Ask HN: I'm So Lonely

314 points by DevToRecruiter ↗ HN
I don't know if this is the right place for this but here are my stats. I'm a 32yo male, divorced with 2 kids whom I have little access to at the moment. My childhood friendships have withered, my divorce left me untrusting of women (at least for now). I work alone and don't have many opportunities to meet new people organically.

The thing is I don't even like hanging out with people most of the time but I get into this space where it feels like a biological necessity.

Does anyone have any tips on how to give myself attention? Or, in other words, how can I learn to be alone without feeling lonely? I feel like I need this lifeskill in order to proceed in my life.

I have a pattern of loneliness pushing me into making very foolish decisions.

253 comments

[ 4.1 ms ] story [ 302 ms ] thread
> I have a pattern of loneliness pushing me into making very foolish decisions.

What are you doing to foolishly solve your loneliness? Might give us an idea of what specifically makes you lonely.

When I get lonely, I talk myself into making decisions that are not smart. I know I'm making the decision irrationally but I feel helpless to do anything about it. It's like I watch myself make the horrible decision, knowing it s a horrible decision but doing it anyway usually because it'll provide some relief from the loneliness. The most impactful foolish decision I made is getting married to a woman I knew was bad for me.
I don't suggest you try to adapt to being alone so much. I suggest you get more people around you.

1. Use your health insurance to get a therapist. This is a good outlet and can make you more socially attractive since you won't be carrying around as much unspoken weight.

2. Work really hard to get more people around you. The world is opening up after Omicron. Be resourceful. Make a list of all the various in-person social outlets you can find and start going to them.

3. Get "How to Win Friends and Influence People" on Audible and listen to that repeatedly until you've grokked it.

4. Open yourself up to being friends with people you might not think you could be friends with. Right now you're in need--don't be too picky, within reason.

I believe in you. You can get more people in your life.

Thanks for the kind words. The resistance I'm up against is that I feel like I'm just using people to alleviate the loneliness. It feels manipulative and inauthentic. Like I'm putting on a show in order to attract companionship. Thats why i want to learn how to be alone without being lonely, it frees me up to connect authentically.
Or - accept that you'll be "inauthentic" for a while as you get back on your feet. Attract companionship and let it help you get back on the path to self acceptance. It's not a bad thing to rely on people and let them help you, even if you have to hide parts of yourself.
I think the “it feels like” or similar is telling me have expectations of how social interaction should behave, how it should be motivated, etc. have you considered if your expectations actually match with reality, or if it’s reasonable to hold these expectations? A therapist might be able to help you navigate this.

(If I were to be honest, my plain question is “what is wrong with enjoying human company just because human company is enjoyable?”. It’s like saying it’s manipulative to eat to resolve hunger to me, as if every meal should be some Michelin star experience or starvation.)

Thats a great point! I suppose I'm trying to avoid feeling like a pos for potentially feeling like I wasted my time if the social interaction didn't alleviate my loneliness. So i do have unhealthy expectations that need to be examined further. Thanks for point that out.
You’re welcome and I would also suggest digging into where those feelings you mentioned to me came from and why you’re protecting yourself from them (by avoiding socializing/telling yourself reasons not to socialize). Good luck out there! I hope you find peace.
I think as a child my mom often asked me if I had friends at school in this worried tone. I suppose I made a decision to hide parts of myself in order to have friends. And it worked for years, up until I got married and realized I've been lying to myself about who I am. I made a person that I thought other people would like. I'm finding that the real me is actually not only not appreciated but not tolerated, in my family and what was once my circle of friends. So, I find myself, first the first time in my life, trying to build relationships from an authentic place in my 30's.
i pay attention how my kids are doing with their friends, but i am not showing them how worried i am. if they have trouble with their friends or they want more friends then we talk about it and look for activities that provide opportunities for new friendships.
I wonder if doing some activities that are authentic for you, and in a way that is authentic for you, would help meet similar people - as fellow-travellers, rather than focusing on "companionship" in itself. Could be favourable growing conditions for organic companionship. And some people like to be around people who are authentic and exercising self-determination.
The base desire for human connection is a completely legitimate and accepted reason to talk to someone. There’s nothing manipulative about that motivation. It’s probably the same reason the person is talking to you.
Another way to think of it is that you're offering companionship to other people.

Your not the only lonely person around!

>The resistance I'm up against is that I feel like I'm just using people to alleviate the loneliness. It feels manipulative and inauthentic. Like I'm putting on a show in order to attract companionship. Thats why i want to learn how to be alone without being lonely, it frees me up to connect authentically.

I think I'm missing something here. Isn't this what friends are for? I call up (nonromantic) friends and be like, "I'm kind of lonely, wanna hang out?" That's not 'using people'. I don't feel used if a friend wants to hang in person or in Discord because they're feeling lonely.

You're right. I think you just pointed out a deep belief I currently hold regarding connecting with other people. I don't have it right. When I used to have friends in my late 20's, I didn't need a reason to hang. I don't know why I feel like I do now.
isn't that where hobbies come in? or volunteering for some cause? or something like that. whenever i joined a group it was always the hobby/cause/etc that was the reason for me to be there. not just the people. that also helps to deal with people in that group that you don't get along with. you are not there because of them. but it's the shared experience of achieving something together that helps build friendships.
Just another person here saying that this is indeed what friends are for, and isn't manipulative in whatever negative sense usually applies - in case enough people saying it will eventually convince the monkey brain.

Consider reading _The Elephant In The Brain_, by Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson; its central thesis is that almost everything we do (including charity, art, lifting, laughing, hundreds of things) is ultimately about signalling things to other people, usually to make ourselves look good or desirable in some way. In that sense, everything we do is manipulative. Embrace it! There really are no "pure" motives.

You feel that way now, but humans are social creatures. Interacting with others will change how you feel.
It feels inauthentic because at first you don't actually care about some random person, but if a series of events happened, you would actually care about such-and-such a person. How can we have a series of events happen in a normal, unforced way that would take us from one state to the other?
> The resistance I'm up against is that I feel like I'm just using people to alleviate the loneliness. It feels manipulative and inauthentic. Like I'm putting on a show in order to attract companionship. Thats why i want to learn how to be alone without being lonely, it frees me up to connect authentically.

I have a similar perspective: And what I've learned is that the core is compassion (and love): Compassion for yourself first, and compassion for others. Learn to be open with yourself about how you actually feel, not just the safe emotions but most of all the ones you hide from - compassion is for the sins, not the easy happy stuff. And have compassion for them and for yourself; it's a hard life, and loneliness can be the worst. Again, compassion isn't for the saints or perfect, it's for the serious faults we all carry, the humanity; I suspect the forgiveness of some religions is tied to that need. First be our own companions. How can we connect authentically, genuinely to others if we aren't authentic with ourselves?

Looking for others to relieve our loneliness, as you note, is just objectifying them (I don't mean to be absolute; you don't need to be an ascetic). Learn how to supply that love you need from the inside and not only will you be much less lonely, having your closest companion always with you, inseperable by the events of the outside world, but also that love and compassion will grow in you and be something you can share; it transforms how you feel about, perceive, and connect to others.

maybe work on a personal project also seek help from a doctor(?)

edit: try to join a local meet up group like hiking and go whenever to meet/chat with people

Church.

If you have never been religious before: go to a Catholic church. They exist almost specifically to solve this problem.

Unitarian Universalist is another option.
As is Quaker meeting. I'm deeply involved in mine, and it has been essential for my emotional well-being over (at least) the past couple years.
Can you share more about what Quaker meetings are like?
Worth mentioning that I know a surprisingly high number of atheist Catholics.
I'm curious, is this someone who goes through the liturgy but doesn't have a faith?
Essentially. I know a bunch in other religions as well as it is their social group.
It took me a long time to reconcile how people can claim they belong to a religion, yet proclaim their assumptions are contrary to said religion as well as exhibit inconsistent behavior.

I was probably almost mid 20s before I realized people simply need an excuse to form and maintain tribal bonds, similar to how a birthday, anniversary, house warming, or other ritual provides an excuse to get together. I wish someone had explained this to me sooner.

Yeah, most of my mom’s family is like this. They don’t believe in most on the heaven and hell stuff literally but see Catholicism as part of their cultural identity as Irish-Americans
Not sure if this the same experience as the person you asked the question of, but I went to Catholic school growing up, altar boy, youth group, the whole works. And I'd consider myself atheist, or agnostic maybe is better. But I call myself "culturally Catholic" because so much of how I grew up is still a part of me: a focus on finding universality in experience ("catholic" christian historically grew out of an attempt to find universality in the christian belief, and I think today amid globalization it still does that remarkably well); an impulse toward social justice; a tolerance of hypocrisy and inconsistency.

And like the prior poster said, many/most Catholics disagree with the Pope--I think something like 85% of American Catholics disagree with the official views on birth control and abortion and homosexuality--but that doesn't stop us from calling ourselves Catholic.

Not at all unusual - though I think of it as more common in Judaism, where the cultural heritage is much more important than the religion for many people.
Look up Jonathan Pageau. Also checkout Tom Holland's "Dominion".

A "Christian Atheist" is a modern phenomenon, and our materialist culture is the heart of that perspective and one that's deeply misunderstood and flawed.

I'd argue St. Paul and other biblical era scholars would find a western atheist not only very Christian, but also having a very childish and ignorant understanding of reality.

When everything is a thing, we have no room to see the fractal nature of happenings through time and synchronicity up and down layers of abstraction. Reality is just as much an interactive story between narrative and conscious threads as it is space/time, matter/energy. We've lost the first personal perspective of that with our modern "atheism".

I just want to say this is a great summary of the predicament of modern atheism. (I watch Pageau’s videos regularly and am halfway through the book Dominion.)
I agree that this is worth considering. We Christians mess up a whole lot and there's a good share of bad theology out there. But if nothing else we value people, community, and relationships more than the average.
This ^. Just meet some random folks and go bowling with them.
A good friend of mine predicts that loneliness will cause a resurgence in religion among Gen Z for this reason.
Of course, when times get hard people repent.
Or find non-religious mass around your area. They exist in many cities now and you don't have to commit to some spiritual idea.
Unitarian ones are nice. I’m not very religious but went on sundays for a while just as something to do/an excuse to get out of the house. They don’t care what you believe, and just exist to celebrate each other.
I was a part of a non religious “atheist church” group like this until it turned into a polyamorous sex cult and then some people got jealous and metooed the leader, and one of the lead organizers became homeless because of severe mental health issues.

It was fun for like a year, though.

In some places, you attend church with your family and then leave.

In some other churches, people get to socialize more.

Out of utility, yes, church helps. When I was a non-christian, I tried church but walked out because it felt like a cult. What worked for me instead was just listening to enough Alan Watts to soften my spirituality, then hearing enough intellectual explanations about the Bible from Jordan Peterson's Bible lecture series, Jonathan Pageau's videos on symbolism, or Bible Project explainer videos. Then Church started making sense that the utility started meshing with its meaning.
More generally speaking, it is very likely that your cultural background has some link to a religious association. It could be a church, but it could also be a temple or a mosque or a synagogue. It is likely that the people there will receive you with kindness and warmth, although it may not be for you especially if you're gay/trans.
I like working in coffee shops. I feel social without having to interact much.
This.

I had a friend who was very lonely, borderline suicidal. Went to a coffee shop for the same reasons, just to be around people because he thought it would help. Started chatting up the staff when he was getting coffee. Soon he was a regular, but still very lonely.

Doesn't show up one day because he had a doctor's appointment or interview. Phone starts buzzing. It's the people at the coffee shop, checking in on him. They had gotten worried about him and wanted to check in and make sure he was ok. Legit made him break down and cry, realizing there were people who cared about him, cared enough to reach out to him when he didn't show up - meaning they were indeed paying attention to him and enjoyed him being there.

It took some more counseling to get him squared away, but that event completely changed his outlook on life. Sometimes when we get into dark places, a lot just goes by you until someone points it out.

It's a poor substitute, but it's what I have done: Devise a project that excites you, and submerge yourself in it. Do be aware that the years will pass by far more rapidly than you expect. It's temporizing, but sometimes you have to do that. I have found some success with a close friend with who I share a compelling interest. For me it's been fishing and prospecting for gold.
I'm sorry you're suffering. What you're going through is part of the human condition and nothing wrong with you. I'm glad you're thinking in terms of how to change yourself to be comfortable, rather than seeking advice on how to fix the world to be comfortable for you, which is not really possible.

I have done a simple practice for many years that alleviates all kinds of suffering, loneliness being just one common kind. It's described well in this book: https://library.dhammasukha.org/uploads/1/2/8/6/12865490/the...

The basic idea is this. You have to train the mind, a bit like how you'd train a puppy, except of course that you have a lot more material that needs to be configured, so it requires more patience. When the mind comes and disturbs you about something (usually with the intent to help you be a successful animal), you do some very simple steps to soothe the mind about that issue and reduce the likelihood of the mind bothering you about that again. In this way, you gradually get more and more peace and happiness that seems to come out of you, not in dependence on worldly circumstances.

May you be well, happy, and peaceful.

I agree that it makes sense to find a therapist.

I would also suggest that you look into joining a men's group. A lot of other men are experiencing (or have experienced) things that are similar to what you are going through, and it can be very helpful to be able to share your experience with people who have empathy and can help you through it in a healthy way.

> I have a pattern of loneliness pushing me into making very foolish decisions

That’s pretty unusual self awareness. Respect. Glad you’re asking for help.

Let me proffer some of the obvious suggestions: D&D type of gaming (not for me but my adult child has met many great people that way), going to the gym, yoga class, chamber of commerce, get involved with a charity that means something to you, start going to church.

Try talking to people but when I say talking I really mean listening with all your heart, and being interested in them. Everyone has a story. If you’re genuinely interested, they will reveal everything within a few minutes. my kids make gentle fun of me for interviewing people, but I just like to listen to what people are really saying and respond by learning more about them. (If you are sincere it will incidentally help you enormously with women.)

A slightly less obvious one: get really good at something. When I do this I shoot to be better than about 80% of people, which you can usually do with raw work and without requiring some kind of genetic superiority. If you do it right the process is rewarding, and the outcome is also rewarding. Get fluent at a challenging language like Chinese or Arabic? Work out enough to get fairly ripped? Give away something great on GitHub? You’re a recruiter if your username applies, and maybe just focus on making a lot of money? That sounds shallow and you don’t have to take it very seriously, but I have learned that getting better than most people at some kind of lucrative or socially valued skill just helped me enormously, and you can you can usually do that simply by working hard and with common sense. The reason I harp on this angle is that when you’re pretty darn good at something, it attracts people. And getting good at something usually requires that you take on multiple topics well at once, which makes you feel better about yourself.

You can reach out to me via the email address in my profile and we can chat if you want. I have no agenda but I’m a decent listener.

I’m really good at something and still suffer from devastating cosmic loneliness.

Don’t expect that putting 10,000 hours into something will solve any of your social issues.

Man, sorry to hear that. OP asked for tips and those were mine. For me, as example, being a good programmer took me to one of the top software companies in the world and I met wonderful people. It worked for me but I guess I should’ve been clearer that these are just my suggestions. My best to you.
May be you meet good people because of your other good qualities?

Or the other thing I thought you were going for- share your skill with people. For instance if you are a good photographer offer to take pics for Birthday parties or something. There’s your way to meet people.

> share your skill with people.

Fantastic idea. That also worked for me but I wasn’t smart enough to mention it. Thank you.

Thanks, I genuinely appreciate the sentiment.

My earlier reply was kind of blunt. My point was probably that one shouldn’t expect to solve personal issues by waiting for a turn in career or skills development. I lucked out in an unexpected way that put me in the 1%, with skills that happen to be in demand in the current frothy VC environment, and yet my emotional problems are exactly the same as ten years ago. Turns out it’s entirely orthogonal.

Wow, what a story. I never really lucked out. I am naturally good at absolutely nothing. Everything I do requires a ridiculous amount of effort and a hideously ugly learning process. It is literally embarrassing. Also I just fail a lot. I think maybe this makes the successes a little bit sweeter?
You are 100% right. Gaining a skill can lead to more social interaction (and/or a higher social status) but if you don’t have the skills to build and maintain personal relationships the extra interaction/status is wasted.
It's just one of several things that can help. Not a guaranteed miracle cure.

However, doing nothing is very likely to lead to nothing.

Thanks for the detailed response and the kind offer. I appreciate this advice especially the less obvious piece. The typical (hobbies, hang our in public places etc.) advice just haste historically worked for me however throwing myself into my business and keeping it as my number one goal has actually helped decrease my loneliness substantially. I didn't notice until you mentioned it but I vacillate between being ok with letting money driving me and feeling like above that nonsense. I'm currently in an "I'm above that" mode, which has allowed my mind has wander and loneliness to grow. Thanks for pointing this out, I appreciate it.
> I vacillate between being ok with letting money driving me

To me there has never been anything wrong with money being one of my motivations, although I always balanced it with family life and enjoyment of the job.

I worked two or three jobs a day for a generation so I could have enough money. I wasn’t safe when I grew up, and I have never felt “above that” ;) My kids grew up safe. Money means I can take care of my family’s substantial medical bills and have some reserve if things get wonky. It means my farm is completely paid off, no mortgage and no credit card debt. Having money saved meant that when I was fired from one gig I could take nine months off to level up my skills and get the best job of my life. Money meant that we could get a new roof when we needed one, as opposed to spending years when I was a kid with pots strategically located under holes in the ceiling during winter.

Nothing wrong with treating money like the valuable tool it is. To me it’s amazing that you are able to turn the spigot on and off (not being facetious).

The single best antidote I have personally found against loneliness is staying busy doing things I really care about. If you would prefer something outside of work/career/projects, there's almost certainly some kind of self-improvement To-Do list you've built-up. Why not start tackling it with gusto?
I just want to say, you are incredibly talented at your articulation of words and overall sentiment. I appreciate your comment.
> going to the gym

I know this is anecdata but for me going to the gym is great but is an antithesis of a place when you make new relationships. I was going to a gym and a swimming pool for a couple of years and I met zero new people - practically no any discussions except an occasional "Hi!".

A group tennis class or a soccer team or ultimate frisbee could be more useful.
Agreed. Much improved suggestion.
BJJ (and other martial arts) can also be good for developing social connections. You spar with a variety of people, and have the time before and after class to actually speak with them. You may have to hunt around for a good gym with a more positive community (I've had the pleasure of finding one, and the displeasure of being at one with people who took themselves too seriously), but it's pleasant.

But it's always better when the exercise itself is semi-social, not a solo activity. Cycling groups can work well or meeting people, but cycling on its own doesn't really help. Same with running and swimming.

It depends on the type of gym. I started Jiu Jitsu and I found the culture to be really friendly (mostly - there are obviously some people who are not friendly). If you're just lifting at Planet Fitness you're obviously not going to meet new friends. Any place that fills a smaller niche and has it's own culture is somewhere you can meet people though - martial arts, Crossfit, etc. Just pick a niche with a culture that you vibe with and dive in.
> going to the gym

Not that it matters, but I've never managed to make friends going to the gym. Still love going of course and its worth doing, but at least for me and the gym I go to, its not really a social space.

> start going to church

There are much better ways to beat loneliness. This only creates problem not just to the individual but to the society. Less religion is better.

There are Unitarian Universalist churches. I didn't like the vibe, but/because I think it works perfectly to what appears to be the target audience of people who cannot lie to themselves anymore about religion not being BS, but still want the social aspects of a church. But, it is a thing... people there are very kind in my experience. I though I was trying to be spiritual but the time I went was when I moved cities and was also pretty lonely for some time.
I'm not religious myself, but as I've grown I've also had to learn, ironically, that I'm not a god either - I'm not all-knowning about other people, about their beliefs, about their lives and experiences and needs. In fact, I'm very mortal; I know very little. I couldn't dismiss other people's beliefs as lies, but I see them as something beyond me, which I haven't yet grown to an understanding of. In the case of religion, I've come to understand it a little and some things it provides, things that human beings need. If I someday become religious, it won't be because of a lie.

I would hate to be religious on Hacker News and see my beliefs - maybe very important and personal to me, maybe the core my family and community - scorned and dismissed out of hand. In that respect, HN is not a place of wisdom, intellect, and learning.

Used to be on a similar spot as yours, I read some things that helped me much, I could share them with you if you want to.

If you want to exchange some words send me an email (check profile).

>my divorce left me untrusting of women

Don't. Good people exist and you deserve to be around them.

Hey. If you're feeling down and want to talk to someone, feel free to email me at IMAYousaf@gmail.com.

Always happy to talk :)

All human beings need social contact, we're social animals. I think introverted nerd-types sometimes convince themselves that it's not true for them because socialising is hard work and needing to do it is irrational, but guess what: being alive is irrational. So even if you don't especially enjoy being around other people you have to recognise that you need to do it, as much as you need to eat and drink and sleep (another irrational need).

Try work from a coffee shop, go to the gym, join a co-working space. These are all low pressure spaces where nobody really expects you to be actively sociable but you can still be around others.

There's a fair bit of projection in this comment as for a while I thought I didn't need to socialise (despite actually being somewhat extroverted) and went through something similar to you.

First off, you are not alone in feeling alone. 1 in 5 Americans reports that they have no friends. The reasons behind this are not "people are anti-social or introverts," but more a result of living in a world (especially in the US) where people move away from their family, change jobs frequently, often work freelance/gig jobs where hours don't align, get divorced, and live alone (28% of Americans live alone). This is my area of research and my work at the moment, so I could spout off all kinds of stats but one thing I can say is that it's really important to not ignore your feelings here- loneliness is like physical pain letting us know our needs are not being met.

To find a sense of belonging, you need 2 things. One is frequent positive interaction and the other is ongoing relationships where you feel cared about.

Our technology to date has worked against us here.

My recommendation is to find a community that you can start to interact with regularly. There are many that will welcome you, but also know it will take time before you start feeling like you belong- and just try to stick with it while it's uncomfortable.

Some ideas: 12-step programs, there are ones like Al-anon or CoDA where you don't have to have any substance issues yourself and deal more with relationships. Communities around people you admire, like Patreon communities that surround a particular artist or thought-leader. Or potentially Meetups, if they meet more regularly than once a month. Meditation groups or other spiritual communities tend to be fairly welcoming as well. Volunteering can be another avenue if the organization does something that is meaningful to you.

The most important aspect is that they have some kind of "meeting others" aspect and aren't just Discords or something where it's a lot of work to get to know people on any sort of personal level. In person or small video calls are good.

Above all, know that this is something that does take work, though social media makes it seem like people just have these great lives or you just need to join a Facebook group or something. But it's not impossible or complicated.

The weird thing is, the more you extend acceptance to other people in a group context, the more you'll find belonging in yourself. And give yourself as much of a break as you can here. You are noticing something isn't right and that's a really good self-reflexive step.

>> The reasons behind this are not "people are anti-social or introverts," but more a result of living in a world (especially in the US) where people move away from their family, change jobs frequently, often work freelance/gig jobs where hours don't align, get divorced, and live alone (28% of Americans live alone).

I'd never thought about systemic root causes this way. Thank you for frame this out at a social systems level.

I grew up in a medium-sized town where a lot of people, and most business people, were part of social organizations like Elk's Club, Rotary, bowling leagues, VFW, Knights of Columbus, softball teams, etc. I watched those social organizations wither as our city grew exponentially (from a surge of transplanted Californians driving our local tech renaissance and enjoying the relatively low property values), which seemed odd - more people should mean more members in these clubs? The way you frame it seems to explain this observation though - so many people moving in, dislocating the job market, being so far from family, etc. A by-product was the the death of those social clubs. Or maybe just the death of the existing social clubs I, as a local, was used to people joining as they came of age in our business and social community.

And of course, I eventually moved for school.... So I left my local Rotary Club and softball team...

Another relevant statistic here is the general decline in membership in those kinds of clubs and associations. As Robert Putnam called out in “Bowling Alone,” men are more affected by these changing trends in some ways, since men are socialized to be “self-sufficient” (despite lots of evidence that there is not really a biological difference in need for connection nor in ability for empathy).
Volunteer or Work parttime (like uber or coffeeshop or backend of a reatiler). light work, social group to interact with in a hands off manner.

A pet also do wonders to mental health BTW.

I don't get lonely. About 20 years ago, I decided to focus on something every time I felt a negative emotion. I did this extremely consistently, and worked most negative emotion out of my emotional repertoire in 3 or 4 years, and nearly completely in about 6 or 7 years. I have almost no negative emotion left in my emotional repertoire.

I'd study a wall, or a blade of grass. I'd thrust my attention on whatever I could find. You always have something you can focus on. I usually had a book with me.

However, I don't feel much positive emotion, possibly related, and I don't know that I necessarily recommend eliminating loneliness. That might work like cutting off the power to your smoke alarms--just kill the pain sensors and let the problem fester.

This sounds really unhealthy? Like you’re refusing to acknowledge the negative emotion and suppressing it?

I’ve run across some folks over the years who did this a lot, and they tended to explode when sometime did push past/overwhelm it.

Sounds like a distraction strategy
you could focus on you...

Pick a new exercise (cycling ? mountain climbing?)

Pick a new skill to learn (drawing/painting/3d modelling in blender)

Woodworking/metal working (the creative hobbies of making something tangible is great for the soul assuming we have one)

read, then once you get into your reading groove, read in strange places.

I’m right there with you. My contact info is on my page if you want to talk. I am currently getting ready for bed but would happily get back to you tomorrow.

My friends all had kids and moved away and I feel… lost. My wife works nights, and I spend my nights alone. I don’t know what I’m even doing anymore, and with work from home having not seen my coworkers in two years… I am alone.

Just a small suggestion that can help a little bit, a (legit) massage therapist. The need for human touch is real when lonely, even non-romantic non-sexual therapeutic touch. It doesn't have to just be because you've got a muscle pull in your shoulder.
This is a good one not mentioned often enough.
(comment deleted)
Go to the gym. Regularly. You'll feel better from the exercise, and start meeting other regulars. This can be a regular gym, climbing gym, whatever. It'll help.
Join a meetup for people with similar interests. http://www.meetup.com

Twitch can also be good to hang out with random people doing random things. Streams with a small audience let you interact with people more.

You can search for local events in your area using http://eventbrite.com or others.

You can volunteer at an animal shelter, etc.

You can also get a pet. Just don't get a bird as they scream all the time.

> Join a meetup for people with similar interests. http://www.meetup.com

This was helpful for me. I joined some groups doing hikes and bike rides in the woods around town. Found I could chose how social to be, be it chatting a lot or just along for the ride.

Hey sometimes all you need is just one anchor point.

Do you have hobbies that you ceased to practice for whatever reason? Kids, career.

Maybe this is the time to pick it up again. Engage however you like, interact with the community when you feel like.

There's a lot of good advice here. But one thing I could say is just to start by being in more places that don't always require a 1on1 interaction constantly. That could be a gym (mentioned a few times) or just being outdoors with more people around (not just alone on a trail). I generally feel a little better about my "one-ness" sometimes after just being around human beings a bit more. And then who knows something more may come from it from time to time. GOOD LUCK