a billing rewrite for weeks now and not working towards an actual release; it's to the point where I'm questioning if I even want to be in this industry (although to be fair, I've been questioning that since before I got into software).

What do you do to keep yourself motivated? Especially when you hit something you hate to work on but is necessary.

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What do you do to keep yourself motivated? Especially when you hit something you hate to work on but is necessary.

I don't really know how to tell you anything useful on this. A lot of my motivation seems to just be an intrinsic part of my personality. I don't generally have a hard time being motivated. I just love the process and act of building things.

Of course there are times when I hit the "schlep"[1] stuff, which is not as enjoyable. How I grind through that is just by reminding myself that it's inevitable and necessary, and that all the other hard work I put in will be worthless if I don't get this unpleasant stuff done and complete the project.

Lastly, and to be completely honest... as much as I enjoy building for the sake of building, I do also have financial goals. There are things I want to do, see, experience, etc., that require more money. And I see the projects I work on as a path to potentially being more wealthy than I am today. So while you may accuse me of being shallow, I do occasionally pick up an issue of Top Gear magazine, or Motor Trend, or whatever, and look at the cars I'd love to own one day, and remind myself "this is one of the reasons I work hard, and grind through the schleps". Or maybe it's a travel guide to some exotic locale I'd like to visit, or whatever.

And while it's (apparently) "politically incorrect" in this day and age to have, and openly acknowledge, a desire to attain significant wealth, I posit that there's nothing wrong with a drive to gain wealth, and to use that as a form of motivation.

So yeah, my motivation is a mixture of both intrinsic and extrinsic, but it's really more the former. I'd love building software even if I didn't get paid for it at all, and even if I weren't trying to build something to sell.

[1]: http://www.paulgraham.com/schlep.html

If it's necessary then motivation is irrelevant. You don't have to be motivated, you have to work.

Your problem isn't motivation, it's not understanding that not all work is, or needs to be, pleasant, or intrinsically enjoyable.

Look at what your goal is: if the result isn't motivating, then the unpleasant work isn't the issue, rather your goal.

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Exactly. There is no work with only enjoyable and fun parts. It's called work after all. I embrace these parts of a project by remembering that I will learn the most not by having fun but by wading through shit that leaves marks.
This kind of attitude, diminishing of the person's feelings, isn't helping said person overcome their trouble with keeping working.

Not everyone's built with the kind of internal drive that makes you go for it without much hesitation. Some of us need a certain guidance, an understanding of the process.

In an ideal world, your message wouldn't even be mentioned. The one we're living in is far from ideal. We live in a complicated world, filled with norms, expectations, fears, desires, anxieties, and passions. Making sense of all that takes beyond picking the right goal.

I disagree. This doesn't "diminish the person's feelings", it's saying that feelings aren't always relevant. Not being motivated is part of life. If something must be done motivation (or its lack) doesn't matter. Sometimes the suck must be embraced, feelings be damned.
Usually I just write down the easiest possible tasks that I know I can get done, and if that fails, I ask colleagues and mentors for ideas. Ask yourself what's an easy way to get started? Do you need to use a small carrot to reward yourself? Can you do it at a certain time of day under certain conditions? Can you collaborate with someone else to do the things you really don't want to?
Are you in a position to delegate or outsource the tedious parts?
Is billing really important for your project? like can you release and iterate?

The biggest mistake I did when I was working on a reasonably bigger project is that I wanted all modules to be in there to Go Live, to the point I ended up fixing browser related bugs before I ship assuming users will hate the product if I don't.

I never ended up launching it and since then, I stuck to the real MVP, as in the smallest thing I could ship. This helped me launch 2 side projects and got insane confidence boost.

I wanted to answer with the same theme - don't wait to have billing perfected on all edge cases, focus on covering the normal cases and release. You can always go back and fix those edge cases later, if they even ever happen to you.

More in general, when you have a mountain that looks too high to conquer, set a partial goal that looks achievable and only focus on that one, without thinking about the end goal until you reach the partial one. This helps a lot in my experience.

For the first couple of customers just use Square / Stripe and do manual billing and invoicing.
I agree here, billing is not something I would put in an MVP. Odds are no one will sign up, or so few people will sign up that that billing code will just go to waste.

Bill manually for the first few customers.

I will second this. I recently replaced Google maps with Leaflet.js. And as soon as I had a beta ready, and I had updated sites with the new code, I found a better way to render the maps using Mapbox's own js libraries.

But it doesn't matter to anyone using it. They are just glad to be rid of Google maps, right now. If there's another small hurdle, they don't mind. And if I make improvements down the road, all the better.

You can always add the "convenience" of in-app billing later. A nice upgrade that will make your users happier. :)

Or, as I have often found, you may decide to _never_ put billing into your app. Why? Because you may learn that your users' are just fine with paying via your website instead. But you would only find this out by launching now, and talking with your clients.

Motivation is a personal topic but there seem to be certain themes. I can share mine. I have been a solo founder for a few months and this is something I am also facing every single day.

- Have something to be excited about. There is the rational reason to do something, but there is also something that is emotional and exciting about it. It could be about seeing your idea used by many people, or just the vision of building something real out there (which is mighty hard by itself). It could be even things that will happen later as a result of this project - may be it will open up new avenues for you to do other exciting things, live a different lifestyle, boost your confidence and so on. I call it the "emotional fingerprint" that we tend to get excited about. Identify the biggest 1-3 things that excite you greatly, even if they are really "embarrassing" to share with others. Keep them on the fore-front of your mind every day.

- Have a few people in your network or outside it who can care about either you or the project, and make sure you talk to them regularly. Your cheerleaders. Show them what you are doing, get their feedback, look for signals. It can feel like a waste of time as an engineer, but in my experience really helps me get outside my own head.

- See frustrations as learning. Think about the long haul. Is this just a one time project you're doing or do you want to be in it for the longer term, perhaps for multiple projects down the road? anything worthwhile you'll do will have frustrating or unexpected elements built in. How you deal with them also strengthens you for the long run.

One mental approach I apply is to treat each difficulty as a puzzle to be solved. Every time you solve one, you become better at solving similar puzzles in the future. It is tempting to want to know the answers in advance to everything. Forego that temptation and embrace "puzzle-solving" everyday to issues you have never encountered before. What I am implying is "gamifying" this whole process a little bit. If you have played frustrating puzzle games before, you can perhaps relate.

Just my 2 cents on this topic :)

yours is the startup founder version of Goethe's quote:

Every day we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words.

This always helped me: Baby steps over time walk a mile.

Just work on a something every day. It can be small or big it doesn't matter just make progress. Over time you will see how much you have accomplished.

Instead of thinking that you have to write the entire billing functionality, think I just need to get an API token from the server today, fix a typo or whatever... and if you aren't feeling motivated to continue after after the small task be done for the day.

License the core to a saas company to pay per seat and let them handle billing.

Personally, I like micro-rewards for getting little tasks done. Things like, spending some time on a side project after doing some house chores, or grabbing a brewski after doing taxes. Little things. It could help if it is compatible with your voice-in-head firmware.

How do you go about doing this (licensing the core to another company)? Do you call up SaaS companies in the phone book until the receptionist connects you with the VP of New Indie Product Acquisition?
I split time. I have things I like to do and things I have to do. I often keep a couple projects going at a time. I make a reasonable milestone and do the drudgery in the morning until I hit it (often midday, sometimes later, sometimes earlier), then I give myself the rest of the day for fun. This can be researching new tech, working on a project I actually enjoy, etc. I'm only worth a half-day of sucky work each day anyways, whether I self-motivate or languish, so might as well knock it out.
Yes, been there. A few times.

Payment processors are awful to work with... and it's sometimes tricky to test with.

They really do make you question your desire to remain on this planet, let alone continue to work on it!

I've found that more documentation they provide just adds to the confusion and contradictions. Sometimes contacting support helps... more often than not, they'll provide you with a key ingredient that isn't even in the documentation!

(failing that, for 1.0 just go for a Paypal button)

I should try contacting support; thanks. Some of the weird things I've run into are so poorly thought out that I can't believe they'd actually be an intentional part of their product. I've talked to some developers on their IRC channel, but typically (and this is something I strive as hard as possible not to do on my own projects), they were just so used to it that they couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't know how parts of the system worked even if it wasn't documented.
I've worked with quite a few payments platforms over my career. Most of them are terrible, but even the good ones require adopting their conceptual model. Sometimes that can require some adjustment, especially if you already have preconceived notions of how you want billing to work.

Example: I was dumbfounded that Stripe lets you update a balance, but offers no way to do it atomically. Support was clueless. However, on the IRC channel someone suggested creating invoices instead of bumping the balance, which in retrospect is a much better idea than maintaining the history in my database (although it ties me deeper to their system).

You really have to "bend like a reed" and conform to their patterns. And whatever you do, don't try to create an abstraction across multiple billing systems until after you've built up some expertise.

I think I am actually using it in the way it's meant to be used, is the sad thing. I can't quite get a good read on that from their developers though, so it's hard to tell.
Regarding payments I'd suggest you integrate with something that handles all the tax compliance responsibilities and invoicing for you. You can relatively easily do it yourself with a few weekends work, but it's not really worth it when you are just getting started (especially as you don't know if your business will take off).

I went the hard route and integrated Stripe from the get go, but am now planning to move to Paddle as the amount of work I have to do to enter invoices into my accountants system each month isn't worth it for what I'm making right now.

Paddle looks really nice actually; switching providers probably won't help with the motivation factor, and it looks like they don't provide HTTP API SDKs (that's a lot of acronyms, sorry) in any language, so it would be a bit more work to use, not to mention that it's a lot more expensive, but I wonder if it's worth it either way? You've got me curious, I'll have to look into it a bit. Thanks.
eww, that being said, their API appears to use exclusively POST requests for everything (even things where you're getting something) and puts auth in the body. I guess it's no big deal, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's harder with my HTTP library because I can't abstract away the post parameters as easily as I can headers (without doing unnecessary decoding then re-encoding them), but that's arguably a problem with my HTTP library, not Paddle. Still, feels different to everything else, which is odd.
Upon further investigation, nothing about their API is consistent or well done (and/or the docs are terrible and incomplete). I understand that this is a small company, but this level of inattention to detail is unacceptable. What are they doing with my customers financial data if they can't even get a simple API right? Even if I did decide to use them, the docs are so incomplete I'm not sure that I could actually build an integration without reverse engineering what half these values can be, or guessing at parameters that are used in examples but left out of the actual list (where a list even exists), etc.
I've drastically reduced the motivation required to complete projects.

I set daily goals at the start of the day, really small ones and then by the end of the day, I complete at least one of those goals and then that's it. It might take 20 minutes to an hour to add a bit of code that will go into the final feature.

Then I mark that I did that task and keep track of my "streak".

That's the thing that keeps me going. My streak is 13 days now, since the beginning of the year on my current project. I'm not going to break it now. It's less about the project and more about the streak.

I love it. Treat tasks like trying to beat my galaga score instead of like a mario stage to get to the end of.
This seems more like eating broccoli than keeping up motivation. If that's the case then it's better to force feed yourself. Clear your schedule, pick a day, go into your /etc/hosts and block every other site that you don't need in order to finish your rewrite, drink a cup of coffee and then don't leave your seat except to go to the bathroom. If the work spills into the next day then so be it but get it done in one session. There is no easy way around working with code you hate. Some people say use moderation and do it slowly but dealing with badly cooked broccoli sucks. Shove it down your throat and finish with a chaser.

If you want it badly enough then just force it. The rewrite should only happen once.

Discipline > motivation. There are lots of good texts about it, better than I can summarize. Google discipline vs motivation.
The resistance stage that you've hit is always a killer. It leaves more projects like yours dead before they're finished than anything else. The problem with replying to this, is the answer is subjective and will vary person to person. We all use different methods to motivate.

Sometimes I'll re-read a book. Masters of Doom is motivational for me as one example.

Sometimes I'll take a long'ish break (weeks) and teach myself something new just purely for fun. Experiment with something, that may or may not relate to the project. I divert my brain to an enjoyable stretch of time, a vacation, to prepare it for the final forced crunch of work.

I recently blew off a month and did almost nothing, when I could have completed what I'm working on. I got to the 85% finished line and hit hard resistance mentally. Some of that is feeling exhausted (it can feel like it sneaks up on you all at once), a lot of it is arriving at a large batch of work that I really don't enjoy doing. Combine those two and your brain puts on a yellow vest and begins protesting the longer you persist.

I've found that after taking a break, controlled anger is extremely effective as a helper for a final push over the line. That is, getting pissed off about the situation of having allowed myself to lose momentum and burn time rather than finishing something that is ~85-90% done and could have already been completed if I had simply maintained a steady momentum. I direct that anger in a focused manner as a big punch at the project that puts me over the remaining hurdle/s. It gets me into a mindset where I can just grit my teeth and dig through whatever shit I have to get done. Then the final 2-3% is usually just basic clean-up on loose ends or polish, truly trivial work.

Some might suggest that anger is always a negative. I strongly disagree with that. I think it's highly useful when channeled properly (never at others, and never in a serious self-harm form) and so long as it's not a common occurance during a project. It's critical to differentiate between using anger to overcome a self-challenge you're certain that you want to overcome, versus working on something you don't actually want to do. And to be clear, I'm not talking about rage or anything so dramatic. Rather, an internal expression of: damnit, fuck this, I'm going to finish it and nothing is going to stop me (except in my head it's all capitalized).

I always try to remind myself that the thing I'm building, I really, really want to see it live. I want to see it exist in the world, to see other people get value out of it. I set out on the journey for a reason.

Thanks for the advice; there's some really good stuff in here.
I've personally spent a lot of time examining my own motivation. I built a project called Deep Thought https://www.deepthoughtapp.com/en/keywords/motivation/

I have several techniques:

- Be kind to yourself

- Be comfortable with not finishing everything you need to do today

- Break down large tasks into smaller tasks

- I break down the small tasks using https://asana.com/

- Complete smaller tasks to gain motivation/momentum

- I try to use other smaller tasks (not related to the project) to build momentum

- Break up my day into time slices

  - Gym for 1 hour

  - Work for 1-2 hours

  - Lunch for 1 hour

  - Work for 1-2 hours

  - Some other activity for 1 hour
- I use my Apple Watch timer to trigger me to move along

- You can use a time tracking of sorts. I've been trying https://clockify.me/

  - I use tags to indicate what I'm doing:

    - Relax

    - Play

    - Planning

    - Research

    - Programming
- I set in my calendar times for

  - Breakfast

  - Reflection

  - Work

  - Gym

  - Social
The way you structure matches my weaknesses nicely (such as use momentum from smaller tasks), thanks for sharing.
If I were in your shoes (and I've been at this exact stage), I would manually bill until I had enough clients to worry about it.

You can do a half and half approach. Let the user know that they will be invoiced, and a representative will reach out to take their payment information. For example, if I was using Stripe (the payment processor I'm familiar with), I would setup my register button to just send me an email with data that I could then enter into Stripe manually, ie. name, email address, etc. I wouldn't include CC info in this because I wouldn't want to deal with compliance. Since you told them to expect a call and you're invoicing them you've got a good reason to call. If you go this route let the user use your product right away. The other cool thing about this approach is that you can also start to build a rapport with your clients, which pays dividends when you want to solicit feedback.

I find that motivation really spikes when you start seeing sales and money rolling in.

If you hate working with a specific provider, then don't. It doesn't matter if everyone else loves them if it isn't working for you. Go find someone you do like, that meets your requirements, and you will likely re-gain motivation in the process.
The problem is that as far as I can tell, they really are the easiest to use (it is Stripe, I didn't want to bash on them but I guess it's important if this veers into recommendations). I don't have a particularly complicated setup, but basically every little thing is impossible (just stupid stuff like if I cancel the last item on a subscription it will fail instead of canceling the subscription, so I always have to make an API call to check if the subscription only has one item, and if so cancel that, and if not cancel the specific item the user is dropping. It's insanely irritating the amount of weird little workarounds I have to do for oddities in the API, or where one API concept isn't consistent with another, etc.

If there's something out there that's simpler and has documentation that isn't constantly just wrong, I'd love to hear about it.

We have an "accountability group" that is amazingly powerful at addressing this, for people who are willing to admit they have issues with procrastination and motivation, and are committed to addressing it and helping others address it as well. This is mostly for the self-employed especially those that otherwise work mostly solo so they don't otherwise get a lot of external stimulus, which is essential to many people.

The only thing I've found that comes anywhere close to this is Adderall, and that has awful side effects.

I've been in several of these type of groups over the years, and they usually fail because people flake and no one calls them on it. I think we've finally gotten the formula right though. The main thing is that people who aren't doing their part will get a warning and get removed from the group if they don't take it to heart. We make it indirect....instead of calling someone on it directly, you tell someone else, and they address it with the person.

I could describe our whole system in more detail (there are a lot of little tweaks we've made), but the main thing that is important is that you have to think of it as a complex engine that needs fine tuning to keep "firing on all cylinders". Don't be shy about telling others what you need. But mostly, make sure that everyone is vigilant. If you flake on the tasks you are committing to, we can work with that. If you flake on monitoring others, you get a warning and if you keep doing it you are out.

One of the things we've found works well is to structure tasks so that getting started in the morning (or after a long break) is easy and -- if possible -- fun. That is, you never leave a task in a state where you have a long "warm up" period. Get it to a place where it is satisfying to work with before you put it down. This often means finishing up a major task, then starting a new one and just getting it going before you call it a day. And of course write some documentation (which could just be a todo list) before you stop work.

We're eventually planning on doing this in a bigger way (with a web app, etc), but for now we're open to bringing new people in if they are very VERY committed. Get in touch if you are interested (rjbrown at gmail). You need to be willing to use Skype video chat several times a day.

Would love to see a "whole system in more detail" write-up!
It's in the works, really! But right now I am on a schedule and don't have time to do something for public consumption. :)

However, I'll add a few things.

Optimum group size is about 7-10.

Everyone has a monitor, that is, a person who is holding them accountable. These get randomly switched out every two weeks. You never are monitoring your own monitor.

Every monitor has a manager. Again, switched out randomly every two weeks. Everyone will tend to be a monitor of one other person else, and a manager of another, at any given time.

There is one person who is overall manager, and that person keeps private tabs on everyone, including how people rate one another in terms of committing to their tasks and following through, monitoring others, and managing.

If a person feels that their monitor is not doing their job, they communicate privately to the manager. That person will step in and try to address it. Diplomacy is important. Don't be mean or insulting, but also don't tolerate flaking. Fix problems immediately.

Everyone checks in several times a day with their monitor, via one on one video chat. It is important to have a direct discussion. Monitors always need to be vigilant for "avoiders."

Monitors should attempt to understand the project the person is working on, and everyone should attempt to make their project presentable to their monitor.

If you say "this is too much effort and is taking time away from my actual tasks," you are probably not ready for a system like this. Those who need it will recognize the importance of spending the time. Always keep in mind, there is an alternative, a life of "working for The Man." This is better.

This seems like a very effective solution, thanks for the idea.
No problem. We're going to start a new group (and also do a web site and an app), maybe you'd like to join?
Who specifically is the “overall manager?” And how does working for the manager differ at all from working “for the man”?

I might wanna join

Currently I would probably be the overall manager for any that I'm involved in, but it could be anyone as long as they have the skills. And the manager is mostly just making sure the whole system keeps working well, while individual monitors (everyone is a monitor) are the ones most directly keeping people on task.

It sounds complicated, but it sort of takes the approach of "everything should be a simple as possible, but no simpler." It just has enough indirectness to make it much less susceptible to "death spirals."

It differs from working for "the man" because you still decide what projects you want to work on and so forth. You are working for yourself, but the system (manager/monitors) is helping you keep on task in ways you have already decided you want to do.

Really, the manager can be considered an agent of your long term interests (i.e. your desire to finish your projects and otherwise get things done), helping you defeat your short term interests (which might be your love of sleeping in, watching TV or playing video games, or whatever it is you do when you procrastinate).

Get in touch if you want to join. I've got a few people but we could use a few more. We are starting a new group since I've sort of spun off the old one

I might want to join as well! Lmk if there are open spots.
Fascinating. Thank you for the super considerate response !
Get married, buy a house, have kids. Then you know you have to finish your work because you are responsible for others.
I'm 22 with a spouse and newborn son. I have to say that this has done more for my emotional and professional development than anything else could have at this point in my life.

Knowing my son will indirectly inherit my own habits has me focusing a lot on my productivity and accountability.

Enjoy your son, he will grow so fast. Spend moments you have with him totally focused on him, not on how to teach him to be productive, at least not in his early years. Teach him to explore, be curious and to love life. Productivity will come.
This is why I wrote 'indirectly'

The most valuable thing I can give him is passion. It's not my responsibility to direct it towards a preferred venue, rather to expose him to the world in a safe way that allows him to explore what makes him happy.

Accountability and candidness allows people to trust in you and forms the foundation of good leadership. Productivity allows one to drive their efforts towards their passion into tangible product or work produced.

If he can create value and convince others that he is consistent in his beliefs, then it is my hope that the world will allow him to grow to his fullest potential.

It's my hope that by observation of some of these core values being actively expressed by my own actions, it will make it easier for him to adopt them as he matures.

That's a good motivator up to a point. With some luck you might be able to more or less secure your family's future. Some people may have grander ambitions.
Worst advise, period.
>Get married, buy a house, have kids. Then you know you have to finish your work because you are responsible for others.

That’s like shooting yourself in the leg because you want stronger arms, and putting yourself in a wheelchair will help with that.

You'd be surprised how great the motivation is when you have a kid. Especially the first years. And I was thinking just like you before taking this step.
Having children really changes you as an individual, especially as you start your family. Your priorities become different and I think both of you are correct in mentioning the motivation for providing and creating a safe environment for the family unit really arises in the individual, almost innately.
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This. For me, I changed completely. Things I used to find stressful became water on a duck's back. Things I thought were catastrophic became small. When you bond with your baby, whatever was the most important thing to you gets supplanted. It sounds like that would negatively impact your performance but my performance improved. I became more consistent, more reliable.

My boss knew me for years before the birth of my children and has a few more years after to compare. He tells me he witnessed no less than a transformation.

I feel like I could have 'timed' it better. I feel I could have saved more and all of that. But then I wouldn't be the type of person who cared about those things until I became a father.

If you have a new marriage, children and a house you will have zero time for side projects. If you do spend all your time on side projects - you'll probably lose the marriage, children and house...
Can you prove it? For starters, can you provide stats of "out of work" / "unemployed" people who are single vs have a family?
One day, you will be dead. Each year that passes after your death, fewer and fewer people will remember who you were, what you did or what your face looked like. Eventually, you'll be completely forgotten. Who cares if that side project you put out sucked or not. Might as well put it out there and see what people think. There's a good chance too that the project won't even be remembered even by the time you die.

The best way to get experience is to do things, so given that no one is going to remember, might as well try to do it. Your successes won't be remembered along with your failures.

I usually like to save my existential crises for later in the week, but thanks for helping me dive right into it on a Monday morning.
Its really not anything more than that silly yoda quote "do or do not there is no try".

Motivation/willpower is a very weak way to get things done, approach it instead with "I'll just write one line of code today/work on it for 15 minutes straight/document one thing/design one function". You'll likely find that once you start, you'll do more than you planned, the crux is almost always the start. You look at the entire body of work and think "its too much to do in one sitting", but ultimately thats your reptile brain talking you out of expending energy needlessly. So just use that little mind hack to get you out of your cognitive dissonance and started.

And if the prior posters statement gets you into an existential crisis, I'd start reading up on the stoics, buddhists, etc... Yes even if you're an atheist/whatever, accepting ones fate in the universe has no meaning is ultimately relieving. Or as a Shinto priest once told me: Life is a dance, dance to the music while it plays, you may not get another chance to dance!

> And if the prior posters statement gets you into an existential crisis, I'd start reading up on the stoics, buddhists, etc...

Not that it's not a good advice (I'm quite enjoying Meditations by Marcus Aurelius), but I'm fairly certain the above-poster said so in jest.

This comment made me burst out laughing. Well done sir.
Also laughed out loud at this. Thanks :)

It's also quite a freeing way of approaching a project - as long as I don't go to the extreme of not caring at all!

Reminds me of the "pale blue dot" perspective - when stressed visualise planet earth from further and further away.....

Along these lines, I always try to be purpose driven: I make software because I'm good at it and because it makes me money. I need that money to buy food and clothing for me and my wife and our kids and to pay for having a roof over our heads. If I were better at something else, or not good enough at software, I would use that skill to accomplish the same task for the same reason. Usually it is enjoyable and rewarding to solve problems using software. But it can often be stressful and difficult. That's part of any job though, they can all be stressful and difficult. Going to a different career path will not relieve you from stresses and difficulties, it will only change what they are. So instead, if you enjoy writing software and are good at it, just learn how to overcome these difficulties and stresses in a good and healthy way, and keep remembering that at the end of the day, you're probably doing it for a higher goal.
That line of thinking can also be quite demotivating. For instance, it could also be used to argue that since none of what I do matters anyway, I might as well spend it doing something else such as watching TV, playing video games, hiking in the forests, reading a good book, etc.
True, however, though you never know how what you do - no matter how small - will motivate others to something even greater in their lives. As pointless as it may seem - having the drive to progress helps others take on that mentality and move toward something greater as well!
The main thing to consider is which way of spending one's time will be more fulfilling in the long run.
> [...] since none of what I do matters anyway [...]

What makes you say that?

Is what you’re doing now worth doing only if people remember it after you die?

Sure. If that makes you happier, there's nothing wrong with that.
Not in this case. It directly relates to launching side projects without consideration for perfection which provides quick feedback.
I've been thinking about that lately.

A couple of months back, I went through an existential crisis. I couldn't find a universal, cosmological reason for being, and, therefore, for doing anything productive. I asked myself: to what end is ouputting effort, if none of it will ultimately matter?

It took me some time – and a Viktor Frankl quote – to get out of the rut. Yes, my life doesn't matter as far as the Sun is concerned, or the black holes that make up the center of our galaxy, or the dark matter, or the next grain of sand I'll encounter... So what?

I enjoy making things. I get a kick out of it. Whenever I'm not facing the dread of failing (an excessively-frightening event that's seriously up to no good), I'm giggly about making effort towards creating something I value. Could be a short story. Could be another element of web design. Could be a philosophical paragraph or two. I enjoy it.

At some point during the bleak week, I thought of killing myself. Why bother if none of it matters the least, right? Might as well not experience any of it.

And then it clicked: it's the same fear you experience when you face the prospect of asking for something and may be rejected as a result, amplified to encompass my whole existence. It's like asking the boy/girl out, but if I'm rejected, by whole being is at stake. Like I'm going to lose myself if I make the wrong move here.

"What the fuck? I'm gonna cancel my being subscription just 'cause I'm afraid to ask the life out? Fuck no!"

What I was left with is my passion, and the fear I'm facing. I didn't just not want to die: I wanted to live. I wanted to explore, to create, to love and be loved – all a consequence of the inner passion I was afraid to realize. Why would there be need for a higher reason when, down here, I'm all good for doing something good?

Most things you face are deeply circumstantial. Life as we know it is absurd. If you want to live, you might as well live without resorting to fear as your safety net.

I don't see why people say things like "Life as we know it is absurd". Because we die? Or.. I don't know. What would be a non-absurd life, then?! Absurd, compared to what? Just because some existentialists said life is absurd, doesn't make it so. (Maybe it was to do with the cultural loss of religion, God no longer there watching, giving life meaning - the creator of the universe caring a lot about you personally, eternal life etc. That plus WW2..)
We're born into presumptions. We grow up surrounded in presumptions. We live through a life full of presumptions. We die still surrounded by presumptions.

I think it's safe to say that most people act as if those presumptions are solid borders that one can't – "not allowed to" – cross. Behaving in a way that others see as silly, or out-of-place, or not based in reality challenges others' presumptions, and we're terrible in handling views that contradict ours, even if said behavior does no damage to the fabric of the society the "silly sod" is in. (Your comment's upset tone suggests as much.)

Imagine seeing a man dancing down the street. He doesn't disturb anyone, takes precautions to avoid colliding with people and things. He has no headphones on. What would you think of him? That he's crazy? mentally-ill, perhaps? unstable? Maybe he's drunk? high? under a different kind of influence?

He's just dancing down the street 'cause he feels like it. No one is hurt, yet so many are upset. Why? He's challenging the presumption that it's not okay to dance – or express joy so openly – in front of those uninvolved, in front of strangers.

Why do we presume so? I haven't the slightest clue. (I have an idea or two about why it could be beneficial – social coherence being one of them – but I don't see any ultimate cause for such a barrier.) Just because I might relate to how the majority would feel does not automatically confirm that my feelings are meaningful, in an existential way.

No, just 'cause someone told you something is something, doesn't mean it is. If so many people arrive to the same conclusion independently, however, it should say something about the validity of the state of things. I don't need people to tell me how to feel – but I feel similar to how they feel, maybe we're onto something.

A more productive venting for your frustration may be asking more insightful questions. Asking what the idea of "absurd" in "absurd life" derives from is a good start, but only as long as you seek to hear the answer, rather than have it disproven.

For what it's worth, I find that the reasons you state in the parethesis are of little relation to the reality of such views. They seemed, intuitively, to have paved the way for people's disillusionment, which probably sparked a whole lot of introspection and consideration. I don't think, however, that people never wondered the same questions before. (Might be wrong, but hasn't Marcus Aurelius famously expressed similar views in Meditations, at the time of Ancient Rome? I need to finish that book.)

As a matter of fact, I haven't seen a single philosopher denouncing existentialism in favor of the more "real" reality, for things matterring exactly as much as we value them. (I'd love to be proven wrong: that would be a marvellous read.)

Have you never felt like an unwritten rule in the society around you made no sense, regardless of how much pressure you received towards following it? George Carlin said, early in his career (paraphrased):

> Not running with scissors – that's a good rule! That's a rule I'd like to follow! These motherfuckers are sharp! Not singing at the table, on the other hand... What happened there? Some poor bastard sang badly at the table, and the rest of us have to suffer for it? What about singing while standing next to the table?¹

¹ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pgzWRVEqHY

The definition of "absurd", roughly, is "not following what is evidently true". You asking me what time it is and me replying "Chicken!" is absurd. So are so many of those presumptions we're born into, live through, and die with. I don't think it's because we die: I think it's ...

>A more productive venting for your frustration may be asking more insightful questions. Asking what the idea of "absurd" in "absurd life" derives from is a good start, but only as long as you seek to hear the answer, rather than have it disproven.

I didn't feel upset or frustrated, I regret giving that impression. Your 'tone' seems to me extremely arrogant, and it makes me want to not engage a moment longer with you. It sounds like you think already have all the answers. I'll let you talk with more 'insightful' people.

> It sounds like you think already have all the answers.

Not all, but the ones I have, I'm fairly confident in.

> I didn't feel upset or frustrated

> it makes me want to not engage a moment longer with you

I guess it's pointless to ask about the "?!?", then.

You wrote: "He's just dancing down the street 'cause he feels like it. No one is hurt, yet so many are upset. Why?"

Maybe people frown on that or treat the man awkwardly, because they see it as "weird", which subconsciously really means "unfamiliar/uncommon and unexplained, therefore the odds are increased of it being a threat to me or interfering with something that is familiar or desired to me." I think that happens a lot.

There is a story I read (which might have been in Covey's "7 Habits..." book), about a man with his very noisy, disruptive children on a subway train: the passengers seemed irritated, but when he explained to one passenger, that his wife and the children's mother had just died at the hospital, from which they were now returning home, and maybe they were all a little confused and out of their normal behavior. Then the perception of others suddenly changed from "control your kids" to "oh, how might I help?"

Which connects to the whole set of ideas about how we judge each other superficially, but sometimes there could be some reason for our doing so (our safety, or comfort levels with surprising behavior where we have no choice whether to be around it). I expect that is the source of many social norms. Another way to look at it is to consider that we might best not judge others too harshly, and we might be understanding, including to those who themselves judge others harshly, since in all those cases we don't know why they do it. (None of which is to say we should not have any boundaries while thinking about it.)

Various comments in this discussion are interesting. My belief in God and my choices and the specific, long-considered reasons around that are directly connected to why I feel peace and motivation even when things are very hard.

Are those "specific, long-considered reasons" revolve around your religious belief? If so, could you share them? I'm an atheist, and I'm looking to understand the mindset of people who are religious. It was never self-evident to me, and I'm curious why it may be to others.
Thanks for asking, I hope I am not too slow to reply.

The perhaps overly short version is: I have read and tested the Book of Mormon (a companion to the Bible) in the way it says to test it (http://www.mormon.org), and a lifetime of experiences when I followed what I felt inside that I knew was right ("knew" as in, I know I love my wife, or what salt tastes like, but can't necessarily prove or explain it to someone who doesn't want anything to do with it), vs. when I did not do what I knew I should, and the results I found from those choices. Those things together have solidly convinced me by now (with some time lost & hard consequences from learning the hard way at times, and real benefits when I learned the easy way). Life is still challenging, but that is part of the educational program I believe we signed up for, which is worthwhile, and the tools are there for dealing with the hard things.

About the Book of Mormon (and Bible): I have given them a lifetime of almost daily reading and contemplation (sometimes intelligently for me, sometimes not), plus have read some books and articles where people have commented in really fascinating ways about it (Daniel Peterson, Hugh Nibley, fairmormon.org which tries to answer critics, & others), as well as some anti-... material, and have thought about things from various angles ("what if it really...?"), and am satisfied that the debate is more for those who really like debate, while asking hard honest questions is a good thing because that is how we learn, and good things are there for those who seek, and I truly wish the best to all concerned, but ultimately, "proof" to satify everyone is always not going to happen in the way that they want it, and we have to seek according to our personal desires. The invitation from God to know for oneself, is there (as demonstrated by the Book of Mormon, its test, and many associated things).

There is much more detail; I'm happy to share more or try to answer specific questions, whether here, or by posting online some notes I already made but should probably reformat & clean up somewhat. One may also email me if desired (EDIT: at luke425 <symbol> lukecall.net). (From a practical standpoint, I might check this thread or my email somewhere between every few hours and every few days, but am happy to continue the conversation in that way, and after several blank days would assume this thread is complete. Suggestions always welcome. :)

Let me see if I understand you correctly...

Your conviction comes from the fact that you've read, almost daily, and contemplated over the Bible and the Book of Mormons, as well as read a good number of comments for and arguments against your position.

You also derive it from your life experiences, particularly those where you have either done or not done what you thought you were supposed to/felt good about doing.

Am I getting this right?

Were there any particular experiences or turning points when you may thought "Hm. Is that what my life is about?" or "Ah-ha! That is what I'm supposed to do!"?

That is a decent summary of what I wrote, but there is much missing. It deserves, and I want to give you, a better than off-the-cuff answer (mostly posted at my web site) but with my schedule in the next few days it might be Tuesday or Wednesday when I can post again here. (I don't remember how long these discussions allow follow-up posts, but my email noted earlier is a fallback.)
Made good progress. Looking like 1, maybe 2 more days.
Yes. One quick note: "Book of Mormon" (aka BoM or BofM) is singular: Mormon is the name of an ancient prophet/writer, not the name of our Church.

I posted material at http://lukecall.net (under "why I believe"), but the most direct answer to your questions might be at http://lukecall.net/e-9223372036854605861.html and pages to which it links. Honest questions & feedback are always welcome.

(The web site is generated from my note-taking program. It is intended to be very skimmable, where one can click on links if they are interesting, otherwise one doesn't see the details. There can always be more editing, but hopefully it is useful. Maybe in the future some levels should have a summary document of the contents, so you don't have to click around as much to read it in big chunks. Only part of the code to do that is written--to generate single-document outlines from my note-taking program, but not yet to include them in the web site.)

Some framed-on-the-wall level of motivation right here
Everyone dies.

"you live only as long as the last person who remembers you"

(comment deleted)
Not to sound depressing, but as I read this comment's first paragraph, a negative perspective was my initial thought, and not the positive aspect.

It's worth noting that a "YOLO" attitude can be used as a double-edged sword for motivation (e.g, "One day I will be dead, so there's no point in vying for success")

I guess that depends on what you mean by success. If nobody ever remembers my successes, if I never make "disrupt" any industry, if I never get to retire, if my works are never immortalized, even if all my software becomes obsolete one day when the SDKs that I'm using no longer exist (which has already happened a few times), as long as I can pay for my family's food by solving problems for other people, I will be satisfied.
Haha, that's the only thing keeping my depressed ass from killing myself. Gonna die anyway, no need to rush it, might as well do something. Not doing much, though.
I like to sum this sentiment up as:

"One day even Socrates will be forgotten."

I thought you were going to say: “Who cares if you build this project or not. Go out and enjoy life, as long as you can.” :P
I use modanifil.

Understand sometimes motivation is lost due to low level of dopamine feedback loop.

I tried to motivate myself by thinking about negative scenarios like loss of job due to low performance etc...but it made motivation worse.

You can take DRIs like Modanifil or Armodanifil to setup a stronger Dopamine feedback loop.

Some people have this naturally so they are lot more driven, focused and motivation..

Some people suffer from low level of these due to lifestyle, diet or genetic reasons.

So far it has helped me, some day I work 20hours+ and don't feel drag.

I found this idea very motivating indeed. It reminds me not to take myself very serious and just start doing things. In fact thanks to your comments I started a new daring project today that is really challenging. Who cares if I fail... Nothing will be remembered if I fail, and there's always a chance to succeed.
Unless you absolutely need to integrate with the payment provider, release it and work on the payment integration after that.

I've been in the same position. For me, if I'm working on a substantial project solo, one great source of motivation is when people are using it, giving me feedback, etc. So when you have actual usage, some momentum, it's (generally) easier to keep going. The more time goes by without actually releasing something, the easier it is to lose momentum.

Also, if you really don't like a provider, it's generally not worth your time to use them. You will end up spending some time maintaining in the future too and you will resent it, so probably better to find something that's good to work with.

Release it NOW with a 30 day trial. Once someone signs up you have 30 days to complete the billing integration.

Hopefully you're using Stripe (if you can) check it out if you haven't.

Also keep it simple in the beginning just handle the recurring payments, you can do cancellations, refunds manually in the beginning.

Tell yourself you’ll spend five minutes working on it. This tricks your brain into thinking it’s not a big pain commitment. Once you’ve spent five minutes immersed in it you’ll be more willing to keep working.

Another trick is to break down the task into as many subtasks as you can, and when you’re feeling obstinate about working, just get one small subtask done. It also helps you visualize the finiteness of the total pain you have to endure.

There’s basically no way to be intrinsically motivated about tedious, pointless-feeling work, but you can connect it causally to the overall success of your project, which presumably you do care about.

This is the 'it's too cold outside' runner's trick for motivation.

If it's very cold outside, you tell yourself 'if it's too cold after 10 minutes I'll come back in'. But you never come back in. It's a matter of getting started, nothing else.

We are funny creatures.

That never works for me: after 10 minutes of running, I'd be thinking things like "Is my 10 minute rule really meaningful if I don't REALLY allow myself to quit after 10 minutes? I should quit today just to reinforce to myself that the rule is really meaningful.". Then, next time I run I have exactly the same thought and the whole concept falls apart.
But the rule is "if it's too cold after 10 minutes I'll come back in." If it truly was too cold out, then you really can quit and come in after 10 minutes. But it typically isn't actually too cold to be out there and you're just using it being cold as an excuse to not go.
Is that just because you don't actually like running?

I used to always want to quit running ASAP, and the feeling just didn't go away whether I ran for five minutes or an hour. Fast forward some years, I'd gotten into cycling, enjoyed my rides and was in a much better physical condition. I also had a heart rate tracker and was used to training with heart rate zones. So one time I went for a run, first time in years, and tried to stay in the <60% HR zone. I started at my normal speed, realized my heart is racing, slowed down and eventually realized that even at my slowest possible running speed I'm going over my heart rate target. I had to settle for alternating between very slow running and walking to keep the exercise level light. Of course, after a couple of "runs" i could keep up better, but still running at any kind of speed is hard exercise for me.

I gather this is a common phenomenon, and most beginners run way too fast.

I use this exact method to get myself to workout when I am not feeling like it. I tell myself I will slack off and not really go hard today. ie. It's better to do a workout at 75% effort than skip it altogether. Inevitably, once I start I find myself working out as I normally would.
My method is if I show up at the gym I already succeeded and pat my own shoulder that I'm great. The workout itself seems easy compared to get up in the morning and drive there...
Good trick.

I keep a separate list of "dumb little things" to fix that don't require much thought or effort. I'll grab something from that list, which makes it easy to start; then once the editor is open I start getting into the zone.

Yes to that. There is this guy who once broke his leg climbing a big snowy mountain. He was alone and got to go back in the valley. But it could barely walk, was dehydrated and hungry. In very bad shape. What he did was looking ahead a couple hundred meters and telling himself "Ok, I just go there and stop". Once he got there, he was like "I might just go there and stop". He reaches the valley and got saved.
You don't need 'motivation' to put one foot after the next.

It's 99% 'perspiration', remember?

If you care about the outcome (whatever it is) then that should be enough 'motivation' to do the 99%. You're a professional, right?

If you want a 'purely motivational' project then do something that's simply that: games, writing/playing music, reading etc., where 'it doesn't matter'.

Instead of trying to 'find motivation', literally just sit down and start working out a little plan. Having a plan and a path forward might provide some clarity to the outcome, so you can 'see the light at the end'. I'll bet that you don't have trouble 'working on it' once you actually start 'working on it'.

It's like working out at the gym: once you are there, the workout is not so hard. It's just getting there that's sometimes tricky.

So just put one foot after the next with a little plan in mind and you'll be there in no time.

Great advice for industrial lifting robots. For actual living human beings, this is nowhere near the mark. Most people are terrible at self-motivation outside of traditional structures that keep them accountable. Many people even struggle to remain productive at the office since there's plenty of procrastination slack there too to hang yourself with.
There's a trick to this.

This only works for those who want to accept it. Some may find freedom in being elites, not being restrained by motivation.

But others may enjoy the thrill of the hunt. So being separated from the pain and thrill of the work is a big loss to them.

That's a really interesting point.

But if you're going to do something big, that takes quite some time, you're going to have to be the former, not the later.

Some things are not good for the adrenaline seekers.