Ask HN: Have any of you moved back home to save money?

149 points by throw51319 ↗ HN
I still have my job, but I was thinking of not renewing my lease in NYC and just going back home to the parents to work remote in the fall/winter and save a TON of money. Kinda lame because I'm 28 but who cares, since a lockdown will stop most of the "fun" stuff anyway. Would rather run and bike every day.

Anybody else doing the same?

224 comments

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Having my own place has really helped with my social life and relationships. It's nice to have a place to invite people over that you can call your own.
Yeah but is that worth it in the fall/winter when you're paying close to 2k just to live in the city? Idk.
Hm, I guess my outgoings are around the 500 mark, which makes it much easier to swallow.
To hijack this thread, has anyone moved places in the same city to decrease their rent? In SF right now rents are taking a pretty big dip and I’m thinking about moving apartment.
I stayed in my apartment but negotiated a concession from my landlord to lower the effective annual rent.
What was the concession ( just curious ) ?
No rent increase + 1 month free (July) + a discount on one month’s rent (August).

Amortized over the full 12 month term, it effectively knocks a few hundred dollars per month off of a (very small) one bedroom apartment (with an in-unit washer/dryer!) in lower Manhattan.

You think staying in Manhattan is going to be worth it during the fall/winter?

Basically nothing to do besides order takeout and walk around, bad weather. No big concerts, etc.

I’m gonna be honest this is difficult to parse.

I’ve lived here for nearly 5 years now, and it sounds like you’re kind of describing Manhattan in the winter nearly any year. I’ll likely do most of the things I’d do anyway, except I’ll be wearing a mask for most of them.

I dunno, I guess I just enjoy my neighborhood and I’m putting a significant portion of my income into savings while still living here so why would I move?

Yeah true. Usually in the fall/winter I would go to a big meetup once or twice a week, go out to a rave, get some coffee and chill at a coffeeshop, go on a random tinder date... I guess all things I'm thinking 90% won't be able to do this year.
I was able to save $200/month by finding a different apartment (I live in Minneapolis, so this is a roughly 16% decrease in rent).
I just signed a lease with my roommate down the street from my current place, similar amenities in downtown Chicago.

Old: 915 sqft, 2 bd, 1.5 ba, $3000/month, $300 / mo parking. New: 1400 sqft, 2 bd, 2ba, $2800/month, free parking.

Our current place made us an offer at $2650 a month due to decreased demand.

Wow. Must be a nice place. I used to live in a super nice 1br for 1300/month in Chicago 4y ago.
I'm moving to move in with my significant other, but I've noticed rents taking a dip here in Toronto. Not sure how it is in SF, but here all buildings older than November 2018 are rent controlled - leading to good opportunities when rent dips, especially if you didn't have a great rate to begin with.

My SO and I "saved" around $400/month thanks to COVID - identical 2bd/2bth units to the one we got were renting for ~$3100/month pre-COVID, we got ours for $2700/month.

Yes. Also negotiated to get lower rent on the new place. You can probably negotiate with your current landlord if you threaten to leave (of course you have to be willing to move).
lol and our landlord wanted to raise our rent prices in response to us asking to go month-to-month
Home is in a different timezone + I rent a non-furnished place.

That’s really the issue with renting furnished, you can’t easily move.

You mean that renting furnished makes it easier to move right?
Yeah, I miswrote!
Honestly I've thought about it, but not to save money per se, but because I'm angling to switch my full time gig from software to music, which is far less lucrative. But yeah, I say you should go for it, COVID-19 isn't going away anytime soon.
Spend time with your family, evaluate your trajectory in life. This will make you stronger.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. Taking a "breather" from the city life, I've had a few years there doing that whole jazz.

Might be good to save, live healthy, evaluate what I want from the next 5 years.

Nope, my parents are capitalists so they’d charge me rent anyways.
Do all adults in a household share responsibility for taking care of it?
You think thats bad? My mom won't even clean my laundry or heat up my pizza rolls!
I don't see anything wrong with that, but also depends on your lifestyle and relationship with your parents. Your dating life will suffer unless you're cool with bringing a random person home with your parents there. I'm sure your parents will enjoy the short term company and can help them with chores and throw them some cash.
Yeah with Covid no way. Basically no dating. I have a gf that lives in the city... so idk how long that will last.
Sort of. I moved back to my hometown to an old (and I mean old) family flat that my father owns that is 2 minutes walk from my parents house.

Honestly, I wanted to shoot my self in the face every day. I love my parents, but I left their home and city at 17 and coming back after 20 years just made me realize I rather starve than live in that shitty hellhole I grew up on.

Sorry, not related, but fuck, I hate that town!

You hate the town itself or just you hate the mental constraint of being around your parents and all the things that trigger your childhood? I don't hate my hometown but I do feel some mental constraint when Im here.
Both.

I hate my hometown (even though most of my old time friends live here, I can go to any bar/restaurant and I am treated like family), but the town, the overall people here, the layout, I just hate it.

As for my parents, I love them, but both me and my father know that we can't be together for long. I moved back with them during lockdown to help them out, but god, the day I got out of there seemed like I won the lottery.

(Again, I love my parents, but our personalities are so different that it is impossible to live in close proximity)

Yeah I hear you there, that would be a big one for me. I have a lot of mental constraints around my parents. Not at ease doing things I like to do without my parents always trying to tone down everything I want to do for work or fun. It's incredibly stressful when they do that because it's always screaming in my face "don't be yourself, be the normal person we want you to be" and I don't think the point of life is to be normal
Yeah definitely can see that happening. For me it's just that they project a mental space of me being unable to do even simple things, "make sure you turn the handle right!"

They watch the news every night, my dad yells at the TV screen.

Really annoying but not the end of the world. I'm trying to spend my time learning, creating, while using as little mental/emotional energy as possible.

Do you mind sharing which town? Or which part of the world / U.S.? I’m just curious where you dislike so much...
Ermesinde, Porto, Portugal. You probably never in your life heard of it :) Most people in Portugal also don't except for a sketch in an old stupid comedy show that put it on the map because 'Ermesinde was the town of the hot bitches' ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Uv7y1dtxUk )
As a counter anecdote, I did the same thing and I love the experience.

The difference is I bought a house nearby. It's actually been really nice, but I've always loved small towns and hated the city.

And I find that great :)

I had the opposite experience ;) And is not the big/small town thing. I actually moved from my 'perfect' place, and it was a 4000 people village :P I actually prefer that! Just my hometown, I don't know exactly why (I have ideas) rubs me the wrong way.

Ah that makes sense. I have a tinge of that but it's probably memories. Eventually we will move out when family is of less focus.

We're young now so it was a good idea to have family close. Eventually we're going to move somewhere even more remote.

I have a cousin that her whole life always wanted to live close to her parents. She started to live 100 meters away from them. Then bought the land next to their house to build, etc.

I have always been an independent bastard. I love my family to death, but I want to be the furthest away from them. I am who I am, but different lives have different requirements. And different parents have different ways to be dealt with.

I can say here, I would love to have a more 'present' life with my parents. Do wood working projects with my father, or take my mother for coffee somewhere, but we are so different in the way we think, that 99.5% of the times, we just end up arguing (just Saturday evening, we had a family dinner with extended family, and I left their house after a screaming match with my father, no-one was right, we are just too different to ever understand each other)

Kind of, I chose not to renew my lease in NYC and go live relatively far from work with my significant other and her mom.
I'm 29, live in the Bay Area, and recently moved back to my parents place. At first I was embarrassed, but while running around the neighborhood I keep bumping into old high school and college classmates who did the same thing in order to save money. Like you said there's nothing to do anyway since everything fun is closed. I'm also saving about $2500 per month (more or less) and hanging out with my family is nice. Honestly, your parents will be happy to have you back anyway. There's nothing lame about moving back home since a lot of people are doing it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Are your parents also in the Bay Area?

Yeah idk I just don't see the draw to the city now... and instead of half-assing it, maybe just moving home and getting a good bike etc is wortwhile.

Basically zero dating options though, so that's the big downside.

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As someone who does enjoy the Bay Area, it's saddening that as soon as work doesn't require commute, there's no draw. Which I'm sure is the same for many. Place is not for everyone, but I picked the Bay Area because I do enjoy it.
The general area definitely has its attractions. SF increasingly less so. And a lot of SV is soulless sprawl. But if money were no object, there are a lot of places in the Bay Area that are very attractive and the climate is mostly pretty great.

Money usually is an object though and it's not really surprising that people paying $4K a month would depart if they don't need to live there for work any longer and they can't really enjoy at least the non-natural aspects of the area.

This.

I don’t live in the Bay Area because I want to work in tech...

I work in tech because I want to live in the Bay Area, and my skill set of technical knowledge aligned with tech pretty nicely.

In San Francisco, when the pandemic ends and everything starts actually getting back to normal, we don’t have to worry about if the weather will be nice that month. We can pick back up where we left off.

I don’t have to cram our outside summer activities into five months anymore.

I love Chicago, but I did my time.

I just moved from Chicago to San Francisco last weekend and can definitely relate. I had such anxiety as I was locked inside watching the few months where it's enjoyable to be outside pass by. Even without the pandemic, I always felt such a need to go non-stop all summer because I knew the warm days were limited and it got exhausting. There are a number of things that I am going to miss about Chicago, but I really appreciate the fact that I'll be able to enjoy outdoor activities here year-round.
Yup they're in the Bay Area too, so it wasn't a big move. Not being able to date sucks, but if most people are moving back home, then maybe living with your parents won't have as much of a stigma. But given that we're experiencing a global pandemic, dating is something we should try to hold off on until the situation improves.
SF normalized being 30+, successful, but still living with roommates. As long as you have an adult relationship with your parents (aka they're okay with you having sex, and you're okay with your parents having sex - which they most likely did in order to have you) while all living under the same roof, then it's fine (assuming all parties involved can get over it).

The problem with dating while living out in the 'burbs is that the population density just isn't the same, even if you don't mind driving. Apps help in this regard. There's also the practical matter of alcohol. Taxis (inc Uber/Lyft) just aren't as convenient outside of the city. There are more parks to meet at though!

This has been practically addressed in places like Japan, where it's acceptable to use 'love hotels' for some private time without the sleezy feeling.
I don't understand this forced stigma. You do you man. I'm sure your parents are thrilled. And there's nothing like reconnecting with old friends in familiar places.
A lot of parents have no social life. This will only get worse with age. When you move back in with them, you give them a false sense of a social life and friendship, which will leave an even bigger hole when you move. Something to keep in mind.

Edit: For all the people negging - the point is that you should encourage your parents to have a social life, which is proven to be good for health, happiness, etc.

The covid-19 travel restrictions have unfortunately delayed an international move for me. I'm not considering moving back home, but in the event that the restrictions are not lifted before my current lease expires, I will certainly be trading my expensive urban apartment for something more remote and closer to nature. All of the advantages of city life are inaccessible for the foreseeable future, so why not move?

I can rent an entire house for half of what I'm currently paying for an apartment!

Yeah I just don't see the point. Things have started to open up in NYC but it's just not the same.
Also was in NYC. My inlaws have a place in CT with a basement that is larger than my NYC apartment. Moved out a few months ago and won't be renewing. Might move back to the city in 6-12 months covid dependent but for now, I'm thinking we'll sit tight and enjoy the summer and fall in the foothills of the berkshires. no garbage on the street, lush green mountains all around. really hard to want to go back to the city at this point...
Not an option, and boy do I wish it was.
You think it's a good option? Basically sacrifice any sense of your own place, put all dating on hold etc for a lot of savings and healthy living.
My comment said it's not an option. And yes I would sacrifice said things right now. but again - not an option.
Yes, I've often thought over the past few months that I would move back home if I could. I'm in my 20s, and relatively unattached, and now would be the perfect opportunity to spend a lot of time with my parents, if they were still around.
I'm right there with you. I hope the people with this option realize how lucky they are.
No way in hell my parents would take me back in and no way in hell I'd deal with that again.

That being said, I really wish I could because I might be able to afford going back to school in that case.

I'm switching jobs and i want to go backpacking for a year, so yeah. If you don't have a SO and don't plan to go "socialize" in the short term this is not a bad idea imo.
Switching jobs after the backpacking trip? No working during the trip? Sounds like a good time.

Yeah that's the only downside... basically zero dating that whole time. But save a ton, reevaluate things... I'm leaning towards it being worth it.

Dating is already a little weird with everything shutdown.
I moved to Veracruz, Mexico partly to save money, partly to learn Spanish. I pay $75/mo for a room in a fully furnished apartment.
Nice are you American? I'm B2 in spanish and would consider doing the same thing.
Yep! US citizens get 6 month tourist visas, so that's nice. And they're not fussy about "visa trips" (renewing by crossing the border). Obviously, that's gonna be a bit harder now.

Finding a place was a real problem, though. They use Facebook Marketplace for everything, and I didn't have a Facebook account (you can't use marketplace until your account is at least 6 months old). On top of that, most places I found were unfurnished (not even a fridge).

If you're gonna move here for a year or less, I think it's best to find a room in a share house. Luckily, I had a friend who had a spare room.

Also, make sure you bring your debit card. I forgot mine. Boy, is that long story.

Great to know. How's the safety and the amenities (dining, delivery, laundry) there? Are you enjoying it?
I'm in a gated community at the moment. Safety is not a concern whatsoever. Even in the city center, it's pretty quiet here. It's pretty dangerous in Mexico City or some places in the North. The danger is pretty localized, so as long as you know what things/places to avoid, you'll be fine. Having a native friend can be pretty helpful here. If not, there's always Reddit.

As far as dining, there are restaurants and street food everywhere. Many places have servicio a domicilio or use Uber Eats. I think Uber Eats is only available in the bigger cities, though.

Laundry is great! If you don't have a washing machine, you take your clothes to a lavandería. They'll wash, dry, and fold all your clothes for about $3. It's pretty convenient.

Oh, and the enjoying it part - hell yes. I'd much rather be stuck here in a cheap foreign country than back at home!
Wow! Why so cheep? Mexico can't be that cheap, can it?
Correct! This was a pretty unique find. It's because I'm living with a friend, in a very non-touristy area, waaay out in the suburbs.

I'm actually moving closer into the city in a couple weeks. Rent will be closer to $100 for a similar room there.

I never would've found these places without a network, though.

I also have a lease in NYC set to expire in September and plan not to renew it in favor of moving back home to Colorado. My hope is I'll be able to find remote work and pay off my student loans in one year while COVID blows over. No reason to pay exorbitant rent prices in a city where I cant take advantage of any of the benefits bc of the lockdown. I'm thinking this will be a nice retreat into nature.
Yeah all you can do in NYC now is go to the park and get take-out food... not going to socialize heavily since all big events are cancelled.
I will probably be doing that. Because of corona, I lost my job. In my case, I was living as an expat. Now I'm waiting for an offer from another company. If it's not good enough, then I will move back and take a year off to try new things like working remotely.

I don't want to work at a place that I don't really like, especially when I am living alone in abroad and there's a high risk of second wave coming. I guess it's time to take a break and focus on myself and my family.

I moved into my parent’s house for a spell several years ago to save money for a down payment. (Married, one kid, brought the au pair with us, lol.) These days, my parents live about 10 minutes away and we sleep over a couple of weekends a month. If we didn’t already live out in the exurbs near them we would have moved in with them during COVID.

Living closely with family is routine outside the US and is only considered “lame” in a handful of developed countries.

It also depends if you can tolerate living with your parents. My one living parent is driving my sister nuts, for instance.
I've been thinking of doing this in order to save a bit more for house deposit in London.
I know some people who do that. They are still single years later, but they saved a lot of money.
That's the tradeoff for sure. Relationship with parents aside, "I live with my parents" is not a good look in the dating scene for anyone past university age.
I moved with my girlfriend from our apartment in Amsterdam to her family holiday home on an island in South-Eastern Europe. We save a decent amount of cash (our rent+utilities was 2000€ alone) and live an amazing life here.

Definitely considering to find remote-only positions in the future. Currently my company allows me to wait out COVID anywhere within roughly the same timezone.

This doesn't count unless girlfriend's parents sleep in an adjoining bedroom.
I've made several trips to visit my parents while working, even redirecting mail once. But I still have an apartment in the bay area. I'm sure my family would be happy if I moved in for awhile. But I like my apartment, and I would expect that officially moving out of the bay area would come with a salary cut, I don't think it would save me that much money.