> But I’m really not different at all. It’s salutary to remember that you are just a type of guy, as my friend Adam reminded me. I sing the praises of the non-consumer wilderness, but will still go to great pains to obtain a fancy croissant. To the longtime residents, I am instantly identifiable as a recent Angeleno, even if I’m wearing a dirty t-shirt and cut-off shorts. My hands are too soft, my body language is too awkward. Maybe if I live out here for like a decade it won’t be accurate to accuse me of LARPing anymore.
Not what I mean. The entire experience that it's a different place, that it inherently is different from the city.
The interiority of the individual does not change, although the external world may reflect into the interior differently and the individuals' mind may easily filter one way or another. You can be and have the same interior experience if you're in the middle of a city, or if you're on the top of a mountain.
it's just a place to live. one with better air and fewer people.
I was. The whole logical schema here is vanity - or, more literally from the Hebrew - a pursuit after wind, a momentary breath, a flicker of wind on the cheek...
The author's experience is that "same structure, new shapes" is the quality of the urban life. But that is also the quality of rural life, although the specific details differ; this is simply another shape in the same structure of life. Whether you're in the city, or the suburbs, or the emptiness of the mountain, you are who you are, people are who they are, there's no innate difference in the matter. The environment is strictly the environment.
This, too, is vanity.
To further quote the unnamed author -
> Only this, I have found, is a real good: that one should eat and drink and get pleasure with all the gains he makes under the sun, during the numbered days of life that God has given him; for that is his portion.
To be able to dwell in contentment where one is, is a real blessing.
> Nobody is trying to monetize this uniqueness with a YouTube channel or anything. They just exist that way.
To the contrary, people monetizing their unique lifestyles or skills in remote non urban places is a major thing on YouTube. Some are in the environs of Joshua Tree, no less.
Just dip your toes in the off-grid or permaculture lifestyle worlds and you'll find them.
I think the point of the statement is less "nobody out here is monetizing it on YouTube" and more "you'll meet all sorts of interesting people out here and most of them just live the way they live, no incentive required."
Sure you can go on YouTube and live vicariously through a young white dude with a cute girlfriend in a flat bill cap and Oakley sunglasses and a 100k RV shilling products at you and starting every video with "what is up guys hit the notification bell down below", and maybe you can imagine your life being more like that. Maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about gardening or cooling an aluminum box in the summer. But actually getting out there, you'll find a ton of people actually living interesting lives without a gopro on a selfie stick.
Really couldnt disagree more. You will meet just as many interesting people in cities. The only difference between urban and rural areas is what generally makes people interesting I think.
> a couple of dogs we didn’t know were running around in our yard. A guy came and picked them up in his truck a few hours later. He explained that they broke out of the yard of a woman down the road...She didn’t want to collect them herself, she was tired.
I cannot fathom how someone can live a life this way or how they get there and continue to exist without dying of laziness. How can you care so little and still have animals to take care of much less yourself. It is incomprehensible to me.
It has been almost 9 months since I came home from my hospitalization with COVID. Prior to that, I'd have thought the same as citizenpaul.
Now that I'm dealing with "long COVID" in a big, big way… I thought the same as you, and wondered if it wasn't something like that going on.
Priorities have shifted, for sure. Having come >< close to death, the things you used to think were super important just don't seem to matter as much in the grand scheme of things.
I don't think people realize this because they aren't exposed to it. My sibling almost got bitten by our relative's dog because they got down in the dog's face and went to pet him. The dog lived roaming in an orchard and now lives in a fenced in yard, but isn't used to new people, especially people invading its space. It seems especially common among a group of friends who have pets they dote upon like children to assume all dogs are friendly unless told otherwise. But that isn't true everywhere and they aren't all so socialized. The previous set of dogs would leave in the morning, run through the ditches, find other dogs, then come back later. Occasionally it was a concern, but often they were free to roam.
Yeah it’s a bit of a culture shock for some people, and even as careful as I was growing up… still got bit a couple times, nothing too bad. In the city if your dog bites a kid you’re in deep shit.
It is rarely one simple attribute that makes someone ‘lazy’. It is a side effect.
Trauma, lack of self care, delusions, anxiety, demotivation, abuse, exhaustion, medical issues, serious mental health issues, etc.
Same with hoarding. Same with anger issues/road rage, same with wife beaters, same with con artists, same with murders.
These all interrelate to each other (often reinforcing or contributing to starting new ones too!) and while most functioning people are able to identify the factors causing dysregulation into a non-functioning or pathologically functioning state and address them before they become a real problem, anyone can end up there with the right set of stimuli and circumstances.
For some it requires truly exceptional inputs (to the point it’s nigh impossible - see James Bond Stockdale) for others it comes naturally due to a very unlucky set of genetic factors or how they were raised (or both).
If you decide to choose pity, avoidance, anger, retribution, or something else (understanding and self-regulation in a way that helps you?) is up to you.
Sometimes there is no ‘good’ response, which is why the legal system exists the way it does, right of self defense exists in most places, property rights exist in the way they do in most places to contain/conpartmentalize things, etc.
I thought it was beautiful, specially the meditative state of the desert silence.
I find 'tech bro' characterization uncalled for here (and uncharitable in general) -- dismissing someone's personal writing based on stereotype. Stereotyping any large number of people (could be psychologists, writers, scientists or tech workers) never leads to a good reflection. It's more in vogue to do so with well off people, but no less uncharitable.
> You don’t get to only hang out with Democrats. Former Trump voters are the people who drag your car out of the sand when it gets stuck, or help you fix your bathroom, and they are extremely nice, and don’t turn their noses down at your fussy jute rugs or purple sofa.
I guess I’ve always assumed that (like myself) many US city dwellers grew up in rural areas and migrated to the city because of the lack of economic opportunity. Many others grew up in generally conservative working class urban areas. So I’m constantly surprised that Substackers feel the need to constantly remind their audience that rural people are ordinary folks and don’t have forked tongues or whatever.
At the same time I feel articles like this one miss a lot of the real tragedy that goes on in US rural areas. For city migrants with fancy remote jobs there’s plenty to enjoy. But your children will have to leave the area when they grow up, at least to maintain a similar quality of life. Having moved to a medium-size city (and left my rural home at 18) I am contemplating the idea that my own children might live close to me after they grow up - or at least they could choose to. That’s exciting and I think trumps any amount of natural beauty I miss living in Baltimore. And over the course of my lifetime politics has become polarized in a very nasty way, largely due (I think) to the economic circumstances. You can ignore this but it’s still there.
Finally: if your friends in the city are pretentious, make some new friends.
> For city migrants with fancy remote jobs there’s plenty to enjoy. But your children will have to leave the area when they grow up, at least to maintain a similar quality of life. Having moved to a medium-size city (and left my rural home at 18) I am contemplating the idea that my own children might live close to me after they grow up - or at least they could choose to. That’s exciting and I think trumps any amount of natural beauty I miss living in Baltimore.
Absolutely true. Part of why we want to be in the city is so that our children don't _have_ to leave, like we had to.
Yes and no. There is always the option of being a "townie". I moved into a city 15 years ago and often ponder what life would be like if I had stayed, and what I want for my children.
While city life certainly comes with more monetary opportunity, I am still not sure it is worth the costs. I earn 200k/yr and struggle with the prospect of being a home owner here, knowing full well I make well above the median. Visiting my home town, I talk with peers who stuck around and bought homes with a bar tender's salary shortly after graduating highschool. They have their own challenges, but they are very different than mine. The grass is always greener, but I feel that the American dream of family, home ownership, and independence and is much more attainable in small towns.
I have a lot of thoughts about this. The basic fact is that there are very few opportunities where I'm from. However, people do get by. Now, suppose that I was graduating high school in a rural WA area now... I'm reviewing houses in "the nowhere" right now, just out of curiosity, and 500K is very normal. I don't understand how this isn't going to cause a massive political upheaval in the next decade. People have got to have places to live.
I recently visited JT after a gap of 20 years. I was shocked at how much it had changed. Where there were just the odd, local mom-and-pop shops peddling essentials, there were now shops selling high-end fashion crap.
It’s like the Pacific Northwest and folks who move based on experiences during a visit anytime from May to August.
It works itself out long term, but being one? Oof. That was a harsh awakening. I never knew moss could grow on a sidewalk before. Before I left, I knew it was amazing you could even see the sidewalk.
> LA is great… As you approach the city you feel the ambient stress levels start ramping up.
I find the Bay Area, and the valley in particular energizing, and even high stress. There’s something going on on every corner. My wife, an artist, found it dull, a cultural wasteland.
When we went to LA she was excited by the high energy buzz, all the activity wherever you looked, and so much creativity. While to me, it was a sleepy place: the people even walked slowly and had long lunches!
Depends on what you mean by culture. In terms of haute or prestige culture including the arts that would be correct. But if you are looking for fringe subcultures like psychonauts, ENM, amateur philosophy, people into weird shit like growing gourmet mushrooms or home (not necessarily illegal) chemistry - basically the stuff you wouldn't see on Instagram or whatever because it's too niche and weird - the SFBA has a really high density.
But in what way is your perspective about SF Bay Area objective?
From what I noticed, the people that like that place and aspire for it, aside from natives:
Live in northern california or central valley and have no other city around. They aspire to escape their circumstance to SF.
Other groups of people that have no other frame of reference of the other major cities, specifically LA/NYC.
A work visa holder with no choice in the matter.
Or people with other frames of reference that love the outdoors and doing things an 1-4 hours away from the area but pretending it is something they do in that area. “What do you like about San Francisco?” <fond memories of hikes in Marin and Lake Tahoe>
Just for the benefit of the doubt I’m going to put you in that last category. I’m really just hoping that you don’t mean running around to tech meetups for pizza and AWS credits and saying its a matter of perspective.
“ The world, you find out, is held together by sturdy guys with beards named Jim who don’t give two sh##s about what you think or how you behave. Some of them say “God bless” and “have a blessed day” without a hint of irony.”
This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on.
> This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on.
I think this is also a highly idealized version of these people. I grew up in the Bay Area but have spent the majority of the last 5 years in Montana. There are plenty of kind and gracious people, but there are also a huge amount of people that do actually care about how you behave and where youre from. Ive been told countless times to leave the state, go back to where Im from, etc.
The culture is definitely different from cities, but anyone who tells you its all rainbows, sunshine, and people saying "god bless" no matter what is lying to you.
That may be the anxiety that causes their behavior, but it’s an anxiety borne out of their own preconceptions. You don’t have to do anything in particular to set them off: mere passive existence is enough.
I think maybe their own anxiety about thinking an outsider is going to tell them how to live could be causing it, but Im definitely not making suggestions for them. There have been multiple times at bars where the extent of the conversation was "hey how are you" -> "oh where are you from" -> "oh why dont you go back there" and thats it.
I try to fit in the best I can, but there are still obvious differences in how I dress, and probably in how I act, but I definitely wouldnt see myself as hostile towards the people around me.
If someone said a lot of people in a city were rude, there probably wouldnt be second thoughts about it, but it seems that a lot of people, especially in hn-type cultures idealize rural people and how they think they will act.
Somewhat tangentially, Id say that current politics and the whole "California boogeyman" make this trend significantly worse overall
Have to agree. I grew up in rural areas, and my experience was that everything around me was oriented around paying quite a lot of attention to making sure that everyone thought and especially behaved in the expected way. Moving to the city as soon as I could probably saved my life, since I was able to find a place where I could be my weird self without endless bullying from adults as well as children for being different. The part of the country I lived in, people were exceptionally (unbelievably in retrospect) cruel to Mexicans or anyone else who appeared foreign, and anyone who came across as non-straight.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with rural places or people, and I know many people can find happiness there (just like they can in cities). Many people are wonderful, just like many people in cities are wonderful. Many people in both places are not.
That the desert is filled with noble savages, uncorrupted by civilisation, is a fantasy though.
All that said, this article reads almost like a parody of something? I’m not entirely sure it’s intended to be sincere, or if it is mocking a certain kind of city person who idealises the countryside.
This works in both directions, there's even an acknowledgement of this within the original quote, "Some of them say “God bless” and “have a blessed day” without a hint of irony.” This shouldn't even be surprising as humans are social creatures that form groups which ostracizes those that don't fit in.
Cities tend to be easier simply because there are more people that will accept you, although certainly not everyone will. The more rural you get the less people there are and the more you're expected to fit in, you just don't have other options.
Yea Im not saying it doesnt go the other way too, Im just saying that people idealize rural living and the people who do it as extremely kind and caring or whatever, when its generally no different than living in a city.
It is much different. People who live in more dense environments experience more stress, and stressed people behave differently, they interact (or don't interact) with people differently. You are 2X more likely to have schizophrenia in a city, and this signal is much stronger than genetics. More than a third of all schizophrenia cases would be prevented if people were not born and raised in cities. And the higher the population density, the higher the prevalence. What causes this? Environmental toxins? Noise? Too much stimulation? You have a 70% higher risk of a psychotic episode in a city. I've lived all over the place, including DC, Chicago and LA. I like the energy, but res ipsa loquitur.
Large cities would not exist without agriculture. Agriculture is a technology. I understand why it's not popular to talk about this stuff. We're pretty much stuck with all of it, I get it.
I was never accepted, my mom finally was after about 20 years. Part of it for me was that I think a bit differently and want different things than most other folks. But a bigger part was that this little Bible Belt town really was intolerant of that, far less so than the urban areas I've lived since then. They simply were more authoritarian and insecure in reaction to someone that didn't want they wanted.
Yes, there are good folk in rural areas; in my experience, they're about the same proportion as of good folk in urban areas. And I see no difference in competence; some difference in what people are competent at, sure. (Me, I still spend a lot of time making things, and I'm going to be rebuilding a run-down house this year that I'll probably have to hire someone to help with, but otherwise am doing myself.)
I'm really, truly sick of the urban vs. rural culture war garbage. Romanticize whatever you like, that's the nature of how humans relate to their communities. But here's a hint: if that requires shitting on other ways of life, you're being defensive and insecure.
I love this quote, and I've experienced it while backpacking through the desert and through mountains as well, almost complete loss of time and forgetting all the things I used to care about (like checking what is on the front page of HN, for example). Coming back to the city is a weird feeling of "time" returning, almost like a regaining of consciousness after being asleep, it's a strange sensation. But also returning to the city pushes that meditative awareness side of me back into the shadow.
> You go to cities for commerce, optionality, stimulation, sex, culture, bright lights, and the feeling of being relevant. Cities tell you that, whatever human life is about, you are right on top of it.
No, Sasha, most people go to the city to escape poverty.
Some of us don’t go to cities at all if they can help it. My visit to a city is usually because I was dragged there by somebody else, or because I’m traveling through to get somewhere else. I’ve visited enough cities (in every continent but South America, and Antarctica obviously) to know you all can keep them.
I recently moved out of the city too, and everything in the article resonates with me. It's just that people that move into the city usually do it to get a better job. If you have been born there, yea, it probably feels like what the author said, you don't even realize.
Oh boy do I not like this blog post! It’s well written and entertaining, but painfully unaware of itself despite thinking it is self aware. Rich guy from LA buys a house closer to nature and experiences the life most people live but thinks it’s some transformative magical experience. Goes back to LA to eat escargot with friends but finds the city not as relaxing.
It’s like he’s cosplaying as a normal person. Although if the article is written like this on purpose, it’s a work of art.
I found his description of LA as pretty dead on for why I moved out of NYC. There is endless novelty on some level but little or no actual meta-novelty, i.e. you can consume different things and experiences but you can’t not consume. I do think he misses a lot about the benefits of living in a less popular area which are mostly around long term things like building, creating, community etc and freedom to decide your own pattern of living.
>Former Trump voters are the people who drag your car out of the sand when it gets stuck, or help you fix your bathroom, and they are extremely nice, and don’t turn their noses down at your fussy jute rugs or purple sofa.
Yeah... This is going to be highly dependant on your race and ethnicity.
I'm really sick of this holier than thou attitude, and it's not even true. The implication is that people who vote Democrat won't help you when you break down and give a thought about your interior design choices. It's just not true, grow up.
I spent 20 minutes listening to someone from Mississippi talking about how much better she is than "people around here" because she once helped "a Dominican or Puerto Rican" who broke down in front of her house. ... Except every single person I personally know around here would have done the same, except nobody I know around here would think to brag about it or pat themselves on the back.
I've read this thread and agree with most of the criticism, but still, this portrayal does resonate with me.
It's about the desert, but could be equally applied to getting away from cities to a slower paced place with a lot of outside going on. I did that (for more than 5 months) and never intend to go back to the cities. Just being able to see the stars in the sky and the lack of traffic make it worth whatever inconveniences come along with slower paced life.
The noise of life is always in the background in the city, there's a base level stress that's just always there. Some people thrive on it. Some people, like me, need the calm.
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[ 3.3 ms ] story [ 143 ms ] threadThis, too, is vanity.
> But I’m really not different at all. It’s salutary to remember that you are just a type of guy, as my friend Adam reminded me. I sing the praises of the non-consumer wilderness, but will still go to great pains to obtain a fancy croissant. To the longtime residents, I am instantly identifiable as a recent Angeleno, even if I’m wearing a dirty t-shirt and cut-off shorts. My hands are too soft, my body language is too awkward. Maybe if I live out here for like a decade it won’t be accurate to accuse me of LARPing anymore.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LampshadeHanging
The interiority of the individual does not change, although the external world may reflect into the interior differently and the individuals' mind may easily filter one way or another. You can be and have the same interior experience if you're in the middle of a city, or if you're on the top of a mountain.
it's just a place to live. one with better air and fewer people.
https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Ecclesiastes%204%3A4
The author's experience is that "same structure, new shapes" is the quality of the urban life. But that is also the quality of rural life, although the specific details differ; this is simply another shape in the same structure of life. Whether you're in the city, or the suburbs, or the emptiness of the mountain, you are who you are, people are who they are, there's no innate difference in the matter. The environment is strictly the environment.
This, too, is vanity.
To further quote the unnamed author -
> Only this, I have found, is a real good: that one should eat and drink and get pleasure with all the gains he makes under the sun, during the numbered days of life that God has given him; for that is his portion.
To be able to dwell in contentment where one is, is a real blessing.
To the contrary, people monetizing their unique lifestyles or skills in remote non urban places is a major thing on YouTube. Some are in the environs of Joshua Tree, no less.
Just dip your toes in the off-grid or permaculture lifestyle worlds and you'll find them.
Sure you can go on YouTube and live vicariously through a young white dude with a cute girlfriend in a flat bill cap and Oakley sunglasses and a 100k RV shilling products at you and starting every video with "what is up guys hit the notification bell down below", and maybe you can imagine your life being more like that. Maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about gardening or cooling an aluminum box in the summer. But actually getting out there, you'll find a ton of people actually living interesting lives without a gopro on a selfie stick.
But isn't that true pretty much everywhere?
I cannot fathom how someone can live a life this way or how they get there and continue to exist without dying of laziness. How can you care so little and still have animals to take care of much less yourself. It is incomprehensible to me.
Now that I'm dealing with "long COVID" in a big, big way… I thought the same as you, and wondered if it wasn't something like that going on.
Priorities have shifted, for sure. Having come >< close to death, the things you used to think were super important just don't seem to matter as much in the grand scheme of things.
they’ll come home when they’re hungry, as long as they don’t bother livestock people don’t tend to care much
Trauma, lack of self care, delusions, anxiety, demotivation, abuse, exhaustion, medical issues, serious mental health issues, etc.
Same with hoarding. Same with anger issues/road rage, same with wife beaters, same with con artists, same with murders.
These all interrelate to each other (often reinforcing or contributing to starting new ones too!) and while most functioning people are able to identify the factors causing dysregulation into a non-functioning or pathologically functioning state and address them before they become a real problem, anyone can end up there with the right set of stimuli and circumstances.
For some it requires truly exceptional inputs (to the point it’s nigh impossible - see James Bond Stockdale) for others it comes naturally due to a very unlucky set of genetic factors or how they were raised (or both).
If you decide to choose pity, avoidance, anger, retribution, or something else (understanding and self-regulation in a way that helps you?) is up to you.
Sometimes there is no ‘good’ response, which is why the legal system exists the way it does, right of self defense exists in most places, property rights exist in the way they do in most places to contain/conpartmentalize things, etc.
Comical (but bang-on accurate) to start this by quoting Paul Graham.
I find 'tech bro' characterization uncalled for here (and uncharitable in general) -- dismissing someone's personal writing based on stereotype. Stereotyping any large number of people (could be psychologists, writers, scientists or tech workers) never leads to a good reflection. It's more in vogue to do so with well off people, but no less uncharitable.
I guess I’ve always assumed that (like myself) many US city dwellers grew up in rural areas and migrated to the city because of the lack of economic opportunity. Many others grew up in generally conservative working class urban areas. So I’m constantly surprised that Substackers feel the need to constantly remind their audience that rural people are ordinary folks and don’t have forked tongues or whatever.
At the same time I feel articles like this one miss a lot of the real tragedy that goes on in US rural areas. For city migrants with fancy remote jobs there’s plenty to enjoy. But your children will have to leave the area when they grow up, at least to maintain a similar quality of life. Having moved to a medium-size city (and left my rural home at 18) I am contemplating the idea that my own children might live close to me after they grow up - or at least they could choose to. That’s exciting and I think trumps any amount of natural beauty I miss living in Baltimore. And over the course of my lifetime politics has become polarized in a very nasty way, largely due (I think) to the economic circumstances. You can ignore this but it’s still there.
Finally: if your friends in the city are pretentious, make some new friends.
Absolutely true. Part of why we want to be in the city is so that our children don't _have_ to leave, like we had to.
While city life certainly comes with more monetary opportunity, I am still not sure it is worth the costs. I earn 200k/yr and struggle with the prospect of being a home owner here, knowing full well I make well above the median. Visiting my home town, I talk with peers who stuck around and bought homes with a bar tender's salary shortly after graduating highschool. They have their own challenges, but they are very different than mine. The grass is always greener, but I feel that the American dream of family, home ownership, and independence and is much more attainable in small towns.
JT has become LA suburbia.
It works itself out long term, but being one? Oof. That was a harsh awakening. I never knew moss could grow on a sidewalk before. Before I left, I knew it was amazing you could even see the sidewalk.
I find the Bay Area, and the valley in particular energizing, and even high stress. There’s something going on on every corner. My wife, an artist, found it dull, a cultural wasteland.
When we went to LA she was excited by the high energy buzz, all the activity wherever you looked, and so much creativity. While to me, it was a sleepy place: the people even walked slowly and had long lunches!
All a matter of perspective.
Very few artists/creatives live there because they are priced out by tech workers.
From what I noticed, the people that like that place and aspire for it, aside from natives:
Live in northern california or central valley and have no other city around. They aspire to escape their circumstance to SF.
Other groups of people that have no other frame of reference of the other major cities, specifically LA/NYC.
A work visa holder with no choice in the matter.
Or people with other frames of reference that love the outdoors and doing things an 1-4 hours away from the area but pretending it is something they do in that area. “What do you like about San Francisco?” <fond memories of hikes in Marin and Lake Tahoe>
Just for the benefit of the doubt I’m going to put you in that last category. I’m really just hoping that you don’t mean running around to tech meetups for pizza and AWS credits and saying its a matter of perspective.
Reads as vapid, shallow nonsense.
Reads as vapid, shallow nonsense, and there's certainly no conclusions, let alone arguments anywhere to be seen.
This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on.
I think this is also a highly idealized version of these people. I grew up in the Bay Area but have spent the majority of the last 5 years in Montana. There are plenty of kind and gracious people, but there are also a huge amount of people that do actually care about how you behave and where youre from. Ive been told countless times to leave the state, go back to where Im from, etc.
The culture is definitely different from cities, but anyone who tells you its all rainbows, sunshine, and people saying "god bless" no matter what is lying to you.
At least, in my experience.
I try to fit in the best I can, but there are still obvious differences in how I dress, and probably in how I act, but I definitely wouldnt see myself as hostile towards the people around me.
If someone said a lot of people in a city were rude, there probably wouldnt be second thoughts about it, but it seems that a lot of people, especially in hn-type cultures idealize rural people and how they think they will act.
Somewhat tangentially, Id say that current politics and the whole "California boogeyman" make this trend significantly worse overall
I don’t think there is anything wrong with rural places or people, and I know many people can find happiness there (just like they can in cities). Many people are wonderful, just like many people in cities are wonderful. Many people in both places are not.
That the desert is filled with noble savages, uncorrupted by civilisation, is a fantasy though.
All that said, this article reads almost like a parody of something? I’m not entirely sure it’s intended to be sincere, or if it is mocking a certain kind of city person who idealises the countryside.
Cities tend to be easier simply because there are more people that will accept you, although certainly not everyone will. The more rural you get the less people there are and the more you're expected to fit in, you just don't have other options.
I was never accepted, my mom finally was after about 20 years. Part of it for me was that I think a bit differently and want different things than most other folks. But a bigger part was that this little Bible Belt town really was intolerant of that, far less so than the urban areas I've lived since then. They simply were more authoritarian and insecure in reaction to someone that didn't want they wanted.
Yes, there are good folk in rural areas; in my experience, they're about the same proportion as of good folk in urban areas. And I see no difference in competence; some difference in what people are competent at, sure. (Me, I still spend a lot of time making things, and I'm going to be rebuilding a run-down house this year that I'll probably have to hire someone to help with, but otherwise am doing myself.)
I'm really, truly sick of the urban vs. rural culture war garbage. Romanticize whatever you like, that's the nature of how humans relate to their communities. But here's a hint: if that requires shitting on other ways of life, you're being defensive and insecure.
Although, in a lot of the US, their skin might not be white, and, thus, have a name of Jose or Gurdeep...
In a city, nobody gives a shit about you unless you specifically poke them--and maybe not even then.
I love this quote, and I've experienced it while backpacking through the desert and through mountains as well, almost complete loss of time and forgetting all the things I used to care about (like checking what is on the front page of HN, for example). Coming back to the city is a weird feeling of "time" returning, almost like a regaining of consciousness after being asleep, it's a strange sensation. But also returning to the city pushes that meditative awareness side of me back into the shadow.
No, Sasha, most people go to the city to escape poverty.
It’s like he’s cosplaying as a normal person. Although if the article is written like this on purpose, it’s a work of art.
But I like the writing.
>Former Trump voters are the people who drag your car out of the sand when it gets stuck, or help you fix your bathroom, and they are extremely nice, and don’t turn their noses down at your fussy jute rugs or purple sofa.
Yeah... This is going to be highly dependant on your race and ethnicity.
I'm really sick of this holier than thou attitude, and it's not even true. The implication is that people who vote Democrat won't help you when you break down and give a thought about your interior design choices. It's just not true, grow up.
I spent 20 minutes listening to someone from Mississippi talking about how much better she is than "people around here" because she once helped "a Dominican or Puerto Rican" who broke down in front of her house. ... Except every single person I personally know around here would have done the same, except nobody I know around here would think to brag about it or pat themselves on the back.
It's about the desert, but could be equally applied to getting away from cities to a slower paced place with a lot of outside going on. I did that (for more than 5 months) and never intend to go back to the cities. Just being able to see the stars in the sky and the lack of traffic make it worth whatever inconveniences come along with slower paced life.
The noise of life is always in the background in the city, there's a base level stress that's just always there. Some people thrive on it. Some people, like me, need the calm.