Ask HN: How's your drinking problem?

57 points by onedev ↗ HN
This is inspired by the recent "How's your eyesight?" post where a commenter posted sarcastically that a better question would have been "How's your drinking problem?".

Now while the title may have been a little hyperbolic, I do think it's important for us to discuss the drinking culture we're always around.

How does drinking fit into your life? How has your body or your mind responded to increases or decreases in the frequency of drinking? Have you tried being aware of any of these things and if so what did you learn?

97 comments

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Every day at work I just try and endure the suffering, and every night at home I just try and endure the alcohol.
Wow I'm so sorry man, I really hope you pull through. Let me know if I can help in any way.
Gave it up five years ago - feel much better and my sleep is markedly improved.
I dislike how my company involves alcohol in a lot of our outings. I drink very rarely and it's annoying to have to continuously justify myself to my colleagues.
One immediate question is when and what constitutes a drinking problem? When is it too much. There are some medical classifications stating that one glass of wine per day constitutes alcoholism. Is that true, or does it make any sense?
I believe it constitutes a problem when your drinking affects your social, economic, or work life negatively.
Long story short my mother has an incredibly rare condition that causes her neural stem to be constantly telling her brain her face is in pain, all the time, every day, even though it's fine. She has been prescribed every kind of painkiller, including some of the strongest opiates one can acquire legally in America, and yet they don't affect the rare and hard to reach nerves, and are useless.

However, she does drink a few glasses of wine a day and having tried everything else, she is adamant that alcohol is the only acceptable painkiller for her to take for the rest of her life.

I mention this because I have roughly 1-3 drinks per night -what the doctor told my mother as "average for a Frenchman" - yet when I drink even a beer I lose all motivation to go to the gym that night or to cook a healthy and properly proportioned meal. So I think the way to define a drinking problem isn't in quantity, but by the opportunity cost of drinking or drinking too much on any given occasion.

There are no classifications saying one glass a day is alcoholism.

There is low risk drinking, increased risk drinking, and high risk drinking. Alongside that you have dependant and non-dependant drinking (an addiction to alcohol).

To get a medically supervised withdrawal from alcohol in England a person meeds to be drinking 40 units per day. That's a litre of vodka at 40% ABV every day.

Low risk drinking is one or two drinks a day, with some days drink free.

There is a guideline that is used when identifying most addictions [1] since most patterns of behavior tend to be similar regardless of substance or activity that the person is addicted to.

>Another way of describing addiction is the presence of the 4 C's:

>Craving

>Loss of Control of amount or frequency of use

>Compulsion to use

>Use despite Consequences.

[1]: https://www.porticonetwork.ca/web/fundamentals-addiction-too...

I drank a fair bit when younger (socially/rarely, but > 1/3 of the time when I did drink it was 5+ drinks).

Now, in my 40s, if I drink more than 1 maybe 2 beers, the next day I feel like a train hit me, and don't find nearly the same appeal as before.

I gave it up about 5 years ago. I say that, not to say that "I never drink" but I don't get drunk. Last night I had maybe 4oz of some wine after dinner, after not having drank any alcohol for about two months. It's not a regular part of my life anymore, it's very rare, and I don't drink to get drunk. So I don't have a problem with it.

What I dislike are the ads for alcohol. Nearly all of them start with the premise that you can't be cool unless you drink alcohol, or that because you drink you'll have lots of hot women nearby. Aside from the ads, its 'oh we have a lawyer show, lets make sure we have scene of them drinking scotch after a rough case' or a family show 'oh the dad came home lets show him going to his fridge and grabbing a beer' or a cop show 'he just shot someone, lets do a bar scene where he gets smashed'.

At the time of writing this comment, there is just one comment on this thread complaining about the amount of alcohol in company outings. That comment has been downvoted and is now marked [dead].

The question isn't about each individual's drinking problem. The question is about tech culture's drinking problem. And there's the answer: denial.

If you're talking about jbob2000, it's not that he was downvoted; it's that he's been hellbanned for the past 2 months.
Ah, thanks for pointing out my error. My point still stands, though with a little less rhetorical flourish.
> My point still stands, though

Seems to me this thread doesn't show denial at all. Most conclusions that people draw from particular threads are confirmation bias. That's especially true about the largely random initial state of a thread. Typically they soon fill up with comments contradicting the initial impression.

The topic of alcohol has appeared on HN many times, always generates active discussion, and never lacks for critical comments. If anything, anti-alcohol comments tend to dominate slightly.

Agree.

Personally, I don't drink that much. I've had maybe 4 beers in the last month.

And where exactly is the proof that there is some drinking problem in tech? Just people who refuse to drink anything at all and complaining when one a day is healthy? I think it's likely more of a religious problem, or anti-social problem, honestly. If you are too lazy to go drink one with your peers, then you will suffer less social success and poorer network, but I think you are being intentionally lazy, so you reap what you sow.
I have no issue with drinking, but the idea that I need to "go out" with my work peers is annoying. I already spend too much time at work for my liking. I don't want to add on top of it schmoozing time I'm not getting paid for. I recognize the reality of social promotion and I know I'm paying some networking fee for not attending such events, but I still don't want to go.

I resist the idea that not going is "lazy", however. "Lazy" is spending the work day reading Randall Munroe's "What if?" instead of working on the outstanding task list (I'll accept guilt on this one). Lazy should not be considered not attending extracurricular work activities.

Some people can't drink because of health reasons. By your logic, they should "suffer less social success and poorer network" and are probably "being intentionally lazy." That's not only illogical, it's downright cruel. Not to mention closed minded.
Wow. I am generally pro-alcohol, even occasionally at work in moderation. You are proof that some people have an unhealthy expectation around drinking, though.

> If you are too lazy to go drink one with your peers, then you will suffer less social success and poorer network, but I think you are being intentionally lazy, so you reap what you sow.

You think that someone is lazy because they don't want to drink? This is nuts. Is someone who doesn't share donuts in the morning also lazy? How about someone who doesn't eat pork? Are they lazy?

If this is really your attitude, if you really expect that people should feel obligated to drink, then you have a drinking culture problem.

> The question is about tech culture's drinking problem.

Since when does tech even have a drinking culture, let alone a drinking problem? All the tech companies I've worked for have had a weekly happy hour where most people have a beer or two, and that's the extent of it. It's nothing like the sports world, where you have guys regularly downing 10 or 15 drinks on the bus or airplane. Or like the entertainment industry, where some of the top people in the field show up to work so shitfaced they can barely even stand up. Or like the mining industry in Siberia, where the nightly entertainment is/was sitting around with a bottle of vodka and some potatoes.

Last job interview I went to in SF, I was offered whiskey and felt extremely pressured to drink it, mostly because I wanted the job. I've only worked at one place (out of over a dozen or more) in SV/SF that didn't have alcohol on hand and didn't drink in the office. I don't care if people drink, but when you're pushing it onto your employees and former employees, it's a huge problem, and most companies in SV/SF are borderline in the pushy area. Simply offering a drink in a situation where the employer has exceptional power over an employee or potential employee (at work or in an interview for example) makes the employee feel like they need to drink to fit in and not get penalized by the company or the bosses.

I think most companies and employers don't think like that because they simply assume everyone likes to drink which is incredibly closed minded. I've known other people, other than myself, who do not drink or cannot drink (because of unrelated health reasons) feel pressured to drink at work. I'm sure someone will say that one can refuse. That is true. One can indeed refuse, but not without negative consequences. One cannot refuse and still keep one's status and place. The refusal will be questioned, as if the refusal is the unnatural position, not the offer. I'm sure it's even more hellish for addicts who have to work at these places, but at least, they're quite used to unfair social stigma.

Same with being vegetarian/vegan. The amount of jokes ("ah,rabbit food" pointing to the salad) gets old and annoying fast. I never understood why people can't just concentrate on their own food/drinks instead of others.
I find that people always want to know why you're a vegetarian. Honestly, for me, there are a ton of reasons and many of them are not quite dinner table conversations, especially when meat-eaters are involved as it grosses them out.
Once with a good friend, when she said "rabbit food", I said "dead body" pointing to her chicken. That was childish of me and she obviously didn't like it. So it is possible to make fun and even annoy meat eaters, but it would only end up straining the friendship (or whatever relationship) and nothing will come out of it. The best thing to do is to just smile and keep eating.
What is "tech culture"? I work at a startup and I drink, like, one beer every two weeks - actually, I almost exclusively drink tap water and skim milk.

I don't really do "company outings" or hang around though. I'd rather see my girlfriend (who doesn't drink). Maybe the problem is having your friend base being based around "work" instead of around a healthy shared interest, like cycling, a rock climbing gym, soccer, etc.?

Ha, that was me that asked the snarky "Drinking Problem" question.

Honestly, I feel great if I don't drink. I sleep better, wake up early, exercise and feel energized and focused in the morning and throughout the day.

If I have a couple drinks at night (couple glasses of wine or 2-3 gin-and-tonics), I sleep with more restlessness, sometimes sleep late, and feel a slight difference in the morning (less focus and energy).

If I go bonkers and drink a bottle of red wine or 5+ cocktails...then I usually wake up later, usually sleep shitty, wake up with a foggy mind and sensitive stomach. Writing and debugging code in this state is a bitch.

I wear a fitbit that monitors my heart rate and measures restlessness during the night. I definitely notice increased restlessness AND about 10-15 beats per minute higher heart rate during the night after even just a few drinks.

So then after a day or two and at night, I think "hmmm a drink sounds nice"...

(comment deleted)
Would that be a coffee-drinking culture? I think it is a horrible culture and only serves to prop up large corporations that solely exist to evade tax and get money by providing you your daily fix of caffeine, fat, and sugar.
It's funny how tolerant and even encouraging I've found people to be around outright addiction to a substance. If it was anything other then caffeine than people would be shocked.

I do love my espresso though :)

It is a little strange but then people's shock is usually related to how harmful the substance can be.

My comment was mostly in jest because at the time of posting I don't think there was one mention of the word alcohol. Plus I thought programmers were more known for their coffee use rather than alcohol.

I will also add that I have no problem with caffeine, just coffee. Drink tea. Strong, black tea, with milk.

I drink regularly, but usually in small amounts -- less so since I recently had my first child. My wife and I often have a glass of wine with dinner (probably 75% of all nights), and on social occasions -- now rarer -- I'll drink considerably more and have four to maybe six drinks.

Getting drunk is fun. I'm in my late 30's, and I only very rarely get super super drunk like I did in my 20's (and I get hit with worse hangovers now if I do go all-out). But when the situation arises, getting past buzzed is enjoyable.

I used to really binge it in the weekends; woke up in strange place on Sunday mornings etc. My "startup" (more a traditional company actually) was doing 'ok', but I couldn't get it to go to 'awesome'.

2 years ago, I stopped drinking for a week because of some prescription drug. That week turned into a month, turned into 2 years this month.

I haven't had a single drop of alcohol and I have never felt better. Looking back at the last 2 years, it seems as if I have gained 2 days of productivity per week, I've become a little bit (not a lot) better at everything... sharper, smarter, pro-active etc. Just enough to give the company that extra boost, it seems. We have recently achieved "awesome" and we're not stopping.

I don't have one, but thank you very much for asking.
It's ok, you are among friends. Recognizing you have a problem is the first step towards recovery... :P
A drinking problem is one where drinking contributes to you not fulfilling your responsibilities. For instance, if your job performance decreases, you get into some kind of legal trouble, or you don't pay your bills.

I've used this measure to check my drinking habits.

There's such a thing as a "high-functioning alcoholic", you know: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_alcoholic
What does it mean to be an alcoholic in this case? That Wikipedia page doesn't give a definition, nor does the linked NIH press release.

The college alcohol study from Harvard lists criteria, but they are all generally things that have clear negative impact. i.e. alcohol-related school problems, legal, interersonal problems. These are things that fit the traditional definition of alcoholism, i.e., "your drinking is screwing up your life". The college alcohol study also makes no mention of "high-functioning alcoholism" in either the press release or abstract, so I don't see how it's relevant to the article at all except that someone thought it lended credence to the claims.

The "high-functioning alcoholic" categorization seems really fishy to me. Somehow a person is overachieving, has no negative effects from alcohol consumption, and yet is an alcoholic? On what grounds is that claim made? Because they drink more than someone else thinks they should?

Lifetime non-drinker here which I guess makes me even more aware of it at times. Many things are discussed "over drinks" and after a lifetime of ordering a "Diet Coke on the Rocks" I still get odd looks.
I once ordered a virgin rum & coke. Got a laugh from the bartender :)
Great! Have to remember that one :)
My new favorite is soda water with a splash of bitters. Gives you an effectively-nonalcoholic drink that's more interesting looking than pretty much anyone else's at the table.

It's also a great drink to have when you're out drinking, if you need to pace or hydrate yourself.

You might get a lot less in the way of odd looks by just ordering "Diet Coke"
If I'm not wrong, Phil Katz it's the most notorious case of programming + alcoholism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Katz#Alcoholism_and_death

Bonus: https://xkcd.com/323

Jeez, what a guy. When I'm found dead in a room, I hope I'm holding something more manly than peppermint schnapps.

"Somewhat influential halfwit logicrime found dead in hotel room, having drank himself to death. He was found on the floor with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. He probably won't be missed, good riddance."

I'm sorry you feel that you have to assert your status over a dead man with performative masculinity.
When did you stop beating your wife? Teetotaller here.
I had two beers Wednesday. A glass of wine Monday night. The week prior was a bit like the same. Some weeks it's "none", some weeks it's "more than seven times in seven days." I don't think that constitutes a problem. I've missed more dates because I was writing code and forgot the clock (twice in my lifetime) than I have due to intoxication (zero so far).
My problem is that I drink too little, sometimes, I guess I could have "optimized", by taking an evening/night off, and relaxed with a drink. Some "itchiness" in the morning, can be a good thing too, as I remember from school.
I run a tech meetup. We try to be hospitable, and that means providing food, drinks, and snacks. We provide beer, but I make a conscious effort to make other options as attractive (we probably go through more coconut water than beer). I think it's important to be able to have a social event in tech without alcohol as a centerpiece.
It annoys me to no end that alcohol is the primary psychoactive substance in use by the population. I don't think there's anything inherently immoral about consuming a drug to feel a certain way - to relax after work, or help cope with negative feelings. Drugs to achieve these ends are routinely prescribed.

Unfortunately it's often much easier to access alcohol than any of the many other psychoactive substances, either prescribed or currently illegal. In comparison, alcohol is both physically and psychologically far less effective and more dangerous. I do drink myself, but there are many other drugs out there that I would much prefer that don't have the same accessibility or culture as drinking does.

I've been substituting kratom for drinking in when the opportunity arises and I've found it to be terrific improvement - much more relaxing/pleasant with less cognitive impairment, addictiveness and physical side effects.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I drink, and I think it sucks, but only because in comparison alternative substances are so much better (ex marijuana for many people). Of course this assumes moderation, safety etc. etc.

> alcohol is the primary psychoactive substance in use by the population.

No, it's caffeine. In coffee, in soda, and tea.

Quit altogether for 2 months as a diet experiment, with 2 expectations: 1) it would be socially frictive 2) I would lose some weight. Both were wrong.

1) Quitting had basically no social consequences. The friction of ordering a non-alcoholic drink at a bar is gone by the third time. Only one person gave me shit about it, and they were a friend-of-a-friend and easy to disregard.

2) It had almost no weight-loss effect, in the absence of other diet and exercise improvements. Premise was "does this one thing have a strong effect on my weight?". Given that my previous intake was moderate (< 8 units/week), removing alcohol and leaving the rest of my diet intact resulted in < 3 lbs lost early on, but no ongoing results.

Have you stopped drinking altogether? Did you consider yourself someone with a 'problem' when you did your experiment? Did your findings change the ferocity with which you drink? Given that it was one of your original expectations of the experiment, do you think that social friction plays a major role when it comes to the frequency with which you drink?

I find the idea of that type of experiment fascinating, perhaps you documented it in more detail....?

I did for the 2 months, recently had a few and broke the streak. No kind of problem at all, although that's where everyone's mind goes when you say you quit cold turkey.

Findings didn't change that much, but the break itself changed the way I drink, I think. Previously it was somewhat of a social default to just go out with some friends over a beer in the absence of other events. Being conditioned not to do that, and instead stay in and have a quiet night at home has given some perspective. I felt like I got a slight time gain on the evenings, but nothing serious.

Friction previously played a role. Especially in my early valley days when I was an intern, or in college, or as a contractor (negotiation/business things are hugely greased by alcohol), but now that I'm full time at more quiet company where drinking isn't embedded in the culture, the social friction aspect is basically gone. It's a per-social-circle thing for sure.

Unfortunately I did no detailed documentation. The stuff I'd want to measure would require months of prep/control gathering (eg: how do I use my post-work time before and during experiment)

Most interesting part of the whole thing was how uninteresting it was. There's the idea that drinking is socially necessary and horrible for your health. The idea that it's so meaningless is a little weird.

Replacing alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic drinks shouldn't be expected to result in weight loss, unless you switched to water of course. The net amount of calories consumed probably didn't change that much.

And it's possible that the non-alcoholic drinks -- soda and juices -- actually have more calories.

FWIW sugar-free sodas paradoxically do not promote weight loss. I recall reading that they are beginning to understand why this is but I don't recall the details now.

It's only a problem when I get completely schway every few week and do something out of control like burn my friends lake house chairs that have been in the family for over 100 years.

I want to stop, problem is it's just so much damn fun.

I used to drink socially every weekend or so, and never to the point where I'd reach a drunken state. Nowadays, I rarely drink, and on those occasions it tends to be limited to 1 drink.
Gone. I quit drinking 10 years ago and everything has gotten 10x better. Sober enough to meet a great women and get married, in better shape, sleep is better, eating is better, work is better and my finances are better. I am at a point with not drinking that when I interview with a company, I ask about team outings and how much alcohol is involved and if it is too much, I pass on the job. My sobriety is so important to me that I won't work on a team that has a drinking culture.

Those of you who are on the fence about not drinking, quit drinking and see how much better you life can get.