I thought this was going to be BS, as I do all numbered lists [1], but it's actually pretty good. Here's a TLDR, but the elaborations on each point are worth reading:
1. The world is trying to keep you stupid.
2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.
3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.
4. Connect with everyone, all the time.
5. Don’t waste time being shy.
6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.
7. Have as much contact as possible with older people.
8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.
9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW.
10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.
11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences.
12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.
13. Learn to program.
14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.
No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true
the item on the list says expresses a different idea.
> 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.
You can only educate yourself. However institutions can help a lot. As for outdated curriculum: guess how old Newtonian physics and calculus is. Now think how many still have problem grasping these.
> 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.
Agree with the first part. The second part is oxymoron.
> 4. Connect with everyone, all the time.
Bullshit.
> 5. Don’t waste time being shy.
Bullshit.
> 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.
Ok.
> 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people.
Why?
> 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.
Why?
> 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW.
Why? Do I need to do the crazy stuff at all? Also, not sure about the whole getting more conservative thing.
> 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.
Ok.
> 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences.
Whatever.
> 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.
Whatever.
> 13. Learn to program.
Why? Why program, not plumbing? I think people to often conflate programming and reasoning skill.
> 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.
How about not getting fat?
>15. Learn to cook
Ok
> 16. Sleep well
Ok
> 17. Get a reminder app for everything
Bullshit.
> 18. Choose something huge to do
Ok
> 19. Get known for one thing.
Whatever.
> 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone.
Mostly true. But you can be a good help for someone who really tries to change.
No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea.
He is actually right, in several ways. For example, how do you find the average joke posted by a friend on Facebook? Also TV is called the idiot box for a reason. And its not easy to break the addictive traps. And this is just one way.
Similarly if one _thinks_ there is a lot of weight in other points as well. But of course one has to interpret them in one's own context.
I just started watching CCTV (Chinese State TV in English - Broadcasting locally from 'Cornroe' Texas), and the contrast with ABC/NBC/CBS etc., is amazing.
Actually foreign news, not just US forces adventures, and human interest.
Do yourself a favor and watch at least source of foreign news, such as the BBC, CCTV, CNN Intl, Al Jazeera etc.
Concerning your conservative remark: hands down the best high school class I took was my US government class. It taught one all the shit about the political process...practical stuff (as opposed to the literary significance of Hamlet) every adult should know in order to make informed voting decisions. Stuff that one most likely will not learn anywhere else unless they put effort into doing so (and we all know how motivated the general public is to do that).
One of the things they touched upon in the early chapters was how people, in general, are more liberal in their youth and, as they acquire wealth and other serious assets (mortgage, family, 20 foot boat, etc), they become more set in their ways and thus, conservative. Makes sense when you think about it...
Conservative is an overloaded word. If you read the blurb following conservative it seems like he's using it in the sense of risk-aversion not in the sense of political spectrum. Both tend to be true facts of life, but the idea of trying to accomplish big things when you can take more risks is the more important one.
#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At least put an X button on that thing.
The Subscribe by Email floater is what drove me batty, on a laptop. Stuff floating to the left not apparently docked to anything should move when I scroll!
Edit: it's a good list, though. Content > presentation, when it comes to actual reading material.
Also, if you're going to make a gimmicky website like that, at least have the decency to have something happen when I click on the door or the fan or whatever.
I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20.
I am trying to accomplish some of these now.
3. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back.
9. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference between my younger cousins and I.
10. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs.
13. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides python.
14. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go.
13) A word of advice based on what I perceive your experience level to be: focus more on really learning Python than amassing a list of languages with whose syntax you are familiar. Once you master Python, then Java, Ruby, etc. will be easy to learn. Employers understand this. The ones you want to work for, at least.
Too many people who are new to programming assume they need to learn all the languages. What you really need to learn is the theory behind each lesson. When learning loops don't think "so this is how you do a loop", rather think about why you are looping, when, and what types of loops there are.
All the languages (listed above) have looping mechanisms, and you will use them for the same reasons you did in python. You will know when to use loops, and then you can just look up the syntax for the language you are currently in.
Stay motivated, but keep in mind that your body gains strength/endurance/etc during your rest periods, not while exercising and breaking down muscle. Unless you're seeing good results, I'd consider more full rest days.
At a tender age of 20, were you sir a Johns Hopkins Biology student faced with an essay question in a final exam about the types of reproduction in the Cnidaria phylum?
But after the exam and with nothing further to lose, you tried to get to The Block to escape the nonsensical world of jellyfish sex for something more practical; however, lacking directions ended up in a even sketchier part of town and during some ensuing endeavors, caught the claps? And finally experiencing natural selection yourself.
I think #8 is silly at best. I'm not even sure I know what is meant by "cooler," but whatever the definition the statement does not seem like sage advice from an elder. I am 32 now; I got over thinking about who was cool and who was not when I was 15.
I read that point more as: "You end up being like the people you hang out with". So if you want to be a successful programmer, hang out with other successful programmers. If you want to be a successful businessperson hang out with other successful businesspeople.
It's just a different way of saying: Your network matters and is way more important than most geeks would like to think.
I think it has to do with not being average/mediocre. Basically hang out with people that are pushing the envelope (for various definitions of envelope), and hopefully you will be lifted up too.
How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious and laid back?
am·bi·tious (adjective)
1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.
2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve.
laid back (adjective)
1. Relaxed or unhurried.
2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.
That apparent contradiction is really what makes cool so hard. It's not just about being amped up at 10 or being a bump on the log at 0. It's about being a 10 at where you're going while you make it look like you're at 0. You kick ass, but you make it look like it's easy and you're not trying.
One of the best entrepreneurs I've ever worked with had that quality. The guy was focused like a laser on where he was going, but I never saw him get upset or look like he wasn't in control of himself and the given situation. He exuded "cool" and he attracted people like a magnet.
Can't one be cool without being concerned about appearance?
I think coolness is about how one responds to situations, esp those unexpected.
Think about how people talk to gate agents when their flight gets cancelled. Those that are reasonable and rational are cool (as in cool headed). Those that yell are not. They also tend to get more of what they desire while not making enemies.
The definition of cool should not be stuck in a 15 year old's perspective of jocks vs. nerds.
"Cool" is undefinable and you also need to consider one thing. Look a the number of cool people you've known who are unsuccessful because they view being cool as a priority rather than other things in their lives. A lot of people I went to school with 20 years ago are in basically the same jobs they got when they left school. They earned money at that time which seemed amazing to people with no income, got to do more fun stuff because they had the money etc.
Fast forward 20 years and they're in the same place. Just the "uncool" kids have overtaken them by a long way.
It's about finding the RIGHT people to hang out with not just ones who seem cool. If you're 20, your idea of cool is different to when you're 35.
MY advice would be to hang around with people that challenge you because that is really what people need.
The image I carry is of a special forces soldier in movies/tv: "the situation is not what we prepared for. crap. okay, let's move forward with our skillset."
Trying to emulate this in bad situations seems to always work out to my benefit, even though I'm not being shot at. Accept your situation, and start problem solving from it, not from what you expected. This is an amazingly important skill and gives what results in the air of relaxed and unflappable. That is what I think the author is labeling as cool.
It's not about "cool" in terms of having the right sneakers or knowing the best band on the cusp of fame that only a couple hundred people listen to ("I listened to them before they were big, man ..."). That's hipster cool, teenager cool, and it's ephemeral and ultimately has almost nothing real at stake.
Instead, it's "cool" in terms of "cool under fire" - having self-assurance and confidence to know whatever happens, no matter what that is, I'll handle it. Or I'll handle the consequences of not handling it.
That latter kind of cool is what you need to lead men into combat, win an Olympic medal, or start a meaningful and profitable company. It's coolness dedicated to a mission, a purpose.
This is a fantastic list, though I have to nitpick on this one:
>2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you
Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.
I think he was referring to the general idea of fully trusting something to educate you. People make mistakes, including those who are teaching you. I think what he meant is that we also need to do our homework and do our own research from time to time.
The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone.
Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be cool.
If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for everyone else's.
I feel a no true scotsman coming on, but are those people actually cool? Or are they just posers?
I read the advice not as "spend time with people who have a well engineered social image" but "spend time with people who are genuinely more interesting, knowledgeable, capable, effective than you are".
Intelligent people can translate the most idiotic sentences to be meaningful and articulate. That's great and all, I do it too. Just know what you're doing.
This comment is all negative. I can't stand that. There is no one way to interpret a piece of writing, and I wish people didn't act like just because they were curmudgeonly in their reading, other people were as well.
The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone.
I've heard this sentiment before and I don't get it. If it makes you feel better to have authors qualify every sentence with "In my opinion ...," you ought to simply imagine it there, not force that kind of timid writing on everyone else.
It would not have improved the piece. Short & punchy would become long and meandering, with all sorts of little details and things to nitpick at and complain about.
(Indeed, the cynic in me can't help but read this as a complaint that the essay isn't full of such small things to nitpick about and use to casually dismiss it, as is our mental habit... but perhaps that's too cynical.)
Besides, all attempts at wisdom transfer like this have the problem that if you understood the explanation, you almost certainly didn't need it in the first place. You're better off just spending some time in thought about these sorts of essays, asking yourself how and why someone saw fit to write these things, wondering what experiences they had that led them to these conclusions...
... or, more likely, not, until about 15 years later.
When I was taught about conflict resolution in secondary (yes, we have classes on that in Norway) the main theme was to separate fact from personal opinion.
The best way to do that (according to my teachers) was to ground your argument in a fact and apply your opinion in an obvious way. Ie. I think the goverment is .... because they .....; Rather than: The goverment is ....
Any scientific paper knows this, which is why they cite a dozen other papers. So then you can say "I think B because this person found out A".
Agreed. I find myself increasingly annoyed by the tone of people who have discovered that the Great Secret of Life is having kids/getting up at 5AM/exercising for hours every day/eating nothing but meat and vegetables, and if you don't do that you're a pathetic specimen who will never amount to anything.
I'm curious to know if anyone who doesn't feel like they might be successful doing something someone else points out as a good practice has actually TRIED doing it.
If you've tried something and it didn't work out, write up a rebuttal and post it! Personally I'm a little dismayed at the negativity surrounding these posts when it's obvious that everyone is armchair quarterbacking here.
But posts like this are armchair quarterbacking everybody else's lives. If the guy phrased these purely as personal lessons and talked some about how he learned them, he would be much less grating.
What really kills me is his bio. "Hi, I’m Julien Smith.I help people lead more productive, awesome lives— one day at a time. This is my blog. If you like it, please subscribe below."
For me that might as well read: "Hi! I'm an overconfident asshole who gets off on telling people I've never met how they should be awesome exactly like me. And I get paid for it! Please let me manipulate you into buying my stuff."
I'm not telling him what to do. He's welcome to carry on being a huckster. But I'm allowed to critique his writing and his business model, just like everybody else.
Just give it a couple of decades. You'll get used to everyone around you spouting off about a Meaning Of Life that you think is total bullshit... eventually.
they could be genuinely trying to help you by telling you what worked for them
Sure, that's often the case. And then there's ridiculous arrogance like "All your accomplishments are pointless without your child next to you", from a recent parenting thread. (And that's a case where "trying" it to see if it works would be an exceptionally bad idea).
A positive person extracts what he or she finds useful and dumps the rest. It's pretty obvious these "commands" worked for him, and you should take them with your own judgement. Getting annoyed by this is a waste of time, look at point 20. and see if it makes your life easier.
Think of "cooler" as "more like what you aspire to be." For some people, that might be dressing a certain way or acting tough. For others, it might be acting more confident or being more productive.
Obviously, it did not work even for the author - he has learned these wisdoms while being on his way through life. Learning is achieved by doing, and not by reading through commandment lists. Try to follow more than 3 points at once - you won't manage. For most people, doing so would also go against their current state of mind (their nature). I don't get why this link has been upvoted so high.
Sounds like he's talking to his younger self, not commanding a gang of people on the the internet whom he doesn't even know.
This is just another one of the endless lists of N things posts that proliferate on the intarwebs. Take it if it benefits you or leave it if it doesn't.
You know why they are called edge cases and exceptions? Because they are (sometimes) uncommon or (usually) rare. Statistically speaking, you are not at all special. You probably will never have a thought no one has thunk, and your opinion of what is great and awesome about how you are different will turn out to be nothing special in retrospect (like most people who ever live discover). Try taking some advice and actually be the outlier you are trying to be, not "rebelliously" rejecting it like every young person ever has done in some fucked up attempt to be unique the same way everyone else who ever lived has done.
You are not special, get over yourself (oh no! command... best rebel and complain, its lazier and easier than learning or thinking about it).
Why don't you just accept that the blog post isn't for you, instead of wasting your time trying to tear it down? Nobody made you read it. He's not actually ordering YOU to do anything. He wrote in a way that reaches his actual audience, which obviously isn't you.
Your comment's about as useful as the reviews I saw recently on Amazon for a Reader's Digest book on travel -- the angry reviewers complained, essentially, that it's Reader's Digest style for a Reader's Digest audience.
The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you from failure is a sure fire way of being doomed to a life of failure.
That is true advice and you can actually accomplish a lot by adjusting your attitude about failure. I personally try to consider something a success as long as I attempt it - regardless of the actual outcome. If I don't even try, that is failure to me. If I try and it doesn't work - that's still a success because I made an attempt and most likely learned something along the way.
This article is obviously written by someone (at least mentally) under the age of 35. Always try to be cooler and more accepting than others? WTF. I gave that up years ago. There too much to deal with in life without worrying about what is cool.
In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary.
But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic what other people think.
Also:
>Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken.
Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long run.
On "fixing": ultimately, people don't get fixed. My experience is that they tend to become more of who they are with age. Looking back over people I've known for three and going on four decades, it's amazing how early the fundamentals of personality are laid down, though there can be substantial changes especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Past that, traumatic experiences (war, violence, drugs, abuse) can literally leave brain (and emotional) scars.
There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close.
The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.
speed reading is fun. it ends up generating people who just tell you a few key sentences or words they have read, genuinely thinking they're saying something smart/that make sense etc.
While they generally don't grasp the meaning, subject, of what they're saying. It's this must-have-read-everything syndrome, but you don't actually gain anything from it. Just like the hundred of news items on HN tbh.
It's great that you took the opportunity to reflect on your life. I would have enjoyed seeing more context to some of the points though. Given the HN community, "Learn to program" might be a consensus, but I would love to get more of your thoughts on it. Why? Any stories? I pick this point as just an example, but I felt there were more than a few places where some anecdotes would have worked very well.
While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).
Well, I've always considered emotional decisions to be poorer than decisions made with logic.
Say if you're considering buying a new thing, is it just an impulsion to get the endorphin rush, or logically do you need that item?
Or maybe it's a moral question. You're 20. A friend's cute sister wants to have a beer with you. Logically you can see where it could lead and the negative impact it will have on your friend and yours relationship. On the other hand, you're getting all sorts of cues from your emotions to go for it. That's evolution for you, we're wired that way. So these two things are at two very opposite ends of the spectrum.
I've considered logical decision making to be a superior route for some time, and I thought that was somewhat well accepted. To hear the opposite just kind of threw me.
Personally, I agree with you, here, and that has always been my policy.
It seems to me like the author of the article agrees, too, though. I think he's saying that shyness comes from putting your emotions first, and I assume he thinks shyness is a bad thing.
Here is my list. The other person has a small mind, but you guys should already know that.
1. Burn bridges to the ground. People you grew up with are not the relationships you made after having decided what you will do with your life.
2. Leave your family behind, they will only drag you down.
3. Reinvent your field of interest. The methodoligies used to progress it to it's current level most certainly weren't through, accurate, or designed from a large perspective.
4. After you grow up from asking questions for other people to answer, begin to ask questions no one knows the answer to. Find answers to those questions which are important to you.
5. Look around you, observe the people of your city, observe how it was designed, learn why it is dysfunctional. People are stupid, so don't let them have any say so in your life.
6. Computer Science is largely untapped. It's a great field for thinkers and builders to make their own. We will soon have an intelligence explosion and those who are controlling it will reign supreme. Be one of those people.
7. Never ever depend on the analysis of another person. If someone is influential to you and it is affecting your decisions in life. Stop. Learn enough of what you think they know in order to make better assessments.
If I look at my surface-level emotions, that's what I see. If I scrape deeper, I realize it is more related to me not connecting, so my opinions don't seem to resonate. If I dig even deeper, I realize it is often me projecting how I expect somebody will respond, thereby circumventing the need for them to actually respond.
But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to ignore it.
(FWIW, I appreciated your opinion on this. This point struck e, too, but it wasn't until I saw your comment that so closely echoed my own feelings that I stopped to put more thought into it.)
From my experience, these are things I wish I had known, not should have known, at 20. As Rod Stewart said, "I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger."
162 comments
[ 2.8 ms ] story [ 237 ms ] thread1. The world is trying to keep you stupid.
2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.
3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.
4. Connect with everyone, all the time.
5. Don’t waste time being shy.
6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.
7. Have as much contact as possible with older people.
8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.
9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW.
10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.
11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences.
12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.
13. Learn to program.
14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.
15. Learn to cook
16. Sleep well
17. Get a reminder app for everything
18. Choose something huge to do
19. Get known for one thing.
20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone.
[1] Change the title to "Things I Should Have Known at 20" http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
My addition: don't make shallow lists like this.
No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea.
He is actually right, in several ways. For example, how do you find the average joke posted by a friend on Facebook? Also TV is called the idiot box for a reason. And its not easy to break the addictive traps. And this is just one way.
Similarly if one _thinks_ there is a lot of weight in other points as well. But of course one has to interpret them in one's own context.
Actually foreign news, not just US forces adventures, and human interest.
Do yourself a favor and watch at least source of foreign news, such as the BBC, CCTV, CNN Intl, Al Jazeera etc.
One of the things they touched upon in the early chapters was how people, in general, are more liberal in their youth and, as they acquire wealth and other serious assets (mortgage, family, 20 foot boat, etc), they become more set in their ways and thus, conservative. Makes sense when you think about it...
Edit: it's a good list, though. Content > presentation, when it comes to actual reading material.
Your content is or should be the most important part. The rest of your blog should be subservient to the content.
Sent from my iPhone. (Note: really android but iPhone for dramatic effect)
I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20.
I am trying to accomplish some of these now.
3. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back.
9. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference between my younger cousins and I.
10. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs.
13. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides python.
14. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go.
20. A very simple statement. That is very true.
Too many people who are new to programming assume they need to learn all the languages. What you really need to learn is the theory behind each lesson. When learning loops don't think "so this is how you do a loop", rather think about why you are looping, when, and what types of loops there are.
All the languages (listed above) have looping mechanisms, and you will use them for the same reasons you did in python. You will know when to use loops, and then you can just look up the syntax for the language you are currently in.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)
Would have saved me 3 agonizing years.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_M...
But after the exam and with nothing further to lose, you tried to get to The Block to escape the nonsensical world of jellyfish sex for something more practical; however, lacking directions ended up in a even sketchier part of town and during some ensuing endeavors, caught the claps? And finally experiencing natural selection yourself.
Only way one'd memorize those three things.
Limiting the size of the page horizontally improves readability.
Limiting the size of the page vertically is just annoying.
I would add something about not burning bridges.
It's just a different way of saying: Your network matters and is way more important than most geeks would like to think.
Those are mostly about developing the characteristics of a leader -- someone others admire and want to follow.
One of the best entrepreneurs I've ever worked with had that quality. The guy was focused like a laser on where he was going, but I never saw him get upset or look like he wasn't in control of himself and the given situation. He exuded "cool" and he attracted people like a magnet.
I think coolness is about how one responds to situations, esp those unexpected.
Think about how people talk to gate agents when their flight gets cancelled. Those that are reasonable and rational are cool (as in cool headed). Those that yell are not. They also tend to get more of what they desire while not making enemies.
The definition of cool should not be stuck in a 15 year old's perspective of jocks vs. nerds.
Fast forward 20 years and they're in the same place. Just the "uncool" kids have overtaken them by a long way.
It's about finding the RIGHT people to hang out with not just ones who seem cool. If you're 20, your idea of cool is different to when you're 35.
MY advice would be to hang around with people that challenge you because that is really what people need.
The image I carry is of a special forces soldier in movies/tv: "the situation is not what we prepared for. crap. okay, let's move forward with our skillset."
Trying to emulate this in bad situations seems to always work out to my benefit, even though I'm not being shot at. Accept your situation, and start problem solving from it, not from what you expected. This is an amazingly important skill and gives what results in the air of relaxed and unflappable. That is what I think the author is labeling as cool.
It's not about "cool" in terms of having the right sneakers or knowing the best band on the cusp of fame that only a couple hundred people listen to ("I listened to them before they were big, man ..."). That's hipster cool, teenager cool, and it's ephemeral and ultimately has almost nothing real at stake.
Instead, it's "cool" in terms of "cool under fire" - having self-assurance and confidence to know whatever happens, no matter what that is, I'll handle it. Or I'll handle the consequences of not handling it.
That latter kind of cool is what you need to lead men into combat, win an Olympic medal, or start a meaningful and profitable company. It's coolness dedicated to a mission, a purpose.
>2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you
Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.
Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be cool.
If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for everyone else's.
Or putting yourself and ideas out there to let people take them apart and see what holds or what you can improve.
I read the advice not as "spend time with people who have a well engineered social image" but "spend time with people who are genuinely more interesting, knowledgeable, capable, effective than you are".
I've heard this sentiment before and I don't get it. If it makes you feel better to have authors qualify every sentence with "In my opinion ...," you ought to simply imagine it there, not force that kind of timid writing on everyone else.
Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVoQ5jde1yQ
(Indeed, the cynic in me can't help but read this as a complaint that the essay isn't full of such small things to nitpick about and use to casually dismiss it, as is our mental habit... but perhaps that's too cynical.)
Besides, all attempts at wisdom transfer like this have the problem that if you understood the explanation, you almost certainly didn't need it in the first place. You're better off just spending some time in thought about these sorts of essays, asking yourself how and why someone saw fit to write these things, wondering what experiences they had that led them to these conclusions...
... or, more likely, not, until about 15 years later.
The best way to do that (according to my teachers) was to ground your argument in a fact and apply your opinion in an obvious way. Ie. I think the goverment is .... because they .....; Rather than: The goverment is ....
Any scientific paper knows this, which is why they cite a dozen other papers. So then you can say "I think B because this person found out A".
If you've tried something and it didn't work out, write up a rebuttal and post it! Personally I'm a little dismayed at the negativity surrounding these posts when it's obvious that everyone is armchair quarterbacking here.
What really kills me is his bio. "Hi, I’m Julien Smith.I help people lead more productive, awesome lives— one day at a time. This is my blog. If you like it, please subscribe below."
For me that might as well read: "Hi! I'm an overconfident asshole who gets off on telling people I've never met how they should be awesome exactly like me. And I get paid for it! Please let me manipulate you into buying my stuff."
You're armchair quarterbacking -- the OP isn't.
You're commenting on his actual web site, telling everybody how it should be. That is armchair quarterbacking.
He wrote a blog post for a general audience. It wasn't about you. It didn't describe specifics of your life. It didn't question your judgment.
I don't think they're trying to prove that they're better than you, they could be genuinely trying to help you by telling you what worked for them.
Life is easier if you learn to trust by default.
Sure, that's often the case. And then there's ridiculous arrogance like "All your accomplishments are pointless without your child next to you", from a recent parenting thread. (And that's a case where "trying" it to see if it works would be an exceptionally bad idea).
That's a fully general counterargument.
Cool is different things to different people.
He's really just trying to share what he's learned and it seems very honest.
It's not like "you should follow me on Twitter" at all.
And for the record I am much older than him and his suggestions are pretty good ones.
This is just another one of the endless lists of N things posts that proliferate on the intarwebs. Take it if it benefits you or leave it if it doesn't.
... oops, was that a command? ;)
You are not special, get over yourself (oh no! command... best rebel and complain, its lazier and easier than learning or thinking about it).
Your comment's about as useful as the reviews I saw recently on Amazon for a Reader's Digest book on travel -- the angry reviewers complained, essentially, that it's Reader's Digest style for a Reader's Digest audience.
If you don't like it, don't read it.
Submission URL should be changed to: http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...
In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary.
But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic what other people think.
Also: >Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken.
Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long run.
There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close.
The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.
While they generally don't grasp the meaning, subject, of what they're saying. It's this must-have-read-everything syndrome, but you don't actually gain anything from it. Just like the hundred of news items on HN tbh.
While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).
This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not know what to think of that.
Say if you're considering buying a new thing, is it just an impulsion to get the endorphin rush, or logically do you need that item?
Or maybe it's a moral question. You're 20. A friend's cute sister wants to have a beer with you. Logically you can see where it could lead and the negative impact it will have on your friend and yours relationship. On the other hand, you're getting all sorts of cues from your emotions to go for it. That's evolution for you, we're wired that way. So these two things are at two very opposite ends of the spectrum.
I've considered logical decision making to be a superior route for some time, and I thought that was somewhat well accepted. To hear the opposite just kind of threw me.
It seems to me like the author of the article agrees, too, though. I think he's saying that shyness comes from putting your emotions first, and I assume he thinks shyness is a bad thing.
1. Burn bridges to the ground. People you grew up with are not the relationships you made after having decided what you will do with your life.
2. Leave your family behind, they will only drag you down.
3. Reinvent your field of interest. The methodoligies used to progress it to it's current level most certainly weren't through, accurate, or designed from a large perspective.
4. After you grow up from asking questions for other people to answer, begin to ask questions no one knows the answer to. Find answers to those questions which are important to you.
5. Look around you, observe the people of your city, observe how it was designed, learn why it is dysfunctional. People are stupid, so don't let them have any say so in your life.
6. Computer Science is largely untapped. It's a great field for thinkers and builders to make their own. We will soon have an intelligence explosion and those who are controlling it will reign supreme. Be one of those people.
7. Never ever depend on the analysis of another person. If someone is influential to you and it is affecting your decisions in life. Stop. Learn enough of what you think they know in order to make better assessments.
But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to ignore it.
(FWIW, I appreciated your opinion on this. This point struck e, too, but it wasn't until I saw your comment that so closely echoed my own feelings that I stopped to put more thought into it.)