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To me, mirrorless format is superior. Anyone buying a new camera is probably taking a look at the newer models.
I shoot (or used to) with a DSLR, but I have to say that mirrorless is just superior. Much less bulky, fewer moving components to break, better performance.

You can pry my shutter sound from my cold, dead hands, though.

> You can pry my shutter sound from my cold, dead hands, though.

Luckily sounds are easy to synthesize.

> I have to say that mirrorless is just superior

I think for the most part I'd agree with you, there's definitely a lot of upsides in mirrorless systems, especially in terms of flexibility. I will say though that the screens in mirrorless EVFs are often lackluster in comparison to optical view finders in my opinion. In particular frame rate of the EVF is problematic for me.

Yes, this is true. Unfortunately, the screen (and the power usage that comes with it) is one of the downsides, though it's nice that you can overlay things like histograms directly on the EVF.
Mine still makes a satisfying click if you're using the mechanical shutter. The electronic shutter just sounds weird, though.
I have a friend with a Canon full frame camera whose mirror/shutter is dying. Cost too much to service for an old camera, but a Canon full frame mirrorless being too expensive, for them.

Is the only Canon full frame mirrorless the R5?

I always suggest the Sony full frame cameras, is there a good EF mount adapter for a professional photographer? A lot of adapters I've seen between brands and mounts end up slowing down the lenses or have some other compromise.

And without adapters, people seem to be vendor-locked and in a toxic marriage with a camera manufacturer that pretty much requires becoming a fanboy or whatever the non-gendered derogatory term for fanboy is.

Solutions aside from selling everything?

No, there really aren’t good solutions - as you note adapters are often far from ideal.

Thankfully I didn’t buy that much glass because Sony has been the clear leader in full frame mirrorless cameras for some time now. If I ever did decide to go back into prosumer photography in a big way I probably would just write off the Canon lenses I have - I only have a handful but it would be probably about $5K now that I think about it. Eeek!

There are several Canon full frame mirrorless cameras other than the R5. There is the R6, which starts at $2,500 for the body. There is also the older R, and the least expensive RP, which starts at $999 for the body only.

The last two are probably going to be replaced this year with newer and either cheaper and/or more feature-packed models.

Note that also the Canon mirror less cameras do not have the same mount as the Canon DSLRs, and an adapter is also needed.
wow.

any performance reviews of those adapters? like, I know how to read reviews but what is the collective opinion?

You're looking for an EF to EOS R mount adapter. I think the general consensus on adapters is overall positive, but you will be making some slight concessions in autofocus performance and image quality pending the specific adapter/lens combo. It really comes down to what kind of photographer you are and how important super fast autofocus is.
Purchasing older models on the second hand market is generally a decent option if you're looking to get a better price to performance ratio.
I’m shocked Sony still made SLRs - if I was going to get another camera of that style it would have been a Sony full frame mirrorless.