Tabloid: The Clickbait Headline Programming Language (tabloid.vercel.app)

Missed opportunity for loops to be

BREAKING NEWS … KEEP READING TO DISCOVER

DETAILS AT [11]

[11] https://github.com/thesephist/tabloid/blob/master/README.md#...

It’s been too long since something like this has happened. Kudos.

BREAKING NEWS! This is the perfect amount of stupid. I'm going to see if I can't convince my team to convert our codebase over ASAP. FOLLOW ME to find out how it goes.

Now we just need the companion turing complete languages:

Thunderfoot - write screenplays for youtube videos debunking articles written in Tabloid

Fisker - Writes troll posts to discord/irc/steam community to highlight how awesome TOPIC in AWESOME ARTICLE written in Tabloid is

Shitlist - Generates awesomelists repos on github for TOPIC

This is refreshingly ridiculous.

Popular in:

2020 (245 points, 38 comments) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24578749

2024 (217 points, 29 comments) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40964261

Missed opportunity:

The joke should be that regardless of the program you write, nothing happens. No real signal, just like most real clickbait content.

This would benefit from combining the literal rules from TrumpScript [0]:

> All numbers must be strictly greater than 1 million. The small stuff is inconsequential to us.

[0]: https://github.com/samshadwell/TrumpScript

this is hilarious, thanks for the laughs!

Love the energy and keyword selections. But also probably a great exercise to have gone through that I've always considered doing

Missed opportunity to title the post/submission “Will this programming language revolutionize software development?” :)

The title of the post should have been "SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT".

I love it.

Love `TOTALLY RIGHT` and `COMPLETELY WRONG` as boolean, but `TRUTH` and `FAKE NEWS` sounds better. Too much social media consumption makes me feel that "truth" or "fact" are kinda sarcastic.

It also reminds me TrumpScript: https://github.com/samshadwell/TrumpScript

So brainrot and brainfuck had a baby?

I think it could be improved by ADDING A FEATURE with multiple texts for the same mechanic.

Less repetitive == MORE AWESOME

And of course, harder to learn/understand.

Write amazing programs with this one weird trick

If you make sure it follows the style of COBOL. we can document it in the history books!

I'm more of a KTHXBYE kinda guy.

This is the heart and soul of hacker news

This gave me a laugh! Some variation of "the Top Five Most Popular Quirks and Features" from the description could be a good way to define arrays on size n (e.g. perhaps numerical instead of Five).

How about CONSIDERED HARMFUL as a postfix negation operator?

I used this language in a workshop on parser construction at MCH2022. The particepants where asked to construct the grammar for the language, which proved harder than I had expected for most of them.

Not written in Rust? Instant pass!