Ask HN: How is your mental health?
How and how well do you keep track of your mental health, particularly for those with a history of mental health issues, and those with a family history of mental issues.
As for me I like to think that I try really hard to monitor my mental health, I suffer from anxiety disorder and my father and mother both had mental health issues at one point in their life, which makes me constantly fear for my mental health and hence my monitoring of my mental state of mind like a hulk.
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[ 2.7 ms ] story [ 225 ms ] threadMost small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you brain to just observe whats going on in your body instead of being an active participant in the process. You will immediately realize you start feeling less nervous. Similarly, you can try for anxiety.
For more serious problems, it is best to seek medical help on periodic basis. A meetup with doctor every 3 months is reasonable.
If you don’t want to believe all this , Id go with the following : Just like music, your attention is drawn towards the chant and hopefully stay there :)
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=meditation+sri+...
> Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness.
I think that what I do is, in the end, the same as you -- I just do it a little differently. Years ago, I developed a habit of questioning why I'm doing whatever I'm doing -- particularly if what I'm doing is unusual or emotional.
The key, for me, is that the question and answers are intended to bring light on things to make the unconscious conscious. The answer should be accepted as a point of information and without judgement (actually doing that is hard, though, and comes with practice).
Once you have an idea of what's happening with you, you are in a better position to notice and work on actual issues, if they exist.
In the shower, you can use the sound of the water or the feeling of the water on your head to anchor your mind. Since it's something you don't control and there are multiple sensory reactions created from it, it's pretty easy to be present and observe your thoughts.
This doesn't necessarily work for everyone but I have tried many types of meditations and this one is the easiest for me.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=meditation+sri+...
Of course its completely reasonable to feel exasperated and angry about things that are out off line with your value system. But knowing this is directly related to the distance between what is real in the world, and where your value is set, gives you enough information to work with.
Which really just means "do these things if you're struggling" is skipping the hardest step, and not very useful.
One meditation coach once told me a story of one of his clients who did a 20 minute guided session, and he went out of it with vomiting, diarrhea, and was really angry at the guy. But a few days later, he felt something clear up and asked for more sessions. He says it's normal, and with corporate counseling, he normally restricts them to 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15, 20, 30 for a week each.
Is it because a difference in terminology? On HN, meditation seems to mean 'relax and do nothing'. Elsewhere, it seems to mean 'concentrate on only one thing', which usually makes people recall traumatic situations.
Or does it come across as too prescriptive with little evidence to back it?
Mindfulness is what has been spreading, but usually it is intoduced as meditation.
I didn't downvote but I can't imagine someone vomiting by simple guided mindfulness exercise. Telling someone to "focus on your breathing" or "if you find your distracted by thoughts, just be aware of those thoughts, and return to your breathing" doesn't strike me as very invasive.
I do some good old-fashioned journaling by hand. There's never been software for this sort of thing that I liked, and it feels more cathartic to write it by hand than to type it out. It does get hard at times, admittedly, with things like a lackluster job searching experience, friends also having issues, and a host of other issues that you run into in life, but such is life. I'm just trying to do my best to get through it :) Actively making an effort to spend time around others definitely helps.
Look up ghostlighting, make adjustments.
I'm really not a morning person, and my lunch breaks are stretching long enough as it is.. that really leaves after work as the only passable time.
Hopefully someone more qualified than me will correct this/ let us know how widely applicable it is.
1. journaling for the feedback loop
2. meditation in times of stress or uncertainty
3. exercise, regularly
4. quality sleep, as close to 8 hours as I can manage
5. a mix of intentionally alone time and social time with others - time alone builds me up, but time with others maintains important relationships
You still die just as dead from diabetes, heart disease, suicide and cancer.
It's like telling people "If you're depressed, just be happy instead". If you could just stop thinking about it you would..
Some of you may not know but many tech companies, especially in the Bay Area, has mental healthcare benefits via their EAP (Employee Assistance Program). You should find out from your HR. The one I work for makes a point of making it super easy to find a therapist for the patient and the appointments can be done in person or over video. EAPs are generally free. Please use it if you feel like you need it and take care of yourselves. Don't try to shrug it off -- approach it like how you would with other forms of health care.
I'm so torn about this advice. It's probably OK in most companies, but there certainly are companies where informing your employer that you feel the need of mental health assistance would harm your work situation.
If possible, it might be better to find what resources are available without involving HR or your manager. That information may be in the packet of stuff you got during onboarding, or on the employee web site, etc.
I’m going to start by saying I have a mood disorder, and I don’t understand anxiety disorders because they’re part of a completely different world from mine. Conversations I’ve had with people that have anxiety disorders have reinforced this idea that I really don’t understand anxiety disorders or relate to them.
The worst parts for me are some times in the past several years when I have moved, changed jobs, changed relationships, and had relatives who passed away. To be clear, when I say “and”, I am talking about many of these things happening at the same time. Having strong relationships, having a therapist, and keeping a regular schedule mean the difference between seeing me as my usual self and seeing me disappear for a few weeks.
I have also decided never again to tell my manager any details about my condition. In the future it is an “unspecified, diagnosed disorder for which I am receiving professional treatment.” I was lulled into a false sense of security by having excellent managers at the beginning of my career and it turns out that I was very lucky; most managers are fairly mediocre and will do damage more often than not if you give them too many details about your mental health. Find somebody else to talk to about it—there are therapists, friends, and support groups e.g. on Facebook.
This is the most accurate answer in the thread.
> Having strong relationships, having a therapist, and keeping a regular schedule.
These are the things I'm actively working on. I'm only 6 months into working full time. It's monumentally difficult just to achieve those 3 things. I haven't worked an 8 hour day since training because I often feel drained and unproductive and end up just going home.
Right now, I'm doing CBT, and my therapist and I are focusing on ways for me to feel less drained at work. It's amazing how little things like taking 5 minute breaks and not eating at my desk have helped.
I feel like everyone I know who works in tech is either seeing a therapist or would benefit from one. If you can make it happen, try it.
I've done it before, but have been thinking about trying it again, but wanted to talk to others that have tried it.
It helps to talk about my life with someone intelligent who isn't involved in any way.
Gives me some new perspectives.
I'm kinda neurotic (probably normal for a millenial, haha), but it's often hard for me to see the good things in life.
Labels are better applied to food items than people.
It's important to note that you HAVE to want it. If you have any bit of doubt or skepticism, it will work against you.
Just accept it as someone looking to really help and it will help!
Citation very, very badly needed. Can't make the assertion that _everyone_ is screwed up in the head without evidence.
I don't have issues; I get I'm a single datapoint, but your assertion was essentially that everyone's got them. So now you can think of one. I've got a happy life and everything's going well for me and my family. Hiccups here-and-there, like everyone, but good overall.
First, keep (or reestablish) the routine you had while working. That is, get up at the time you used to, get ready for a workday as if you still worked there, and work.
You didn't really quit working, you just changed your job from whatever you did as a contractor to finding a replacement gig. So do that -- find another contract, find a permanent position, engage in skill-expanding or continuing education activities, and so forth. Anything that is a step in the direction you want to go.
Remember, the journey to success really is done one step at a time.
Weirdly after writing the original message, I had my first good day.
Apart from that, I take time to do things that are in no way related work so I go to the Cinema with non-IT people, I joined a cycling club where the only rules are that you're not allowed to talk shop or politics and we just trundle about talking about all sorts, what ever really.
Outside of that, I try and integrate exercise into my day so like, get off a bus stop early to work or cycle instead of talking the bus when it's not to cold or wet.
At the end of the week, I get off early to see my therapist and we just shoot the shit really and talk about all sorts, or sit in silence. I don't get the process, but it works whatever it is for the most part. As long as I'm not stressed, things generally aren't terrible, but they ain't always great either
> I write down important things that are nagging at me
Sounds like you buy it at least a bit.
Like maybe I should have been clearer with that specific sentiment because what I really have an issue with isn't the Hindu idea of mindfulness but with a company provided mindfulness program or say the hundred million dollar Headspace App mindfulness idea. I'd personally be deeply uncomfortable with giving that kind of deeply personal information over to anyone but my therapist who treat my data as health records and does everything on paper
The downside of this, of course, is that you are relying on physical security only. All of the data is plaintext.
I grew up poor and now I'm making more money than I ever imagined I could so I feel like I can't complain too much, but as soon as I hit the 1 year mark and am no longer obligated to pay back my signing/relocation bonus and fees associated with breaking my lease, I'm moving to be with my SO (if we make it to that point.) It's not worth it.
Why is your SO not coming to you?
a) Broke it off
b) Moved
c) Asked her to move in with me
I'm so glad I didn't have to make that choice. It would have crippled my career (leaving the city). I hope it works out for you and the relationship is worth any possible career damage.
Set some hard boundaries around work. It's a city where people overwork like it's a mark of virtue. Plus, since you're not planning to stay, you don't need to grind yourself to death to climb the corporate hierarchy.
Make time to talk to your SO almost every day. When I lived half a world away, I called each morning during the week since her wakeup time was shortly before my bedtime. From coast to coast is a little more awkward, but finding such a time (afternoon commute for her, after dinner for you or the like) is a powerful ritual.
Wishing the parent poster the best of luck with everything.
Hell, you're currently making about what I do after 10+ years of experience even taking cost of living into account (of course I stupidly never left Chicago). Use that salary to leverage a better trajectory than I ever got.
Assuming your love is on the west coast somewhere, you should be able to find something close to her that pays comparably well.
Just do your best to stick it out and keep looking. A year really isn't that long. I've hated my current job for the past two years but I'm still here (well I desperately need to leave, but it has some perks, like working remotely, and it's hard to find a new job when you're planning a wedding, which thankfully is done now). Having that job on your resume will help you negotiate down the line.
I was diagnosed 5 years ago with BPD, has gotten better over the years(mostly by just life exposure I guess), I still get huge situational flare-ups, stuff about work or family, but I no longer react like a cornered animal, even at my worst I realise "this thing sucks at an intensity of 8/10, most likely it will subside in a day or two if I go back on buspirone, and if not, I have benzodiazepines as backup, sleep aids and so on".
In the paste I've created text expansions for journaling forms I've wanted to use, then just dump them into the app I was using. Unfortunately I don't have those anymore.
"Daily disposition" -5 Maximum Depression .. +5 full blown Mania
Wakeup hour
Breakfast hour
Lunch hour
Active hours per day (work, school or other)
Number of people you interacted with that day
Physical activity in hours
Dinner hour
Sleep hour
Substance consumption(alcohool, tobacco, coffee, other)
Special events/ conflicts
Treatment