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Ask HN: What was the biggest contributor to your happiness in the past year?

360 points by break_the_bank ↗ HN
For me it was running. Went from couch potato to regular runner for whom HMs don’t need any planning. Running always makes the day better. Physically I think exercise releases endorphins, mentally it’s my one win for the day.

Wondering what works.

544 comments

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runawaybottle
Dog.
break_the_bank
Getting a pet seems so awesome. I'm worried about the commitment it brings to the dog itself, and the place. I lose the ability to "sell everything and travel".
runawaybottle
You’ll be okay. It’s a commitment, but the dog can go with you anywhere. Best decision I ever made in my life.
edgyquant
I spent the past two years being a digital nomad (within the US) and I have a pitbull and a cat. Just have to make sure the destinations are a days drive (or take a plane) so the animals aren’t going insane.
redisman
My dog does seemingly fine on multi day road trips. He’s pretty much a napper though so doesn’t make much of a difference for his plans
edgyquant
Mine does as well normally, but I also have a cat that makes it difficult. Though I will say when I drove from New York to Washington state, a four day trip, the dog looked so wore out I couldn’t bare to take her through that again.
redisman
> I lose the ability to "sell everything and travel"

You can still pretty much do that with planning but that is kind of the point. It’s a responsibility and a sacrifice of a part of your freedom. Like most good things in life.

1123581321
Fixing chronic shoulder pain. My resting heart rate at night dropped by about 15 points in the week after an intense therapy session.
Jtsummers
Having long dealt with chronic pain in various areas I can sympathize. PT is fantastic for this and reducing the pain is an incredible QOL improvement.
neolog
Wow. Is that a real measured number, or are you guessing?
1123581321
It’s based on wearing an Apple Watch to bed with HeartWatch and AutoSleep running. About a month of night data preceding the therapy and two months since then.
davidsawyer
What are some things that the therapy session included?
1123581321
It was designed by the therapist and me after seeing how progress from more generic PT sessions had plateaued short of our goal. Basically a high quantity of precise pressure and controlled movements that were, in her professional estimation, taken as far as possible without risking a regression due to damage or increased pain. My job was to communicate clearly and make clear that I valued progress over comfort at every choice. Quite intense and lengthy, and the 12 hours after had me unsure if her assessment was correct, but it worked out.
bpodgursky
Wife gave birth to a healthy child.
jhrozek
Congratulations! It’s funny to see your comment downvoted while just above a comment that says “dog” is not and gets a bunch of enthusiastic replies. HN demographics I guess?
fblp
Meditation practice
l0b0
Cats & walking to work listening to podcasts.
murrayb
Did a marriage course with my wife. Very helpful wish we had done it a decade earlier!
huuman12
What was the course?
murrayb
From memory it was called The Marriage Course. It was offered by The Uniting Church. We are not affiliated with the church and did not find the course overly religious. The session on sex was the most moralistic but no surprises there and the content was still useful /helpful.
bemmu
Moving to a new place with a view of a river instead of a parking lot. Thought it’d quickly just feel like the new normal, but there is something calming about flowing water.
tazjin
Leaving (~Western) Europe. The last year made it clear that I'm not compatible with its values and priorities, and I'm now going to live in places that aren't living museums.

It's freed up a lot of mental space which has been phenomenal.

emilsedgh
Can you elaborate a bit further about Western Europe being a living museum?
Scoundreller
Where’d you go?
tazjin
Currently in Egypt (spending a few months here can alter your perspective), next up ... we'll see! My next permanent base is going to be Russia.
arthurcolle
How is the New Administrative Capital looking like?
tazjin
I commented about that in the other thread, but fwiw I'm not near Cairo.
tim333
Also in Egypt (Dahab). Say hi!
wikibob
I’m fascinated by this teaser.

Can you elaborate?

Was it the food, the politics, the work culture? Other?

tazjin
I'm hesitant to go into detail about this on HN because people on here will do their best to attack/criticise and there's not much to be gained from that.

The short version is that the last year's politics have uprooted a lot of beliefs I held formerly that are common in Europe (some examples: stereotyping Americans in certain ways, having the acceptable view on the Democrat/Republican divide, assuming that society will react proportionally to threats and consider the health of all people, assuming that Europe cares at all about what effects its policies have on less well-off parts of the world, the Russian government being evil and the sort of general European take of Europe being the "pinnacle of civilisation").

Happy to elaborate more in private if you're interested, but not in public (similarly, another effect of the last year is that I stopped using social media like Twitter).

reducesuffering
> the Russian government being evil

You might want to pay attention to Navalny's expose and the litany of assassinations they've been clearly implicated in...

tazjin
You might want to look into who Navalny was before he got famous in the West (and what kinds of things he said), and what grounds the various claims surrounding this stand on.
reducesuffering
I'm fully aware of Navalny's history, all politicians are flawed in some ways, and Navalny is even moreso. Do you think that assassination is acceptable for that? The evidence for the poisonings is ironclad by any world measures except RT. Remember, this is about the Russian government's abhorrent "evil" behavior. Your whataboutism is a weak defense.

I don't know how you can dispute them literally catching the FSB agent admitting it: https://youtu.be/ibqiet6Bg38?t=349

amiga
In IT, changed career goals to a less demanding role, including a new team, manager, etc. Its amazing how refreshing a change like that can be.
11thEarlOfMar
SpaceX

StarHopper, StarShip, StarLink, 28 Falcon launches (114 total), 26 landings, caught the fairing, ...

Could never have imagined such a prolific space endeavor.

redisman
I’m just getting hyped all year for James Webb launch in October.
Aeolun
Taking the train to work (and actually working in the office again).

I need my 1 hour trek back and forth to build barriers between home and work.

sprocket
My son's daycare closed permanently almost a year ago, and my wife and I had to adjust to have a 3 going on 4 year old at home with us 24/7. While it hasn't been easy, it's been a joy watching him grow over this past year, having time to bond with him (generally he favours his mom), and to have greater insight into who he is becoming as a person.

It has been a difficult time for everyone, but I honestly believe that this will be formative time not just for him, but for my wife and I, and one that we will look back upon fondly.

AnonC
I think this is one of the curses of modern life, more so in the rat race, that one misses on just living with kids (who, most likely, will be living with parents for probably two or three decades of their lives and then move out). The current times generally have more fathers being participative in parenting compared to the past. It seems such a waste of time, if it’s feasible without breaking the bank, to not enjoy more of this phase.

This early stage is also the time when the kids are more dependent and more close in some senses. Can’t roll back the clock later.

BTW, a grammar nitpick. It should be “but for my wife and me”, not “ but for my wife and I”.

[dead] psychiatrist24
No, if you spend time with your kids, you are being exploited an oppressed. The government needs to offer childcare for everybody.
bllguo
building good habits, i started using habitica after seeing it here
MaysonL
Making vegetable soup, and giving it to friends.
eyelidlessness
Without a doubt:

1. My puppy. We moved out of a studio apartment with my ex in a town I didn’t know, back to my city and into a house of our own two weeks before everything shut down. In the last year we’ve bonded incredibly, and weathered the worst of the last year together in a way that would have been incredibly difficult without her. We wake up every day to snuggles and a special day’s greeting, and wind down every night squished up on the couch. I carry her to bed most nights, not because she needs carrying but because it feels so sweet to end the night that way.

2. I quit a job that was burning me out and spent 5 months building the start of a living art project which reinvigorated my creative mind and my love of the tech craft. It’s just started but I have a zillion things I plan to do with it, and it’s the first ambitious project I’ve been able to follow through on in years.

pumpkinhead
The people in a country that has outsized influence in the country I live in came to their senses and voted out their leader.

Other than politics my 11-year old son understanding the Roblox API, and 8-year old daughter topping her class in reading and spelling.

afc
Congratulations on your kids' accomplishments. That sounds really great!
gpanders
> The people in a country that has outsized influence in the country I live in came to their senses and voted out their leader.

As one of the people in said country, this was one of the highlights of my year as well.

lykr0n
Lexapro & Adderall.

Which enabled me to rediscover my desire to innovate and learn.

sjg007
How did you end up on that combination?
lykr0n
I first tried wellbutrin, which is used for both depression and mild ADD.

It was not the right choice (it's hard to describe, but it felt like trying to push through a sheet of latex- I could it helping, but it felt like that. also, I was getting some physical side effects), but gaining that mild stimulant and then losing it caused me to bring it up. Combined with my parents trying ADD meds when I was young caused my doctor give me one of those ADD tests, and I was far enough over the line to try it. And it worked.

I'm only on 25mg which is too much some days (but you can adjust the dosage yourself), but my doctor was very open to the conversation (maybe because I paid him directly, no insurance).

It's the kind of thing (both Anti-Deps and Stimulants) everyone should explore if they think they might help.

Hit me with questions. Mental Health is not something I am ashamed of (nor should anyone else be IMO)

EDIT. Lexapro was the 2nd med tried, and it works well enough where I don't feel like rolling the dice again.

psyc
Living alone.
brainless
Staying away from the startup hustle and city life.

I have been constantly disturbed by the chase in the startup system. Building up something out of own passion is one thing, but trying to act like the investor-led founders has been driving me crazy for years.

I live a village life now, do much less software work. Have dialed down my ambitions and I am actually very happy. I do feel that my skills, acquired over 15 years, are less used, but that regret does not last long when I take a trip around the neighboring hills (I live in a Himalayan territory).

cko
How do you sustain this dialed down ambition? Community? Physical labor? Every time I read HN or watch youtube my ambition goes up. And I tried to retire last year but my mind is still restless.
pjc50
> Every time I read HN or watch youtube my ambition goes up

As the old joke goes, don't do that then.

You say you tried to retire; you must have had a previous big push to follow your ambitions in your life. Did that work out well or badly?

cko
I worked a dead end pharmacy job for 9 years and saved hard. I never actually pursued the ambition, if that makes sense, as they were more fantasies than anything else. So maybe moreso FOMO and jealousy (and also fear of losing everything).
_5p0g
I am just guessing here. Have you acted upon your ambitions yet, or do you get overwhelmed and depressed everytime the ambition shoots up (could be due of other startups, HN, friends, YouTube, anything)?

My guess is that most people when the latter happens n number of times(n being the threshold), they breakdown. It's very difficult to know if it is a want or a want-to-want, or a have-to-want. But you can be sure that if the latter is happening, it is never a want, it is always either a want-to-want, or a have-to-want. Once you realise that, I think it will be easier to realise what you really want.

cko
Probably more of a want-to-want. I have a few days of motivation and then succumb to procrastination when I realize (surprise) that nothing is easy and it's all hard work.
brainless
I am learning woodworking. I have been thinking of this for many years. I do still get inspired by what others are doing but I have accepted that I have too much anxiety or related issues to run an investor led startup. It is a conscious choice and I am happy with it.
cko
I hear you. I may do something similar. Like buying cheap land and building a tiny house on it by hand. And eventually joining a co-living community in Austria.
JulianRaphael
Just out of curiosity: whereabouts in the Himalayas are you located? We've been looking for nice places off the beaten path and are always looking for inspiration.
brainless
I live in Sikkim. Temi to be more accurate, it is a small village. It is just below a well-known tea estate. If you search for Temi Tea, Sikkim, you will get a good idea. The tea is one of the best export quality tea from India.
JulianRaphael
Looks like a wonderful place! How I wish that people from outside of Sikkim could acquire property there - it's one of our favourite states in India.
yellowapple
Yep. I moved to SF for a bit over a year, at the behest of my previous employer (which wanted me to work out of their HQ). Probably the most stressful period of my life, both financially and emotionally. Yeah, it was fun for the first couple weeks, but once the novelty wore off I was just left feeling claustrophobic and imprisoned.

I moved back to Reno right at the start of 2020, and it was an immediate change for the better. Less financial stress, and much easier/quicker to escape the city. And this is even amid COVID; I strongly suspect once the stress of an ongoing pandemic subsides I'll be fully back in my "zone", so to speak.

candiddevmike
Remote Jackbox party games were pretty therapeutic during the pandemic.

Spending the vacation budget (and quite a bit of savings) on improving the household amenities, entertainment options, and everyone's hobbies.

We just got back from our first post COVID vacation and it was truly hellish--I'd gladly take being stuck in a multi bedroom house vs hours in a vehicle. Additionally, all the perks of being on vacation were either still absent because of COVID or paled in comparison to what we had back at home.

I think COVID will have a long lasting impact on what I value in this world. I'd rather just spend time with people I care about, doesn't really matter where.

rektide
People like Jackbox, and I'm glad they do, but I want to provide some dissent. I really do not like these games, at all. I love playful competition, but this is droll, meaningless, soulless direct competition to me. It doesn't feel fun at all. I don't feel like I'm participating in a game with other people, I feel like I'm being measured. I do not like Jackbox. Again, I'm glad other people have a good experience. But I'd also like to share the perspective that it doesn't work for everyone, that some folks (myself at least) find it really offputting & un-enjoyable.
candiddevmike
I've played jackbox with all kinds of people. Certain games definitely work better for different types of groups (close friends, mixed, family, etc). I think there are some that do really well universally: quiplash, fibbage, murder trivia/you don't know jack. Have you tried those?

Any of the drawing ones you really have to read the room. They can get really awkward if only part of the group wants to draw inappropriate stuff.

rubyist5eva
Getting a fully remote job. Gave me the flexibility to leave the city and buy a home near my friends and family more in the "rural" areas of the country. Did not enjoy living in the city with a new baby, not one bit. The more close-knight community life, slower-pace and more flexible work-life balance is much more my style.
newman8r
kayaking and camping/overlanding. Would love to get some west coast HNers together for an overlanding trip later this year after everyone's had their vaccinations.
jcpst
Hadn’t heard the term overlanding before. I enjoyed learning about it.
riffraff
I had to stop my daily run/walk routine because of some problems with my foot, but I've been able to restart after getting foot support.

I couldn't run again, but I still love my morning walk+audiobook.

whalesalad
I take my German Shepherd on a 3+ mile walk every other day. I’ve been doing this for a few months now and it’s usually the highlight of my day. I love her so much.