Well, I can only quote Pushkin's letter to Vyazemsky (used Google AI to translate; in the letter Pushkin wrote about Lord Byron's lost personal memoirs):
"The crowd greedily reads confessions, memoirs, etc., because in its baseness it rejoices at the humiliation of the high, the weaknesses of the mighty. At the discovery of every vice it is in raptures: 'He is small like us, he is vile like us!' You lie, you scoundrels! He may be small and vile—but not like you—differently!"
Chekhov had such an influence on me as a young, hyper-insecure teen. Chekhov's craft is powerful and widely taught but it's his thematic elements that I really loved. he made a habit of setting up a deeply unlikeable character in the first act, slowly revealing their tragedies and traumas that led them to their insecurity, and the selective love they put into the world so by the final act you're weeping for someone who you scoffed at at first impression. for someone who was so convinced that people disliked or hated him, it was a real balm to know that there were those advocating for the strongest form of compassion as the default mode and not just an occasional, extraordinary act
I think it is important to separate the artist's life from their works of art.Their lives are in some way immaterial to the enjoyment of their work, which even they themselves may not fully comprehend.
Also life is messy:
“You know how you’re always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it’s real difficult in life"
Marshall McLuhan: I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work! You mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing!
As a person, unfortunately accursed with an ability to read Chekhov in original, I just say that you should take Chekhov and Gogol and leave tolstoevsky at it's honorary doorstop place.
Also, communist-era science fiction in the accursed language reads much better than anything written in English in the same period (and beyond), if only for the fact that it doesn't suffer from the apocalyptic framing and general doom and gloom. Also, whoever posted the starfish here a few weeks ago, thanks, I wish I could unread it.
Chekhov's plays more than his stories are instructive here. His masterwork, The Cherry Orchard turns in large part on the intentions of Lophahkin the merchant upstart and whether he loves Varya who is attached to a higher social eshelon. In the scene where Lopahkin, is supposed to propose to Varya, he stalls until he is called away, a reflection of the playwright's and the character's ambivalence towards romantic love. In the early one act The Bear, the Widow claims to be "in morning for my life" and has vowed never again to marry. Within the span of 45 minutes she has surrendered to the Bear who has come to her door.
Reading Chekhov's 'Ionych' really feels like it strikes something hard, his ability to find these feelings in words and put them in the "Russian pragma[tism]" is a just so.
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[ 3.3 ms ] story [ 14.3 ms ] thread"The crowd greedily reads confessions, memoirs, etc., because in its baseness it rejoices at the humiliation of the high, the weaknesses of the mighty. At the discovery of every vice it is in raptures: 'He is small like us, he is vile like us!' You lie, you scoundrels! He may be small and vile—but not like you—differently!"
[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1U42izMOjs
Also life is messy:
“You know how you’re always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it’s real difficult in life"
Woody Allen in Annie Hall
Alvy Singer: Boy, if life were only like this!
Also, communist-era science fiction in the accursed language reads much better than anything written in English in the same period (and beyond), if only for the fact that it doesn't suffer from the apocalyptic framing and general doom and gloom. Also, whoever posted the starfish here a few weeks ago, thanks, I wish I could unread it.
I'd argue that this is one of the better gifts life has given me, don't be too harsh on yourself.
(Hosting hundreds of WordPress sites at scale has its challenges).