The title of this thread and your post almost replicated the lyrics to Counting Crows' song, All My Friends (which is one of my favorite songs). Oh, HN.
To quote the famous (unfortunately hoax) Vonnegut speech:
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
HOW soon hath time, the subtle thief of youth,
Stolen on his wing my three and twentieth year!
My hasting days fly on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossom sheweth.
Perhaps my semblance might deceive the truth,
That I to manhood am arrived so near,
And inward ripeness doth much less appear
That some more timely happy spirits indueth.
Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow,
It shall be still in strictest measure even
To that same lot however mean or high,
Toward which time leads me and the will of heaven.
All is, if I have grace to use it so,
As ever in my great taskmaster's eye.
A 23 year old in the 17th century would expect to live nearly as long as a 23 year old today- the depressed life expectancy statistics are largely due to the fact that 3 out of 4 children died before they hit the age of five.
What you say about life expectancy at birth is true, but it's also true that people who made it to adulthood didn't live nearly as long. I'd guess the average life expectancy of a 23 year old in 17th century England was under 60.
So the average 20 year old in 1850 could expect to live an additional 40 years, to roughly age 60. The curve started flattening after WW1 and continued doing so until around the 70s and 80s.
Sorry, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
But obviously the quote's saying that if you're handed everything it means nothing. But if you lose it and have to fight to regain it, you learn its true value.
Well, it's a biblical reference. 'Roast the fatted calf when the prodigal son returns.' At least, that's what Ringo and Weber's "We Few" claims... ah, I love me my MilSciFic :)
There's a crisis brewing every quarter year of your life, if you let them be your crisis.
There are some crisis that need intervention and help but whatever happened to a simple kick on the butt to move ahead and go do something useful?
This guy writes a weekly-ish advice column for Salon. I'm not usually an advice column reader (nor a salon one), but the dude has a way with words and interesting perspective (ex-rocker alcoholic turned writer recovering addict)
What good are video games? Since I also always wanted to create them (and still haven't created a great one, just small ones): for me I think they are part of a greater quest against loneliness. Sure, creating a vaccine would be nice, but loneliness is also a killer (I don't have numbers, but it is not only suicides - also older people who just die when their spouses die and so on). Maybe they are not for everyone, but games were important for me in certain stages of my life - they helped provide save havens in times of emotional turmoil, they helped to get together and connect with people, and so on.
Maybe games are not the best cure against loneliness, or the only one. Maybe I should have just become a therapist. On the other hand, maybe one day my game will help some other scientist over a depression and enable him to finish working on that vaccine.
I don't subscribe to the notion that only vaccines are "really important" - even stupid things like fashion play a part in the bigger picture. Ultimately, one has to ask what are we living for. Sure, somebody has to create those vaccines to enable us to live on, but working on the question on what to live for matters, too - otherwise, why not just die.
Video games fill the role that any art does. They help us find ourselves and fill us with a static strength that we can't get from people, who are constantly changing as fast as we are.
I've actually always had the opposite reaction as that teacher in the article. I've never felt interested in science or technological process. It fascinates me, but I shudder at the thought of spending my life dedicated to it. I want messier things to spend my life achieving. But then, I also identify a lot with the person that wrote this, though I don't feel as beaten as he does, so this might not be a particularly unique perspective on the matter.
I think the real question is who is someone to suggest that X is more "worthy" than Y? Without the benefit of hindsight and ability to see all the possibilities with and without X and Y there is no evidence behind the statement.
Agreed but someone who "recognizes" themselves as brilliant is someone who is thinking of their brilliance as something defining and unique - ie, they are exactly the people who don't understand the potential in everyone.
I'd further mention that many people unconsciously choose to not be brilliant because this allows them to fit in.
Totally agree. Being academically successful is one thing while leading the life you want is another. Most average people figure out how they fit in our social order ok. I think the appropriate quip would be "Welcome to the real world, now get off my lawn!" Move on, nothing new here.
He's got a step on me. I was academically unsuccessful and thought I was brilliant. But the truth is whether you are brilliant or not is meaningless. Only how hard you try really matters.
I'll agree. Many labels are worthless used in reference to one's self. "Brilliant" and "Hacker" among the big ones. They don't really mean anything until someone else recognizes it in you. IMHO, it takes a genuine hacker (acknowledged as such by peers) calling someone else a hacker to make it count. I would say the same applies to "brilliant."
While it might do wonders for one's self-esteem, being called "brilliant" by high school teachers doesn't impress me much. In contrast: If Brian Eno says someone is brilliant, I am quite likely to take his word for it.
So wait, how does that work with the first "hacker" then. Does it mean it tails out. I mean the first "hacker" had to term himself a hacker, but by that logic only a "hacker" can be deemed a "hacker" by another true "hacker".
Thusly every current "hacker" isn't a hacker then. <head-implode>AAHHHH</head-implode>
I simply said that the title carries more weight if it's used by someone that's already considered to be in the crowd. There's obviously a kind-of non-pejorative definition of the word "hacker" as well, which can be used to generally define hackers as those who constantly seek to understand intimate details of a given system. That's easy to see from outside the sphere. To truly judge how well one understands a system, though, the judge must understand it at least as well as the person being judged. This is why it means more to be called "brilliant" or "hacker" by someone who is themself brilliant, or someone who is a hacker.
The advice given is probably worthless. The student obviously has issues with authority, his goals being dependent on the validation of others etc yet that isn't even discussed. It's basically a generic "feeling lost is good for a while" answer, which every smart 20-year old should be able to give himself.
Given society's strict schedule for youth, the timing of getting lost is key. Around college graduation time is a great time to get lost. Your drive has carried you through 17 years of education and you are free to find yourself at that point. Getting lost in junior high, like I did, is just bad timing. High School and college become a holding pattern in which you get lazier and lazier. Luckily it doesn't last forever.
Stop downvoting him. Sublimated sex drive is an incredibly powerful force, and drives thousands of people to take up positions in society (doctor, lawyer, programmer) instead of wandering the earth, content with food and drink.
Is sexual sublimation considered a valid psychological concept these days? Isn't this part of Freud's theories and isn't most of that considered defunct?
Paul Erdős never married or had kids; that biological fact alone is thought to account for his prolific mathematical output (and why we have an Erdős number).
You're being defensive. All he said was that Erdös had high output and it was postulated to be related to his lack of family life. Nobody here is making value judgments about a prescribed good life.
Sounds like typical depression setting in, something he's probably unaware that he's been fighting for years. Sometimes your problems aren't new and unique (no matter how 'brilliant' you are), and it can benefit you to reach out to people whom you may not think can help you at first.
Is that really depression? I think that what a lot of us confuse for depression is really contentment. This guy is happy to live his life as it is, but for the worry that he ought to have a drive.
The question is where worry comes from. Sometimes there's an external force contributing to worry, like having to pay rent or living in an apartment with a rabid bulldog. Other times, the worry comes from something inside, like wondering why you don't go out as much as other people or why your house isn't bigger. The internal worries are ones you can fight without necessarily changing your life, because they're fictions in some way.
In this case, he's been told that he isn't happy unless he's feeling a certain way, and now that he's not feeling that certain way, he decides he must be unhappy. The problem's circular.
Sounds more like existential thinking to me. I don't consider that directly related to depression. I have often felt the same way he does in not really knowing what to do with my life, wondering about the meaning of life, etc. I think that's just the human experience rather than depression.
There's a lot of research available now in education that says that positive reinforcement works, but not when it's talking about intelligence.
For example, students are much better off when you say, "you worked so hard on that project, it really shows that you cared about what you were doing" as opposed to "your project was great, you are so smart".
Children understand the difference between hard work and smarts (where smarts are natural ability and hard work is a virtue).
Later in life those students that were positively reinforced for working hard are better off than those that were simply told they were smart. Which is a nice reference to what it takes to be a startup founder (smarts are great, but only when paired with strong work ethic. However a strong work ethic and tenacity could overcome a natural gap in ability).
Cary should have saved his time and just said "join the navy". I'm not advocating military service. But if this student doesn't want to stay where he is, doesn't know what he wants to do and doesn't have the means to relocate, it's probably the most stable situation to let him think about his/her own future.
Just saying...
3 years on a boat or sub and he'll know EXACTLY what he wants to do (and will have a lot more means to act upon it).
The disaster of that plan is you may very well figure it out 3 months in, and then have a multi-year effectively prison sentence to serve out.
I have deep respect for those who do serve. I just don't think that recommending it as some kind of default "until you figure it out" is remotely a good idea.
But when it really comes down to it, isn't almost anything a good thing to do "until you figure it out?"
The lessons we learn are to be found everywhere. Hindsight makes me laugh at how so many of my "lessons" were around me at all times, in even the most mundane things!
I keep forgetting that for me, it's all about the journey, not the destination.
I'd say it's much better to do things you can get out of "until you figure it out", because figuring it out often requires going down many blind alleys, and it's nice to be able to turn around and go back if you don't like one.
If I had to give advice to struggling young college grads who don't yet know what they want to do with their life, it'd be take a job. Any job, though you should preference ones that will expose you to new ideas and talented people. Go as far as you can with it, then if it's not working out, take another job. Repeat until you have a fair picture of what the working world is like, then start a company. It'll fail (first startups always do), but by then you should have a good idea of what you really want to do, so you can take the job that will most help you achieve that, and start another company a few years down the road.
Unfortunately, most directionless people either go to grad school or join the military, which are about the two worst things you can do. Because both are fairly hard to get out of, and if you find out 3 months in that it's not what you really want, the time spent in them is basically a big sunk cost.
What about the lesson learned from commitment? That promises that have strings attached are important enough to require longer than normal consideration?
Although it could very well be considered a school of hard knocks, learning about x Year commitments at a younger age may help tremendously for same or larger commitments later in life (starting companies, buying a house, committing to a relationship, etc.).
If I choose something I know I can get out of fairly easily, I may not give it enough time to see it work, because I have an easy out.
(Insert reference to military leaders who have cut off their own forces' abilities to retreat here).
I think the lesson learned from commitment is very important, but I'm not sure that many 22-year-olds are in a position to learn that lesson.
The most valuable lesson I learned in college was in sticking it out and getting my degree even after it became apparent that I'd royally screwed things up and the administration was not going to let me graduate. However, had that lesson come a semester earlier, I would've said "To hell with it" and dropped out, 3.5 years and $100K sunk cost be damned. In fact, I did have a chance to learn that lesson 2 years prior, the first time I failed a physics course and considered dropping the major (and dropping out), and obviously didn't then.
For every person who emerges with their military service or Ph.D saying "It made me a stronger person," there're a bunch more that say "The government fucked me over" or "My liberal arts education made me utterly unemployable" or "I guess I'm just not cut out to be a researcher." You just don't hear about them, or when you do, you say "It's their own damn fault for not following through."
The same goes for military leaders who cut off their own forces' ability to retreat. You hear about the ones where glorious victories were achieved against all odds. You don't hear about the ones where the forces were slaughtered down to a man for nothing. (Or occasionally you do, and point and laugh at their arrogance, eg. Custer's Last Stand.)
Strongly disagree. Most of the services, especially if you're a "catch" for them will go a long way to let you explore your interests on behalf of the country, whether that's a PhD program in an area with national defense implications (most of them) or testing new equipment. A "prison sentence" gives a great disservice to those who are adrift and choose to serve.
(Needless to say, the financial/educational benefits due to the updated GI bill are also quite attractive)
I honestly thought this was terrible advice. The problem this kid has is everyone has praised him seemingly since birth and so he thinks everything is simple. The mere fact that one teacher saying his dream was silly could throw his life into chaos shows he's underprepared for the world.
In fact, the only reason he seems to feel lost is because he doesn't stick with anything beyond the initial thrill.
Rather than narcissisticly wandering the world and becoming even further ingrained in this "do what's easy" philosophy I say jump into the real world. Join a startup and realize the joy of working against insurmoutable odds. Where not only do people call your dream silly but a lot of them won't even meet with you to hear you out.
Then he'll get enough backbone to pursue his own dreams
Why not do what's easy? It's a lot more fun, and as you do it you learn. Never assume that just because you're drifting through life you're not growing as a person. I find that I learn and progress just as much in my idle states in life as I do at those critical moments that throw everything in relief.
I also think it's very, very bad advice to tell somebody to follow a dream that they don't entirely understand. I've had both: Dreams where I only vaguely felt I wanted something, and dreams I couldn't help but pursue because I understood them so completely. The latter dream is valuable and absolutely worth pursuing. The former dream isn't really a dream at all, and pushing too hard at it will only make you feel that maybe dreams aren't worth following after all. Following the wrong kind of dream will burn you out in the worst way.
The good stuff - the learning that, I think, matters and helps you actually grow - happens when you get past the easy beginnings and push into the hard stuff.
I disagree. While sometimes you might not be willing to get into the good stuff, other times you're absolutely in that mood and get into it without breaking a sweat. I see nothing wrong in going with the flow most of the time.
For the last while, I've been going at things at my own pace. I try, hard as possible, not to let myself get into anything I don't want to do. The result, I find, is that while I'm not as überproductive as I was last year, when I was in a bad place and trying hard to get out, I still generate a lot of work without seeming to have to make an effort. What's more, I'm growing in a lot of ways at once because I don't have the slight resentment against the work I used to force myself to do.
I find as I look at great works of art, regardless of the genre, that with the greatest masterpieces there comes a sense of relaxation. The people who made them weren't obsessing over them any more than they wanted to. They'd just taken themselves down a path in which what they were making was exactly what they wanted to make, and they made it. I find the same thing about Internet startups, actually: My favorite start-ups tend to defy a lot of the conventional rules, work at a relaxed pace, and then explode and grow huge.
I guess I only start to think of work as work once I don't want to do it. Right now I'm messing with theme design, for instance, and if I'm lucky what I'm building will be used by hundreds if not thousands of people, but I'm doing it for fun so I'm not counting it as work. On the other hand, spending ten minutes to write a paper is excruciating labor.
I disagree that there's a specific reason for his feeling lost; this is probably due to still feeling some of that myself (I'm nearly 25), though.
That said, I joined a startup as his age. Younger, actually - I was 18. It was a good experience in that I learned a great deal of technical knowledge very quickly and it laid the path for the career that I've formed since then, but it's not a remedy for a spiritual problem.
I'll qualify my experience to say that the first startup I worked at was not a good company; our president was arguably a snake-oil salesman in a lot of ways, and myself/the other engineers often worked 'deathmarches' leading to a moment where I was literally told during a doctor's appointment that I would have a heart attack before I could legally drink if I didn't find a new job.
I don't regret the job, overall; I learned a lot professionally and personally, and the next startup was far more successful. I do regret not wandering a little more, though, and he should take this opportunity.
The majority of startups also don't stick with anything beyond the initial thrill. That's something you have to learn for yourself: no external organization is going to hand it to you.
When I started actually completing projects (and I was older than this guy is), it was largely because I'd tried a bunch of things in superficial depth and found that they weren't all that satisfying. I bounced from a physics major to philosophy to sociology back to physics and finally ended up with a CS degree. I tried out orchestra and guitar and bass and taiko and sailing and fanfiction and sci-fi/fantasy and programming as hobbies. I "learned" dozens of programming languages by website & academic paper before actually settling down to write some code. I needed that experience to figure out for myself what I really considered important and was willing to put the time into learning well.
ha, myself a physics to economics to cognitive science major early in college, now settling in on Computer Science to sit down, gear down, and actually MAKE some stuff.
In the short term, it's a financial drain to spend extra time during your college years to try everything that interests you. But in the long run... WHO CARES. Better to spend a couple years finding yourself in your early 20s than having a mid-life crisis when you're 40.
I hate to tell you this but ... most people do both :) Don't think of them as crises, though, because they're not - they're just what it feels like to outgrow your life. The more often it happens, the more you're growing, so take heart in that.
He doesn't sound all that brilliant to me. Anyone who gives up just because someone tells them that their ambition is worthless is certainly not a true visionary. People who really are brilliant are usually knocked back many times before they have their first success.
An interesting argument, but one with which I don't agree. To give up on something because someone else says its undoable is certainly un-brilliant; but I can understand being demotivated by someone's argument that your goal is worthless.
Recall that the guy is in South America, where many millions of people still live in the most grinding poverty; I can understand why a teacher would argue that since videogames are toys for rich kids, it's self-indulgent to devote oneself to such a thing when only a day's journey from the university (or maybe less) there are people with no clean water, access to medicine, etc. Now, I actually think a South American videogame compny would be a fine thing in the bigger context: it would create jobs, diversify the economy, could lead to new educational tools and so on. Videogames certainly stimulated my interest in computers and technology and still do. But while he may be brilliant enough to become a fine game programmer/designer/businessman, I can't blame him for being socially and economically immature enough that he's not able to see how it all fits together.
so my answer would be 'you love video games? Then make some, the world needs better games, because games can be powerful learning tools'.
I think his advice is: find facts. You can't make decisions without facts - at least, not well-informed ones. Facts about the world and facts about you. Facts that aren't written anywhere. Things you can only learn by experiencing them. Know thyself.
The 'I want to make video games' for a living is like hearing a teen girl enthusiastically brag about having great style sense and wanting to be a fashion designer or a poet because the things she writes are 'deep'(depressed with loaded words). These statements are so common it can feel disgusting. The counterstrike neckbeards of my generation would always go into CS half assed, learn java and usually not do it as a hobby. The new WOW generation are doing the same thing now. If someone wants to be a game programmer I think it's better to have a passion for programming and math first rather than a passion of games. As far as programming the internet is a better resource than any school could be. As far as game companies hiring people I think there's a better chance in getting a job if you're really great at art and creating environments. People have always been full of shit, but the only one you can blame for letting it affect you is you.
I'm younger than this guy was in the article. My next door neighbor just went off to college to become a fashion designer. A handful of my friends became poets. A few friends of mine are forming a video game company.
I don't see the point in bashing somebody because they like something. Very often, those people that try something and turn out to be terrible find what they love in the process. Why insult them?
It's not insulting them, it's looking at them as if they're naive because they don't know half the other guys or girls also secretly want to be the some thing. I have yet to meet anyone that's become a poet as a career choice. It doesn't pay. Only a handful of those girls ever become fashion designers. It's like looking at a little kid saying I want to be a policeman, fireman or doctor. All the little kids at 5 years old seemed to pick one of the three. You give them encouragement with a smirk and always expect things to change. The professor has the right to his opinion and to give his personal recommendation when asked. A person who has the balls to tell you you're wrong when he/she really feels that way should be respected not demonized. This should not be an earth shattering visionary destroying event if he recommends the contrary to what you want based on experience. I think the author exaggerates and throws the blame outward way too much.
Well, I don't know the author, but from what he wrote I don't think there's too much blame-throwing going on. What I do know is that it's wrong to smirk at somebody who tells you what they want, or to flat-out tell them they're wrong without backing yourself up. Sure, you have a right to tell somebody their life is meaningless if they aren't saving lives, but it's a dick move to do so and all it does it hurt.
the hell are you talking about? It's fine to smirk at a kid he says something like I'm going to be an astronaut, cause it's cute. maybe you don't know what a smirk is. I used a different example for the professor, don't mix and match sentences to try and improve your point. People's advice is people's advice, if you want to hang them over the fire for it if they don't tell you what you want to hear then you're an idiot. If someone says, 'If I had your intelligence I would have became a doctor or tried to change the world', that's a compliment. The 'you should' in the statement of advice usually comes from the position of 'if I were in your shoes'.
A teenage girl bragging about her fashion sense or poetic style does not directly equate to the statement 'I want to make video games'. Unless, of course, you are implying that anyone who makes that statement has already tried and failed at creating successful video games and are now doomed and hopeless before they even hit the campus floor (as I am assuming that teenage girl is because, well...her poems suck).
I wanted to make video games. I went to a school specifically for that. I made it halfway through. The reality (to me, at least) was that the industry was just not worth it. The average lifespan of a game developer is 5 years...before total burnout ensues, and you are left entirely drained, hopefully with some bank though. But above all that, I decided to drop out because of a very simple and fundamental reason: It took all the mystery out of games...the X-factor, if you will.
This is not just refined to games of course...I feel that this happens all over the place, and the simplest answer as to why could just be that we as humans LOVE to learn. Just the prospect of learning some new language or about a new technology can spike a persons motivation to new heights, even if it is short-lived...we keep going.
It's like the people who audition for american idol. They secretly feel they can sing at the highest but only a handful of them are good at singing. If they knew there's a huge amount of people that think they're geniuses at singing and actually suck they'll more carefully re-evaluate themselves.
Turns out there's a huge amount of people that got CS majors just because they felt it fitting after spending half their life on the computer playing games. Programmers that don't have side projects and don't do it for fun will be way inferior to those who do.
Making games seems like a pretty decent sized side project to me. As a teen I did a number of game like things. Spent lots of time as a coder on a MUD and created a number of simple games. The majority of the people I knew well during that period are now programming successfully. Some of them are even making games for profit.
The problem is, I think, if you say "I want to make games"(or any other thing) but wouldn't spend your next few hours of free time actually starting something.
I'm 32. I still want to make videogames but I don't want to work for Shit-A. I want to hole up in a log cabin somewhere and code till my eyes ache. Like Jeff Minter. (I seem to recall a comment from John Carmack along similar lines when he wanted to try a rendering technique: something like "I did what I normally do. I locked myself in a hotel room for three days and coded it up.")
Oh well. Until I have that log cabin in the woods my day job involves robot submarines, which is as awesome as it sounds.
I wasn't being flip. His head is full of mush and delusions. He is unsatisfied with his academic success, girls, and hobbies because they do not cast him as some kind of mythic hero. He needs to get rid of that illusion. Throwing himself into the army or a startup company would just be feeding it. Once he stops doing things only to aggrandize his self-concept, he might find something he actually finds interesting or beautiful and from that will spring endless energy.
This happened to me (although I was not brilliant). My social awareness (or whatever you might want to call it) only developed when I started university, and it made me look at what I was studying with disgust. Having said that, I think the advice given by Salon sucks. There is no "finding yourself" this is bullshit, there is only "making yourself". You have to choose and you have to throw yourself after your choices, there is no way to think yourself into life.
I always liked this Baudrillard quote: "The modern ideal is to make your life what you want it to be. In reality, that is what you do when there's no other solution."
I hate to be pedantic, but I think "negatively correlated" would be more correct. Even though people know what you mean, it gives the phrase less meaning in case you meant to use the technical definition.
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[ 0.17 ms ] story [ 453 ms ] threadDon't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005140.html
So the average 20 year old in 1850 could expect to live an additional 40 years, to roughly age 60. The curve started flattening after WW1 and continued doing so until around the 70s and 80s.
Here's hoping for the hockey stick.
http://www.utexas.edu/depts/classics/documents/Life.html
I suspect there were significant differences in life expectancy between the 17th century and 1850.
Henry David Thoreau
I'd never seen that before, what a great quote.
But obviously the quote's saying that if you're handed everything it means nothing. But if you lose it and have to fight to regain it, you learn its true value.
(I used to wonder if "prodigal" was a biblical term; but it's just related to the word "prodigious". However, I don't know which came first.)
BTW - Folks who earned "it" in the first place know something about value too. There are identities other than the lost princess....
Maybe games are not the best cure against loneliness, or the only one. Maybe I should have just become a therapist. On the other hand, maybe one day my game will help some other scientist over a depression and enable him to finish working on that vaccine.
I don't subscribe to the notion that only vaccines are "really important" - even stupid things like fashion play a part in the bigger picture. Ultimately, one has to ask what are we living for. Sure, somebody has to create those vaccines to enable us to live on, but working on the question on what to live for matters, too - otherwise, why not just die.
I've actually always had the opposite reaction as that teacher in the article. I've never felt interested in science or technological process. It fascinates me, but I shudder at the thought of spending my life dedicated to it. I want messier things to spend my life achieving. But then, I also identify a lot with the person that wrote this, though I don't feel as beaten as he does, so this might not be a particularly unique perspective on the matter.
I'd further mention that many people unconsciously choose to not be brilliant because this allows them to fit in.
While it might do wonders for one's self-esteem, being called "brilliant" by high school teachers doesn't impress me much. In contrast: If Brian Eno says someone is brilliant, I am quite likely to take his word for it.
Don't most people figure out the distinction in HS?
This whole thread is an endless font for quip abuse, mod me down quickly so I learn my lesson...
Whatever makes people happy eh? Not everyone needs to be an Einstein.
In this case, he's been told that he isn't happy unless he's feeling a certain way, and now that he's not feeling that certain way, he decides he must be unhappy. The problem's circular.
An interesting trend in those labeled remarkably intelligent is a tendency toward stymied feeling of self-worth.
For example, students are much better off when you say, "you worked so hard on that project, it really shows that you cared about what you were doing" as opposed to "your project was great, you are so smart".
Children understand the difference between hard work and smarts (where smarts are natural ability and hard work is a virtue).
Later in life those students that were positively reinforced for working hard are better off than those that were simply told they were smart. Which is a nice reference to what it takes to be a startup founder (smarts are great, but only when paired with strong work ethic. However a strong work ethic and tenacity could overcome a natural gap in ability).
Just saying...
3 years on a boat or sub and he'll know EXACTLY what he wants to do (and will have a lot more means to act upon it).
I have deep respect for those who do serve. I just don't think that recommending it as some kind of default "until you figure it out" is remotely a good idea.
The lessons we learn are to be found everywhere. Hindsight makes me laugh at how so many of my "lessons" were around me at all times, in even the most mundane things!
I keep forgetting that for me, it's all about the journey, not the destination.
If I had to give advice to struggling young college grads who don't yet know what they want to do with their life, it'd be take a job. Any job, though you should preference ones that will expose you to new ideas and talented people. Go as far as you can with it, then if it's not working out, take another job. Repeat until you have a fair picture of what the working world is like, then start a company. It'll fail (first startups always do), but by then you should have a good idea of what you really want to do, so you can take the job that will most help you achieve that, and start another company a few years down the road.
Unfortunately, most directionless people either go to grad school or join the military, which are about the two worst things you can do. Because both are fairly hard to get out of, and if you find out 3 months in that it's not what you really want, the time spent in them is basically a big sunk cost.
Although it could very well be considered a school of hard knocks, learning about x Year commitments at a younger age may help tremendously for same or larger commitments later in life (starting companies, buying a house, committing to a relationship, etc.).
If I choose something I know I can get out of fairly easily, I may not give it enough time to see it work, because I have an easy out.
(Insert reference to military leaders who have cut off their own forces' abilities to retreat here).
The most valuable lesson I learned in college was in sticking it out and getting my degree even after it became apparent that I'd royally screwed things up and the administration was not going to let me graduate. However, had that lesson come a semester earlier, I would've said "To hell with it" and dropped out, 3.5 years and $100K sunk cost be damned. In fact, I did have a chance to learn that lesson 2 years prior, the first time I failed a physics course and considered dropping the major (and dropping out), and obviously didn't then.
For every person who emerges with their military service or Ph.D saying "It made me a stronger person," there're a bunch more that say "The government fucked me over" or "My liberal arts education made me utterly unemployable" or "I guess I'm just not cut out to be a researcher." You just don't hear about them, or when you do, you say "It's their own damn fault for not following through."
The same goes for military leaders who cut off their own forces' ability to retreat. You hear about the ones where glorious victories were achieved against all odds. You don't hear about the ones where the forces were slaughtered down to a man for nothing. (Or occasionally you do, and point and laugh at their arrogance, eg. Custer's Last Stand.)
In this case, no. Almost anything that doesn't have a predetermined length of service is a good thing t do "until you figure it out."
(Needless to say, the financial/educational benefits due to the updated GI bill are also quite attractive)
I think it is more likely that after three years he'll know exactly what he doesn't want to do.
In fact, the only reason he seems to feel lost is because he doesn't stick with anything beyond the initial thrill.
Rather than narcissisticly wandering the world and becoming even further ingrained in this "do what's easy" philosophy I say jump into the real world. Join a startup and realize the joy of working against insurmoutable odds. Where not only do people call your dream silly but a lot of them won't even meet with you to hear you out.
Then he'll get enough backbone to pursue his own dreams
I also think it's very, very bad advice to tell somebody to follow a dream that they don't entirely understand. I've had both: Dreams where I only vaguely felt I wanted something, and dreams I couldn't help but pursue because I understood them so completely. The latter dream is valuable and absolutely worth pursuing. The former dream isn't really a dream at all, and pushing too hard at it will only make you feel that maybe dreams aren't worth following after all. Following the wrong kind of dream will burn you out in the worst way.
For the last while, I've been going at things at my own pace. I try, hard as possible, not to let myself get into anything I don't want to do. The result, I find, is that while I'm not as überproductive as I was last year, when I was in a bad place and trying hard to get out, I still generate a lot of work without seeming to have to make an effort. What's more, I'm growing in a lot of ways at once because I don't have the slight resentment against the work I used to force myself to do.
I find as I look at great works of art, regardless of the genre, that with the greatest masterpieces there comes a sense of relaxation. The people who made them weren't obsessing over them any more than they wanted to. They'd just taken themselves down a path in which what they were making was exactly what they wanted to make, and they made it. I find the same thing about Internet startups, actually: My favorite start-ups tend to defy a lot of the conventional rules, work at a relaxed pace, and then explode and grow huge.
I guess I only start to think of work as work once I don't want to do it. Right now I'm messing with theme design, for instance, and if I'm lucky what I'm building will be used by hundreds if not thousands of people, but I'm doing it for fun so I'm not counting it as work. On the other hand, spending ten minutes to write a paper is excruciating labor.
That said, I joined a startup as his age. Younger, actually - I was 18. It was a good experience in that I learned a great deal of technical knowledge very quickly and it laid the path for the career that I've formed since then, but it's not a remedy for a spiritual problem.
I'll qualify my experience to say that the first startup I worked at was not a good company; our president was arguably a snake-oil salesman in a lot of ways, and myself/the other engineers often worked 'deathmarches' leading to a moment where I was literally told during a doctor's appointment that I would have a heart attack before I could legally drink if I didn't find a new job.
I don't regret the job, overall; I learned a lot professionally and personally, and the next startup was far more successful. I do regret not wandering a little more, though, and he should take this opportunity.
When I started actually completing projects (and I was older than this guy is), it was largely because I'd tried a bunch of things in superficial depth and found that they weren't all that satisfying. I bounced from a physics major to philosophy to sociology back to physics and finally ended up with a CS degree. I tried out orchestra and guitar and bass and taiko and sailing and fanfiction and sci-fi/fantasy and programming as hobbies. I "learned" dozens of programming languages by website & academic paper before actually settling down to write some code. I needed that experience to figure out for myself what I really considered important and was willing to put the time into learning well.
In the short term, it's a financial drain to spend extra time during your college years to try everything that interests you. But in the long run... WHO CARES. Better to spend a couple years finding yourself in your early 20s than having a mid-life crisis when you're 40.
Recall that the guy is in South America, where many millions of people still live in the most grinding poverty; I can understand why a teacher would argue that since videogames are toys for rich kids, it's self-indulgent to devote oneself to such a thing when only a day's journey from the university (or maybe less) there are people with no clean water, access to medicine, etc. Now, I actually think a South American videogame compny would be a fine thing in the bigger context: it would create jobs, diversify the economy, could lead to new educational tools and so on. Videogames certainly stimulated my interest in computers and technology and still do. But while he may be brilliant enough to become a fine game programmer/designer/businessman, I can't blame him for being socially and economically immature enough that he's not able to see how it all fits together.
so my answer would be 'you love video games? Then make some, the world needs better games, because games can be powerful learning tools'.
I don't see the point in bashing somebody because they like something. Very often, those people that try something and turn out to be terrible find what they love in the process. Why insult them?
A teenage girl bragging about her fashion sense or poetic style does not directly equate to the statement 'I want to make video games'. Unless, of course, you are implying that anyone who makes that statement has already tried and failed at creating successful video games and are now doomed and hopeless before they even hit the campus floor (as I am assuming that teenage girl is because, well...her poems suck).
I wanted to make video games. I went to a school specifically for that. I made it halfway through. The reality (to me, at least) was that the industry was just not worth it. The average lifespan of a game developer is 5 years...before total burnout ensues, and you are left entirely drained, hopefully with some bank though. But above all that, I decided to drop out because of a very simple and fundamental reason: It took all the mystery out of games...the X-factor, if you will.
This is not just refined to games of course...I feel that this happens all over the place, and the simplest answer as to why could just be that we as humans LOVE to learn. Just the prospect of learning some new language or about a new technology can spike a persons motivation to new heights, even if it is short-lived...we keep going.
The problem is, I think, if you say "I want to make games"(or any other thing) but wouldn't spend your next few hours of free time actually starting something.
Oh well. Until I have that log cabin in the woods my day job involves robot submarines, which is as awesome as it sounds.
I always liked this Baudrillard quote: "The modern ideal is to make your life what you want it to be. In reality, that is what you do when there's no other solution."