Ask HN: Are things getting more convenient but less satisfying?

225 points by agomez314 ↗ HN
I read a post on HN recently where a guy in his teens used to visit a construction site to watch how peopled worked and even help them for small fee. Now he could just watch a YouTube video about it in 10 different ways but the experience differs in that the workers used to treat him well and converse with him, which obviously made him a deep impression.

So I'd be interested to generalize this: with things getting more and more digital and disembodied (ahem, ChatGPT), does it produce convenience at the expense of contentment?

209 comments

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It certainly is. I can keep thousands of books on Kindle and read any at any time but there is something very enjoyable about reading a deadtree book that is just missing from the Kindle experience.
Part of it is that manually flipping through pages gives me a better mental model of the location of the information and thus its relatedness. For (good) textbooks I still prefer a hard copy to a pdf and I have a huge e reader so it’s not even about the formatting of the display.
Digitalization and disembodiment per se do not decrease my contentment. After all, touching and holding an great piece of engineering that is a computer or a phone is not that different from touching and enjoying any other physical object.

It's the ease with which digitalization and disembodiment open avenues for eroding my ownership of things and for making my things actively work against me that decrease my contentment.

Kindle is a great example. I like the hardware, I love being able to haul a lot of books around and not break my back, but I loathe Store UI part that is being pushed to me all the time.

Yeah... sitting in front of screens all day makes us forget we are highly developed animals first, then rational minds second (or third). Out “lower” instinctual selves who crave that sensual/physical experience are never fully satisfied/soaked within that disembodied life.

Also, Modern civilization is making a lot of things "frictionless". Less friction is indeed more convenient. However, it makes us forget that a lot of "real-life" frictions (difficulties, challenges, Human interactions...) are what make us grow. Our "higher selves” who crave that "personal growth" are never contented with that bland/rippleless experience.

So, we are left in the middle in superficial satisfaction and security, with deep fulfilment (both lower and higher) always out of reach. I wonder if the "mental illness" epidemic has something to do with this, as a psychological mechanism to get us out of our virtual stupor.

> Also, Modern civilization is making a lot of things "frictionless".

Recently it feels like the stuff that’s frictionless are the distractions and time wasters and all the important stuff I’ve been trying to do are well guarded by walls of bureaucracy.

That's exactly how I see it. Everything that is frictionless has been designed that way to either suck your attention or your money. Everything that rewards you in life has always had some modicum of struggle to it, and now that we're all used to convenience, those struggle walls seem much higher than before.

I don't really know how to get out of it. I take ice-cold showers every morning and it's now more or less "easy". Doesn't really feel like a big step though. I guess I just keep going, trying more and more difficult things.

Living a life in complete comfort can make us fear even minor discomfort, pain, and stress. But these are ordinary and essential parts of human life. Stupor is a very appropriate word to describe a state of living without even minor discomforts, and I believe this lifestyle has severe negative mental and physical health consequences.

Mental health consequences include:

- Anxiety about minor unpleasant things.

- Catastrophizing them.

- Ruminating on inconsequential aspects of one's life.

Also, living a dull life probably has other adverse mental health effects.

Physiological health consequences include losing physical readiness through lack of (uncomfortable but necessary) exercise. And we'll likely discover a lot of harmful physiological effects of a live-at-home lifestyle that remote work, online shopping, telehealth, and social media now enable.

While I can see some glaring negatives of living a life devoid of discomfort, there are likely many more. Psychologists and other health professionals should pay more attention to this.

This is one reason why I regularly participate in Crossfit. It pushes me into a very uncomfortable place, perhaps even painful. Yet it has a strong grounding effect on my mental health, and makes me feel alive. Other stress/pain in my life seems much more manageable somehow.
A little discomfort can put a lot of things in perspective.
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this reminds me of some things in the book Brave New World
Smith: " Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program."
> we are highly developed animals first, then rational minds second

I feel this. People I interact with all day everyday remotely I have trouble relating to.

Where I’ve made new friends recently we have gone out maybe once or twice, shared some personal opinions on life etc and quickly I feel an emotional connection to the point where I care about their well-being and want to support them.

It’s happened a few times like that in the last year, various gender identities and ages.

I know some people aren't going to like reading this, but this is the reason I got an office job after working 2+ years remotely.

I am in my mid 20s, working as a software engineer. I have never worked in an office. I live alone in a city where I don't know anyone.

I haven't talked to another person in real life since Thanksgiving.

Will there be bad things about the office? I am 100% sure there will be. But for me the decision to not be remote wasn't even a want, but a need. I am slowly losing my mind, locked up in my apartment, 23 hours a day.

Before someone comments about "go to a rock climbing gym" or "go to a coffee shop" - I tried all of those things. It's not that simple. An office job is a very consistent way to talk to another human person in real life.

> Before someone comments about "go to a rock climbing gym" or "go to a coffee shop" - I tried all of those things. It's not that simple.

So, you are choosing the cheapest/easiest of the options out there: to talk to people that are forced to see you in person every day of the week. To that, I can only say: good luck.

While you spin it negatively, for a 20 y/o especially that is valuable life experience. I think they are wise for making that change.

You aren't going to like everyone you meet, but you need to cooperate with them. And some can't be cooperated with, and you need to handle THAT.

I can totally understand this perspective; we're social animals.

But I'm also mindful that the reverse has applied to a lot of people both throughout history and the present day, who had to be away from their families for work. Or situations where a couple have to choose who gives up their career in order to live in the same place. Or people jammed into overcrowded apartments because that's all they can afford in order to get to where the work is.

No easy answers, but the people who say remote work has been liberatory for them aren't lying.

(I'm grateful that I can have a partial-wfh experience where I go into the office two days a week, I think that's a compromise that works for me. I like being in the office, it's a nice office, I just don't like commuting.)

The problem, I think, is that only the people who don't like reading this leave comments.

So here I am, commenting that I feel exactly the same way as you. This is the reason I went back to the office

I used to think I was someone who did NOT like the light social interactions in the office. After the pandemic lockdowns I thought I'd continue working from home. After six months of that I realized that I did enjoy the office.

Turns out I don't like small talk, but I like having a small group of people I can bond with over a meal or whatever. Its a lighter interaction. It's still professional, but it helps me.

And before anyone asks I do have that outside of office. That wasn't enough for me.

Anecdote from someone in their mid-30s:

I've spent the majority of my professional life fully remote. The few years I have spent in an office, I've really appreciated. These days, I do miss the meat-space office and having in-person interactions with coworkers from time to time.

Pros and cons for sure, and I guess the factors that tipped me to still being remote again can be summarized as

* country and location where the lifestyle suits me

* stimulating and rewarding work where I feel I can make an impact in something I believe in while working with skilled people

* not moving every couple of years

* not spending half my free time in commute

If my current work magically had an office in town tomorrow I'd 100% start going there.

My guess that it'll come down a lot to the people you'll be working with.

Anyway, sounds like you made the right call! Good luck and hope you found something that brings you joy!

I think happiness with remote work depends a lot on whether you live with a family / roommates who you see regularly.
This doesn't help the actual problem for me. Which is much more about embodied effort and tangible outcome.

You can feel yourself swing a pick or cut through an onion, pay attention to the minute physical, aural stimuli, experience how small adjustments to the angle or force or whatever affect those feelings and the outcome of the next motion. Nearly all kinds of work have this embodiment in some form, even things like washing the dishes have so much sensory experience in them.

Coding just... doesn't. It has analogs to those things, in refining techniques or "honing" "tools" but without the embodiment something essential is missing from my connection to the work. I swear I think this is why mechanical keyboards are so popular right now.

And yeah it's also true that I have a lot of other places to experience those but there seems to be something important about it tied up with my experience of work per se. Being in an office doesn't help me at all because it's not a social problem really.

A few months into the pandemic I overheard someone who eventually become a friend, a welder, ask "do you have a computer job or a real job?" It's a dismissive way to phrase it but I knew immediately that this is what he was talking about.

Yeah, I don't blame you at all. All my 20s were spent working at software companies in the office.

I went remote when I turned 30. I am very grateful I spent that time working in the office, making friends, and hanging out. It was a lot of fun.

Be really careful with this one. I spent my 20s working for startups, loved going to the office, and hanging out with friends outside work.

Then my manager quit. Or a power-hungry executive starts targeting your area, creating chaos. Or the company doesn't raise the funding it needs.

So, you quit, or get laid off, or fired. That family culture, and friends you saw every day and bonded with are either no where to be seen or the dynamic shifts so dramatically it becomes practically unbearable.

Each job I seem to stay in touch with 1 or 2 coworkers regularly, and am on good terms with a few dozen more. But in terms meeting your social needs, it ends up hurting a lot more when you realize you were all alone the entire time and your coworkers were just paid to talk to you.

This is part of why you see a lot more people in their 20s attending company functions or working in startup "family" cultures, and fewer in their 30s, 40s, or 50.

It's good that you're finding something to help address your loneliness. I would encourage you to try to find a few work friendships that you can take offline and outside of work to start building a social network that's divorced from where you're working. And if you have a difficult time doing that, then that's particularly a skill you should work on developing -- because as someone in my mid-30s, it's only going to get harder to make and maintain friendships from here on out.

Counterpoint: as a 35 year old man, I met all of my closest friends at work, in the office, and I still talk to 3-4 daily.

I work remote now and making new friends has become significantly harder because I no longer have consistent repeated contact with anyone. Outside of works, meeting a new person tends to be a one-off far more often than not.

They said: > Counterpoint: as a 35 year old man, I met all of my closest friends at work, in the office, and I still talk to 3-4 daily.

You said: >Each job I seem to stay in touch with 1 or 2 coworkers regularly,

You're describing the same thing - you will keep a friend or two from your old jobs, but it's not a whole social group.

The lead with

> So, you quit, or get laid off, or fired. That family culture, and friends you saw every day and bonded with are either no where to be seen or the dynamic shifts so dramatically it becomes practically unbearable.

As well as the distinction between work friends and a real social network was what I was attempting to counterpoint. It's little confusing because they backtrack at the end and say to use work to build a social group, which is what I'm promoting.

I'm saying start building the social network while you're in the job, and don't let the company's social infrastructure be your social network or else you'll be screwed when you leave that job.

If OP is feeling better because they can go to bowling night with their team, and feel connected and bonded... then that's not sufficient long term. If they meet one or two people who they seem to jive with and suggest meeting up outside of work for bowling... then that's a good way to start a social network that'll outlast their job and potentially not land them in the misery they were in originally.

Startups, especially in the Bay Area, will often promote the former to make people feel engaged in their work and to scratch that itch for connection. But in some ways that works against your own longer-term social needs.

> Each job I seem to stay in touch with 1 or 2 coworkers regularly, and am on good terms with a few dozen more. But in terms meeting your social needs, it ends up hurting a lot more when you realize you were all alone the entire time and your coworkers were just paid to talk to you.

Yeah, exactly - you'll probably make a few good work friends who you'll convert to just friends and then keep in touch with afterwards, but for the rest the common link is the work and once that's gone so is the connection.

This is a false dichotomy. There is value in the normal social interactions of a workplace even if they don't become lifetime friends. Seeing people during the day, small talk, having relationships come and go - these are healthy and enjoyable things even if they never get deeper.
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I think you’re both right, just don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Sure having office “friends” or social interactions at the office is a good thing but just make sure those aren’t your only social contacts.
> There is value in the normal social interactions of a workplace even if they don't become lifetime friends. Seeing people during the day, small talk, having relationships come and go - these are healthy and enjoyable things even if they never get deeper.

Definitely true, but it's a completely different kind of value than what you get from a stable circle of friends outside work. If you have the latter sorted out, than the former is a great addition because overcoming challenges together and spending a ton of time together leads to bonding, if shallow, and I've had lots and lots of fun with my "work besties" especially early in my career. Plus, since most people do spend a lot of time at work, might as well make that as pleasant as possible, and being well-connected and well-liked never hurts.

But if your social network is just your colleagues, then this sort of thing becomes liability since in all likelihood you'll lose all of them, possibly quite abruptly, possibly even when you actually need support. A lot of workplace friendships tend to not outlast a common place of employment for long, if at all, so changing jobs means you'll also ditch your social circle, and having to start over again and again isn't fun after the third time or so, nor is discovering that some people become icy once they're sufficiently ahead in the rat race. Workplaces tend to be an environment well-suited for relatively shallow but fun connections, but quite badly suited for forming deep, long-lasting ones, and a healthy social life needs both.

Hence I second grandparent's advice to focus on building a stable social network outside work (possibly even from work friendships where there is a strong connection and a common hobby or the like, but that should happen outside the office and over non-work topics). It does get harder to make new connections later in life (at least I find it so); better not tie those that you manage to make to a workplace that may well try to foster and exploit this exact thing because it serves the interests of the business to have you depend on their office for social warmth.

That's also not necessarily tied to WFH or from an office; some people may find it easier to do this in a WFH setting, others will be very successful mining the office for actual friends to go hiking with on the weekend.

> But if your social network is just your colleagues, then this sort of thing becomes liability since in all likelihood you'll lose all of them, possibly quite abruptly, possibly even when you actually need support.

Yep. Moved for a job, only real social circle that "stuck" there was coworkers. When people started leaving and the company started to fall apart, my "social circle" fell to bits.

A lot of friends have similar stories, and a lot of companies in tech try foster this environment where everyone in the office is a whole ecosystem of mates. Which makes you not really bother put the work in to make friends outside of work.

As grandparent, I would add that my advice is also in the context of the original comment. If you're going crazy and feeling locked in your apartment for 23 hours per day, then you definitely don't have a strong social support network. If your solution is to get an in-person job for social contact, that's a great first step... just make sure to take the subsequent steps to use those contacts to build a non-work social network so you have the support you really need.

Many of the comments/responses to me seem to be missing the original context. Yes, all friendships come and go. Yes, interaction isn't family and family isn't interaction. Yes, you can carry on friendships with people after you quit.

Everyone is saying true things. But as someone who has moved cross country to work at a startup, treated the startup as my social life, and then left that job... I was devastated by the number of people who I thought were close friends who basically didn't talk to me after I left the company. I learned that lesson in a really rough way at 26.

Now, I take my own advice, and when I meet people through work that I get along well with, I try to move that friendship outside of work so hopefully it has a chance to outlast the job and be an ongoing social connection. That also opens my network up to their friend network. It also gives me social support beyond someone to gripe about work with.

That's all I'm saying. When you have no friends or support, having daily interactions is good/necessary, but try to use that to solve the main problem: having no friends or support.

> If you're going crazy and feeling locked in your apartment for 23 hours per day, then you definitely don't have a strong social support network. If your solution is to get an in-person job for social contact, that's a great first step

Someone in a place like that should take whatever socializing they can get, because such a situation is dangerous in itself, loneliness kills and the lonelier one becomes, the harder it is to get back out, socializing is a muscle that wants exercise. Certainly not arguing against an office job and coworkers as a first step, just don't leave it at that, is what I'm saying (as are you)

> But if your social network is just your colleagues,

I found this to be especially true in academia ... I spent about 10 years at the same university in different groups and have not kept many of the friends I made along the way.

This goes both ways, I spend a lot of that time in one group and got to see several "generations" of students and colleagues come an go ... After a while you just stop trying to have deep connections because most are there only temporarily.

(Also at some point students just become to young to befriend :-) )

The parent comment is talking about human interaction, not human interdependency. You can acknowledge and hold the belief that working in an office causes constant human interaction AND not treat everyone there as family or become ingrained in that lifestyle.
I'm good friends with many of my former coworkers from the office (boring FAANG 9-5 job, not a startup). It's easy to chat, make lunch plans, go drinking, etc when you're all working together in the same space. Having said that, we were all in our 20s and early 30s, so I think you're onto something. There are plenty of young people around to hang out with, but not so many middle aged ones.
Friendships made in any context might end as people move or take on different commitments.

Friendships made in the workplace aren't better than friendships made in other contexts, but they aren't necessarily worse, either. A lot of coworker friendships may end when the working relationship ends, but it's possible to carry on a friendship with a former coworker after you are no longer working together.

> "go to a rock climbing gym"

why not go skiing on the weekends. My eyes and body was degenerating from sitting in front of screens all day. I had crazy cervical degeneration and poor eyesight from using computers all day. Skiing is helping me manage the constant cervical pain and helping my eyes relax.

Escape the screens before its too late.

I don't want to hop on the "just do this" train, but I'll say that sitting on a ski lift and talking with a random stranger about their life is a simple joy. You probably won't see that person ever again on a big mountain, but you can learn a lot about them. Underrated social activity.
What percent of Americans live in a place where they can just casually go skiing on the weekend? It's an okay option if you live in Denver, Salt Lake City, or Seattle (although even in those cities you'll be spending 1-2 hours sitting in traffic both ways which isn't everyone's cup of tea) but I can't imagine anyone in Southern or Midwestern states doing it.
That is the whole point of being remote! The parent poster is already all alone in a city, why not be all alone somewhere you can ski? Or surf/kitesurf/SUP/skate/paraglide/etc

There are so many activities out there that require specific geography. Normally you have to choose, a long commute to the office or a long commute to nature. But when you're remote, you can move somewhere near an activity you want to do!

Working remote and living in a city where you don't know anyone is almost definitely the wrong choice.

There are ski resorts throughout the appalachian mountains, all the way down to North Carolina.
I'm with you. Other than parents, I do not understand people who can work from home all day...and like it.

I felt like I was in my own prison, made even worse by moving to a suburb where the nearest non-chain coffee shop is over two hours by foot. It drove me nuts.

What I did that seems to be working really well is this:

- Drive to a gym that's about 30 minutes away from a coffee shop, walking distance

- Work out

- Walk to coffee shop

- Work for a few hours

- Walk back to my car

- Drive back home, or (likely) to some other place

- Close my work day.

However, I'd prefer to commute to an office, work in the office, walk somewhere interesting during lunch break, walk back, gym, then home.

Having worked from home for 20 years now, it was great pre-pandemic. Once the office crowd came online over the last few years, having no working from home skills and wanting to do things as if they were still in the office, then I can see why you'd rather be in the office. This office at a distance model is quite horrid.
What do you think are the key working from home skills? For some roles such as sales and marketing I can definitely see the challenges with working remotely.
> I know some people aren't going to like reading this

That's because it's an unpopular opinion in an industry teeming with reclusive and rabidly antisocial people.

But it's one that I subscribe to and indeed all the engineers at the company I work for do, as well. The fact is, at remote jobs I made zero relationships even though the people were generally approachable and easy to talk to. I got one job with a person I already had good relationships and wouldn't you know but our relationship never got much deeper until I flew out to Utah to simply hang out with him.

That was what made me switch to an on-site job, and 14 months in, I think I've made the right decision. Office shenanigans, small talk, an overheard joke are what really make the relationship. To say nothing of breaking bread with your office companions! Who likes eating alone every day? I've also found that the artificiality of Zoom sessions really ruin mundane interactions. I communicated less with people whilst working remotely, and the communications themselves were noticeably less satisfying.

> Before someone comments about "go to a rock climbing gym" or "go to a coffee shop" - I tried all of those things. It's not that simple. An office job is a very consistent way to talk to another human person in real life.

Yes and no. Living in a city defeats the purpose of working remotely. If you're remote with no dependants, you have ultimate freedom. Pick an outdoor activity and move east from your working timezone. Stay at a hostel, they usually have private rooms. Do said activity in the morning, work during the day, hang out with people from the hostel at night.

If you're in the city, then yeah, go to an office. Preferably one that is walking distance from a good pub or a good music venue.

There is no single purpose to working remotely.
> Before someone comments about "go to a rock climbing gym" or "go to a coffee shop" - I tried all of those things. It's not that simple. An office job is a very consistent way to talk to another human person in real life.

There's something to be said for joining a club or joining a church if so inclined.

It's much easier to create a community once you get rolling, but very hard to get started.

Getting a job in an office is good, it'll help build friendships. I'd just caution against that being the only community you're apart of. I personally try to be apart of 3-4 communities, it keeps me busy and makes my life more robust if one community is impacted.

"Rock climbing", "going to a coffee shop", isn't a community - those are effectively solo activities. You may get some human contact, but it's not someone you can call when you're sick.

What’s an example of a club you have in mind?
Depends on your area: board game clubs are common in cities, shooting clubs are common in the country, a soccer club, what ever.

It really depends on your interests, but there's bound to be something where people gather on a regular cadence and you can join.

A bit late reply, but dancing classes. I have met a lot of people in my salsa class, we organize parties from time to time.
> "Rock climbing" ... [is] effectively solo

I disagree with this one, though. It depends on how you look at it. Rock climbing CAN be an activity you go to, put earbuds in, and block out the rest of the world, and sure, many do... but if you approach it with an open mindset, talk to others at the gym, make friends, then you are already ahead of the game, because those friends already share your same hobby (vs. finding a friend at a social event).

Anecdata:

- My cousin started rock climbing because of her fiance. His entire wedding party was made up of rock climbing friends

- Another two friends I know from the gym met at said gym and got hitched

- Dissatisfied with the "phone number whiteboard", I started a local discord group which now spans two gyms, we chat online but meet up when convenient. I found one of my very good friends from that group.

I worked in an office that I really enjoyed. Then due to covid, ended up working remote, and then taking a remote only job. It's a weird feeling thinking that such a drastic social change may basically be permanent.
also adding my voice to say I did a very similar thing. 2 years WFH (as a young single male) was a miserable experience for me. I switched to an office job and I’m much happier.
> I know some people aren't going to like reading this, but this is the reason I got an office job after working 2+ years remotely.

Nobody dislikes reading about how someone finds value for themselves in going into the office.

Some people would greatly dislike reading about how everyone should go into the office.

Me too man. I burned out from my previous company, which was already in a bit of crisis, but I think I prolonged my suffering with the disconnect that comes from WFH. Don't get me wrong, there were many things I liked about WFH, but I underestimated my ability to isolate myself as an unhealthy coping mechanism and get away with it.

I'm at a new firm now, in a better role, but also in office - and I'm constantly shocked by how much I enjoy going into the office. Like you, I'm in my 20s, and I do have an active social life outside of work whether WFH or not. For now, I prefer being in the office (on a good team, with a good culture and work-life balance, on a good project) than being WFH at a cool company with a mediocre culture.

Do activities that require interaction with other people. Sign up for a dance class, or a hiking group or a book club or a marital arts class or chess club and commit to going two to three times a week. You’ll make a lot more friends not related to your job.
> I know some people aren't going to like reading this

Sure, just don't push your preferences on other people. That's really the issue of work remote or not.

Super important warning though: make sure that you still work on developing some friendships in your city outside of the office.

I've kinda fell into that trap myself during the pandemic. Both my team and our customers are really cool, and I spend a lot of time on calls, so I didn't feel any need to meet people outside of work.

But then I took some time off and realized I barely have any friends in my city. I fixed it since then and met some great people, but at the time it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Try a crossfit gym with group classes and attend at the same time a few times a week. You'll get to know people and be involved in a "shared struggle" which is a good way to build friendships.
Triathlon culture is like this too, most endurance people are a bit insular and weird, but triathlon culture (owing likely to the three sports and socially interacting with people in those three spheres) was a lot more social.

Plus, triathlon is inherently so much more interesting to talk about. You get all the bike gear stuff, there's talking about good routes to both run and bike, there's destinations to go to for training and racing.

Finally, you get to interact with swimmers, who are frankly the most fun and accepting of the three, I think owing to the fact that it involves people that are basically spending time together naked wearing only the thinnest, smallest amount of clothing possible.

> Before someone comments about "go to a rock climbing gym"

Not all climbing gyms are exactly social spaces.

Some have a good culture of being a social space etc, others don't.

I've been a member of both types - the current place I climb (the only one in my current city) really lacks the social element.

I suspect there's a survivorship bias esque thing happening where people only really report on the sociable climbing walls, and nobody talks about the others.

The general air of sociability at my gym has gone up and down over the years. The culture seems to be driven by a handful of A-type personalities, and when less of them are showing up the place feels a fair bit less extroverted.
Oh yeah, I couldn't do it alone. I love working remotely, but that's because I have my wife, dogs, and nearby family to keep me more or less sane.
This happens even in university situation. Before moving for study abroad, I thought I had made connections at former university, until I realized I didn’t. Recently I had few episodes of really wanting to talk to people, but none of them were available. However, they hit up everytime, they need something. Might be my personal nature too. But I realized this recently. So I stopped talking to them either. I thought it was because of the distance, but I had few friends from university who moved to same place as me. Then after going on one trip with them, I realized everyone was phony and I didn’t have friends at all. Now I have accepted I will be alone. So I will never put trust in any form of social relationships. I can control the algorithms but not people. Human are selfish, so I would rather be selfish and happy than social and depressed. It doesn’t mean I am antisocial. Simply put, I put numbers before emotions. Performance over humanity. Machine over heart. I might hangout with people but there won’t be any deep connections. I will crack jokes, but won’t bother helping them in need. Learnt my lesson the hard way. Most of the time, it’s best to say “No”.
I have a very large friendship network outside of work (to the point of it being overbearing). I still hate working from home. It’s convenient, efficient and soulless. My excitement from work is solving problems with people in person, and the human element is a critical component.

If you woke up tomorrow and found you were the only person left on the world, would you be inspired to create? I wouldn’t.

     An office job is a very consistent way to talk 
     to another human person in real life.
Well, it's certainly a way, but your coworkers are (essentially) forced to be there and to talk to you.

I have made many genuine lifelong friends this way, but "forced proximity to another person whose finances depend on their presence" is not always going to be the healthiest basis for human relationships.

     Before someone comments about "go to a rock 
     climbing gym" or "go to a coffee shop"
I don't want to extrapolate/interpolate too much from your words here, but simply showing up at those places seems like a very non-ideal way to make friends. I'm sometimes up for chitchat with randos, but often not, and I'm not really looking to form lasting friendships.

The real key is to join groups who do things together, whether it's gaming or hiking or volunteering or whatever. Those are true shared passions, interests, and experiences.

Forgive me if I've misunderstood your words. Perhaps you already tried things like that, e.g. you were part of a group at the rock climbing gym or something like that.

So you're using the office as a crutch for your social life. Don't drag us all back into the office just for that.

Plus you're destroying the planet commuting every day.

I think people often memetically comment that because they've found they like it or found it to be a cheap way they can buy into hypothetically socializing. I like coffee shops and would happily meet there with a friend, but for someone with a scarcity of organic interests that would naturally take them there, they need to explore why that is and why it seems troublesome first. You can't or shouldn't try to just hack your way into a good social life by adopting arbitrary social activities; though many of them might be fun to explore among a long list of potential other things to explore.

Many people move to cities from the suburbs of their hometown where everyone they knew just happened because they were already around them for the specific reason that they had to be around them day in and day out, like an office job in a way.

My biggest recommendations would be to explore the area and be open to trying new things, and then also to meet your coworkers and their friends eventually, if you can.

So many people I know back home have only ever made "friends" with their coworkers, and if that job went away, so would their "friends", because they are linked in only that way. If you meet your coworkers friends somehow though, the only reason that relationship would flourish to the point of friendship is that you each felt that it should, because you discovered common ground or realized you both had chemistry.

Likewise, another thing I recommend to people who feel isolated, is to try and find something you like doing for 2-3 hours a day, once or twice a week, somewhat around other people. Could be the gym, could be hanging at a coffee shop, could be many other things, you just need some common faces regularly so you have the opportunity to discover if you vibe with them. It's important that you'd do it regardless of anyone else being there too. You need to be down for it, and anything else that happens should be considered a lucky side-effect.

So yes, it's not that simple, and you're absolutely right.

A sedentary lifestyle likely contributes to this heavily. You can be in the best physical shape and still live a very sedentary lifestyle. I think Nietzsche said something along this line of any idea that comes from movement are those that have actual value. Up to your interpretation of movement here though.
> Out “lower” instinctual selves who crave that sensual/physical experience are never fully satisfied/soaked within that disembodied life.

Isn't this why a lot of furries exist? (I say this as a DID system where all members happen to be furry creatures.)

> Also, Modern civilization is making a lot of things "frictionless".

I would debate this. Everything seems to have more and more friction to me. There was a sweet spot about 10-15 years ago where things were mostly frictionless, and it's been intentionally made worse because people believe it improves their numbers (without actually understanding what the numbers mean, I suspect).

Some examples:

- I want to read a blog. 2 paragraphs in, the screen is taken over by a popover trying to trick me into giving them my email (by making the "Cancel" control not a button, in an odd place, smaller, and a different font). I do one of 3 things that does not help the person who put it there - I give a fake email address and continue reading, I do the work and find the close/cancel button, or I simply close the tab because it's not worth my time. I suspect many people either enter a fake email or enter their real email address then mark the first few "newsletters" as spam and forget about them once their spam detection recognizes it regularly.

- I order a simple product like a gallon of milk or a light bulb, or have a routine visit to the dentist or eye doctor. I get an email imploring me to write a review of this revolutionary product or service. I ignore it. They send me several more. Annoyed, I write a scathing review of their stupid hounding efforts after buying something so mundane and give them the lowest marks. Sometimes this backfires and they want to "make it up to me" and offer me some sort of small discount on more of their products or service, or they want me to give more information "so they can improve my experience". Having the ability to write a review is great for when something goes really well or poorly, but who has time to do this for every single bank transaction? Like all I did was pay a bill. It worked exactly as expected. There's nothing to say. It wasn't spectacular, it wasn't awful. But if you do write a review and give them only 3 out of 5 stars, you'll hear about it, thus wasting more of your time.

- I want to watch the next episode of my favorite show. There's a trailer for a different show from the same service. If it's related, maybe I'm interested. Just let me tell you whether I want to see these or not in a preference. Don't make me skip it every time. But most of the time it's something they're pushing that's unrelated and not interesting, or that I already saw 5 times when watching the last 5 episodes, so usually I hit the skip button. Then there's a title card about downloading their podcast about the show. No thanks. Then a title card to "stay tuned after the episode to have it mansplained to you". Then, finally, there's the opening credits. Then after the show, there's the closing credits, followed by the credits for all the people who did voiceovers in other languages that you didn't have turned on, followed by mansplaining the episode. "When Jeremy yelled at Sally, he was angry with her!" You don't say! (Yes, I usually bail out shortly after the closing credits, it's just ridiculous how much other junk they put in there. Plus, sometimes if you don't watch it all, the episode remains in your queue until you mark it as watched.)

No one of these is terrible on its own, but it's the death by 1,000 paper cuts. I just want to accomplish some task and someone or something is constantly interrupting me to try and extract more data or money from me. It's incredibly irritating.

Or maybe you are getting older. Ask the teens and other young people around, they seem quite in the zone and satisfied with whatever we have nowadays.
How would teens and young people compare the present with a past they never experienced? You need to know what a record player is before you decide if you prefer vinyl to streaming.
Vinyl is still quite present. Most “old” experiences are still around.
How about "hanging out at the mall" for the covid lockdown generation?
What fknorangesite said.

That said, there's still a mall where I live, and it's becoming popular again. There's also many other places for teenagers to hang out at.

It's interesting to read this take on young people. My impression is that most teens I have contact with feel constantly overwhelmed and lost.
Isn't that the point of being a teen lol. I miss that, lost with endless possibilities. Now I'm just lost and aging haha
Are they?

I see reports citing massive declines in mental health, especially in young people.

I think that’s my comment[1]! You’re mixing an anecdote about the 1930s vs. today a wee bit but that distinction is not really relevant to your question.

For what it’s worth, my dad and I generally agree that things have gotten both more convenient and satisfying on the handyman front. Far more tasks are DIYable now. Expertise isn’t a limitation and I’ve been able to do even more projects than he was able to. There is an incredible amount of satisfaction in learning and solving a problem yourself.

I’m not convinced this is universal. I think there are definitely cases where convenience is a thief of joy.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33904360

I'll put it like this:

Before, if you wanted to meet hippies you'd have to go outside and find them - usually in a park or at a concert.

Now? Find their Discord.

Before, if you ever wanted to be a hippie you'd have to talk to hippies, hang out with them, debate them, and relate to them.

Now? You spend 2 hours on a search engine and realize they're full of shit.

Now no one wants to be a hippie, but a lot of people wish they did.

I do music production as a hobby, and I definitely see this. You can get a lot of plugins these days that will do all sorts of auto generation for you — chord progressions, melodies, stylistic aspects, variations, and so on, and a lot of them are incredibly high quality.

Each to their own of course, and if I was on the clock and doing this for money I think I'd love to be able to click a button and create an authentic-sounding Motown bassline or whatever, but for me... while it does sound great, and somewhat depressingly is almost certainly better than what I could create by myself, I find it quite an empty and unsatisfying way of working. I loved it at the start — look how fast I can make a track! — but I've been slowly moving away from this sort of thing, and I'm back to having more fun as a result.

Even listening to music, it's more enjoyable watching someone play physical instruments live than listening to something someone composed digitally.
>So I'd be interested to generalize this: with things getting more and more digital and disembodied (ahem, ChatGPT), does it produce convenience at the expense of contentment?

Hard to generalize because digital-virtual-experience being better/worse than in-real-life depends on the situation.

For example, I used to travel to many developer conferences but I now much prefer Youtube videos of the recordings. I can watch many more at 2x speed and skip around to the segments that are interesting. Youtube is not only a substitute but actually superior to real-life because I don't have to get on an airplane and listen to someone speak too slowly and thus get bored.

On the other hand, even watching Yellowstone videos in hi-res 4k on Youtube will not convey the same peace and contentment as actually visiting.

But back to the digital convenience producing enough contentment... I needed to know how to disassemble an appliance to replace a heating element. There was the perfect Youtube video of someone showing how to do it step-by-step. At the end, it wasn't like I wish he was actually here in person so we could have an emotional bonding moment or anything like that. I was perfectly content with the digital virtual instruction because it empowered me to fix something on my own without calling an expensive repairman.

I guess it ultimately depends on what aspects of the experiences are important to you as to whether digital substitutions will leave you discontented.

For me, the sessions are generally the least interesting part of conferences. I do like recordings being available--as it means I don't need to worry about missing things I want to see. I can always catch up (though truth be told I mostly don't). Not everything is about most efficiently ingesting data.

That said, I do appreciate being able to watch sessions here and there from events I wouldn't normally attend anyway.

my perspective, which might not be universal:

the teen at the construction site was acquiring knowledge that wasn't otherwise available to him. the teen in front of youtube only sees previously available knowledge.

we're wired to be excited by doing new things - we like a positive first derivative (available knowledge increasing). the absolute amount of available knowledge is less important to us.

see also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

Discovery process vs consumption process.

Obviously the kid wasn't the first to discover how to dig a ditch, but the kid discovered it for himself, figured out how it works for himself. Personal discovery.

Like the difference between accomplishing a sports achievement personally vs watching a picture of someone else accomplishing a similar goal.

This. There is a difference.

For a HackerNews audience, it's like saying that using apps on a phone means you are technology fluent versus creating an app and delivering it via apk to a phone. To be more inclusive it's like being able to read on a kindle versus write a document in word.

For the Youtube example; There is a difference between watching a video for entertainment, here's how to change the suspension in a car, versus watching for discovery - here's how to change the suspension, wait, where's that bolt, I'm doing it on my car too.

Society really hasn't changed that much, though the discoverers were likely more likely to survive in wars and subsistence -- though they were also labeled witches .

So the question really goes back to fabricators, menders, and consumption. Society could go a far way if we focused more on mending than consuming.

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the human mind is not designed for instant gratification and overstimulation. Things seemed more satisfying to me 20 years ago, standing in line waiting for a playstation or game release and then playing it. Now a days, i download a bunch of games but never seem to finish any of them. The same goes for movies, friday night movie rentals were magical.
I think what you’re describing could be because the pace of life was slower, there was less competition for everything, the consequences of making mistakes less severe, the general economic situation easier, and it was worth a lot more to learn and know something. There was also more quality work to be found in software, relatively speaking.
actually no, what you are describing is abundance... you get easily bored when you have too many options
I ponder about this as well but I wonder if it's not simply that these things felt more magical just because well... I was a kid back then, I can't expect to get the same level of wonder from a videogame nowadays.
As someone in my 40’s, I’d like to point out that you can still do most of this stuff. Want to visit a construction site? Talk to the foreman and ask for a tour. They probably won’t let you do the work, but that’s a liability issue the OP neatly skirted past.

EDIT: Have a look at baremetal's response to this. Volunteering on a site may still be possible, if you ask!

Want to look at Yellowstone? It’s a natural park with lodging, tours and all that. Make a holiday of it and go visit it.

Want to listen to Vinyl? Barnes and Noble sells records and players.

None of this is remotely off the table. There’s just options now we didn’t have 40 years ago.

> but that’s a liability issue the OP neatly skirted past.

I think this is the actual root of the issue right here. 40 years ago this "liability" thing was vaguely talked about and rarely, if ever, enforced. Everywhere in society - from letting a kid hop on a construction site and help out for cash, down to not allowing retail employees to interfere with shoplifters. Things continue to get more and more useless as we amp up this ridiculous concept.

The "liability" gremlin has more to do with this massive loss in social interaction than anything other than suburban style living and the Internet in my mind.

The lives of working people were more disposable.
I think feeling of freedom have a lot of value... liability rules may decrease death and injury rate, in which case the question is a tradeoff between QALYs (death and injury) and QALYs (feelings of freedom).
Don't tell anyone, it's our secret, but the liability issue can be quietly skirted if the people involved trust you to be smart, sane, and not make a fuss.

You won't get onto a high-rise project or such, but you can still get places you probably "shouldn't".

I like this part the most. Liability is a counteraction against people you can't trust doing things they shouldn't. It does protect you when things go wrong, but generally, things don't go wrong and if people do the right thing, they go wrong even less often.

Seems like half the US legal system is basically built on a lack of trust between people. I do acknowledge many legal remedies try to address the situations where trust exists but no one knows how to proceed so its not all bad

> Seems like half the US legal system is basically built on a lack of trust between people.

I think lack of trust between people is the entire foundation of legal systems.

> not allowing retail employees to interfere with shoplifters

Considering that this just recently resulted in an employee's death (at Home Depot), I can certainly see why it's a concern.

i gave a few tours of my jobsites this year.

also workmans comp insurance, at least the provider i have, includes coverage for volunteers.

> includes coverage for volunteers

That's pretty awesome, actually. Thank you for taking advantage of it!

Certainly. I love to learn and teach what I've learned.
Starting a startup.

10 years ago, that meant renting an office, hiring cool people from your city and hang out with them every day.

Today it is more effective to work remotely.

No one ever really thought startups were about hanging out with cool people every day. People who treated it that way were playing at startups rather than actually doing it.
I am a huge remote work fan and basically refuse to ever attempt to write code in an open plan office again…that said there definitely is some electricity missing in those very early stages when working remotely.

I’ve been involved with a few startups at the “handful of people in a room together” stages, and did feel that the setting made a difference. Working late in a shabby but cool office, gathered around the whiteboard, excitedly sharing ideas, stepping outside to the buzz of NYC at night. I’m romanticizing, but there’s an energy to it that I’ve missed in the past couple of years doing it remotely.

More effective, and much longer runway. My house is paid off and my expenses are minimal. Cities full of cool people are usually incredibly expensive. Would I rather spend the money on rent or on my startup?
In the absence of quantified data, I'd say yes.

My personal opinion is that this is due to a lot of things besides digitization though. Regulation is one thing -- I think regulations sometimes do increase safety but then decrease access which is critical to experimentation and discovery.

Some of it is the nature of capitalism too. If you have a product, at some level you have to get the purchase to the point of sale (or at least to the point of no return). So that leads to a lot of selection for product characteristics that get the product to the point of nonreturnable sale, many of which increase convenience and superficial aspects of immediate satisfaction, at the cost sometimes of long-term satisfaction. Pushing back against this requires a longer-term process of not returning to a seller, or complaining about it, which is less immediate than refusing a purchase outright.

Add in monopoly and monopsony and things get even more complex.

I think what you're mentioning -- convenience allowing for short-term benefits that then miss the less convenient but long-term more satisfying alternative -- also definitely plays a role. I just think it's part of a mix of things that are separable but not necessarily totally independent.

It has nothing to do with the screen, or living life virtually/digitally.

It boils down to the paradox of choice. Or getting older. Mostly when it's getting older - it's nostalgia talking. Humans have been bemoaning this state of affairs for centuries.

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality" - Seneca

Nostalgia is Greek for "returning [home] to suffering/pain".. ironic, isn't it?

We have more choice than ever before, and because of that, sometimes our choices don't seem as valuable. We are simple apes, after all, accustomed to making choices that determine the outcome of our survival.

So, instead of being able to only choose from an action movie, a horror film, and a rom-com.. it was simple - what were you in the mood for?

It definetly has to do with screens and the virtuality of living. Is not just plain old nostalgia. I agree it's a paradox of choices and "individual liberty".

Obviously new generations won't notice, they probably won't complain yet or add nostalgia to their experiences, but there's a lot of thing that without effort there is no purpose in doing, and thus no joy in it. Remember when something cost you a lot of efforts? that was the real important thing, and when you achieved it or passed it, remember the joy you had? now with so many experiences, options and things within a hand's reach, theres no fun in doing anything, because it doesn't require your effort, and I think our brains weren't developed for an easy, overjoyed, overstimulated life.

Part of satisfaction is completing something, and fewer things end anymore.

You can't watch a really good movie with a satisfying conclusion, they are all written for a sequel.

You don't just buy things, you have to subscribe to them.

You take a vacation, but also 3000 pictures.

Relationships don't end, they have long lingering deaths of less and less a contact on social media.

You never get the moments of walking away from prison a free man, it's just an endless series of half way houses.

I've noticed a lot of DIY kits for sale for what was once routine things, like making a gourmet dinner where all the ingredients come neatly packed in one box. No need to think beyond the actual assembly steps. It's sort of like satisfaction in a box. A whole market has sprung up to recreate the experience without the hassle.
> “You can't watch a really good movie with a satisfying conclusion, they are all written for a sequel.”

This only applies to the Disneyfied mega-blockbusters that represent a large share of production dollars but a small share of movies created overall.

It’s never been easier to find and access good movies, new and old. No matter if they’re from Iowa or France or Korea, practically anything is available on streaming a few clicks away. The problem is really the overwhelming abundance of choice. Given the choice of “The Batman” and “The Northman”, people will default to the familiar title and then complain that it’s derivative and anticipates a sequel.

Yeah, this is like how you often see complaints about movies all being the same and shitty these days, or how horror movies all suck now, or whatever.

In fact, there are hundreds of movies made every year and many are very good. Enough that it's kinda hard to watch all the good ones, unless you spend a whole lot more time than most people do watching new-release movies. All I can figure is people come to this conclusion because they're just looking at the blockbusters and what they see advertised everywhere, and figuring those are the only movies that exist.

> All I can figure is people come to this conclusion because they're just looking at the blockbusters and what they see advertised everywhere, and figuring those are the only movies that exist.

This might be my age showing but movies used to be both blockbuster hits and completely unique storylines. Those things somehow became mutually exclusive and people never figured out how to explore the underground movie scene. When I was younger, even now to some extent, I sought out underground music as my interests were not popular. Yet, I have no idea how to do that for movies; it's just not a skill I ever acquired. When something new and "indie" shows up on my radar, I feel I am more likely to default to a feeling that it's a waste of time than something special I should invest some time on. Perhaps also due to run time differences, it's easier to "check out" some new music than a new movie.

Mmm, kinda. I think some of that's a bit of an illusion—I suspect there's a tendency to remember the dozen great original blockbuster movies that came out in a decade, and forget the hundred sequels, cookie-cutter genre movies, and other crap that was most of what was coming out. Even now we get something good that's also a big highly-promoted spectacle movie maybe once a year, but we do get ten or more mediocre-to-terrible ones for every one of those.

Music's a lot easier to check out quickly than movies, so yeah, it's just easier to keep up with, especially these days with Spotify and such. I've found TV easier to get into lately because there are sharp cut-off points pretty regularly—I hate having to leave a movie unfinished and return to it. Fortunately, there's been a ton of great TV in the last couple decades. I've also been really appreciating when I can find a tight 90-minute film instead of a 2+hr monster, which is way more common outside blockbuster-film territory.

Finding a critic with taste similar to yours, who writes frequently enough to cover plenty of non-blockbuster films, helps with discovery. I've personally also had luck watching basically anything A24 puts out. Very rarely been sad I watched one of their pictures.

However, it is the case that some aspects of big blockbuster movies are simply worse now, more often than not. The original musical score situation in particular is notably dire, as has been much-commented-on and the causes analyzed in great detail by film-nerd Youtube. So-so directors and editors have arguably too many knobs they can cheaply and easily fiddle with now, leading to things like heavy-handed and poorly-motivated color grading that looks like crap. A lot of CG still kinda sucks, including cases when it's replacing relatively-simple practical effects and not doing something that would have been nigh-impossible otherwise. And Disney discovering the sweet spot of just-bad-enough-to-save-a-lot-of-money, but just-good-enough-to-sell-well with their films has probably been a bad thing overall, especially since they own half of popular culture now.

Eh, top-20 grossing only and starts in the early 80s. There are lots of remakes and sequels (and some "cinematic universes"!) in the 1900-1950 range—not infrequently, one of the remakes is far better-known or better-regarded now than the original.

[EDIT] I've actually looked into this before and if you have better data on it I'd genuinely love to see it—I couldn't find any.

[EDIT EDIT] What I was most interested in was seeing whether there was a major change in this in the 60s-80s when director-as-auteur trend took over after the Studio System was broken up—arguably we're kinda trending back toward a Studio System sort of arrangement, so it'd be interesting to see if a ~century-long graph that includes wider-ranging data looks U-shaped.

There are a lot of movies in the 30s and 40s that a cursory analysis wouldn't notice are remakes, but totally are. For example, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies are all nominally unique characters, but most of them have identical pacing.
The media that bucks this trend always stands out to me, especially in series. The classic animated series "Avatar" rarely splits stories over multiple episodes, so that each episode ends in a satisfying way. Another example in a totally different genre is "Atlanta" (2016) which has a similar focused structure.
Episodic (vs serial) television has its own problems. It can be done well, but the path of least resistance is to make episodes low-stakes, formulaic, and mindless. Law & Order, The X-Files, The Simpsons et al have vague arcs but are approachable by design, which I see as "convenient but less satisfying".
In the case of Avatar, it was a bit of both. Most episodes did have a satisfying conclusion, but it was nothing like the Simpsons or X-files. The show was a serial and it had a story arc that played out over three seasons with each season having a theme. It had been planned out that way very early.

I love shows like that where the creator has a beginning, middle, and ending in mind from that start and so it can't just be stretched out forever until they've run out of ideas or the audience gets bored and ratings drop off. It's just better storytelling to have a compete story. In TV animation that sort of storytelling isn't as common here as it is in anime which helped Avatar stand out, especially compared to what other shows were airing on the channel at the time

Uhh, no. It was easier to find better movies to watch before all the streaming services balkanized. This is why piracy almost died out, and why it's now back.
The total selection of movies available on streaming services is certainly much better now than it was ten years ago. For example the Criterion Channel is only four years old.
I think their point is that the selection is much better if you're willing to pay for 5-6 subscriptions. In it's heyday Netflix didn't have everything, but it had more than any current service has and for $12/mo
Digitizing experiences (like metaverse, etc), yes, but I think I prefer digitization for completing everyday tasks. There are many times though where I've seen that making physical experiences accessible for those that are not capable of doing those (for financial or health reasons) has been a great source of contentment when it otherwise would not have been possible. If in old age, you're unable to get to a theatre but can still watch it on Netflix or at home, I consider that a win overall.

Things like banking, visa registration, and digital payments have gotten more convenient and accessible and make time for better experiences. I'm glad to have autopay for many recurring expenses and not have to worry about writing a check for every one of these. Making books and notes more portable has improved my contentment.

I have sometimes seen that once things have been made convenient and need to be optimized, they become less convenient than the original service. Customer Service over chat or tickets is oftentimes horrible, and every action you take needs your confirmation. Automation introduced in the customer service over phone is even worse than it used to be. I've started to see ads presented before watching videos on Youtube, and even before being able confirming an Uber or Lyft Ride. That time when you are focused to stay on the screen until they are ready for your decision are neither convenience or satisfying and worse than what originally existed. Here, convenience is being exchanged for profit.

Traveling comes to mind. It used to be quit an adventure to travel (even in a neighbourhood country where people don't speak your language). You needed to do some research and put some work. Nowadays, you plan a trip to the other side of the world with a few clicks. Different experience. I enjoyed traveling more in the past.

Overall, I don't like the fact that everything is on the computer now. Work, traveling, watching movies, making music, paying your taxes, communicating with friends... I'm on holiday at the moment, It feels I spend as much time online as when I'm working.

> I'm on holiday at the moment, It feels I spend as much time online as when I'm working.

This is your fault.

In my day to day life I am on my computer pretty much every waking moment. But when I'm on vacations I only am on an electronic device (my phone) a couple hours in the evening, at most.

If I'm paying hundreds a day for a plane ticket, lodging, etc. you better believe I will cram every second with cultural visits, tours and activities that I cannot do where I live.

I planned my 2011 trip to Japan in a few clicks. And yet the actual getting there was still an adventure. And of course, once I landed I had to remember what I could of the local language, figure out where to go and what to do (I don't plan these things in advance), etc. Far from convenient, I was at sixes and sevens the whole time, but incredibly wonderful.
It's quite noticeable how homogenous the world is when you get there, too. Anywhere that isn't tremendously dangerous or closed to outsiders is copying Westerners and their brands as much as possible.
I remember doing weeks of planning just to take a road trip within the US -- to a place we were already familiar with... driving down to the AAA office, getting regional and local maps, a highlighter and some string, determining the best route, highlighting it, calculating ideal places to stop, flipping through the guide books to find hotels, calling them individually to book reservations.
I believe it is: I recently got rid of my music streaming service because I found myself constantly unsatisfied with my music listening. Don’t get me wrong I got to explore a lot but with that comes the “Tyranny of Freedom”. I then recalled the simple days when I had an iPod and how satisfied I was with my select FLAC albums.

Needless to say I installed VLC on my iPhone and imported my FLACs…

The book 'Digital Minimalism' by Cal Newport expands on your reasoning. It mentions that social media, although convenient, severely impact your social life (in a negative way).

Us humans have been developing an immensely complex social system for thousands or even tens of thousands of years, and this simply can't (and shouldn't) be replaced by Facebook, Instagram, etc.

heh, I just finished reading "In Praise of Shadows" the other day and this same idea has been floating around my head for a while now.

My take is take any kind of technological advancement comes with trade-offs. In the book I mentioned, the author talks about a traditional Japanese toilet and how the way it is designed lets the light come in just the right way that it makes for some interesting shadows on the walls. The traditional toilet is not as clean as a modern toilet and inconvenient, especially in the winter, but its white and sterile tiles miss out on the beauty of the traditional wooden toilets.

That book was written 90 years ago, so it's pretty obvious this is not a new feeling.

I myself still buy The Economist in print, every Sunday morning at my local convenience store. My girlfriend always makes fun of me for doing so. She says I should just get a subscription. It would be cheaper and more convenient to do that, but I would miss out on other things I truly enjoy: I wake up early on Sundays and go for a walk at a nearby park. I get to see some dogs playing around, squirrels carrying nuts as they make their way up the trees, etc. I then walk over to the convenience store where I greet the cashier (which at this point is as used to my routine as I am) and we exchange some banter as I order "the usual" and then head home.

I have the similar relationship with the girl at a coffee shop near my house, where I always stop at around the same time. She sees me come to the door and laughs as she looks at me and asks "The usual?" and I laugh back and say "yeah, double espresso again". I could easily make that espresso at home, but I get value from my walk to the coffee shop and from chit-chatting with the people working there. I also sometimes get a free chocolate which is always a nice bonus :)

None of these things are convenient but I derive value from them. Technology will always advance and bring trade-offs with it. It's up to you to choose what you make use of.

I can strongly relate to the "less satisfying" part, but not to the "more convenient" part. Many things are instead getting more broken, unusable, and generally mildly infuriating.

Call any support line, get a robot suggesting you chat with another robot over some messenger app. Both the voice-call robot and the chat robot proceed to bombard you with ads. Not very convenient, that.

Even the stuff that was digital to begin with constantly degrades in quality. Certain apps on my Windows 10 box decide to autostart and can't be uninstalled (by conventional means, anyway), the latest example being "Xbox toolbar" or something to that effect. Published by Microsoft, wanted by absolutely nobody, not on this machine anyway.

You can disable that Xbox toolbar in some windows menu.
Disabling a nuisance in Windows 10 sadly doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll stay disabled for longer than when the next update is installed.
Argh! for me it's Samsung's Bixby, I don't use it, I don't want it. But you can't install it :/
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I have an unfortunate theory that "fun" and "fulfillment" are tied significantly to variable reward. If it's consistent you wont find enjoyment from it.