Ask HN: Down to $16, had 4 job offers rescinded; in crisis mode, where to turn?

63 points by lostrubyist ↗ HN
Throwaway because I'm pretty active here.

I'm so depressed and lost, friends. This has not been an Incredible Journey.

About two years ago I was raked over the coals and charged with a white collar computer crime. It was highly-publicized and described in a less shimmering light than what actually happened, as most press releases by the justice department are. My current arrangement with the government involves "special projects" on an as-needed basis, which is why I’m not incarcerated.

I was employed throughout the turmoil — being charged (though, never indicted), and ultimately pleading guilty to a single count of computer intrusion. (In this case, computer intrusion was defined by a cURL request, changing a single query param; no other charges were pursued.) My employer knew the details, kept me on as long as they could: they are currently operating in a shell capacity as of late Q2 due to being unable to raise a round.

During my search for work I’ve always disclosed that I have baggage and can’t pass a background check. Even with this, I’ve had offers put on the table, only for them to be terminated or rescinded at some point. It's not because I'm not telling the whole truth: when people ask, I tell; if they just say "oh what'd you do" and I say "well, according to the government, this, but this is the real story" it's found to be fascinating, sad, and annoying at the same time.

All I know is to be transparent with people, so manipulating the story or the details is difficult for me — I have autism, and my entire existence lives to be transparent and logical because that's just how I'm wired.

I really don’t know what to do at this point. I have rent that’s due, and nothing to fall back on: no assets to cash out (legal defense cleaned me out completely), I live off ramen like a founder, I have the bare minimum everything already. I don’t have any family to go to — my mother, and my only, passed away about this time a few years ago. My friends: well, I am usually the person that is supporting them when they are in crisis.

I am not used to being in crisis.

Being autistic makes it particularly difficult because I'm already so awful at advocating for myself. Perhaps the most frustrating part is that I outwardly appear neurotypical.

Freelancing sites like Upwork are probably my next go-to, even if it rattles my pride and my usual rate, at least I won’t be homeless and starving. I thought I’d post here in case anyone has any resources or ideas I haven’t thought of yet.

For the last 15 years I’ve been building MVPs and shaping up Ruby/Rails applications, working at some big-name Rails shops, many smaller YC companies, and everything in between. I'm active and relatively popular in the open-source Ruby/Rails world, and my side projects here have been met with great admiration. But I'm still in this position. With the tech stack I've pigeoned myself into, I’m unfortunately a one-trick in regard, but at this point I’ll take anything I can get. My next stop is retail, if I can even pass a background check.

Redacted resume, if anyone can help: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gZ_-spX5F2sIyJUuL7firQbWK9xNrSYZ69O_xackCjQ (context: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37265203)

My email, for this journey, is lostrubyist@gmail.com

89 comments

[ 3.4 ms ] story [ 151 ms ] thread
Fast food job? Grocery store job? Any pay-the-rent job until you can land a career oriented job.

I was a short order cook to fill the gap after graduating with my BSEE...

Even at 2x minimum wage there's no way I'd be able to afford my rent in such a short amount of time, but that's where I'm headed to this weekend is to apply to retail jobs.
At one point I had to take a seasonal (Christmas time) gig at Target. On the plus side, I met some absolutely amazing people there, some of the best of my life. It definitely sucks, but go try to work at a store with electronics or something that you like, and you might find a silver lining like I did.
I dont have any good advice, but wanted to say hang in there buddy. Its gonna get better. You wrote that you're usually the one supporting your friends. Maybe its time you asked for help from them. It may not be easy but you will be surprised how caring friends can be.
Good advice wrt friends, but:

> Its gonna get better.

My partner got a lot of this as she was dying of cancer. It did not get better, and this kind of "optimism" helped no one, just the opposite.

Freelance contractor jobs are the way to go. Easy for people to sack you (...or just not renew) so a lower risk for them. They're typically in a hurry too, so might not be too concerned about long winded interview processes

Perhaps also broaden horizons to typescript and (pains me to say this) react.

Good luck.

Edit: just looked at your resume. It is a bit ... fruity - might be worth sticking to something straight-laced and focusing specifically on skillset until you are out of the danger zone.

I've been focusing on freelancing and contractor gigs, and unfortunately two of them were the ones that I got bit on. I'm still digging, though.

Thanks for the feedback. It's a bit strong, indeed; I've just used the format for so long (normally with great success — even tested it at some point prior to this incident happening) that I hadn't considered the pollution until you brought it up. I'll trim it moving forward.

If I were you I would start from scratch entirely. One page, focusing only on your experience. Nobody cares you've written HTML for 20+ years, and people _definitely_ don't care what your favorite bird is. Take out every single thing that isn't your education and your past job experience. MAYBE keep the projects.

I realize this is harsh, but I'd rather not sugarcoat. Your resume, by area, is like 75% crap and 25% really genuinely good experience. I would take that 25% and stretch it out as much as you can.

>Saved the company more than $600,000 by optimizing infrastructure costs.

Wait, what? Expand on that, my brother! That's a huge win which one should be proud of, I think that could easily be two bullet points. "Optimizing infrastructure costs" is very weak - did you move to a different cloud provider?

I don't doubt you're a strong engineer, I think if you fix the resume you'll get callbacks almost immediately.

Callbacks haven't been an issue and this resume has historically served me well. I've made edits to it, though, based on yours and other suggestions. I appreciate it.
Interesting that you've had good calls from that resume. - And it might still be that it's interesting at one level, and then kills the job offer once a higher-up needs to approve it.
ChatGPT is amazing for neurodivergent folk. When I was applying for jobs this summer, I just word vomited a stream of consciousness professional biography into a text document. I then used this as context for chatgpt to help me write cover letters and resumes. If you want to be especially clever you can also include the job posting. Just be very careful to change up some of the language otherwise it’ll smell like AI.
Your résumé is red flag after red flag. Regardless of background check, there is absolutely no possibility I would hire someone who submitted that.

Get rid of the emojis.

The "Bugs and Features" section should not exist.

"Hi mom (very dead; very sad)" is completely inappropriate.

You say you are "Very detail oriented," which is incoherent, since someone who actually was detail-oriented would not have omitted the hyphen.

You say you are a "Voracious writer," which is incoherent, since someone who wrote a lot would know that that the word "voracious" relates to consumption, not production.

The story about sticking a fork in a light socket is inappropriate and weird.

This résumé is fundamentally inconsiderate. It appears to be intended to make people feel ill at ease. I strongly recommend you reconsider it.

ALSO: I don't know you, but I can't shake the suspicion that the résumé and the cURL incident are related, i.e., that there's a fundamental TPJ issue preventing you from understanding how your actions will come across to others.

> Get rid of the emojis.

found only 1 emoji.

> "Hi mom (very dead; very sad)" is completely inappropriate.

that's pretty bad ... actually, i would assume mental problems just from reading this. [1]

1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clanging

I assume he/she is editing it as we speak?
It looks like it's a live doc? And it's being changed in real time
I think it's just silliness, not necessarily clanging. Perhaps reminiscient of the 2010s doge-era "much good, very wow" memetic.
No, it’s awful and needs to go. Random company recruiter is going to throw that resume in the bin so fast when she sees it
You're right, weird gags have no place on a resume; I was just being pedantic and wondering aloud about what I thought he was going for.
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> This résumé is fundamentally inconsiderate. It appears to be intended to make people feel ill at ease.

Really well put. While reading this, there were a few points at which I felt my gut tense up in disgust. I can't remember the last time I felt so revolted by something I've read, and I have a very hard time figuring out how a resume, which is supposed to make people want to hire you, could end up doing that.

OP, please consider dropping this completely and switching to a regular resume format.

Counterpoint, I don't disagree with the advice given but I wasn't put off too much by this. I think that if I ran across this resume with no additional context I'd think it's a bit silly and make a note to evaluate professionalism and willingness to set aside the jokes when needed. I certainly don't have a visceral reaction, but I understand people's reaction. It's getting quite negative in here.
> make a note to evaluate professionalism and willingness to set aside the jokes when needed

Tech recruiters receive hundreds of normal resumes that don't require that extra effort/risk.

Even if this weren't a professional resume, the humor used in general is bad and would come across poorly even in normal conversation.
To me a resume that is outside the norm can be a good thing, in this case it gives me a vivid image of what that person might be like and it is not a person I'd like to be around.

That means the quick fix here is to skip all the "fun" side-tracking and focus on the raw skills you can offer.

The sustainable fix is to figure out why you ever could think this was a good idea in the first place. As my parent poster said the answer to this question might easily also answer to the root cause of a ton of other problems in your life.

Now times of economic distress are not the best time for introspection, but you might wanna address this sooner than later.

Yes to this. We can be out of the norm - and emphasize that - without being "funny". Funny is a dangerous quick road to "unprofessional". Too risky for a resume. Pretty risky for an interview beyond a small dose and even that better be "safe humor".
This is especially true if you want to be seen as a person that takes things (like for example a felony conviction) serious.
I mostly agree, but "incoherent?"

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

- Inigo Montoya

incoherent - adj. - lacking cohesion, i.e., internally inconsistent.
discombobulating might be better, as I agree incoherent just feels out of place in this context, but we can all agree it's a confusing choice to put on his resume. if anything it would be coherent actually because his confusing choices are consistently awkward throughout.
Edit: Looks better with the fixes.

Resume: get rid of the intro, get rid of quirky terms like "buzzwords"/"week-ish", get rid of "keep scrolling [etc]", get rid of "bugs and features" list. You have good well-written experience that is being tarnished by these things.

You have a lot of personality red flags front and center for some reason (e.g. "Hi mom (very dead; very sad)"). I'm not at all surprised you can't find a job with this resume.

Be aware that your first name and last initial is visible when you're editing the doc.

It paints a very good picture of what kind of person they are (and probably why no one will hire them).

In a nutshell, unprofessional.

I'm not sure I agree. I would have before looking at the resume, but I think it's actually kind of clever and resonated with me as a critique against the silliness of buzzwords, while still delivering very useful info (length of experience in specific technologies).

Overall it's loaded with personality, and OP sounds like a fun person to know.

That said, when hiring for a serious role (which most are) it would make a me a little bit nervous. I'd interview them though, which is arguably the whole point of the resume. It would definitely stand out and get my attention.

Just to be clear, you're okay with someone bringing up their dead mom in a "Bugs and Features" list, referencing eating Tide pods and sticking forks in sockets and drinking chemicals under the sink, and even things like this:

> Question: What’s your favorite question? > Answer: Why? (No, literally, “why?”)

It's incredibly inappropriate in a resume.

Heh, I missed the mom reference, but the forks in socket, chemicals under the sink (which they did NOT drink) and tide pod (which they did NOT try) comment was funny and endearing.

It certainly is unusual, and probably inappropriate in a resume, but I've always felt the strict conventional rules for resumes stifle a lot of creativity and strip people of their personality and uniqueness. It probably would get them rejected from most companies, but I think it would also help them get noticed by other companies. They only need to get through to one!

The people complaining about it are just biased. It's typical. Your outlook is atypical.

The reality is everyone is quirky and the only difference is most of this is hidden and covered up with lies and omissions.

Definitely this resume shows he's a bit less self aware and less aware about how other people think. But for a programming job, it's not a red flag.

People who call this stuff red flags don't realize the amount of shit people actually hide. The majority of people have 10x more shit worse than this completely hidden from the resume. This stuff is actually tame. People call it out because it's deviant.

The more serious shit like stole money from my employer or slacked off at work, all of that flies through the filters because nobody puts that shit on their resume and hiring managers are red flagging superficial shit like quirkiness and awkwardness. It shows how biased people actually are. They don't even know how to judge character themselves, they just rely on stereotypes of "professionalism" Just remember the truth about "professionalism"... it's just a way someone appears... It's not an intrinsic part of a human being.

In actuality the quirkiness of his resume shows he's a little bit more honest. He won't stab your ass in the back as he's open about other things people hide.

Actually... the other way to think about it is that hiring managers and coworkers only want to work with people who put up a façade. Nobody wants to deal with the true reality of how people actually are and if someone can't present a good facade he's not a good hire. But either way I would say the chances that this guy stabs you in the back in a really serious way are much lower than someone with a "professional" resume.

I'll be honest, I won't hire this guy based off of the same biases. But I admit my biases and I'm self aware. We don't actually have any real data on whether a person with this type of resume is more likely of ending up being a problem. Everyone just helplessly follows their gut and biases.

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How much rent do you owe? Is everything else in order or are you already stretching credit limits?
I can't use any credit lines due to my agreement with probation.
Disclaimer: I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to this scenario.

Can you form a company and do contracting work instead? It's more work to get work, but maybe they don't need the background check. The companies I've worked with seem to hire contractors more freely than employees.

Definitely apply to jobs on Upwork, sounds like you would be well qualified for a lot of stuff.

  "in... recovery"
  "drank the chemicals beneath the sink"
  "stuck a fork in a light socket"
  "tried a Tide Pod"
  "Hi mom, (very dead; very sad)"
(edit: He removed the truly insane parts from the Google Doc)

You think this is funny, but you sound like a nut. If you're convinced you're actually actually funny, go try stand up. Good luck.

If you are actually autistic like you say, that would explain why you don't get it.

Just cut that out. You can't really afford to turn people off when oh yeah I'm also a felon.

i'm also suffering from alienating people i just met by means of ill-adapted funniness. if one identifies this issue it's probably best to intentionally avoid attempting to be funny at all during the first or even first few interactions.
No you're not funny stop it. But if I'm not funny then am I just boring? Yes. Still stop.
1. People have a different sense of humor, that means what you find funny isn't always what others find funny. If you have a very... peculiar.. sense of humor, it might happen that nobody finds your jokes funny ever.

2. What is funny also depends on the context. The same joke will land differently if you tell it on the internet, in a chat, on a date, in a pub, to a stranger to a friend etc. If you have a hard time understanding what the context does to a joke, don't make them.

3. The purpose of jokes (typically) is to lighten the mood and to ease potential tensions in social situations. If you dice a 0 on joking however the outcome will be that people will see red flags and connect you with that weird guy that totally overdid it for them. If you are constantly rolling zeros, maybe stop rolling because it is hurting yourself.

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2010/06/16/the-failure-state-of-...

> 1. The effectiveness of clever on other people is highly contingent on outside factors, over which you have no control and of which you may not have any knowledge; i.e., just because you intended to be clever doesn’t mean you will be perceived as clever, for all sorts of reasons.

> 2. The failure mode of clever is “asshole.”

One way to consider that all is that it's actually a good way to filter out people who aren't going to want to hire a software engineer that's a felon for computer crimes.
Another perspective is that OP already has massive baggage associated with him so he should tread extremely carefully, not add even more baggage. You want to look like an exemplary employee, not a liability.
Exactly. My idea of someone that I would hire who is a felon is someone that has "learned their lesson" and in this case being dead serious and to the point might help. After all OP wants to convince others that he doesn't do anything stupid again.
Nah not all felons are creeps probably most aren't.
At least when I read it, it said specifically that he had NOT drank the chemicals beneath the sink, or tried a Tide Pod. He DID stick the fork in a light socket. It sounds funny to me, but if it had said that he DID drink the chemicals or the Tide Pods then I would agree it sounds nutty.

Are you sure it said that he DID do those things when you read it?

You may consider looking into industrial / manufacturing positions, even if only temporary. These firms have a desperate need for technically minded people, and often apply programing principles in their engineering processes or physical automation systems. The problem has been so long standing, many don't even advertise for these types of roles anymore and instead pay headhunters' finders fees or have in-house training programs. Walking into their building and inquiring if your skill set could be useful is not at all a bad approach.

Either way, they certainly pay better than retail.

Best of luck, friend; I hope you're able to turn this challenge into an opportunity

Ask Bard/ChatGPT to review your stuff. Add a prompt like "Professional looking" you know? Good luck
1) Deliver with Uber Eats while you're applying for jobs. Strike up a deal with the landlord if you have to. Be open about your situation, tell them you'll pay as much as you can now and will pay them the rest as soon as you have a job.

2) Your resume feels a bit unprofessional; while I like authenticity, you can show that in person during the interview, I wouldn't recommend doing it in your resume. Your resume should be way more boring than it currently is.

> My friends: well, I am usually the person that is supporting them when they are in crisis.

Are your friends even aware of your situation? Have you given them the chance to offer help?

Last time I found myself in a similar situation I told everyone about it. A friend of mine who is bootstrapping a startup offered me some work for enough money to cover my month's expenses. I'm sure his team could have done the work themselves, but he had the work and had the budget and wanted to help.

Given your legal circumstances, you might want to look into moving over to contracting/freelance/consulting anyway. You're less likely to deal with the taboo of your legal situation when engaging as a representative of a company on equal footing. Start with leveraging your network, then LI, then finally hit up Upwork and the like if you're still not finding anything.

    Freelancing sites like Upwork are probably my next go-to,
    even if it rattles my pride and my usual rate, at least I
    won’t be homeless and starving.
There is nothing bad about doing gigs on freelance sites.
I think it's kind of like Walter White being embarrassed to work as a high school teacher instead of as a professor at some fancy university.
The point of Breaking Bad was that Walter White was a self-destructive narcissist.
Others have highlighted various issues of your resume. If I were you, I would try to make your resume fairly generic in style and simply list out your accomplishments.

Remember that the point of a resume is not to get hired, it's to get to an interview.

I would remove anything that "show's your personality" that's not an achievement.

Just FYI, the Google document resumé shows your name and first initial to everyone viewing it while you are making edits.
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I can't help you on the job front, but I found this site a long time ago (I think also on HN) and I've always thought that if I was in your position it would be important to me: https://efficiencyiseverything.com/

They originally got fame because they were grad students trying to live off of tiny wages, so they calculated the most efficient foods in terms of calories per dollar. They have expanded since then, but the basic concept is still there.

I can empathize with your plight. Keep going. It sounds like contracting for a while is a good next step, or perhaps a very early stage startup. I hate to encourage you to mask yourself, but in the job market that is the way it goes.

A recruiter could be an excellent ally for you.

Heads up: you're editing your resume logged-in from Google, and your first name and last initial are public.
I’d be happy to help you revise your resume. You’ve clearly done some great work, but like me, you’re “weird”. Unlike me, you’re comfortable with people knowing it. Haha.

I’m not too bad at concealing this stuff and promoting the good parts after a bit of practice. Let me know if you’d like a review and some advice.

The reality is that us neurodivergents are lucky if we find work where people accept us, and sometimes we have to suck it up and conform effectively in order to make a living. If most teams I’ve been on knew the real me, well, they’d find a way to disappear me pretty quickly. Sometimes you don’t want people to know the real you. That’s not an insult at all so much as an observation of how things go.

I was in a position like this after college and moving to another state with a gf (soon became an exGF).

If you are really down to $16, you are in a dire situation.

I don't know where your family is, but you basically need to move in with them if your legal situation allows. Having $16 while living with family is basically a non issue. They'll feed you and make you get up in the morning.

Being down to $16 on your own is life threatening.

Get back home to family of some sort.

Getting work on up work isn't as easy as it sounds IMO.

When this happened to me at 24, I got a job in car sales even though I had a mechanical engineering degree. I made $8k the first month. $12k the second. 6 months in I had a pipeline and it figured out and averaged $18k a month for a few years. It saved me.

Personally I think the advice for going independent and doing contract work is your best bet, but I think you may be out of funds and time to do that even. You either need family or friends to lend you money, or move back in with family. Moving in with a friend won't cut it, because they aren't as happy to feed you.