Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

I got interested in rock climbing after seeing some climbers in action during a vacation trip to Wyoming. I've been climbing for three years now and I'm employed as a web developer, I've gotten to speak at a major technical conference (used to have hideous performance anxiety), and I'm contributing to open source projects. I'm also in the best shape I've been in my life. Good luck to you.

1. Set the bar low, and gradually raise it. Make your goal for tomorrow to work on a designated creative project for 30 minutes. If you can do it -- great. Set the same goal for the next day, or maybe a little more. Think of self-discipline training sort of like weight training. You can't suddenly, by dint of will, force yourself to bench press 600 pounds, let alone do a complete workout every day. Maybe your personal max right now is 30 minutes four times a week ... start with that and build from there.

2. [This is from the book Do It Tomorrow, which I recently read and enjoyed quite a bit.] Make your creative project your "current initiative," which means IT COMES FIRST. That might mean it's the first thing you do when you sit down at the computer after work (if you can't do it at work), or whatever ... but whatever you do, start working on it first, before getting bogged down in day-to-day stuff like answering email and reading HN :). As in (1), you don't need to set huge goals ...if you keep blasting away at something a little bit every morning, you'll start making some serious progress.

So set your alarm an hour earlier tomorrow and commit yourself to playing your guitar (or whatever) for an hour before starting your day. If you're tired and go to bed an hour earlier, so what, you were going to waste that hour watching TV anyway, get some sleep and get up early and do it again the next day. Then soon this will just be what you do and you'll wonder how it was ever any other way.

Also as Confucious said, if a man chases two chickens they will both get away.

A person who is interested in quantum mechanics is obviously not the right type to perform tedious IT tasks amidst corporate dullness.

Save a little money, then travel a while and take a book an quantum mechanics with you. The rest will follow. My changes were never complete but they worked.

Maybe it's not you that needs to change but how you fit in with the dominant early-bird culture.

My own experience suggests changing personal behavior, much less personality traits, is an uphill struggle that requires substantial effort. Gaius is right on the 30 days to make a habit theory...

You can't do that. You have to decide on one thing and concentrate. Make it your bitch. Practice it well for 20,000 hours. I can't stress this enough, you have to commit to one thing. If you can't do that, you'll continue to backpedal (and continue to feel unhappy, per your definition.)

You'll also need some sort of motivation. It might be a person you don't want to disappoint who is asking about your progress and who is there for you when you want to quit. It might be some internal drive for perfection... It doesn't matter what ''it'' is, but that thing has to exist and you have to be emotionally tied to it.

Of course, let me know if you can figure out how to find the one thing to focus on... I can't.

Structured Procrastination http://www.structuredprocrastination.com

The Cult of Done Manifesto http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-of-done-mani...

Merlin Mann on Doing Creative Work http://www.maximumfun.org/sound-young-america/maxfuncon-merl...

Beating The Little Hater http://www.podtech.net/home/4760/beating-the-little-hater

Ze Frank on Executing Ideas Vs "Brain Crack" http://lifehacker.com/5142776/ze-frank-on-executing-ideas-vs...

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%207:15;&#...;

So, in the case of trying to commit yourself to new goals, first decide on a goal. Then decide when you want to apply time to the goal. And then, most importantly, when you're not working on your goal, use mind control to not negatively think about the goal and the efforts involved to accomplish that goal.

Here's a dumb example, but it can be applied to many cases. Unloading the dishwasher. If, ahead of time, you think about the steps that you're going to have to take to unload the dishwasher, you won't do it. But if you use mind control, and don't think about the steps it's going to take to unload the dishwasher, but just think about the fact you need to unload the dishwasher, you will do it.

In other words, procrastinators over think things, to the point they overwhelm themselves. But you have to constantly use mind control, and understand that the more you use it, the easier it is to use.

I used to be a huge procrastinator, but using mind control, I've literally transformed myself into a person that can't stop working. I've been successful at this transformation for the last two years, so it's definitely working.

I have also found benefit working on my past with a personal coach (therapist, shrink, good friend - whatever works for you). A lot of my procrastination came from feeling guilty relaxing and doing casual things just for me - if I did that task right now I'd be able to relax, but because I felt guilty about that outcome I would drag out the task in front of me.

There were some other root causes I needed to work through, but in the last 3 months I've seen a massive turnaround in my personal energy and productivity. Results may vary, but I was ready to change and found dealing with past stuff helped me stick to the future goals and planning.

INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often rewarding enough just to stop there.

INTJs are supposed to have many of the same qualities of INTPs but tend to be more sure of themselves, and therefore, more productive (or more capable of delivering 'products' within 'deadlines'). They seem to live in the moment a bit more, and I would venture to guess that they make better entrepreneurs.

As an INTP, I feel I can relate to your situation. I too often wonder if my problem relates to a personality temperament, and truly can be changed. It really bothers me that I have little to show for all the work I do in my head, and this frustration has helped motivate me, but I still don't feel like I've been truly 'unlocked'.

To compound the problem, INTPs make up about 1% to 3% of the population, which means not many people can relate to the INTP mindset and are more likely just to call you a whiner without attempting to appreciate where you are strong, and why that strength makes you weaker in other areas.

Any INTPs out there who feel they've overcome their temperament's negative traits? How did you do it?

I'm about your age and I was a huge procrastinator and underachiever until only 2-3 years ago. Since then, mostly through "grit", I was able to acquire a job as a senior software engineer, despite having no degree, and not even owning a computer until I was 23.

I suspect you are like me in that you are much more interested in novelty and idea generation than in execution. I always had good ideas and did well on aptitude tests, but was seriously short on follow-through. I overcame my procrastination mainly following two principles:

1. Focus on one main project/goal at a time. Period. I know it sucks, but it's simply too easy to get distracted if you don't handcuff yourself. Every project has interesting parts and boring parts. If you have multiple projects, you end up thinking about the interesting part about some other project as soon as you get to a boring part of the first.

Figure that you'll do everything you want to do serially instead of in parallel. This makes it all the clearer how little time there is in life to do everything you want to do, and the realization is painful, but that's too bad. You aren't actually getting more done just because you've got multiple projects going on at the same time. In fact, for some (most?) of us, you're getting less done.

When you don't try to do anything seriously, it seems like you can do everything. It will be demoralizing to see how slow progress is when you're focusing on only one project. It's still worth it in the end, and you'll finally get a better understanding of the actual scope of your capabilities. This will allow you to make better decisions about time expenditure going forward.

Make the one thing you focus on have a definite end point. A goal. It can't be "get better at the piano". It has to be, "give a live performance".

Maybe some people can have multiple concurrent goals/projects. You can't. The sooner you face up to this, the better off you'll be. You'll feel like you're cutting off the boundless possibilities open to you. You ARE. That's life.

2. Do the boring parts. If you can learn to take pride in doing the boring parts, you will be formidable. A lot of idea people/dreamers never figure this out. Ideas are so damned fun to think about.

Count your blessings. In my opinion, it's easier to learn to do the boring parts than it is to become creative.

The advantage of focusing on one goal/project is that there's nowhere to hide when you get to the boring parts. If you want to finish, you have to do them. Your mind can't casually escape into thinking about the interesting part of another problem because there is no other problem. This is huge because the problem of avoiding boring parts is abstract, often gradual. It sneaks up on you. You've got to constantly be on guard for avoiding the boring parts of the project.

These days, I always know what my project is, and I can state it succinctly in one sentence. I keep it in my mind at all times so I know exactly where I'm going. In addition to the original inspiration, I take pride in powering through the dull intermediate steps of a project that most everyone else fall down on.

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -Frank Tibolt

I've found the best motivator is always pain. I was sloppy at cleaning my teeth until I had some major dental pain and a ton of expensive dental surgery. Now I'm brushing and flossing all the time - guaranteed.

I used to be sloppy at dealing with e-mails. Now I try and get on the case right away as I found the pain and shame of dealing with irate people calling me up to be worse than just doing the e-mail.

So, pain, that's my recommendation. It's also something Tony Robbins tends to go on about. Find pains associated with undesired behaviors and realize them. Find pleasures associated with desired behaviors and realize them. The rest follows automatically.

I started digging into Rails and writing my first project with it while working on my dayjob. At this time I was still taking bass guitar classes and spending my last year at the university. Having all this things at once did not allow me to work on each one of them long and hard enough. Which led to procrastination. Which led to general unhappiness.

Then I decided to eliminate the less important things one by one. I quit the bass guitar lessons, then graduated from the university, then quit my job. Finally, I only had my Rails project on my mind. One thing. I became extremely productive and felt happier. Of course, later I had to look for another job (which I also quit), but I knew this was going to be temporary and I'm working on my new project again now.

I'm actually 23 and I imagine things are a bit different for a 30 y.o., probably with a family and responsibilities. But it seems to me that the real reason for procrastination is not being a lazy jackass. In fact, lazyjackiness is a reaction for trying to do too much things at a time and not thinking about the real priority, which is going to make you happy both in the short and long run.

So my advice to you: find a way to concentrate on this one most important thing for now, by all means find this way.

As a procrastinator you'll never have the motivation to do something creative unless you force yourself to do it. I've wanted to be a writer since before I can remember, I was writing stories at 10 years old that were about as talented as a large bowel movement.

I'm now 21, I successfully procrastinated myself through highschool, college and into immigrating to another country. I'm forcibly unemployed (I don't want to jeopardise my immigration as I'm moving for QoL not money, UK->Canada) which gives me ample opportunity to procrastinate, but I quickly put an end to that.

I spent several months writing at every opportunity possible. When my wife naps, I'm on the computer writing. When I'm home alone, I'm writing. When I'm on the train I'm thinking through the next few paragraphs, I'm having arguments between characters in my head.

My advice for doing something creative, you've got to devote every free second you have to the task. Any work breaks, especially lunch breaks, the daily commute (either read a book on the train/bus or listen to an audiobook if you drive) . . . when you've done what you planned then you can procrastenate.

I've done my quota for the day, that's why I'm wasting time on HN and not working. I've always been lazy and I've never let it stop me from doing something I wanted to do.

It's entirely your choice if you do something creative or not, but to change who you are you've got to live the new life before it'll become you.

Best wishes!

1. One of the most important skills for success is the ability to distract yourself from immediate desires.

Delaying gratification, by looking away, thinking about something else is THE skill behind "self-control."

2. Expertise is developed in a very stable pattern of external motivation, mentoring, and consistent deliberate practice.

That means 1. Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do 2. Find someone to TEACH you how to do what you want to do and 3. Spend 30 mins a day rising to 2 hours a day over the course of a year or two on the target of your expertise. (Spending more time on the things you suck at than the easy bits) 10k hours later you'll be an expert.

Sources provided if needed!

The part that works against you is the "reactive mind". This is a term and concept from Dianetics.

I used to have big mood swings, to the point where life was starting to get unlivable, and I was extremely unhappy and study of Dianetics and Scientology and doing some Dianetics auditing with a programmer friend of mine evened that out considerably.

You can check it out at http://www.dianetics.org/ or just go into your local Church of Scientology and do a couple of intro courses and see if it helps you.

The point is to reduce your reactive mind and render it less powerful and to increase your own native power and ability.