Ask HN: How did an adult ADHD diagnosis help you?

I've been on medication for about a week now and I've not thought about offing myself once since starting. That seems dramatic but honestly that used to be the default go-to answer for any problem that couldn't be resolved within a day or so. Seems a bit excessive of a response to problems now.. It really looks like my depression might be rooted in undiagnosed ADHD.

I can also if not properly focus on tasks at least force myself to finish whatever I'm working on before wandering off. I'm going to give it another week then ask for a bump on the dosage to see if that helps that one

Negatives:

Sweating a bunch, especially at night. Then again we are just about cruising into summer and in my old place I had aircon so that might be unrelated, but it is a possible side effect.

Appetite seems to have taken a hit too. While I am fully for that (I could lose a bit of weight no bother) I will keep an eye on it

Due to covid restrictions I've not been seen for talky therapy or anything yet, this is purely medicinal treatment currently but it's been a MASSIVE positive move for me

What are the symptoms of adult ADHD?

> how would this help me...

File this under Know Thyself.

You may not actually need the professional diagnosis to confirm this hunch. Moving forward, assume it’s likely true.

Incidentally, Peter Shankman has an excellent podcast where he interviews people with ADHD from all walks of life. > https://www.fasterthannormal.com/a-special-love-w-shauna-dan...

> I went to my therapist to handle a lingering family issue and now we've come up to the ADHD talk

Ditch your therapist.

There could be consequences, btw. Like being barred from getting a pilots license in US if you'd ever acquire a taste for flying for example.

I got a diagnosis after two failed marriages, a stalled career, issues around emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity.

The diagnosis, and resulting treatment, changed my life.

Not sure it will help you given you don't seem to be suffering from it.

No real help in many countries because Adderal and Desoxyn are completely illegal in the most. In fact the only thing that really helped me were small amounts of meth which is legally available (in the USA only) as Desoxyn. 1/4 Xanax + 1200mg piracetam combo also did nice job but every time I tried it Xanax felt having notably less effect. So, for some time, I settled with nicotine-heavy vape which made me at least slightly productive.

seeking diagnosis but seems very likely from professionals ive been assessed by.

just a note, i’m not looking for feedback or criticism of these things im experiencing.

accepting i might have adhd helped me in a few ways:

1. i could stop being quite so hard on myself for fucking up (usually organisational stuff)

2. i’ve started separating the parts of my identity i took on as an explanation for my needs (e.g low frustration threshold means i need minimalism and convenience). which is useful because now im starting to see what i “need” to function well and what i actually value.

3. ive started to build my life in ways that enable me to overcome stuff. e.g i thought i was very introverted and need alone time (and it turns out i am and do) but i need things to help me engage with boring tasks and other people are so engaging. so now i try to book in time to pair on boring tasks.

5. i absolutely cannot live without a todo list and a calendar. of i do not write it down, it is gone. i can finally accept this and stop trying to get better at remembering things.

there are numerous other things too that i will likely think of / discover as time passes.

So my take maybe isn't the healthiest on this, not sure.

If you believe you have ADHD, and your therapist believes you have ADHD, BUT your life isn't negatively impacted by it, why start treatment now?

Ask yourself if you have any negative impacts from ADHD. Ask your spouse. Personal relationships, professional work, all aspects. If the answer is no, then why bother?

Source: ADHD treatments that left me a zombie when all I really needed was therapy and help to figure out realistic, functional coping mechanisms.

I got it, got the medication (and it helped a ton). Then the next doctor said the last doctor was completely wrong. Now I have something completely different (and very different medication, which also helps but not quite in the same way). If you do get one I would urge you to carefully consider whether or not you want further investigation after that, especially if you're outside the norm mentally. Every new doctor you get will question every doctor you've ever had and want to redo everything, which takes a ton of time. Expect every doctor to add 12 months delay to whatever treatment you might to get.

That said, getting help at all if you have no other choice (i.e. you are objectively incapable of functioning) is a good idea. The real challenge lies in knowing when to call it a day :)

An adhd diagnosis helped me a lot in my late 20s.

I took Ritalin for a brief period and it opened my eyes to different ways of seeing things. I actually believe in Ritalin more than adhd diagnoses. But it stopped being effective for me after a while, and same for most people i know. Also, side effects. But getting perspective helped me change certain behaviors which were causing problems for me.

But honestly, and this is very forward to say, I would stop seeing this therapist. I have had similar experiences to you, where I try to go to a therapist for one thing, and they send me down some other road entirely. This has never been helpful. Generally it has been destructive. Therapists are like everyone else, in that many of them aren’t that good. And just like how a bad mechanic can cost you money and ruin your car, so can a bad or even mediocre therapist screw up your life. Seriously. Don’t be pushed into some random diagnosis by some therapist who has some idea in their head.

I'd recommend everyone who thinks he or she has ADHD to keep in mind that there are clinics who literally make money by diagnosing you. So make sure you don't go to one of those. This is a problem, even in the Netherlands https://www.trouw.nl/zorg/in-de-adhd-fabriek-is-de-diagnose-... I wish I could find a translated version for you.

Anyways, Methlyphinidate (ritalin) should be your very LAST step. Before that, clean up your workspace, disable distracting apps on your phone and computer, use a site blocker... And consider that a lack of discipline is not caused by ADHD.

I speak with experience here, because I was "diagnosed" with this "mental illness" before it was cool, about two decades ago, when the teachers noted I couldn't pay attention in class. Took ritalin for about a decade. Always thought I had trouble concentrating, like I was told right? Well, a few years ago I rented an office space with a friend of mine, just the two of us in a very spacious (100m2), light and well-ventilated office. We received no phone calls, there were no people walking in, or cats and girlfriends asking for attention. I had less distractions than I had at home, and much less than in a traditional office. And it was a dedicated area for "work". A comfortable desk and chair, two monitors and a fast pc. Having worked in such a proper environment, I will never say I have trouble concentrating again.

Anyways, what exactly do you think you have to gain by being "diagnosed" with ADHD?

I was diagnosed about a year ago (I'll be 34 tomorrow).

I went to the therapist to ~figure out if~ confirm that I was on the Autism spectrum, and they pointed out that it sounded like there was some ADHD too, so it was something very unexpected for me. In hindsight, very obvious too.

It's been very insightful. On the more personal side, it's helped me understand a lot about my life and why so many things went they way they went. It's now clear that some teachers were _hinting_ the issue at my parents in school, but they never picked up on that.

On a more practical side, medication has helped a lot in focusing better and work and alike. However, it IS a tool, and you need to learn to use it. Having ADHD is like aiming your attention at things with a shotgun, and medication turns that into a sniper -- you can direct your focus very well, but it takes some training to learn _how_ to do that.

It's also important to balance it out. I take far less on the weekends since that helps wind down a lot.

I came across this youtube channel recently which is pretty interesting. It's always useful to hear how others have dealt with the same struggles: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q

Having a diagnosis gives you the option to try medication of several varieties that are not otherwise legally available to you in the US.

For some people the medications Just Work, with no negative side effects. If they do that for you it could be a big win, but one you can't safely or lawfully test without getting a diagnosis.

It also gives you a well-defined problem statement for tackling the "lingering family issue" and for communicating with your family about differences between your neurological wiring and theirs that all of you need to cope with, if you do come up with a diagnosis.

I'm fascinated.

> I am in the later half of an adventurous and successful career. I continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good savings, great life.

This passage could describe me as well, but as I look back on high school and college I've become convinced that if I'd been born 10-15 years later I would have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD (I don't know if the 'hyperactivity' part is a distinction psychologists make anymore.) I struggled in school but in an unusual way: I got As in some classes and Cs (or worse!) in others.

In school balancing my attention between more than three different classes was an impossible and mystifying task, but generating very intent focus on a few very interesting things was easy (e.g. programming, playing guitar). In college, I found myself dropping down to the minimum full-time course load often, and I envied my friends at schools on the quarter system who took only three classes at a time over shorter terms.

When I started working as a programmer, I found things much easier, had fewer things to divide my focus between, and could arrange my work (mostly) as I pleased, and I had a lot of success. I also discovered coffee, and looking at my coffee consumption over the years, one might reasonably conclude I'm self-medicating with stimulants. Even now, this XKCD resonates with me: https://xkcd.com/1106/

I'm moderately curious about whether I would be diagnosed, in the spirit of self-knowledge, but I don't feel the need to engage professional help to figure it out.

Don’t listen to the therapist. Find a new one.

It's important to note that an ADHD diagnosis does not necessarily end with stimulant medication. Stimulant medication can be helpful for some people, but it's not the only way to treat ADHD. Having an ADHD diagnosis could help you choose appropriate therapy methods, self-help practices, and other self-improvement measures. Of course, an ADHD diagnosis isn't necessary to begin implementing better time management practices, so I'd suggest addressing any issues you might have with time management, time boxing, and organization whether or not you have an ADHD diagnosis.

When it comes to stimulant medication anecdotes, it's important to separate them by how long the person has been taking the medication. You'll get very different answers from people who have been taking stimulants for 1 month, 1 year, or 10 years. One of the side effects (key phrase: side effect) of the first few weeks or months of stimulant medication is a sense of euphoria and extra motivation. Be careful, because this effect fades with time.

In general, I'd recommend focusing on anecdotes from people who have been treated for at least 1 year or more, while taking any reports from someone who just started medication with a huge grain of salt. In particular, I'd recommend ignoring any reports from people who are taking excessively high doses of stimulants, dosing stimulants sporadically ("as needed" isn't standard practice), or who just started taking a stimulant medication. The realities of decades of prescription stimulant have pros and cons, which aren't apparent in the first few weeks or months.

Also beware that some psychiatrists greatly overdiagnose certain conditions. Unfortunately, some practitioners are known to overdiagnose their pet condition, from depression to ADHD to anxiety. If a practitioner is pushing you toward a diagnosis or treatment you don't feel comfortable with, don't hesitate to get a second opinion.

I am medicated for ADHD, and my goal is to one day get off the meds, maybe in 5-10 years. Sounds like you've been functioning pretty well without them, which is a great reason NOT to start.

Have you gotten any encouragement from people in your life to investigate ADHD, or is it just this therapist? I was encouraged by teachers and loved ones to look into it starting in grade 2, finally got a diagnosis about 5 years back.

Before my diagnosis, ADHD was my kryptonite. I thought I was lazy, I couldn’t accomplish the things I needed to. It pushed me into depression and was quite hard.

After my diagnosis, I felt like ADHD became my superpower. I know how to play to my strengths rather than my weaknesses. I know if I have an interest in something, I can dive into it and produce great output, and for tasks that need doing which aren’t interesting, I have coping mechanisms and medication if necessary.

I spoke to my doctor last year about this, was referred to a therapist, and was diagnosed (I’m a bit younger (32) and like you continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good savings, great life. There were a lot of signs, but primarily I had trouble staying focused even for a few minutes. To have a productive morning and not get derailed, I would need to have an app like Routinery to walk me through what I needed to do step by step before work.

I decided against medication for a few reasons, but to deal with it is a daily exercise. I have to put up guardrails or I can lose hours / day with distracted activity. I find it’s tightly correlated to how much time I spend on technology.

Meditation, prayer, down time from technology (physical news paper and Economist in the mornings) all help to start the day focused. I’m considering re-arranging the house to have a room dedicated to technology and everything else in the house be low-tech, higher quality forms of recreation (books, musical instruments, board games, etc). That will, in theory, allow me to put time boundaries on how often I’m around technology. Another big thing I did was stop drinking. I did an A/B test at the start of 2020 - 2 months not drinking followed by 4 months of drinking, and by June I decided I was done. I still taste different things if my wife has one or I’m making drinks for others, but haven’t had a full drink since last June. NA beers have been great.

Books that helped me: make time, essentialism, digital minimalism, (an extreme but easy read recommended on here) - “better off”

Part of my hesitancy for medicine was that I didn’t want it rooted in self-improvement / optimization. I think there was some burn out mixed in and I was looking for the next step to optimization with medicine. I figured it would be better to fix the system rather than over-optimize for what I was doing. If I can’t naturally deal with it, then maybe I shouldn’t be running that hard.

If I get two-three hours of focus now per day it’s great.

Perfect is the enemy of the good, and I am generally happy and see no need for that much optimization. If it was really impacting my work and life, I’d reconsider medicine.

It's helped me understand the pros and cons of an ADHD diagnosis, it good to know that you're not alone in a sea of neurotypical people. It's helpful to understand ADHD and share your learning with people who are close to you. For me and it seems like you as well, the challenge hasn't been with work and life in general but more with relationships with people closest to me - read up on RSD. It's also fun to understand all those coping mechanisms you've developed over the years. Use it as an opportunity to learn and explore.

I had a neuropsych evaluation (the neurological test) in my early 20's. It confirmed my diagnosis of ADHD and dyscalculia.

If you don't believe you're negatively impacted with ADHD type symptoms, it probably won't help you. It did help me manage the 'cycle of anxiety' brought on by ADHD-induced lack of focus and procrastination.

Stimulant medications do help, I'm on Concerta which is an extended release methylphenidate (Ritalin). It is not magic. I see a therapist to help with accountability and manage the chronic anxiety as well as develop systems to help me block my time and limit distractions.

Can you all recommend any science-based books/videos/etc that one could use to improve their ADHD?

I'm a successful 33 year old adult in a career ideally suited to the way my brain works, so I was VERY skeptical about whether it would make any difference to my life to get diagnosed or go on meds. Now that I have, I can confidently say that it was a total game-changer and I wish my parents had gotten this done for me when I was a kid. It would've made so many things so much easier.

I currently only use my meds (specifinally, Vyvanse) once per week, because I don't love the side effects and I can manage fine without most of the time. On that one day per week, I do everything that my brain chemistry usually makes difficult, which is mostly paperwork and cleaning.

The difference it's made is HUGE. I went through a whole grieving process when I realized how much easier I could've had it all along. I can sit down, spend four hours doing my taxes, and then be done (and then realize the bathroom needs cleaning, and also do that), instead of sitting down, getting a snack, doing ten minutes of taxes, cuddling with the cat, starting a conversation, going on hacker news, doing ten minutes of taxes, going on hacker news, and finally finishing the taxes ten hours later at a quarter to midnight.

It's also made a huge difference to accept that some things are simply symptoms, and not signs that I'm a disorganized failure who'd too stupid to manage daily life. It's also helped to live with people who know and accept this about me, and who know that although I'm very good at managing my symptoms, sometimes things go wrong.

Yes, sometimes everyone is mildly inconvenienced because we were about to leave and now I have to go on a ten-minute WHERE IS MY WALLET tear through the house. It's fine! Sometimes, we're mildly inconvenienced because my girlfriend's insulin pumped is clogged and she needs to spend ten mins fussing with the catheter. These are things that happen when you have a chronic health condition, and no reason for anyone to get upset or berate anyone else. Accepting that has made me a much happier person.

I was diagnosed once as a kid, and again as a teenager. I was prescribed medication just as fast as I was diagnosed. In either case it hasn't helped, as it concerns my focus. In fact I quite often felt worse when I relied on these later on. What it helped was to ascertain that I do not in fact have ADHD, and to learn that the diagnosis process is a complete joke.

My issue was primarily of chronic fatigue from inadequate sleep through my teen years, informed in part by high levels of anxiety and stress at home. Conversely as a kid, diagnosis came recommended by a teacher (!) because I was "daydreaming in class" - that's it. Details of my fatigue were made aware to the psychiatrist I was sent to at the time, but perhaps because I was scheduled for focus/attention issues, it was completely ignored.

I eventually regained my focus in adulthood, after pain and trepidation, with a multi-pronged approach that included reinvigorating sleep, reducing my anxiety levels, and diet / regular exercise.

Make no mistake: this is not to proselytize that "ADHD doesn't exist". But I would put it to you that since there is a perverse incentive to diagnose it, it's diagnosed as though everything is a nail in North America. There should be more credence given to the possibility that focus issues can be symptomatic of other problems.

I also find it dubious that children can so easily be diagnosed by virtue that a long day of boring lectures and sitting still is difficult to pay attention to. This is almost ubiquitous among children, though yes, it will exacerbate things more among kids who have more of a difficulty with focus. This brings to mind the story of Gillian Lynne, choreographer for Cats, who was brought to the doctor for her fidgeting - he suggested she go to dance school where she excelled. Why is it unthinkable that certain children be allowed to flourish in more appropriate environments? Because they're an inconvenience to adults - that's all. It's not less virtuous to be a person drawn to more physical engagement with the world.

Also see: A Disease Called Childhood: Why ADHD became an American Epidemic, by Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D.