Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

1337 points by futur321 ↗ HN
I joined Google straight from college 6 years ago as a SWE, and by now I'm used to the style of work of "do the minimal work possible to do the job", I never challenge myself to deeply learn about what I'm doing, it's almost like I've been using only 10% of my mental capacity for work (the rest was on dating/dealing with breakups/dealing with depression/gaming/...). Even when I get a meaningful project, all I do is copy code from the internal codebase and patch things together until they work. I was promoted only once.

Now that I'm thinking of jumping ship to other interesting companies, I'm having serious doubts that I really learned what I should have learned during all those years. Especially since I'm considering companies with a higher hiring bar than Google.

How can I keep myself accountable while I'm still at the company to deeply learn the FE/BE technologies to be better prepared for other companies? Should I start by preparing a checklist of technologies and dive into each of them for a month and continue from there?

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> it's almost like I've been using only 10% of my mental capacity for work (the rest was on dating/dealing with breakups/dealing with depression/gaming/...)

I think that could give an indication of what might be wrong here, I can relate (somewhat!). I work for a top-flight tech firm, straight out of school, for about 5 years or so, and for a long time I felt just like that: I focused for a very long time on achieving the next goal - passing an exam, getting into University, getting that job, and not really focusing on what that was all for, not really focusing on my personal life etc. Once I got my job I was like “what is all of this for?”

So I changed tack, I rotated positions at my job, I tried to “live with purpose”, do something with a super-high impact, and not put myself under such relentless pressure to succeed. It may not feel like you have a super-high impact, but I’d say you do - the services you run help to improve literally millions of people’s lives. Try to think about it like that, instead of “I’m not living up to my potential”, think about the enormous impact you already have. If you just don’t find the work interesting, talk to your manager about the possibility of a secondment to another team.

I’d also advise that relationships are hard, and it is OK to feel miserable when they end. But one thing I only realised recently is that if your misery extends by more than a two months, it could be indicative that you need to see a doctor. Depression is a terrible condition that’s still (IMO unfairly) stigmatised and it’s often hard to disentangle from the rest of what goes on, but it is not a weakness to admit that we all need some help sometimes. If you need an impartial but sympathetic ear, you can find my email in my profile. Good luck! :D

Heartbreak often lasts longer than 2 months. It's not necessarily a medical condition though. Counseling can help, but also more time helps too.
> I work for a top-flight tech firm, straight out of school, for about 5 years or so, and for a long time I felt just like that:

Hah, I misread as "I work for top flight-sim firm" and though - aaaawww, I thought at least this kind of work would be fun.

Why name the company?
Context helps. It isn't a trivial datam. S/Google/Army/g the responses would vary wildly regarding the military industrial complex, impact of contributing to it, etc.
Why not? I think it adds context.
> Why name the company?

Especially that one. I'll bet they know, by now (maybe they already did, and don't care. Google is famous for leveraging their -and our- data).

I've found that many corporations are willing to settle for fairly mediocre work, as long as the processes are followed, and the cheese not moved. Having especially brilliant folks in place, means that if there is a problem, they have the bandwidth to deal with it. If I were your manager, I'd probably be pretty happy to have you there, but I'd also be worried that you weren't being challenged, and see if there was something I could do to challenge you, while improving my department's lot (I would probably do some kind of "20%" project).

TBH: Most work is fairly rote. R&D departments are usually pretty small. Production is about a predictable, low-variance workflow.

What I did, was work on some open-source stuff. Some of it has turned out to be quite impactful.

But I was fortunate. I had an employment contract that didn't have the "shower clause" (where they lay claim to the ideas that you come up with in the shower).

I strongly suspect that your contract has a "shower clause."

Depends on country in Anglo Saxon law (UK USA) its the norm.

And many European countries eg Germany just have it as part of the general labor law - so you wouldn't see it in a "contract"

So, just to be clear, if you are working for any corporation, in any job, the corporation has full rights to all your work, and all your ideas, by law?

This explains why Germans always seemed so surprised when I mentioned my extracurricular work to them.

Must make moonlighting difficult.

Also, I’m almost positive that the reason my company did not have the clause, was because they hired many high-level creative folks, with lifelong side businesses.

Its Related works eg if you are a semi pro musician your employer has no claim on any songs you write.
In the case of my company, their side-businesses were often the reason they were hired.

It was a photographic equipment company, and we had some really good photographers all over the place.

One of our lens techs was a well-respected avian photographer, and our Marketing department was filled with top-notch photographers.

You couldn't spit without hitting a first-class artist. Even the administrators and accountants tended to be pretty awesome casual photographers.

I think cruising along at Google is extremely different to cruising along as a minor regional tech company.

If you're at Google you're already clearly gifted and one of the leading people in your industry, and if you're cruising there then you're probably still doing absolutely stellar work.

I think people overestimate the proportion of equally talented engineers that don't apply to the FAANGs of the world for personal (geographic) reasons.
That's not quite what I argued though - I said if you're at Google then you're certainly extraordinarily talented and you're going to be a leader in your field. You may be that elsewhere of course, but you'd certainly be that at Google. I didn't say that if you weren't at Google you wouldn't be talented.
> one of the leading people in your industry

You may not recognize it, but this is a statistical distribution argument. :) It is assuming that there is a steep gradient between Google and "outside-of-google".

It is hard to prove that this is true regardless of the intentions of the statement or what was left unsaid.

If I were you, I would stay at Google but try a different type of SWE. Like switching to mobile or something.
If you can not only survive at Google but slack along well enough to get promoted once on "10% of your mental capacity" I'd stay right where you are. You aren't going to find a better place to earn money for equivalent effort and it sounds like you've already adapted to the ecosystem. Sounds like you need an interesting side project or just a meaningful hobby.

Don't go looking for the missing sense of fulfillment you have at work, either for Google or any other company. Crack some classic literature and take some long walks, figure out what you haven't been doing.

Second this.

Keep slacking at Google. Unless you're ridiculously underpaid -- with a six year tenure -- you're probably in the top 2% in terms of income. You've probably got refreshers that have inflated in value quite handsomely. You're not going to find a better yielding security than your job.

Find something better to do with your time. Figure out what your goals are. Whatever they are, you have the resources. Make it happen!

To add to this, at least for myself, there's a certain existential dread that came with being in a similar position.

When you don't have resources, you do have excuses. Oh, I can't do X, Y, and Z because I don't have the time or money or this or that.

Once you have enough money, there's a certain point where you run out of excuses. It's a little uncomfortable. But it's literally the best first world problem you can ask for.

Agreed. Most people are doing work, I would love to be able to coast on 10% and then be go build robots or something.
Terrible advice. The FAANGs are highly competitive and people are eventually going to notice that this individual is not at the average job level they should be at relative to their years at the company. That will eventually make internal transfers very difficult (yes, hiring managers do check for duds for internal transfers) and motivate their management chain to wash this person out of the company as good attrition.
Yea but that could take many months to years to happen. Keep milking it. They'll have a good financial cushion to find something else afterwards.
I won't say that's not a valid choice (I've seen it done) but if it comes down to that, the tarnished reputation is probably going to hurt them more than the money they get. This industry is not all that large at the FAANG level and the people who succeed or at least do moderately well at a FAANG tend to go on to senior positions at other companies. This person probably does not want a bunch of former co-workers around to say "Oh, that person; I remember them. A nice enough individual, I suppose, but no hire."

On top of that, the wash out process isn't likely to be all that pleasant, particularly if this person has depression problems already. Getting negative feedback and the cold shoulder from their colleagues for months/years is probably very demoralizing even if they are still drawing a big paycheck.

Nothing about the OP's provided context suggests they have 'depression problems', are getting negative feedback, or are about to wash out from Google.

They are simply asking for what they should be learning in order to be competitive in the job market.

> "Nothing about the OP's provided context suggests they have 'depression problems'..."

Really? "...(the rest was on dating/dealing with breakups/dealing with depression/gaming/...)..."

> "... are getting negative feedback, or are about to wash out from Google."

Those are the long-term consequences of his current state, as I stated quite clearly.

Maybe they are at the average job level but just aren't feeling challenged? They did get a promotion, so they can't be that bad... Maybe they're just bored? Either way, leaving a secure, good paying job is almost always bad advice, especially without a firm plan in place..
100% in agreement. One major risk you’ve accumulated by slacking is that you may not easily get another job if google does eventually push you out. Your next employer will say, tell us what you’ve done - specifically. At some point you either have pride and integrity as a person or you’re an asshole. Google might tolerate that now when you’re young but I think fewer and fewer others will as you age. It sounds like you have some time to make some changes in your life - I would recommend you start there before kids and other life events take priority.
While L4 is terminal at Google, it's still not particularly high achieving for 6 years of career. Google also doesn't make it easy to jump from L4 to L5 either, so OP may feel like they're stuck in a rut because of that as well.
One promotion means he is L4 minimum, which is now the level which Google no longer requires you to move up. As long as he is getting "meets expectations" with the occasional "exceeds" every three cycles or so, he will be able to coast at the big G for a long time.
Sure but how do you do that without becoming depressed or very angry? I know a few people who can.
I was responding to the idea that he couldn't coast very long without losing his job. He can without too much trouble.

Whether or not he finds meaning that way is a different question.

Strong disagree! I can't believe all the advice here telling you to stay in a situation where you don't feel challenged. Clearly you wouldn't have written the post if you were content with the status quo.

Find a role you thrive in, doing work that musters your enthusiasm. Whether it's at Google or elsewhere. Yes, it means giving up the cushy freeride, but there's no substitute for the deep sense of pride and satisfaction from solving a tough problem and building something you're passionate about.

I suppose this depends on whether you prefer to live to work or work to live. When I was younger I lived to work. Now I work to live. I've taken up backpacking, woodworking, and put a greater emphasis on my family life. If anyone is on the fence here, I definitely recommend working to live. If you can avoid misery at work, you're a lucky person, so do that if you can. But at the end of your life the odds you'll be most proud of selling a few more units of some software is very small.
This person is in the early stage of their career. Building the skills, network, and reputation necessary to carry them through the rest of their career while they are young and energetic _is_ working to live, particularly at a FAANG. Nobody wants to become a 50 year old with the skills and experience of a 30-year old.
If someone with the skills of a 30-year old can eek out a good comfortable living without much effort, what's wrong with wanting that? Most 50-somethings I know are doing basically what they were doing at 30.
If you want to have kids, time isn't on your side. Getting pregnant is harder later in life and it also introduces other risks like down syndrome.
This is a false dichotomy and just drives me up a wall. Why not get fulfillment in both the work and non-work areas of your life?
I couldn’t disagree more with this. A meaningful connection to your output is important, but most jobs are bullshit and won’t satisfy that need. Leaving a cushy job to pursue that is rarely a good idea. The grandparent post is right - get a hobby or find some way to volunteer and give back.
I agree with the first half of your reply and the overall sentiment that freeriding like this is just gonna leave you just further disappointed and dissatisfied in your life.

However, one thing i disagree with you and a lot of other similar replies on is that finding another more challenging job is the only way to solve it. Wouldn’t OP working on a side project or contributing to open source with all that free time he has solve the existential problems he is having just as well? Not even mentioning the fact that doing so sharpens his technical skills, adds projects to his resume, with the main difference (as opposed to working an intense job) being that he has way more freedom to choose what he wants to work on and how.

Doing capitalism better is the least interesting way to find fulfilment. Find a partner and build a family instead. Or find a hobby.

I know because my thoughts used to be very similar to yours.

I find that if I focus on improving one aspect of my life (e.g. health/fitness, hobbies, time with family, etc) then other aspects tend to become more satisfying as well. I think this is due to a general sense of accomplishment and the motivation from a “win” to refocus on improving in other areas.
But how many places do you feel challenged at? I've been unchallenged in my work for the majority of my career. The only time I remember mental challenge was in my first year. Now the challenge is unrealistic deadlines, or oh we've been outsourced again.

Finding a job that is challenging and mentally stimulating is very difficult. I know a number of people who echo this sentiment.

Employment is being paid to solve other people's business problems. Other people's business problems are rarely going to bring you passion and enthusiasm.

It's much more practical to find fulfilment outside of work.

I have no clue what working at FAANG is really like, but from the comments I read it is said to be very much an "up or out" culture. So I wonder how it is even possible to stay for six years with only one promotion and how long this is going to go well?
It's not. You need to get one promo from L3 (new hire) to L4, but once you're there and still hitting your OKRs (loose team targets), you pretty much set the pace.
Some of the advice is about expanding yourself, that's good advice.

Some of the advice is about how you milk your current position. You said 6 years in industry so I'll take that at face value. Without promotions I'm assuming you'll be working till retirement even at google. Even an early retirement at 55 or 60 is another 25-30 years of this. Unless you're a hero out of Dilbert fiction you won't be able to milk things that long for many reasons.

I'm an PE at an Amazon subsidiary so I end up getting involved with engineers and teams who are having issues a lot, so this is advice from what I've seen. I've also got a lot of mentees and all of them have hit lulls (short or long) in their careers. This can happen with high performers or career in role type people and those who decide software isnt' for them (managers and go do somthing elsers).

What I see often are people who think that they're treading water but to their managers and leads they're slowing degrading. Unless you are somehow objectively measuring your performance versus your past self this is very likely happening. Lowering motivation leads to slower work. Unless highly trusted, managers avoid giving critical work to unmotivated emplyees. And worst off I usually see people in your place turn salty / bitter / angry. Then things really start to go down hill.

The real enemy here is boredom. As yoda once said "Boredom leads to stagnation, stagnation leads to getting passed by, getting passed by leads to salt, salt leads to PIP."

So now you're 30, pissed at your current job, salty, and not sure what to do. Not a great place to be and it shows in interviews.

I have one friend who this happens to every few years. They get tired of their current projects and get frustrated. Then they stop caring and think they're doing OK. Then about 6 months to a year later they get the talk (pip, letting you go etc). By this point it's usually too late, salt and mistrust have built up and it's hard to break free. (Note: unless you have a manager who is very good at managing your carreer path, they won't notice this slide until year review time when it's likely to late). I have a deal with them now that whenever they feel bored they talk to me and we try and find a good new place for them.

There's nothing wrong with staying at a certain level forever at a company. Some people really like that and love the work life separation. You gain trust with managers and mostly you are able to build what is needed and go home at the end of the day. The deal here is to just make sure you a) aren't bored, and b) you are providing value to the manager/lead and they trust you, talk with them often, c) your company will allow you to stay at that level forever. The last one is a kicker, some companies will manage out people who say stay at SDE1 for more than 5 years as low potential.

I've dealt with others who were actually performing well for their previous role but had stopped growing. They were promoted into place so they would grow and fill the expanded role. After several years of that person (lead) coasting, the team wasn't in a great spot. I got called in to evaluate poor team performance. This ended up with the lead leaving the team and essentially down leveling.

What I'm saying is it can happen to anyone regardless of trajectory.

The fix, however, is hard. You need to find what motivates you. I can't answer that for you. This is the worst / most annoying advice I give my mentees, or hell my teenager. This is because you don't know what you don't know.

Some people find the fix is job hopping. This is a great way to stay well compensated and working on greenfield projects while in a up market. However it does make it quite hard to grow to a senior position as you don't stay long enough to build up those relationships, and is harder to do in a down market. You also take on the risk of the new position not bein...

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> Crack some classic literature and take some long walks, figure out what you haven't been doing.

I'll plug a great New Years Resolution I did last year (2019) that really helped me: The Harvard Classics.

https://www.myharvardclassics.com/categories/20120612_1

It's very old stuff (pre-WW1), but a fantastic guided dive into the Western Cannon. It was SOOO worth it to me at only ~15 minutes a day of reading. You can jump in at any time, readings are not connected. Today's (Jan 5) reading on Mazzini still sticks with me a year later. I didn't pay for it, I just downloaded all the volumes and read those, but I should have paid for it, it was that worth it to me in 2019.

Honestly, if I were you I'd just keep chugging along and collect as much money as possible. Start investing, and make yourself financially independent. After that, you can quit and do whatever you want.
You might be to harsh on yourself and what you have accomplished. Six years at Google is a great achievement in itself. Have you considered impostor syndrome?

Maybe do a side gig and build something that you find interesting, could be a game for kids, a dating app, a music app,...

I think everyone in the tech industry mentions imposter syndrome so much that it's either not the problem here, or OP has heard it so often that they're deaf to it.
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve been working at the same tech company for 6.5 years making around 500 (used to be 1.2 but my stock grant ran out). I only show up one day a week to have lunch with friends and do nothing. My advice is to keep the money flowing and do something else on the side.
This blows my mind. I make 120k as a young person in SWE, and I feel like a fraud often for making that money, and being able to work from basically anywhere I want in the world. How do you justify it to yourself? Do other things fulfill you? I’m already feeling pangs of doubt about my life, and I work more and earn less than you. I’m passing no judgement at all, I’m just curious about how that dynamic effects you and your life.
I don’t really care about stuff like that. I assume I’ll get laid off at some point, but I’ve made so much that I don’t really worry about it. It’s hard for big companies to find people who aren’t doing anything.
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Yeah this is crazy to me too. I don't work in software, I teach engineering at a local tech institute and I make like 55k Canadian. I'm fairly autonomous in that as long as I fulfill my class hours and workload I'm free to work from home and all that. I have a great work life balance and I love it but the pay is abysmally if I want to start a family in the future and save for retirement.

I've started getting into software development in my free time and planning for a career change but I feel as if I'd be trading my free time for more money. And if there's a kid on the way, what's more valuable to get from your dad? A dad that makes lots of money but isn't around much or a fad that is around a bunch but can't support you as well? Maybe real life isn't so cut and dry and I can find a happy medium between the two in software. Any advice?

30 year old dad of a 2 year old. I did software dev fulltime for 3 years then a consultant for the last 5. Having the flexibility to be at my kid's doctor appointments and go to the park on a weekday is cool. But I pay for it with either not getting things done or staying up way too late and killing myself. I'm just now starting a more traditional 9-5 schedule (still as a consultant) and I'm hoping that will translate into less stress with being able to work and be a parent and take care of myself. There's hopefully always a happy medium for anybody but it depends on what your priorities are. I definitely noticed a change in my childs behavior when I stopped spending every night in the basement working and learning. Even if it was only for 30 minutes at a time. But obviously my ability to be "in the zone" for hours after billing time was over changed too. But it matters to me, so that's why I do it.
I don't mind having a 9-5 as long as it means I definitely finish at 5 and don't have to take my work home with me. I guess it depends on the company and what their work life balance is.
As someone pointed out in this thread, a lot of this is strength of resume and where you went to college. Without that you’ll be pushing upstream. I don’t find my advice is very useful to people because they can’t replicate my situation.
is it a FAANG/unicorn?
It’s not but it’s a well known Silicon Valley company.
Not a FAANG/Unicorn? Seems like you might be a fairly early employee at a fairly successful private SV company?
Nope, but there was a stock increase that made my initial grant worth way more. There was no magic here. I was hired at a fairly established company, got a decent package and then sat around.
I think you're downplaying something here.

You got hired as a manger, so at the very least, you must have had a pretty prosperous and impressive background as an engineer for some time.

You might be cruising now, but snapshots of one's life are hardly the full story.

Oh sure that’s definitely true. I have a strong resume. At some point I just stopped having to do any work, and instead of trying to “fix” it I just went along with it. Another key element is there’s no way I’ll ever get promoted. I decided I don’t care. The difference between making 500 and 800 or whatever is sort of meaningless after taxes.
You don't have a boss who wants you to do x y or z?
I'd love to be in that position. I have a strong resume too, and I'm more than ready to be rewarded for it with a high paying job which I can more or less cruise in. So count your blessings!
What is your actual base salary?
300 plus bonus plus stock plus sundries like 401k match
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Wow what level or how did you manage this?
I don’t want to dox myself here. My level range should be obvious from my salary. I’m a manager not an IC. Yes everyone on my team knows what’s up.
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Ah, so you're probably one of those overpaid non-managers that everyone hates... We have a bunch of those, they avoid work and responsibility like the plague, and in result the project is in severe leadership crisis.
How did you get to $15m? 500k per year x 7 years into index ETFs is still like $8m ish
It's sad and revealing to see the other comments here. Many of them say, don't seek fulfillment in your job, just keep on cruising. What a change from the exciting atmosphere of the 2000s. Seems like software engineering has become a safe, dull career nowadays. Don't listen to them. Your 20s are the time to learn, push yourself and discover who you are. Autopilot is for middle age.
A welcome change from the exciting atmosphere of exploiting young brains and sucking the marrow out of others' 20's?
I think many of the folks here agree with your latter point, that the point OP is at in his or her life is one for experimentation and discovery. I think they’re saying this is easier when you can pull in fat, fat stacks with little effort. Fulfillment probably won’t come from working at Google, so use the security it affords to find out where it _can_ come from.
People aren't advocating that OP should stop learning (although there is nothing wrong with Software Engineering being a safe, predictable career for some people). They're advocating that OP should focus on learning things outside of work.

A lot of exciting opportunities open up when you don't need to care about money. You can do experimental, innovative stuff just because it's worth doing, and not just because a VC investor wants another cash-out.

Although, given Google's policies towards employee IP, that alone might be a reason to look for another company to work at -- keeping in mind that you almost certainly will be accepting a drop in pay if you leave.

being poor is bad, but being cushy is demotivating. “Experimental, innovative stuff” requires a certain level of hunger, or disregard for money. In both cases this person should seek elsewhere.
You will have a hard time finding a tech employer that doesn't have a restrictive IP clause.
Maybe at large companies, but at small companies in California, this has not been my experience. Plenty of employers realize that programmers tend to program on the side, and as long as you don't use company hardware or facilities, they claim no ownership of your IP.
This hasn't been my experience. My current employer doesn't have a clause like this, and although they wouldn't have needed to, they also in-writing cleared my side-projects when I joined, even commercial ones.
Autopilot is for middle age? That's a pretty terrible thing to say. My 20s were a total waste. Now, mature and sorta burned out on nonsense distractions, I'm on fire.
Yeah, I agree here. I can't imagine going on autopilot even decades and decades from now as I hit 80. The point is to drive to learn AND create always gives you opportunity.
I agree with most of your statements. However, I don’t believe you should ever auto pilot. Life is about constantly, and consistently challenging yourself. Auto pilot, at any age, are for duds. Why auto pilot during middle age? I’d argue that you have acquired so much wisdom, leading into your middle age. Why stop the momentum. Use all your wisdom ALWAYS! :)
I have read that certain earth beings sometimes replicate themselves, and navigating the needy replicants needs & wants requires rejiggering how much life is spent where.
No, most comments say to find fulfillment through personal projects/hobbies.

Work is work; it doesn't necessarily have to be the most satisfying or fulfilling experience ever. That's always going to be the case if you're working for someone else. Earning a boatload of money (and saving it) to retire early isn't anything to scoff at.

This also assumes one can find a more fulfilling job elsewhere (with ideal compensation). Which is just that, an assumption. If, and only if, such a job were lined up, then it might be time to move on.

We spend a LOT of time at work. It's ridiculous not to seek fulfillment at work as well as elsewhere.

Edit: I think maybe I didn't communicate well. I just mean that being fulfilled at work can be _very_ significant because work is such a huge part of our lives whether we like it or not. And so not _seeking_ fulfillment in work can be a huge blind spot.

I didn't mean to imply it should be prioritized above all else, or that it's shameful not to have the luxury to achieve this to a high degree, as the OP presumably does.

Very few people have that luxury. The career path for your average software dev in Silicon Valley does not have a lot of interesting work involved -- it's a bunch of middleware stuff like parsing data, CRUD operations and updating documentation. It's the 21st century version of being an auto mechanic -- super interesting at first, but there's a definite ceiling on the knowledge.

There is only so much interesting work to go around, and you're usually not going to be doing it. You can seek fulfillment at work, but you also have to be prepared not to find it. Seeking fulfillment elsewhere is the secret to not burning out.

In an Ideal World, sure.

The Reality that most people live in is that we need money to pay the rent, like right about now. This limits the opportunities available to us because we simply cannot wait to find a fulfilling and justly compensated job.

I simply will not work for low(er) income just to satisfy my need for fulfillment (at work). You know what's better than that? Financial security. Retiring Early. Owning my own house instead of renting.

I would rather get paid a lot of money and not really work on very interesting things, if that meant I could retire a lot earlier and then do whatever I wanted for the rest of my life.

When work ends for the day, I work on my personal & open source projects, or engage in other intellectually stimulating activities like learning a language, etc.

I think the only exception at this point would be me taking slightly lower pay if it meant living and working comfortably abroad, because I want to live abroad for an extended amount of time, personally, so that tradeoff would be fine for me. In all likeliness that's going to be exactly what I do after I own my own house (at 26yo), and work under my own consulting business.

why would you want to own a house in your home country if you're working abroad?
Security. Because you don’t plan to stay abroad forever and your house will still be there for you when you come back, whether permanently or on holiday.
Software engineering just isn't that hard. Tedious yes, but not remotely difficult. We've been fed the narrative of economic success that many folks have forgotten what personal success looks like. You can be successful in your career and still feel like a failure.

Therapy is the answer here. You have to un-brainwash yourself from the notion that your job is your life and figure out what really matters to you. Then focus on that, and use your job to fill the boring hours in between.

I agree that you need to push yourself and discover who you are -- but the answers to those questions aren't going to be found at work. This sort of mid-life crisis is pretty common for career-focused people in their late 20s - early 30s and the solution is to find interests and friendships outside of work.

Software engineering just isn't that hard. Tedious yes, but not remotely difficult.

Come back and say this after you’ve had to fix concurrency bugs or had to maintain some overseas contractor’s terrible codebase with no documentation.

I have; I was a software engineer for over a decade before I moved up through architecture and laterally into product. Those problems are tedious. Not difficult.
While I agree that there are parts of software engineering that are merely 'tedious' rather than 'hard', there are definitely parts that are legitimately 'hard' too. Just because you've had a particular set of experiences that you've classified as tedious doesn't mean your perspective represents the totality of the industry.
The problem here is that 'hard' is dimensionless and relative. There are people in Australia right now storming the gates of hell with a shovel and a hose because that's the job they signed up for. If that type of work is on the spectrum, I can't really think of anything in software/systems engineering that's 'hard'.
That sounds more like courage to me. Many of those shovel and hose carrying people would not make very successful software developers from my experience.

It takes a certain kind of mindset; attention to detail and an ability to visualize and work at high levels of abstraction.

To do it well, that is. Copy-pasting framework cruft until it sort of works is simply boring and the world would be a better place if we stopped doing that.

Hard as in unpleasant, obviously not. Hard as in mentally challenging, obviously yes.
10 years ago everything was tedious but possible because you had full control. Now it's super easy until impossible/difficult.
> Now it's super easy until impossible/difficult.

That's interesting, I've never thought of it this way. I'm bored out of my mind at work more often than not due to not having full access to a monolith where it's actually possible to understand/work on the whole thing. Instead, I have to work until I hit a black box/3rd party and I have to either work around it or knock on the black box and ask the proprietors for help. I know that's a generalization, but it's a real cost of componentization of everything into services and the like, at least in the web world. It's _super_ fucking easy to get like 95% to a solution to almost anything on the web, but that last 5% where you spend the most time is like a constant root-canal.

Both of those sound tedious, neither of them sound particularly hard.
Would it qualify if time was a factor?

I think you could almost say: if those things aren't hard you are working to slow and if you are bored you could benefit by raising your own expectations for yourself?

Do those once and you’ve done them a hundred times.

Vast majority of software engineering is tedious and boring. Almost no developing cutting edge optimal algorithms. Occasionally interesting design/architecture problems but the majority of the time spent on those is on writing docs, consensus building/communication, and implementation. It’s hard to find the motivation and force yourself to spend week after week chasing down bugs through poorly written code, but almost no task itself is challenging.

Software engineering can be hard and it can be tedious, either or neither... I think it's what you make of it. That's one of the most entrancing things about it to me. It's one of the few jobs that's truly "choose your own adventure". There's a thousand ways to solve every problem and you get to decide the difficulty at every turn.
This is the sinister part to me, that the right way is so hard to find, if it even exists. Try something -> get error -> fix error -> working might be ok for most uses, but this probably isn't going to yield the best way of doing things.

It's the equivalent of building a bridge, watching it fall apart, then figuring out how to artfully tie a rope around the bridge to keep it upright, rather than just designing a bridge that can stand on it's own. Most practical knowledge is therefore about artfully wrapping different ropes in clever ways around various problems, rather than fundamental theory on how to build the best design.

As a result of these thoughts, I doubt my code, I doubt everyone's code, and I've lost that naive optimism about technology. Good enough is good enough to ship, after all.

Humanity has built a /lot/ of bridges that have fallen apart before we were able to learn how to do it correctly. It’s sometimes easy to forget just how young the software industry is.
How do you figure out what really matters?
It's a process. There is no manual, but some have found therapy helpful.
Everyone spends their whole lives trying to answer that.
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> Therapy is the answer here. You have to un-brainwash yourself from the notion that your job is your life and figure out what really matters to you. Then focus on that, and use your job to fill the boring hours in between.

You’re going to spend more time at work than doing almost anything else during those years of your life where you work. Why not do something meaningful with those hours if you can? And if OP can get a job at Google they almost certainly can.

What percentage of software engineers are doing "something meaningful"? That seems like a small number, no?

Contrast with teachers, doctors, nurses, social workers, etc., almost all of whom I think would say they do something meaningful.

I’ve been a teacher. It’s basically just a job. If you want meaning have your own children.

I have no idea what proportion of software engineers consider what they do meaningful but the team who work on Google Scholar have done a great deal for me and I’m not even an academic. The drivers at Uber and Lyft and their riders have almost all had their lives improved by their existence. Amazon has made the experience of buying books so much better it’s ridiculous. Lambda School is taking 1000s of people from basically useless as programmers to a new career. Those are all pretty meaningful, at least as meaningful as your list, which seems be about displaying caring as much as actually effecting people’s lives.

If you build something people want and it isn’t harmful you’re having an effect.

I'm not sure I agree that Amazon has done meaningful work in the world of books. They've crippled the book industry. They've ran a ton of brick and mortar bookstores out of business, which has effectively destroyed community centers. There are other alternatives to Amazon that have "made the experience of buying books so much easier". Visit powells.com or alibris.com.

And what they've done to the publishing industry is a whole nother beast.

Likewise for Lyft and Uber; they just haven't fully collapsed yet -- but give them another 2 years. There will be a smoking pit in the short-range transit market because it costs at least twice what riders pay today just to keep the drivers making the same amount when the VC subsidies go away, and nobody is willing to pay that. You're already starting to see the subsidies dry up with food delivery services where there's an additional $15-20 in fees.

The next recession is going to be a bloodbath for a lot of low-income people when the demand for the gig economy dries up.

> They've ran a ton of brick and mortar bookstores out of business, which has effectively destroyed community centers.

Can you really blame Amazon for destroying community centers because they put bookstores out of business?

Bookstores aren't the only viable community center, after all. Most cities and counties have a public library that's supposed to exist for the community's benefit. Additionally, in rural parts of the US, the only real community center you used to find was a church, not a library or a bookstore.

Personally speaking, my community centers exist on Signal, WhatsApp, IRC, Mastodon, Slack, Twitter, Telegram, and Facebook. (And I neglect half of those entirely.) I don't see any need to have a physical watering hole.

I guess it depends on the place, honestly. The best communities I've been a part of -- in my short existence -- revolved around bookstores. Maybe that's subjective, but I can also argue that Signal, WhatsApp, etc aren't the only viable community centers.

Also, I'm from rural US, and those places do revolve around churches, but the pockets of enlightenment revolve around bookstores. IMO, a healthy community has a strong group of intellectuals. Intellectuals tend to gravitate to bookstores.

And yes, you can definitely blame Amazon for putting bookstores out of business. I'm too lazy to find stats to support that, but there is definitely evidence that Amazon is to blame.

And sure, libraries are for the community's benefit in an ideal world, but I'm talking about the real world.

I never disputed the premise anyway. Just that the conclusion doesn't follow from it.

If communities die when bookstores die, sure, you can blame that on what killed the bookstore. But regardless of blame, whose responsibility is it to ensure communities continue? (This isn't the same thing as blame.)

My point isn't "bookstores are the wrong answer". My point is "bookstores aren't the only correct answer". Diversify.

Yeah. I'd agree with that. I also think you, CiPHPerCoder, should implant yourself in a local bookstore and maybe you'll see what I'm talking about :)
There isn't one within 20 miles of my house, so I think I'll pass on that. :P
The meaning is what you define and draw from. Even the job of driving a garbage truck has a meaning. Software is no different - short of doing something actively harmful or you are morally against, you can find a meaning in any job. It may not satisfy your ambition or ego, but that's a different problem that finding a meaning.
All of those you list as doing something meaningful can multiply their efforts if only there's a good software developer upstream from them.

Software developers invent the tools and environments that enable other people to do more efficient work. Sometimes it enables entire classes of meaning work that weren't possible before. How can that not be meaningful?

For better or worse, everything is driven by software these days. All work is, directly or indirectly, powered by software. Being in software is like the most meaningful thing you can do.

Many jobs in our society enable others to do efficient work. From the bus drivers that get Google employees to work to the teachers that work 60 hour days educating future doctors and lawyers--it's hard to say that engineers are particularly special in this regard.
Teachers do not work 60 hours a week. Bureau of Labor Statistics time use studies find that the only age group of teachers that work more than forty hours a week are those over 50.

https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2008/03/art4full.pdf

It looks like those statistics have summer months included. That changes things from "60 hour work weeks when school is in session" to "60 hour work weeks amortized over a year".

In addition that study notes that teachers are more likely to work a second job, something a Google engineer wouldn't need to do to make a decent wage.

Sorry for coming across as implying we're special! I have to learn to watch my hyperbole. While I do value teaching highly on the meaningfulness scale[1], I don't think driving compares just as well with the mathematical argument that the effort expanded/effort saved is constant given the number of passengers you take (which in turn is practically bounded to small-ish n), whereas for software engineering that measure scales entirely differently.

[1]: If anything, I think teaching is more meaningful, using the same argument: do software engineering and you can do one human's job of software engineering. Teach 10 software engineers and you are by extension doing software engineering as 10 humans.

On a side note: if anyone here hasn't tried tutoring/teaching natural sciences/programming in a one-on-one setting or very small group, I seriously recommend it. It's surprisingly similar to software engineering; in many ways, it's wetware engineering! You get to debug the logic in people's brains as they work through problems.

I think you absolutely can find meaning at work, but it cannot replace the meaning you find outside of work. You can tolerate doing a meaningless job if you have other things in your life to sustain you, but you can't guarantee your work will always be meaningful. Finding meaning outside work is resiliency.
> Software engineering just isn't that hard

1) I agree that this is often true! Code can be pretty boring. That doesn’t mean there are no interesting problems that you can tackle with programming. It just means most people work on incredibly boring stuff and think that’s all there is and totally fine. Find something that’s a better use of your time.

2) There is more and less difficult software engineering. If yours is really boring why wouldn’t you try something more challenging? It doesn’t always pay as well but it can be a lot less terrible to experience on a daily basis.

3) Most of the hardest problems in making interesting technology that touches the world isn’t in exactly how the code is written. Learning this is the first step towards starting to be equipped to tackle the actually hard problems in our field. Which you could work on directly, if you wanted.

None of this is to say that anyone has to do this. You don’t have to have fulfillment in your job. Though you and most others should frankly probably look around and make sure the code you’re writing is doing actually good things in the world rather than bad ones, that’s an ethical obligation but one that is pretty orthogonal whether or not you’re working on interesting problems. (If people optimize solely for money though, they bend towards writing code that makes that empowers companies over people and generally makes the world a worst place. People have a responsibility to evaluate this and try and avoid the ones that don’t.)

Mostly: it’s fine to make the choice to not work on something fulfilling. But stating that there’s nothing fulfilling to work on in this world is just nonsense, defeatist and mostly means you’ve resigned yourself and everyone who takes your advice to unfulfilling, boring and miserable work that doesn’t grow you worth a damn.

And that probably sucks. So why take that approach?

If you want to do this, and you can consistently find interesting work, then go for it! What I mean by "these jobs aren't hard" is that one person is easy to replace, and you are not guaranteed a job in the future just because you have one now. There are always high periods and low periods in a person's career, and you have to mentally / emotionally prepare for those.

Tech has a nasty age bias once you hit 40, and I've seen people fall apart when they get laid off and finding a new job is hard for reasons that aren't exactly fair. Finding meaning in your life outside your job is how you keep sane when economic circumstances aren't working in your favor.

I’ve never had much trouble finding an interesting thing to spend my work time on. The biggest problem is usually deciding when to look for something new and what I want to do next. Getting the opportunity to do that usually comes quickly from there, even if it’s not always the pathway I expected. :) I’ll admit I’ve got advantages that maybe everyone doesn’t have (a deep set of experience from a variety of areas organizations value) but I firmly believe that the world and our field would be a better place if more people fought for meaning in their work and didn’t accept roles where they weren’t finding it.

(Also like, to be clear these roles aren’t all high paying if you’ve adjusted your life so that without 300k/yr you can’t function then like, I agree you have boxed yourself into a harder corner. That said, I currently have found a combination that is both impactful and lucrative. So that’s super cool when it works out. I am desperately trying to structure my life so I’m not boxed into needing this to be true in the future because meaning in my work is still more important to me than money from my work.)

I mean this in the nicest way possible (I envy your optimism!), but I'm curious how long you've been working as the last 12 years have been an exceptionally good period in tech. My career started in the middle of the dot-com era in the late 90s, so I've been through a few cycles where finding engineering work was hard and people who had crappy jobs were grateful for the income. Those experiences dulled my optimism about the meaningfulness work -- I spent a year in the early 2000s eating ramen and freelancing websites in PHP because I couldn't find a "real" job after the startup I worked for that was going to save the world went bust. Maybe I'm just a cynical old lady at this point, but I do feel emotionally well-prepared for whatever happens next.
I was still in school during the big crash, so you’re right, my experience may be colored by that. But I keep a pad that essentially allows me to be completely without income for at least 6 months without withdrawing from any accounts which incur penalties or are tied to stock market performance. I’ve done freelancing and could spin that back up. It would be harder to land contracts during a rough economy but often people who just fired their staff need short term contracts to keep the lights on and so there’s usually opportunities for something...

You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to cobble together work during a downturn like that if I were to lose my primary job and be unable to find another. I would likely take the most fulfilling work I could find. Then when times were good I’d resume more fulfilling work. Just like I’ve done through out the time I’ve been in the field so far.

Given that we have been in a 12 year period of one of the largest tech expansions in the history of our industry, I don’t see why it makes any sense to argue that people shouldn’t be seeking fulfilling work now.

It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of who you are and what you want, so I doubt you would have a problem finding meaning in your life even if you hated your job. You're probably not destined for a mid-life crisis like this, and it's not universal by any means.

But there are a lot of folks like OP who were focused hard on getting a job at Google and making boatloads of money and never took the time to figure out what they wanted in life besides a high paying job. For people in that position, I would say keep the unfulfilling job, let it be unfulfilling until you know what drives you, and figure out what you want in life. Then you'll be in a position to decide whether to seek meaning at work or not. I personally chose to find it outside of work, which has made the career bumps a lot easier to handle because my identity isn't wrapped up in my job.

> Therapy is the answer here. You have to un-brainwash yourself from the notion that your job is your life

Yeah, but where is the guarantee that therapy really un-brainwashes instead of re-brainwashing you to just be content with a comfortable middle-class lifestyle. I guess it is a totally rational strategy if you want to maximize happiness (whatever that means) but it still feels like a cop-out.

It's a cop out to try and find a way to be happy regardless of your circumstance in life? What standards for life is that?
> Software engineering just isn't that hard.

Surely that depends on the problem being solved, right? Some problems are harder than others. The variety of knowledge domains presented though the lens of engineering here at HN always surprises me.

I think it's just the perspective. Most software engineering that provides significant value to businesses isn't very hard from the perspective of the person doing it. It just requires a shit ton of specific knowledge, and a bunch of time and tedious work. Of course mustering those things is hard. Try and find someone to replace you in all the things you do, and see how much work they have to put into it. Depending on how deep you're into it, or on how wide the spectrum is, it might even require a really talented person to achieve the skill required to not find the work hard ;)
> Software engineering just isn't that hard. Tedious yes, but not remotely difficult.

I find doing it well constantly really hard.

> Software engineering just isn't that hard. Tedious yes, but not remotely difficult.

If you're ever feeling this way, move to a games company. Plenty of hard programming problems...

> Software engineering just isn't that hard.

That doesn't even make sense. Software engineering is using software to solve problems. How hard software engineering is depends entirely on the problem you are trying to solve.

> That your job is not your life and figure out what really matters to you. Then focus on that, and use your job to fill the boring hours in between

This hit me very hard.

"Software engineering just isn't that hard. Tedious yes, but not remotely difficult. "

This is every job after you've mastered everything you need to be successful. The key is to keep learning more or just completely find a new challenge.

" ... find interests and friendships outside of work."

100% agree.

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What a change from the exciting atmosphere of the 2000s.

I miss this every day.

> Autopilot is for middle age

??? I thought that middle age was where you still had the energy and the brainpower, but also had a bunch of hard-earned experience to bring it all to the highest level.

Oh, wait. I forgot. You slacked off when you were in your 20's and 30's so you don't. Never mind.

> Your 20s are the time to learn, push yourself and discover who you are.

I agree with this, but it's not going to happen with any job. You'll never discover yourself sitting in an office. If you look at jobs as a means to an end to let you live you're real life I think your better off.

At this point in my life, an "exciting" software job is for suckers

I do develop some insights working in an office though. For the most part, no, I can't even totally be myself in this corporate office and my life feels too routined. I'm looking for something more
Well, exciting can mean different things. I have a job where I never know what I'll be doing at 2PM when I walk in at 8AM.

AND, I am not a sucker.

The question you asked, "how can i stop this?" is commonly not possible to tackle directly. If you didn't care about the company before, there likely isn't much for you now.

I think you've got the right mentality - that staying where you are isn't the best long term move at your current stage of life.

Ask yourself what is it that you want to try? ML, FE, BE, Full stack? and simply build a project out of it. Dabble and dabble. It'll likely be hard at first since there's a mental rut, but at some point, something will pique your interest.

From there it's just diving deeper and deeper until you're ready to jump ship. You may even find it at the current company through a transfer.

I don't recommend jumping ship until you're sure. You've got a fantastic backstop.

Can you start

1. Consulting on the side? Surely you being G employee will open lots of doors.

2. Side project/your own startup .

I think you are getting a great value for 10% of your capacity. I would just keep milking it till you get something on side get started.

PS: I don't think 'deeply learn the FE/BE technologies' is good investment of time.

I'm guessing Google has a very wide-ranging non-compete and/or IP ownership agreement that'd keep him from doing this.

He works for Google, and I bet Google would say "we own your work, all of it".

Correct, but it is possible to apply for clearance on IP ownership depending whether or not there is a competition or not.
I've fallen into slumps, and it can be hard to get out of them. However, what worked for me was putting my sights on something new, sometimes related sometimes not. I found I'm better at devops stuff, and it's more interesting to me than building CRUD services.

You might try deep diving into Linux. Buying a book and studying for the RHCSA is a great way to get started with an achievable and valuable goal (disclaimer: I work for Red Hat and have the RHCSA). It is mostly applicable to all Linux, maybe 5 to 10% is RH specific.

I also bought some Great Courses on philosophy and that has been stimulating. I can highly recommend the courses from David Kyle Johnson.

You may also try starting a new project. That is the best way I've found to really learn BE/FE. Elixir is an incredibly fun language, and it's gaining traction. Get the Dave Thomas book first, then the Chris McCord Phoenix book. Being at Google there's probably lots of great people to ask for advice too.

Just my thoughts. I'm no expert at this, just sharing what worked for me.

Make sure you save up the money, pay off all your debts. Start doing stuff at work "properly". Then once you got yourself back upto "match fitness", start looking around.
I have come to realize this past year some of us in IT have moved into the domain of true Subject Matter Expert. I personally proved my worth to my clients and based on that they more than happy to keep me on 'retainer' adding nothing new, but ensuring that current systems to fark up... I work from home doing nothing but attending meetings. I am on the peak of the efficiency curve.
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I have been at this situation at Microsoft for four years straight out of college. I would achieve notable things without putting too much into the work. Then I figured out what kind of a role and technology area I wanted to work on, changed ship and jumped to Google —now still happy after three years.

Since you are new grad employee, I assume your comp wasn’t competitive as it could be. 6 years at L4 also probably indicates you are at/below median comp for that level/location. You might be due for a change if you want more money.

In my opinion, Google is still an amazing place to practice all sorts of different technologies. Internal education programs and mobility between teams would let you work anywhere in the company that’s interesting to you. I suspect unless you find that passion, this might repeat anyhwere you go.

Sometimes changing teams helps. Another possibility would be to see if you can take a leave of absence. Maybe combine them, take a leave of absence and then start fresh with a new team?
Cant change deparmentd easily at google ?
Or maybe you are perfectly adapted to your circumstances according to "The Gervais Principle, Or The Office According to “The Office”"? https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-... "The Sociopath (capitalized) layer comprises the Darwinian/Protestant Ethic will-to-power types who drive an organization to function despite itself. The Clueless layer is what Whyte called the “Organization Man,” but the archetype inhabiting the middle has evolved a good deal since Whyte wrote his book (in the fifties). The Losers are not social losers (as in the opposite of “cool”), but people who have struck bad bargains economically – giving up capitalist striving for steady paychecks. ... The difference between [upwardly-aspiring Ryan] and the average checked-out Loser is illustrated in one brilliant scene early in his career. He suggests, during a group stacking effort in the warehouse, that they form a bucket brigade to work more efficiently. The minimum-effort Loser Stanley tells him coldly, “this here is a run-out-the-clock situation.” The line could apply to Stanley’s entire life. Stanley’s response shows both his intelligence and clear-eyed self-awareness of his Loser bargain with the company. He therefore acts according to a mix of self-preservation and minimum-effort coasting instincts. ... The career of the Loser is the easiest to understand. Having made a bad bargain, and not marked for either Clueless or Sociopath trajectories, he or she must make the best of a bad situation. The most rational thing to do is slack off and do the minimum necessary. Doing more would be a Clueless thing to do. Doing less would take the high-energy machinations of the Sociopath, since it sets up self-imposed up-or-out time pressure. So the Loser — really not a loser at all if you think about it — pays his dues, does not ask for much, and finds meaning in his life elsewhere. For Stanley it is crossword puzzles. For Angela it is a colorless Martha-Stewartish religious life. For Kevin, it is his rock band. For Kelly, it is mindless airhead pop-culture distractions. Pam has her painting ambitions. Meredith is an alcoholic slut. Oscar, the ironic-token gay character, has his intellectual posturing. Creed, a walking freak-show, marches to the beat of his own obscure different drum (he is the most rationally checked-out of all the losers)."

If you want to change Google into a better company or alternatively build or find a better place to be, here is a reading list I've put together which might help: https://github.com/pdfernhout/High-Performance-Organizations...

Since you mentioned depression, see especially the related health sections.

All the best and good luck!

P.S. Something I wrote in 2008 on ideological challenges inherent in Google inspired by contradictions in the "Project Virgle" April Fools joke: https://pdfernhout.net/a-rant-on-financial-obesity-and-Proje... "Even just in jest some of the most financially obese people on the planet (who have built their company with thousands of servers all running GNU/Linux free software) apparently could not see any other possibility but seriously becoming even more financially obese off the free work of others on another planet (as well as saddling others with financial obesity too :-). And that jest came almost half a century after the "Triple Revolution" letter of 1964 about the growing disconnect between effort and productivity (or work and financial fitness) .... Even not having completed their PhDs, the top Google-it...

Have you been on the same team the whole time? I’ve found that how I feel about my work and my productivity has a lot to do with what kind of team I’m on. I don’t like being the superstar (too much pressure) and I hate being around a real superstar (all my code gets rewritten by the superstar so why bother writing it in the first place). When I’m with people at roughly my own level I have a ton of energy and actually enjoy my work.
lol imagine not understanding why working for faang is not fulfilling
If I were you, before I would do anything, I would first go to therapy and work with a therapist. That or pick up a good CBT book.

To me, it sounds like you have a lot of questions to resolve first. I would do that before you change anything. For example why do you think you are doing a minimal amount of work and does that actually mesh with reality? How do you define and measure work output anyway?

You mention dealing with depression for example. In my experience dealing with depression itself is a full time job. That you held down a second job during that experience is a major accomplishment. Go easy on yourself.

Remember above all that your thoughts create your emotions. Ask yourself why do you feel that way. What thoughts underlie the feelings. Question those thoughts.

If you are in Mountain View or the bay area, I'd recommend going to the Feeling Good Institute. I'd also recommend reading Dr. David Burns book Feeling Good.

Consider CBT as a set of tools for your brain and human operating system. I would start by learning those tools first.

Could you recommend a good CBT book?
Feeling Good by David Burns is a truly excellent book. Although published in the 80's it is still very relevant and useful.
I like Chris Thurman's books, like The Lies We Believe.
This is a great answer. I was going to say something very similar, but rather than a therapist, I’d recommend meditation!

Talking to yourself about yourself and seriously debugging, can be a lot of effort but long term, it is very rewarding.

I always say to people, “Emotions and intuition are just a complicated set of logic you don’t understand yet”.

Emotions can be a fog in your mind, blocking you from seeing the path from where you are to where you want to be.

Putting in the time to understand the root causes of your emotions, start to help map your mind and you can better navigate and find paths to your final goals.

I like how on hacker news every personal problem can be solved by three activities; Therapy, Meditation, and...Salsa!

It's probably good advice. Although, I like to combine all three by doing painting and poetry. These activities might be better suited to some hackers.

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The root cause of your emotions are your thoughts.
HN isn't the best place to ask for this since we can't really give actionable feedback. Look me up internally (jtgans) -- I've been at Google off and on for about 8 years cumulatively now. Happy to talk over VC if you'd like.
I think you underestimate your value to the company.

“All I do is copy code from the internal codebase and patch things together until they work” — this is exactly what established tech companies mostly need from their engineers. They want people with enough CS competence to not fuck things up while patching together new solutions from the institutional code soup that everyone knows how to navigate and review.

If you can do this reliably at 10% of your capacity and don’t have ambitions of applying creative solutions with unproven tech, you’re a real asset. Don’t leave rashly unless you’re genuinely bored or frustrated.

You didn’t read his whole post. They’re bored. Their value to google is high enough to keep them employed but the job is beneath their capabilities.

The failing for google is not providing this person a path to do more or at least understanding their ambition to do more.

99% of jobs are boring. You're just solving other people's business problems after all.
Yah, that's why you're paid well, because why else would you do it? If you want meaningful work get into research or work at a uni, but don't expect much money.
Their value to google is high enough to keep them employed but the job is beneath their capabilities.

That's what we call "the perfect job." It pays the bills, but leaves you the maximum amount of (mental|emotional|psychological|spiritual|whatever) energy to work on the things that really interest you ... outside of work.

Of course different people will approach this differently, but I don't want my job to be interesting. I don't draw any sense of self-worth / self-satisfaction / joy-in-life / etc. from my job. My job is just a means to an end, where that end is to pay the rent, pay the electric bill, buy food etc. I have enough other ways to achieve those other things, and an "interesting" (and by extension, "demanding") job just gets in the way.

> but leaves you the maximum amount of (mental|emotional|psychological|spiritual|whatever) energy

That's probably not the case. It looks counterintuitive but being bored and feeling unmotivated at work can leave you at the end of the day with much less energy than an very intensive but interesting work.

Your 2nd paragraph makes sense for a person like you, but I'd guess that the OP is one of those different people, for who self-satisfaction at work is a key thing.

That's probably not the case. It looks counterintuitive but being bored and feeling unmotivated at work can leave you at the end of the day with much less energy than an very intensive but interesting work.

I actually agree with you on that. With the caveat that this is true if you do (by choice, or by inclination) really want your job to provide self-fulfillment / self-actualization / blah / etc.

What I'm not sure about, is whether or not that is a personality trait which is basically fixed and can't be changed, or whether this is something where you can make a conscious choice to change. I think it's the latter, because my own subjective experience has been that I used to be more of the "if my job is boring that leaves me feeling dis-spirited" or whatever, but over time I found that I cared less and less about the "day job" and more and more about what I chose to focus on outside. But I'll freely concede that this just one anecdote, and that what makes sense for me may not work for others.

Thanks for this follow up. Really got me thinking.
For me personally, being bored at work actually leaves me more tired at home afterwards. I'm working on something so boring at work now and I can't handle it. It's just going to kill me very slowly over the course of the next month.

Now for your second point, I completely agree--I don't want to feel like my job is my worth or joy in life, and it isn't. But at the same time, I wouldn't take a job at an assembly line even if it paid $1M a year.

That's why you work on your side projects at work. I plan and design and write in a text editor my personal stuff all the time. It's just a text editor so it doesn't look suspect.
make sure it stays on personal accounts and equipment to avoid ownership issues but ianal
Or better work on gpl code, then it's s win win I think.
Agreed. Boring jobs leave me unhappy and increase the odds I'll quit and move on.

In fact, I've changed jobs roughly every 2 to 3 years precisely due to boredom.

It sounds nice to be able to get by day-to-day in a full job but it's not a good fit for me personally.

Pro-tip: don't tell or show this sentiment to a potential employer if you ever look to switch jobs. This is probably the worst possible mindset for an employee to have from employer's perspective.
Regardless of what their understanding of Big O is, Google still needs a lot people to do CRUD work or make another mobile app, like any other company.

The issue seems to be hiring the highly educated and entitled to do boring but necessary work. GSUs can only motivate people so much.

I think it is just an optimal solution for large companies with disposable income.

A company I worked at hired smart engineer with a masters from Berkeley, and then tasked him with breaking down cardboard boxes and other mundane tasks. The fact that they were grossly overqualified for any of the tasks was a advantage because they were flexible, and reliably needed no oversight.

If money isn't an object, why not get the best tools possible.

Because those 'best tools' are easily bored and feel entitled to more?

Look at the political discourse spewing out of Googlers at the moment. It's bursting at the seams from internal ideological friction.

> The failing for google is not providing this person a path to do more or at least understanding their ambition to do more.

That's not a failure of Google. People need to be self-driven.

People who want to do more should talk to their manager about it, or pursue other opportunities within the company, or leave. Google and all the other big tech companies offer plenty of things to do for ambitious people if they express an interest.

Google and the OP are failing in different ways.

Google is failing to identify and extract more valuable labor from OP.

OP failing to manage their emotional engagement is a separate criticism.

> Google is failing to identify and extract more valuable labor from OP.

Google is doing a pretty good job extracting labor value in general. If they miss a specific individual who doesn't seem very motivated (to the extent of being a self-described slacker), I wouldn't view that as a failing. Ambitious people generally make themselves noticed, and trying to extract ambition from every slacker in the company is probably not very rewarding.

It's impossible for an organization on Google's scale to recognize everyone's potential perfectly, and match them with a perfectly challenging and rewarding position. At the end of the day, even Google has mundane jobs still need to be done.

The fault is on OP here, for not moving on earlier. FAANG is not the end all be all of software development. Consider joining a startup where you'll have a much larger influence over critical pieces of the software stack.

BILL Ooh, uh, yeah. I'm going to have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there. Yeah. Uh, he's been real flaky lately and I'm not sure that he's the caliber person you want for upper management. He's been having some problems with his TPS reports.

BOB PORTER I'll handle this. We feel that the problem isn't with Peter.

BOB SLYDELL Um-um.

BOB PORTER It's that you haven't challenged him enough to get him really motivated.

BOB SLYDELL There it is.

BILL Yeah, I'm not sure about that now.

BOB PORTER All right, Bill. Let me ask you this. How much time each week would you say you deal with these TPS reports?

- Investment Bankers get paid handsomely to reformat power-point slides and pitch decks

- Management Consultants get paid handsomely to clean spreadsheets and make nice charts

- Software Engineers get paid handsomely to copypaste a couple of lines of code here and there.

Lots of these people sacrificed their youth to get into the right school and work.

But still a lot of them are stuck with menial task for years and years.

In the end, you don't get paid because you're so damn smart - you get paid for your time, and the assurance that you won't fk up things.

A lot of the interesting work sadly doesn't come before years down the road, after you've proven yourself, and made it through the promotions.

>They’re bored.

Welcome to working.

phone it in while starting other businesses. Work on developing enough passive/semipassive income streams to replace your full time job.

Follow your passions.