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Here's my entry: "It's hard."
For Americans?
Do you think brazilians, argentinians, ..., mexicans are cognitively underqualified?
I don't know about math journals, but you could try getting that published as the world's shortest article in Playboy.
The paper doesn't make any sense without the title:

"Can n^2 + 1 unit equilateral triangles cover an equilateral triangle of side >n, say n+\epsilon?"

Yeah, leaving that out of the article makes the whole thing meaningless and pretentious. Frankly I'm surprised at the restraint shown by the editors.
Yet the title is not the authors'. Soifer [explains](http://www.wfnmc.org/mc20101.pdf):

>John Conway and I accepted the “filler”, and in the January 2005 issue our paper [12] was published. The Monthly, however, invented the title without any consultation with the authors, and added our title to the body of the article! (p. 31, my emphasis)

The above is the authors’ title. The editors invented a new title, and moved the authors’ title into the body of the article.
Of course. "Our" title. Thanks, I stand corrected.
Ha, so the paper is breaking the "Betteridge's law of headlines" :)
Can someone explain Figure 2 from this paper? (If you didn't catch the link, it's inlined at http://www.wfnmc.org/mc20101.pdf .)

Figure 1 makes sense to me: it's (n-1)² unit equilateral triangles, plus a row at the bottom with (2n-1) + 2 equilateral triangles that causes coverage of a slightly larger triangle. (I assume the question posed is "for at least some tiny but nonzero ε".)

I don't know how to start interpreting figure 2. Where are the n²+2 triangles (or are they supposed to be there?)? What's the big empty space? Why 1 - ε, not 1 + ε?

I think the idea is that the lower n-1 rows each have height (n-1)ε (by spreading them out horizontally), and at the top there's a big triangle with side length 1+(n-1)ε
I still don't understand, what do you mean about lower rows having height (n-1)ε (by spreading them out horizontally)?
Definitely not surprised that the author is John Conway (and his coauthor). I took his course on Linear Algebra back in the day -- the man is a veritable real life troll (in a good way)
That's typical for mathematicians - even more so with extroverted ones. They approach rules as a game one can use at will as long as the rules remain true. Thus, playing pranks with rules can become enjoyable. Coincidentally, surprise is the quintessence of humour, some say.

The original meaning of the word "hacker" is related to this thinking. However, the focus is different. The hackers tend to achieve their goal in whatever "hacky" way possible while mathematicians see the rules itself as the game.

Maybe it should be 2002 words, if a picture is worth 1000 words.
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Now I can casually drop in conversation the fact that I have read 2 math articles this month.
Darn. I came here just to say that. Oh well, you beat me this time
I suppose the title of this submission is correct, but I would like to note that it's not "a new world record in the number of words in a paper". I believe that honour goes to:

Fiengo, Robert, and Howard Lasnik. 1972. “On Nonrecoverable Deletion in Syntax.” Linguistic Inquiry 3 (4): 528.

You can read the entire paper here: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmLQjz0CMAA-l28.jpg:large

I don't think this article should be considered a record-holder. It's effectively 1002 words long.
I was going to say the same thing. :)

Drawings and explanations go hand in hand.