Ask HN: How do I stay "on" all the time?
When I was young, maybe 14, the thrill of visiting forums and discussing things was the absolute best. I was always ON. Messaging randoms just because I can and talk, making friends online. Dying to come home to write that shitty script so I got 3 replies on a forum.
Now, I'm only "ON" about 10% of the time, and that's at work. I got my own apartment, state of the art hardware, I got everything I wanted that I thought would help me, but now I'm here, exactly where I want to be, and yet I still don't have the drive.
It seems like the more I think about what I want to attain in software, the more apathetic I become to the field in general and just want to escape. I have goals, but I rarely come home and work on something, I just go on Reddit and smoke weed until I go to bed then feel depressed for wasting yet another day.
64 comments
[ 1.9 ms ] story [ 131 ms ] threadIn any case, I totally agree about exercise increasing energy. And it only continues if it's not a chore; you have to look forward to it (eventually). Once you are good at something you will look forward to it.
How often do you smoke/drink? Cutting weed/alcohol out of your diet can be really hard but if you've found yourself in a bit of a funk I'd recommend it. Also, cutting masturbation down has helped me have more energy in general which I think is often over looked.
And cannabis makes you unmotivated. It has an effect on you even on the next day (at least with a bit of bad luck), which can kill even then any motivation. It is one of the worst things you could do if you have problems to motivate yourself to do stuff.
Edit: Maybe I should tell a bit about that.
Take that one guy who lived with me. He lived in the USA for years, had to leave not too soon ago because of visa stuff. Had aspirations of becoming a fashion designer, music producer, had a good paying job as a photograph - never fully graped how much of his high reaching goals were hot air, but at least he could show some stuff he tried to do, he met people for it, and so on. Quite successful with woman, by the way, being a cool and good lucking guy from america.
He had a bit of waiting time before his next step, a design study course on a university, which sounded not too bad. But he started to smoke weed every day. That was a slow process - first, it was occasionally, which was fine and helped with the music, then it got more and more.
He got one small job (starbucks) to fill the time. Before, his day was being at home doing stuff. Now, it was either working, smoking weed and doing nothing, or if not working that day, smoking weed and doing nothing. Nothing got done, the deadline for the university came and went (not quite - a small effort a few days before based on old stuff, didn't work though). If he did catch himself after that, he at least lost a year.
Another guy I knew started with weed, became fully apathic, didn't visit the university anymore, started dealing, taking more drugs - and well, more I don't know, as the contact by then was nonexistent. But before it was sad to see as well, how one quite nice guy became an apathic being not able to buy toilet paper when it's about to go out.
I for sure stay away from that stuff since seeing that.
Why spend time learning and then having some fun with playing around with software development when you can simply light one up and reach nirvana?
Dear OP, I've been in your shoes. Seriously, smoke less, or smoke as a reward. Cannabis is awesome if you want to draw something or play music. It's not so awesome when you must use your logical mind.
Yes, it makes you feel good. That's the point, and that's why you should avoid it. Let's say it boosts your happiness by 50 happiness points. Learning something simply increase your happiness by 10 happiness points... and only when the learning it done! Of course you are not going to want to spend time learning stuff!
Long term marijuana users have been shown to have lower dopamine levels [1] which can (does?) affect motivation.
Daily exercise is what has helped me mentally more than anything else - at this point I can't imagine ever going without it.
1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201307/...
The latter activities are often more enjoyable while high so by introducing the option of smoking weed into the mix you are effectively increasing the appeal that the short-term rewards have, making it less likely overall that you will choose the long-term ones.
I suppose you can always use it as a reward ("if I work hard Monday -> Thursday evenings then I'll get high and chill out on Friday"). I'm sure that a lot of people who are successful do something like that (replace weed with any other vice or enjoyable activity).
I'm not against cannabis (though I don't use it myself), but people have to keep in mind that it is a drug. Using almost every day is not good for you, there will be some damage. If you can't use it responsibly, quit doing it altogether, today.
On a broader note, consider that when you were 14 the world and the conept of agency were both novel. In the meantime, you've realized that neither are all they're cracked up to be, and your progress through the world isn't as rapid as exciting as when you first encountered it. Some stuff that you thought was uber-cool back then turned out to be meh.
However, I do find that if you're struggling with boredom the endless flow of trivia on the internet makes that worse rather than better. Rather than Reddit, curl up with a good book.
Something I had to figure out that no one ever told me is that the older you get, the more proactive you need to be about managing your self and your time. A few suggestions for doing this:
- develop a morning ritual. For me this involves waking up to music a few hours before I have to do any work, making a healthy smoothie for breakfast, doing a few exercises, meditating, and planning my day.
- before you start working, plan out your whole day into 25 minute intervals. Think about what you want to accomplish to grow for yourself first, and then schedule your work around those personal goals.
- Keep a journal of your daily plans, and regularly track your progress. Try using Evernote for this.
- Get in the habit of devoting about 10% of your mental resources to directing your own emotions toward thinking positively, focusing, and eliminating your own bad mental habits.
Hope some of this helps.
I noticed that what I do on the FIRST DAY i move to a new city makes a huge difference in what I do for my lifetime of the new city. First day, buy kale, sign up for a gym? I will be healthy for a while. First day, grab some mcdonalds? Here comes fatty.
Here's a video I made about exactly this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJLKzSO4KBc
I'm not a very goal-motivated person, because it always seems far off and unattainable and like there's a lot of work I'd have to do to get there for little payoff until the very end. So I just do little stuff, code dumb little apps that don't do much except teach me something I didn't know before.
This is going to be something that will come up again and again as the lifehackers do whatever they can to trim and prune themselves into the life that's most convenient.
You aren't broken - the framework that you're forcing yourself to operate in is. No matter how many drugs and how much adderall we take, we can only ignore what our minds are trying to tell us for so long.
There's something that you want to be doing right now, and it's not what you think it is. You'll have to figure it out or be stuck in limbo.
Starting is actually the hardest part if you are demotivated. Commit to work on something for 15 minutes or 3-5 of your favorite songs and agree that if you aren't feeling it you can stop. Many times that is all you need to get going into a full day flow state, small chunks of time with the ability to stop if you want. I also leave an easy issue on some game code if I need to get right back in the next day.
Where all else fails, create a project that is more difficult to work on, if it is procrastination it tends to the easier tasks. Make some tasks that are harder above what you want to get done. If you setup the right rewards/balance systems you won't have to trick yourself, stuff will just get done. Small bites.
The rate of change varies from person to person, and you can probably reinvigorate yourself to a degree with a better lifestyle (more exercise, a better diet, a stimulating job, a vibrant social life), but slowing down is inevitable.
Damn that's depressing.
Sure, your overall energy level goes down when you age. But if you matured well, then your motivation goes up because you know what matters to the world and what matters to yourself. And you have more skills. People are motivated to do what they're good at.
When you're young, you're trying lots of shit, but you mostly suck at all of the things you try. You're a dilettante. Your low expectations and sense of novelty keep you excited. You're spending a lot of energy, but objectively not getting much done.
When you're older, you're trying less stuff, but the skills you already have allow you to use much less energy to to accomplish much more.
Honestly I think there is an additional compounding effect with programming -- you can write programs that make you a better programmer. I still use little tools and scripts I built 5 to 10 years ago, and they magnify my productivity. I know that as a 20 year old I would have spent an entire afternoon on something that is now second nature; a one-liner.
It's not a matter of having more energy. You don't want to spend lot of energy while programming, at least.
I totally agree that you have more raw energy and there is more potential for excitement when you're 14. But like I said, if you want to write good software, "energy" and "excitement" are not top on the list of attributes you need.
I think the OP is basically describing mild depression, which is a completely different issue, unrelated to getting older. You can be depressed and young or depressed and old. In fact I was a lot more depressed when I was younger.
You turned an issue of motivation into an issue of age, when they're not the same thing.
Perhaps if your goal is to write the next Facebook, and you're in your 30's, the time has passed. You're not going to be Zuckerberg, or Larry Page. I guess some people have trouble coming to grips with that. But personally I don't care so much about those kinds of things (and didn't when I was younger either.) You're not going to be Van Halen or Jack White either. Suck it up :)
The way I like to look at it is that you simply need to work a little harder. You see athletes in their 30's and 40's (and even much later) doing things that most people can't do in their teens. Why is that? It's because pretty much everyone is so far from their potential.
In theory some particular aspect of you may start declining but almost always this means that if you work harder at it you can outperform your younger self... So while there are some biological processes at work most of it is in your mind.
His problem is that he's in a pretty severe rut. His default activities (low-value screen time) and cannabis use are depleting him. Unfortunately, the "obvious" change (quit pot and Reddit and, most likely, the Internet, cold turkey) is probably not a good idea. He could probably quit the cannabis cold turkey (it's not physically addictive) but if he quits screen time, he's risking anxiety issues. (Screen addiction is, IMO, about low-level anxiety.)
Energy levels do go down with age, but not so dramatically. Most people, I would say, are at 60-80% of peak energy (enough to perform well at work, and offset by gains in perspective) until their final illness (which might take a week, or a decade, to run its course).
The VC-funded world worships youth in a creepy way that has more to do with venture capitalists' midlife crises (they did their 20s wrong, and want to relive those years by taking young proteges-- this is often known as chickenhawking) than anything real or substantial. We shouldn't fall for that bullshit. The years from 20 to about 70 are basically a plateau for most people (excluding athletes)-- if they take care of their health.
1) Work out (if you're not), to keep your energy high; it's also arguably the best combatant of feeling depressed.
2) Work on projects you're passionate about or find challenging in software. If your job isn't fulfilling that overall mission, consider a change.
3) Maybe starting your own business so you can better dictate your goals and challenges, is another answer.
It kind of sounds like you're in the wrong field (given your apathy and wanting to escape). I've known a few software prodigies - people that were seemingly gifted toward writing software from a young age. A lot of them were miserable in the field as they got older (perhaps too easy?). Maybe software is too easy for you, or just boring period at this point.
> I have goals, but It seems, those are not 'recharging' at the time
== Try some of these for a week or two == Do nothing(nothing at all, just sit and observe which thoughts are bugging you) Do stuff you like. Do something you haven't done before. Make mistakes. Learn.
I love making lists and do so everyday. Mostly they are to do items, but they have longer term items as well. During exercise I review my lists, usually in my head. Not only does my mind feel clear through physical exertion, I sometimes have a new angle on my work (and a renewed passion).
Get back to making meaningful things. Start with a single line of code. Build, ship, build. Learn. Build more. Ship more.
Use LeechBlock or similar browser plugin to limit your reddit to certain times of day (Later, rather than early, or you'll get distracted). Breaking habits like reddit browsing is difficult to do without forcing yourself to do different. Make sure you configure it so that you can't disable the block, or you could develop the habit of just disabling it when you hit the block. Also, if you find yourself mindlessly browsing, take a break from the machine and grab a brew or something to snack on, or do some exercise.
The biggest hurdle is actually getting started. Once you've got open your editor, the project your working on, and a goal in your mind, the rest is straightforward.
One thing that might be holding you back is lack of short term goals or over ambition, because you will always feel like you won't have enough time to complete anything of value, and chose to put it off instead. Give yourself some short goals with some Todo organizer, or org-mode, but don't list to many, and don't expect to finish them all.
Force yourself to consider a joint, or some other entertainment (like Reddit, HN) as a reward for achieving some goals.
Also, consider working on some open source project, or work on one with somebody you know. Having someone else to motivate you and discuss ideas with is a massive help, as long as you don't spend all your time talking crap.
Maybe you could get some of that "rush" back by setting your goals to non-technical things for your technical projects? IE, instead of "learn this", maybe "launch this by X" or "get X many users"? Maybe what you need are small measurable milestones to hit.
The other thing is, sometimes it just helps to have some sort of "dumb" activity that can get you into rhythm. Like, when I'm trying to get into coding, a lot of times I'll just sort of start cleaning up code, writing some simple comments, and refactoring things, because it's sort of a brainless activity that can get me going. YMMV, but it helps just to start being active and ease into the hard things.
Also things have developed to be kind of complicated compared to the good old days when commercial games were made by some dude just like you in his moms basement, maybe from zero to completion.
Most things have been done already and done well by either very talented inviduals or companies with lots of people. It's not fun to reinvent a wheel, especially if you're doubtful that it would be any better than what's already out there.
Getting older also gives you self confidence and/or lowers your need for validation from others. Impressing a tiny fraction of anonymous people on the internet doesn't change how you feel.
If you got good at what you're doing, then you know that you could accomplish what you want and how to go about doing it if you just decided to do it, that's mostly not motivating or challenging, more like a chore.
I'd suggest starting a project with some kind of measurable outcome, such as trying to get your stack overflow score up, making some kind of utility that's faster than the existing ones (a faster grep, an xml parser, ..) or something like that.
I would recommend writing yours ideas down. If your thoughts are jumbled - (as another commenter mentioned) - you might have the developer's equivalent of "writers's block". Even if you don't release them, it might get you to focus on it, inspire you to think and excited to get started.
I released my list to inspire myself and others.
Forgive yourself even if you got nothing done. Say "This is allright even if I didn't get anything done, it's allright to make mistakes and do nothing. I forgive myself."
Do this whenever you are blaming yourself for something. It's the key to healing from any self placed limitation, to allow it to happen and then allow positive changes to take place.
Start exercising regularly, go running, swimming, do yoga, whatever. Very important in order to keep your energies running and your mind working, like many others here have noticed too.
There are also very good advice here, so I will not go into more detail, but I see these are the most important parts to get out of the place you are in, based on this short information you gave.