Could people with aging parents / older people make recommendations for others? Just wondering if there any simple actions I could suggest to help them healthwise mentally / physically.
Nutritious diet and as much exercise as possible. Sarcopenia is a major cause of immobility in the elderly. Lack of activity causes muscle loss which causes further lack of activity. The elderly also tend to have diminished appetite which contributes to that.
Strong, well maintained muscles also lead to generally higher stability. Which means reduced risk of falls, fractures and their complications.
Take care of their mental health. Depression and anxiety often manifest as cognitive impairment in the elderly. Deteriorating senses can cause social isolation and depression.
Compound weight training has been shown to increase bone density and decrease cognitive decline in the elderly regardless of gender. Even starting at a later age (60+) still shows many positive benefits in anecdotal and scientific studies.
matheusmoreira's recommendation sums it up: Nutritious diet and as much exercise as possible.
Dementia is really the worst case scenario. A friend in Germany recently allowed her mother to stop eating, leading to death, in order to avoid further mental decline.
Death is inevitable, the best hope is a healthy happy live until death. So let your parents do whatever they want, don't try to coral them into what seems best to you...
1) Keep moving. Exercise and stretch. Even if it takes half an hour to get going, don't just sit in a chair all day or soon you won't be able to do anything but sit in a chair.
2) Go to the doctor regularly. Listen to them.
3) Encourage them to downsize their home and move into something wheelchair accessible or even assisted living before it becomes medically necessary. This can be really hard for some people to admit that it needs to happen, but it's A LOT harder for everyone when it's forced.
1) Keep moving. Exercise and stretch. Even if it takes half an hour to get going, don't just sit in a chair all day or soon you won't be able to do anything but sit in a chair.
Dad got his mom a physical therapist and she comes multiple times a week to help her either move or just do like light arm workouts
Make sure they keep on top of getting sight & hearing checked, and encourage getting things fixed - my MIL has quite considerable cognitive decline, and with a bunch of ableism and anxiety resisted things like cataract surgery and hearing aids which I suspect could have kept her more engaged with the world for longer - I don't know if it would have made a BIG difference but still worth doing.
Also, support them to move to more supported living arrangements (or living arrangements with step-up care available) before they need it. It would allow better decision-making, and allows more agency to the aging parent.
I only skimmed your list, but I didn't see anything about cataloging assets (e.g. bank accounts, 401-ks, real estate, treasury bonds, loans) and debts. If I die tomorrow, the executor of my estate is going to have a job finding all my assets.
Also maybe list something about pets and where they should go.
> Great point. What do you think would be good to add, in more detail?
The Archdiocese of Toronto has a pretty good estate planning PDF with decent checklists and boxes to fill out with information: individual, spouse, children/dependents, real estate (principal residence, rec property, rental units), bank accounts, safety deposit boxes, vehicles, assets/investments, insurance policies, advisors (lawyer, physician, accountant), will/trustees, desired beneficiaries, power of attorney, funeral/burial:
The Houston SPCA had a very good presentation on Estate Planning and Your Pets. It covered the basics of estate planning, and then covered the specifics about pets. The speaker also addressed planning for incapacity.
This can simply be walking a lot, especially if you're in a more urban area, where you don't have to drive everywhere (either figuratively or literally).
It's a good habit, doesn't feel like exercise, and helps the whole body.
(My brain found the question perplexing: how does one prevent having parents? How prevent them from getting older? Obvious solution seems simple but has terrible repercussions. Most emphatically don't listen to my brain.)
Why: He's a very skeptical, very good scientist, trained as a surgeon, and thinks like an engineer/mathematician, while also having been a life-long athlete (he swam from Catalina to Long Beach more than once).
(1) Motion detection lights above every doorway in the house. (2) Anti-slip pads beneath every carpet. (3) Guardrails and grip points in places where you normally wouldn't consider it (e.g. garden).
I knew the people who made GrandCare. Its some non-invasive monitors in the house -- basically the point is if your mom fell down and can't get up -- it should detect it and alert you. I've not used it, but they've been in business for a while now so I assume its alright.
Adjacent to this, I recommend reading (and perhaps even sharing with your parents) “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. It is a masterpiece on the reality of aging and what is important in managing the process towards a good life and ultimately death.
As someone dealing with a long term, chronic, progressive and currently incurable condition I can say that for me it really helped to find a better focus and conversation around what is important and how to communicate needs and desires towards good outcomes.
Honestly, to get some friends. Wife's dad is divorced and retired. All his friends were work friends and he didn't realize and as soon as he wasn't at work anymore he didn't see them anymore. Now he just sits at home with nothing to do as he made his whole life about work.
So I would very much encourage everyone to get some friends and hobbies before you retire.
Strength training is probably the number one predictor of long-term quality of life. I wish I could recall where I read it so I could offer more than anecdote, but essentially the ability to carry weight is a predictor of your ability to balance and not fall. Lifting weights also increases your bone density which lowers the risk of falls.
In many cases a bad fall precedes deteriorating health and lowered quality of life until the person is ultimately rendered unable to move on their own.
Life heavy things. Don’t overdo it. Try to life heavier things with time. The earlier you start, the better off you are.
Absolutely. I just wanted to get the facts straight that VO2 max is absolutely the most important thing. No reason to not just do everything however. Reaching the point of diminishing returns for VO2 max and strength training is not that difficult and is even easier to maintain than it is to gain.
The point of diminishing returns for benefits to longevity is reached after exercising a couple hours a week for a few years consistently. Then you just need to maintain that. VO2 Max itself can still improve over time but the effect on longevity is not as significant.
I have been incredibly out of shape and overweight most of my life. In the last year I've managed to lose a lot of weight and I started weight training about 8~ months ago. I saw my VO2 go from 33 to 39 (which is still quite low) at a very steady rate and then all of a sudden just plateau at 39. Was absolutely annoying because I thought I had only a month or two left before I hit that 50%/Absolute Average point for my age :(
Sadly (for me), I think this means I actually have to start doing cardio.
I’d recommend StrongLifts 5x5 as a good starting point for anyone who, like me, procrastinates for years due to being totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of conflicting advice on where to start. It focuses on the five major compound exercises, needs minimal equipment found at any gym (or cheaply secondhand) and is quick (30ish minutes 3x per week).
The question for me is, how do I convince them to do anything? I've tried sharing all the stats, buying them a peloton, using scare tactics. Everything. At a certain point you can't convince someone to do anything and unfortunately as one of their children I will have to take care of them like adult toddlers and watch them decline.
Just trying to convince my dad to not fall asleep on his couch watching tv is impossible. They are actually hopeless and I'm already starting to see signs of dementia.
When you get to his age, you'll have seen and experienced enough to
realize activities and fitness and diet are all bullshit. You, like
your dad, will just want to be comfortable.
Many symptoms of inadequate hydration include confusion, memory loss, and balance issues which are often interpreted as early onset dementia. Especially if blood tests don't indicate actual dehydration.
Watch for the flags: minor headache, slight nausea, blood pressure and pulse fluctuations, and constipation to name a few.
And always be skeptical and knowledgeable about the medications prescribed. Learn the side-effects and be ever vigilant about the recommended dosage.
They test for dementia at the hospitals. Unfortunately these tests also say "Dementia! Put them in a home!" if they simply didn't drink enough and let's face it, hospital staff just don't have the resources to ensure everyone drinks enough.
This happened to us and we luckily were aware, gave them enough to drink on our own and everything was completely fine. No dementia whatsoever.
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[ 2.6 ms ] story [ 164 ms ] threadStrong, well maintained muscles also lead to generally higher stability. Which means reduced risk of falls, fractures and their complications.
Take care of their mental health. Depression and anxiety often manifest as cognitive impairment in the elderly. Deteriorating senses can cause social isolation and depression.
daily physical exercise
keep a healthy weight
moderate caffeine intake
high antioxidant, omega 3, nut, leafy green intake (Mediterranean diet)
active social life
Avoid smoking
Avoid drugs
is there any science for this?..
Physically: strength training. low impact aerobic (walking lots and lots)
Mentally: Something to engage the think-melon. The bridge club gang seems to stay sharp far better than the average couch potato.
matheusmoreira's recommendation sums it up: Nutritious diet and as much exercise as possible.
Dementia is really the worst case scenario. A friend in Germany recently allowed her mother to stop eating, leading to death, in order to avoid further mental decline.
Death is inevitable, the best hope is a healthy happy live until death. So let your parents do whatever they want, don't try to coral them into what seems best to you...
1) Keep moving. Exercise and stretch. Even if it takes half an hour to get going, don't just sit in a chair all day or soon you won't be able to do anything but sit in a chair.
2) Go to the doctor regularly. Listen to them.
3) Encourage them to downsize their home and move into something wheelchair accessible or even assisted living before it becomes medically necessary. This can be really hard for some people to admit that it needs to happen, but it's A LOT harder for everyone when it's forced.
Dad got his mom a physical therapist and she comes multiple times a week to help her either move or just do like light arm workouts
Also, support them to move to more supported living arrangements (or living arrangements with step-up care available) before they need it. It would allow better decision-making, and allows more agency to the aging parent.
If your parents are farther along, then be sure you create a care plan so you can continue to help them.
I maintain a free open source care plan template:
https://github.com/joelparkerhenderson/care-plan
Everyone should be into exercise, nutrition, sleep and social interactions.
It does not matter how old you are. You can build a foundation right now that is going to help you have a good quality of life for decades.
Also maybe list something about pets and where they should go.
You can email me joel@joelparkerhenderson.com or do a GitHub issue or PR. Any help you can provide is very much appreciated!
The Archdiocese of Toronto has a pretty good estate planning PDF with decent checklists and boxes to fill out with information: individual, spouse, children/dependents, real estate (principal residence, rec property, rental units), bank accounts, safety deposit boxes, vehicles, assets/investments, insurance policies, advisors (lawyer, physician, accountant), will/trustees, desired beneficiaries, power of attorney, funeral/burial:
* https://www.catholic-cemeteries.ca/wp-content/uploads/2024/0...
[0] https://youtu.be/kPt9B8_shwQ?t=1370
For some possible motivation, some fitness instructors that are 80 years old:
* https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/i-m-a-super-lucky-healthy-person-...
* https://www.dallasnews.com/news/healthy-living/2016/09/27/th...
This can simply be walking a lot, especially if you're in a more urban area, where you don't have to drive everywhere (either figuratively or literally).
See "The Gym of Life":
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPUlgSRn6e0
It's a good habit, doesn't feel like exercise, and helps the whole body.
(My brain found the question perplexing: how does one prevent having parents? How prevent them from getting older? Obvious solution seems simple but has terrible repercussions. Most emphatically don't listen to my brain.)
[0] https://peterattiamd.com/outlive/
Why: He's a very skeptical, very good scientist, trained as a surgeon, and thinks like an engineer/mathematician, while also having been a life-long athlete (he swam from Catalina to Long Beach more than once).
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/pets-appear-to-slow-c...
As someone dealing with a long term, chronic, progressive and currently incurable condition I can say that for me it really helped to find a better focus and conversation around what is important and how to communicate needs and desires towards good outcomes.
So I would very much encourage everyone to get some friends and hobbies before you retire.
In many cases a bad fall precedes deteriorating health and lowered quality of life until the person is ultimately rendered unable to move on their own.
Life heavy things. Don’t overdo it. Try to life heavier things with time. The earlier you start, the better off you are.
Also, strength training does not necessarily mean benching 3 plates. Also it does not mean 0 cardio.
wondering why do you think so about VO2 max? This is my focus, and I see slow but linear growth over many years.
When body will start fading, and maintaining will be harder, then developed buffer may start playing more significant role.
Sadly (for me), I think this means I actually have to start doing cardio.
SL is a convenient (free; with paid upgrade) app that gets the basic going, but it is basically a copy of the Starting Strength program/book.
* https://startingstrength.com/get-started/programs
* https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNhFKPjedRnQ_qs4ID5gl...
* https://www.youtube.com/@startingstrength/videos
There is no preventing death but people can be healthy and feel valued into great old age with family, community support.
Additionally I think futile medical procedures or efforts toward the end of life should be avoided. Quality of life over quantity.
Talk to them. Listen to them. You will find everything else follows from there.
Just trying to convince my dad to not fall asleep on his couch watching tv is impossible. They are actually hopeless and I'm already starting to see signs of dementia.
Many symptoms of inadequate hydration include confusion, memory loss, and balance issues which are often interpreted as early onset dementia. Especially if blood tests don't indicate actual dehydration.
Watch for the flags: minor headache, slight nausea, blood pressure and pulse fluctuations, and constipation to name a few.
And always be skeptical and knowledgeable about the medications prescribed. Learn the side-effects and be ever vigilant about the recommended dosage.
They test for dementia at the hospitals. Unfortunately these tests also say "Dementia! Put them in a home!" if they simply didn't drink enough and let's face it, hospital staff just don't have the resources to ensure everyone drinks enough.
This happened to us and we luckily were aware, gave them enough to drink on our own and everything was completely fine. No dementia whatsoever.