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The title of the linked page is "A literary history of fake texts in Apple's marketing materials".
Yeah, don't understand why they chose this title for the submission.
I'm surprised the author missed the most obvious weirdness: Every message ends with a punctuation mark.
> These eerily cheery, aggressively punctuated messages suggest a alternate dimension

I don't believe they did.

woah periods, so aggressive

apple employees: blink twice if you’re okay

Like mine do. And most messages I receive. I find it weird that some started seeing punctuation as some weird imposition.
You even send messages like "lol." with the period?
I don't think I've typed out 'lol' in a message since circa 2005, on online chat in some dark corner of the web. Culture bubbles are an incredible thing.
I don't usually text in English so my style is definitely different, but I wonder if I may be living in the Apple Dimension (despite my last Apple device being an iPod Touch from 10 years ago and a MacBook Air from the same time that I bought used to try to install Linux on it): I do end every one of my texts with grammatically correct punctuation, never use "lol" or other abbreviations, and typically write in a very clean, sometimes too verbose, style. I wonder if something up with "us". Maybe a new pathology name ought to be coined.
There IS a name already. It's literate ;)

Seriously though, I don't mind people who don't as long as its decipherable, but I find it odd giving punctuation (or lack of it) some value judgement.

Someone from the committee checked that
Okay that was surprisingly funny to read through. It's interesting how in isolation the texts are probably fine and work well for demonstrating the software, but taken together they do present an oddly stilted view of the world.
> Dimension Apple trip destinations have become increasingly vague, as the “Road Trip” group chat suggests, part of an overall and troubling vague-ening of the Dimension Apple

This bit was hilarious. It's comfort food in the same vein as the Barbie movie - everyone is polished and no one needs to work.

If you worked on these images, surely you would be irresistably tempted to leave little easter eggs referring to past characters? "Hey Kim, how are you doing?" "Great, thanks! Apart from going a littleh hard on the ravioli last night!".
"Dinh ran off with some floozy from a group chat about the presentation on Tuesday. :cucumber: :sunset: :shoe:"
I worked on many of these! Was on the Marcom team that rebuilt screenshots for content swaps and hi-res output. Every screen went through multiple rounds of approvals by many different teams, including writing. Unfortunately any Easter eggs I tried to hide in there were all caught ;)
Thanks for trying. I think it would have played to Apple’s advantage to keep easter eggs in these but bureaucracies abhor risk.
> rebuilt screenshots for content swaps and hi-res output

Can you explain this work in more detail? Are you basically reconstructing the contents of a screenshot in vector graphics so it can be translated/edited/scaled up but still look correct?

Yep! I worked there from 2007-2012, and at the time we used Photoshop, which on the surface sounds counter-intuitive (being a primarily raster-based program.) We would take screenshots of product (or get screenshots from HI if we weren't allowed access), and would redraw everything in Photoshop at a minimum of 288ppi (4x) using vector shapes and type layers, lots of nested smart objects, and layer effects (back in the iOS <6 days everything had gloss and shadows and reflections.) Content teams pop in retouched photography, photos of employees as avatars, names of employees to go with those avatars, and text to tell a story for that launch. Our 4x vector screens (sometimes well over 2GB PSBs) would then be shared with international teams for translation, and translations would come back to HQ for a final approval. We would also sometimes scale these screens as high as 32x for output to MacWorld / WWDC hero banners which was fun. You better believe we put our names in all these screens (mine appears once in the linked article!)
This is an awesome answer, thank you!

> mine appears once

Hm! Do you like rock climbing? ;)

Haha loved it at the time
Got any insight on how the rickroll in the watchOS contacts slipped through?
Not a past character, but one of the screenshots has a dentist appointment at 2:30, which is an old pun.
"Tooth hurty" is the old pun and that sure counts as Easter egg
I don’t think real world messages would look good in marketing copy, too many emojis, “uhhh”, “no cap” and bathroom pics. I don’t know what the author is expecting/analyzing here.
I’m disturbed that you have a lot of bathroom pics in your texts
Random bathroom selfie seems pretty standard.
There are clearly many texting dimensions.

Bathroom selfies are not a thing in the one I’m a part of.

In what context? From or to multiple people? I don't think I've ever sent or received a bathroom selfie.
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it's not of the toilet, it's where the mirror is
In many cases the former ends up in the mirror reflection anyway.
Gotta show off my creations after all.
He's analyzing what looks good in marketing copy.
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I didn't know "chillax" was a word, especially one that would auto correct "chill".

So from the authors comments, I take it I am a rare minority in that all my texts are in full, grammatically correct sentences, with proper punctuation?

studies show that kids these days interpret texts ending in a period as passive aggressive or something
ok.
calm down bro it's just what i heard
“I’m responsible only for what I say, not what you understand.” – John Wayne
Capitalization at the beginning of your sentence would have made for an even more dramatic effect ;)
In a similar vein, ending with an ellipsis (…), while used by many to indicate thought, consideration, or other sort of pause in speech often comes across to younger readers as a sort of passive aggressiveness or shortness of patience.
Surely it’s always meant that. It’s just a long pause.

I’d think something like “are you serious…” would be pretty universally understood.

It's interpreted as old person, because there's a class of boomer that ends all their sentences with … and then puts them in the middle of half of them too.
and just when you think you've solved the ellipses and fullstop, someone comes along and hits you with the:

  ..
And the plain smile emoji is either a normal amount of happiness, or a malicious serial killer dead-eyes rictus.

:)

> I didn't know "chillax" was a word, especially one that would auto correct "chill".

The picture shows the opposite: you tried to type “chillax” but it is correcting it to “chill”, but offering you to revert the correction.

Quite likely!

There's nothing wrong with either, though, and I wouldn't recommend judging anyone's mastery of style or grammar based on only a single (and quite idiosyncratic) communication channel.

I love going to the Apple store every time a new OS version comes along and browse the various devices on display to see all the fake messages, photos, emails, notes, drawings, bookmarks, etc. they have set up
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This is very funny, but it's also disquieting, because people who text like this absolutely do exist; I know because I'm on the list for the block I live on. Modulo a lack of spelling and grammar errors, this is what normal people sound like. The idea that very normal people behavior is this odd or telling is, itself, pretty telling!
In addition to your block's list, from the article:

> Does the Dimension Apple exist?

> For a long time I have enjoyed the stilted, improbable cheeriness of fake Apple texts for their extreme distance from my own texting habits and experiences. (As my friend Emma put it to our group chat “if any of you texted me like this I would immediately call your significant others to make sure you hadn’t been kidnapped.”) But in the last year or so I have realized that Dimension Apple does exist--or at least overlaps with our own--in one very specific place: The WhatsApp groups that the parents at my son’s daycare/school create to share information or set up play dates. In these groups, and only in these groups, do I encounter the same kind of earnest helpfulness and baffling ebullience that exists in the Dimension Apple. Naturally, I find them totally alienating.

I don't understand this person's expectations: are their text groups gruff, pugnacious, sluggish, and terse?? What is even the point, then?
I text almost exactly like this. Probably both Dimension Apple writers and myself are pretending to be normal in the same way...
I text back and forth like this at the beginning of dating sometimes. Though if that happens, things usually don‘t work out because it means we just don‘t vibe naturally.
I’m also on the list of the block I live on, and people also text like this on that list…

…including, me. On that list.

I think part of what’s disquieting is that there is a “formal text English” that exists (and people know about), but people use it only in certain circumstances, like when you’re texting a group of people that you don’t know very well, and that you don’t want to offend, or that you want to seem “proper” for.

It’s temping to think that what we observe on these lists is how those people are, but every now and then someone on my list will post a message intended for someone else…and it no longer fits “formal text English”.

I suspect this language’s use is highly contextual. To me, part of the the oddness of it all is that I would almost never use formal text English in the contexts shown in these marketing images.

Huh, maybe I'm weird, but I use the same 'voice' in all forms of communication. With the exception of the shorthand I share with my husband, I always text in full, properly formatted sentences and paragraphs. I use the same style for texts, mastodon posts, and long hackernews comments. It's also the same style I typically speak in normal conversation.

Now I think about it, that's probably an autistic trait. I kind of have to carefully construct what I'm saying in any context, and it looks like this.

My hackernews comment drafting process often goes right up to the end of the delay setting I have. Closer to one and done, a la speech, is a habit I'd love to pick up.
My iMessage texting from my computer is quite conversational and detailed, taking particular delight in proper punctuation and spelling.

My texts from my iPhone look like they were created by an AI trained on deranged monkeys attempting to recreate Shakespeare.

I am also very careful to not let the shortcomings of the keyboard alter, in any way, the text I'm composing. Finding [ and ] on a phone are a pain in the rear, but if I'm composing something with links here on HN... it's going to look as much as possible like everything else I post.

For me, technology bends to my will, not the other way around.

Never in my life heard someone use the word “modulo” like this. An older or more formal style would use the word “save” here, or more commonly “except for”
What's making the "apple dimension texts" kinda creepy is not directly the language or lack of typos.

It's the overly formalized way everyone seems to interact regarding anything, the formulation of every little remark showing signs of a communication environment where the participants take care to conform to certain social norms and expectations, like normal people _would_ in spaces with such unspoken constraints (like the list of their block for example) -- but they seem to do that with close friends and family!

Apple should take a page from Hollywood and create an Apple Cinematic Universe where there is continuity on the various storylines and characters created in their presentations.
Maybe they laid the foundation for that with the Mother Nature skit.
Yea, will be interesting to see if there’s more episodes in later events.
Next season, on Apple Tv+. Will Nanditha make it with her friend? Did their trip end in romance?
They do that for certain things, such as when they come up with marketing names for their OSes.
It’s even funnier if you’ve heard of John Bishop.
No article about Apple's staged sample content can be complete without at least an honorable mention of the Raccoon Basement Incident:

https://www.businessinsider.com/apple-displays-weird-message...

A screenshot of (an ominous excerpt from) the basement message is in the article’s “iOS 17” section:

“Hey Mom, I figured out what all that noise coming from the basement is.”

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Are wild racoons that friendly? There is one living in my attic and I've seen racoon claws, so I'm not tempted to try and spook it.
Two days late on the reply, but in case there's any question of the friendliness of raccoons, no, they don't like you and they will fuck you up. If your dog gets hold of one, it's a trip to the vet for stitches. If you have one in your house, and you live in the U. S., I believe you want to call your state's Fish and Wildlife department or Department of Natural Resources, or summat.
He's eating all the mice up there from what I can tell, so I'll leave the fellow for now. Thanks for the advice. I've seen racoons fighting and they really fucked each other up good, so that's why I've been wary of them since.
> they form group chats centered around trips that only one participant was on

It never occurred to me until now, but there's actually a somewhat-coherent "sharing philosophy" woven through many of Apple's products. It seems like Apple envisions a world where social networks and "broadcast"-sharing of content don't exist. In this world, when people want to "tell people" an update about their life, they share that update on a whitelist basis — first meticulously considering exactly the people they want to receive the update, and then pushing the shared item directly into those people's faces as a realtime push-notification-generating event, as if with the intent of starting a synchronous conversation. They may then later rope a few more people into the conversation, as they become relevant — but only on a strictly need-to-know basis. Doing this pings them as well, showing them the whole conversation so far — and they're expected to read back and keep up.

In other words, in "Dimension Apple", nobody has a parasocial desire for people they don't know to see their posts. People only share things with people they know; and even then, only certain friends get to see certain things. And those friends don't mind at all that you had a long conversation that you excluded them from, until you didn't.

Even more intriguingly, in "Dimension Apple", people seemingly only find out news about you because you've shared that news directly with them. No "following" someone; no copying messages from one conversation to another; no gossip, even.

I would say that real people don't work like this... but now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure that this is exactly how people in the upper class — people for whom "discretion" is core to their lifestyle — would prefer all their "sharing" be done.

I feel that a line from this could be traced back to the era prior to ubiquitous social media, where the vast majority of sharing was happening over messengers like AIM, MSN, and Skype or via email, and if you go back Apple stuff at that point was fairly geared around sharing through iChat (AIM) or Mail.app.

There was a period earlier on where macOS and iOS had Facebook and Twitter posting built in where those got some airtime in promotions, but as the shine of social media wore off those integrations disappeared and their promotional material reverted to a world where sharing happened over the modern equivalent to iChat (iMessage) or maybe Mail.app.

> where the vast majority of sharing was happening over messengers

Arguable — mass-mailing async updates (think: postcards) about your life has been ubiquitous for as long as people have been going off and doing interesting things. This evolved into mass-emails. I was BCC'ed a lot of "wedding photos.zip" and "in paris.jpg"s emails in the 1990s; much more often than such a thing was ever directed at me by a friend or relative, let alone directed at me synchronously in a messenger app.

Remember also: messengers back in the 90s and early 2000s didn't have a concept of "server-buffered message sends." For a message to transmit over AIM/ICQ/MSN/etc, both people had to be online at the same time. If you were travelling — and so potentially in a separate time zone — messengers really didn't work very well as a way to send large image files. Until very late in the lives of their protocols, most of them didn't even support sending files!

All very true. My perspective is no doubt skewed by growing up with AIM/MSN and having become an adult and starting doing interesting things right around the time social media had begun to peak, a fair deal after the heyday of mailed postcards and BCC'd email threads.
I think this is mostly how human communication worked until the internet era. Those who aren’t plugged into social media still operate this way - sharing directly with others. In real life, when people interact, they begin by asking “how are you?” Which is the opposite of social media.
Social networks work a lot like mass-mailing your friends and relatives with postcards / greeting cards.

Also, the lack of gossip in "Dimension Apple" is a crucial distinction. You don't need a social network to spread news, if you know that everything you tell that one aunt is going to be repeated on every phone call she makes for the next two weeks. (And she makes a lot of phone calls.)

I'm on no social media (besides this site). The number of times a day I have to say, "no, I didn't see [insert random event here]." Would honestly surprise you.

There is just an expectation in society today that you know everything that's going on in everyone's life. It's very, very strange to me. It's hard to explain why, but I get serious black mirror sort of vibes from it.

No one expects you to view social media all day. That are asking “did you see ___” because they want to tell you about it but first check you haven’t already seen it.
That's not how it goes. The conversations usually lead with them talking about something other people are doing, as if I have any idea what they are talking about. Then I ask them to explain the context. THEN they'll ask if I saw X on Facebook or Insta or whatever.
At least you get asked about those events. In my family I'm known as the guy who knows everything last: often conversations go like "He's been sad for two months now, but it's understandable – Why? What happened? – Well, you know, the break-up... – What? John broke up? I didn't even knew he had someone..."

So now, my mother (who lives on Facebook) usually calls me to let me know when she learns something she might deem important on Facebook. And I honestly appreciate the attention, it's good when you feel that people think about you. And it's usually important information she gives me, because we're not into gossip.

Well, this is how I live. I don't use any broadcast-based social media. The only form I consume would be YouTube or Twitch, I believe without any parasocial weirdness.

After I finish a trip (recently I went to Supai, AZ) I send little bundles of photos to different people via my phone very much like these screenshots.

It would feel a bit weird to me, because it looks like marketing myself and my ego. In blogs or social networks, people only check you if they want.
I think different people could do the same thing for different reasons. For me it's just about catching people up, and sometimes people return the favor.

Regarding social networks, though - people aren't exactly looking at your photos because they want to. Most social networks decide what you see, so the algorithm will put vacation photos in front of you even if you don't like that content.

I agree to some extent. When I had livejournal, it was more authentic. Back then, you always have been seeing everything chronologically, and I hoped my friends will tell me about their lives. Unfortunately, writing is not for everyone, people subscribe to other users, not only their friends now, and algorithm feeds won.
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Wow - fascinating observation!

Feels to me similar to the “companies ship their org chart” concept.

I think what you are describing is how most people use Google Photos, or perhaps Dropbox or iCloud, and I think this is the main way people share photos.
Could this be because Apple doesn't run a social media service? On some levels, are their products/ services competing _against_ social media?

Or is this just part of Apple's (and many of its users') elitist and exclusivist mentality: they're better than everyone else, they don't need to interoperate with the rest of the world, and their sharing is reserved for the select.

(Not all Apple users are like that and probably not even the majority anymore, but it _is_ Apple's mentality, it was the dominant mentality among Mac users, and it's still common enough and OMG loudly pronounced enough by current Mac users.)

it's not Facebook, but iMessage and iCloud Photos are a social media service.
I doubt that anyone on Apple’s C suite has a personal Facebook or other social media. Once you get to a certain level of fame/wealth/corporate importance your social media output will go down or at least become not personal. Having a private social network makes a lot of sense for them. Might be better for everyone else too.
This is what I do. My only “social network” is group chats in messaging clients (and anonymous Internet forums).

Given how many more people lurk in places like Twitter than post, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is more common than extensive social network use (a little social network use is unavoidable—if my wife didn’t have a read-mostly Facebook account, I’d have to)

Stapling vacation photos to every light post in the world is what seems like the bizarro-world behavior, to me. Which is what social network posting is.

Even the forum (custom Perl, then phpnuke, then phpbb) I ran for friends in high school & college was set to no-public-registration and no visibility to unauthenticated users. Like… duh.

Modern social media’s what’s fucking weird, not what we do.

That’s how you communicate when you have a first date set with someone you’ve only talked to through messages. At this point, you can only mess it up and nothing you say can substantially help.
I'm 85% sure that the first road trip pictures with the "secret beach" are taken on the southern side of Banks Peninsula in NZ.
See also: Every Amazon commercial.
> Like a lot of troubled young men, I used to pay close attention to Apple’s developer conferences and special announcements, eagerly anticipating each new generation of iPhone and operating system.

... As a deranged older man, I now collect artifacts from Apple advertisements, to reconstruct the characters and interactions portrayed in their fantasy world, to inform the public about how (for instance) they text differently from real people. In my defense, it's no worse than collecting Princess Di memorabilia, or being crazy into Pokemon or Harry Potter.

Quite the contrary to deranged, I think its exactly in line with someone who collects sports jerseys or old coins with manufacturing defects.

The world of Apple propaganda is expansive and rich, and has more than enough depth to justify a worthwhile hobby.

In fact, at a party or gathering I'd be way more excited to hear about your collection than to hear about a guys collection of stamps or WWI era guns (not to disparage those hobbies, they just don't interest me personally much)

That’s deranged.
Yep. At the end of the day, all humans are moderately deranged. If we were all rational value optimizers, the world would be a lot shittier place.
This doesn't even delve into the hidden deceit!

In the first image, the sender says they went camping in the mountains, but then sends a photo of the seaside. Did they really go camping at all?

In the soapbox derby image, the sender claims they "just finished the latest renderings" for the sushi car design, yet the design is clearly AI generated! They've been lying to the team about how they're creating the designs.

Rich Dinh, who's dominating the chat with his ravioli dish? It's a stock photo by Helen Rushbrook! Is he making anything himself?

How many people in Dimension Apple are secretly struggling like these three? There must be huge pressure to conform.

>yet the design is clearly AI generated! They've been lying to the team about how they're creating the designs.

if the sender is the one tweaking the prompts for the AI to render, then why would they not be correct in saying they are finished with it. you sound like one of those that think any use of AI imagery is wrong.

No, it's just that I think of a render as a 3D render done in a 3D modelling program. I haven't seen anyone say something like "I just finished the latest renderings" when talking about AI image generation before.
I would posit that Dimension Apple also extends into the shows it does product placement in, where they stipulate that villans can't use Apple products.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2020/02/apple-wont-let-f...

Once you see it, it's really hard to unsee and can make certain shows like Law and Order SVU seem like a longform Apple ad. Ted Lasso on Apple TV (and presumably other Apple TV shows too, though I haven't really watched others) is very bad about the amount of Apple product placement and comes close (but doesn't quite) ruin the show.

I find Sony the most egregious example of poor product placement - especially in Spider-Man films
The Apple product placement in Ted Lasso was upsetting. You’re right. It came this close to souring me on a good show. Right up to the point of just dumping it. But even walking that close to the line is disrespectful to one’s audience.
Someone should go find earlier examples of this genre, in ads for consumer online services, as early as the 1980s.
The article's funny, and kind of surreal read considering a dimension fading away while all the characters become cartoons and the landscape becomes vague. Have similar thoughts occasionally.

However, also creepy. Not sure if its the way humans have always written, that ChatAI got too good too fast, or that they all secretly had them all for years (Multiple massive AI releases in a year???, "had em all in a box in the back")

The 2nd image (with pair of images) on the Sharing Photos subsection [1] literally looks like StableDiffusion++. Somebody wrote two prompts, that had something like "Male with frizzy hair next to girl in pink shirt with glasses with brick building behind" and then it didn't care whether it was the same male in both, or what skin color.

Most text also seems weirdly similar to: Generative Agents: Interactive Simulacra [2]

[1] https://maxread.substack.com/i/137044198/sharing-photographs...

[2] https://arxiv.org/pdf/2304.03442.pdf

I highly doubt that they were using Stable Diffusion to generate marketing images in 2013.
Note that it is typically 9:41 AM or 10:09 AM [Watch] in the Apple Dimension.