The old man in me screams: It's not that travel has become narcissistic, it's that everything has. Narcissists make everything about them, and there seem to be more narcissists now than ever before (if there aren't more, the existing ones are certainly more prominent).
We're all one of the crowd, like the author says. Technology has made it very easy to forget that.
It's true! I keep refreshing the page to see if people are upvoting me (I think that's what we call it on HN?).
But some narcissism is healthy; the problem is more when it's allowed to run rampant or become the sole purpose behind some behavior. It's the difference between posting because you have something to say, hoping people might agree, and posting because you need people to agree with you.
I think spamming refresh happens not because you're narcissist but because you are eager to see if your opinion is well-received by others. That can be unhealthy. It's one thing to get feedback from multiple sources to notice things and behaviors that are harmful or unwanted (like being cocky or people feeling you're argumentative) and another if you're anxious to learn whether or not others will find value in what you said.
It's roughly like... The "nice guy syndrome", where a person is engaged with what others expect from him so much that he undermines what he personally wants. In online forum terms this might mean that you're commenting in favor of the popular opinion of the forum and not voicing your own opinion to see whether it has flaws or not. Naturally, this is one of the many reasons why a community becomes an "echo chamber".
I think I post a lot on places like HN to compensate for a lack of a social life. It's not like I even try to form any connection with people on forums online, so I'm not making friends, but I think there is a connection.
True. But while most forms of narcissism, depending on your view, are innocent, the problem with this particular form of narcissism is that it is a burden on the environment.
True. But while most forms of narcissism, depending on your view, are relatively innocent, the problem with this particular form of narcissism is that it is an ecological disaster in progress.
People might be becoming more narcissistic, but mostly they're just finding it easier to permanently share the anecdotes they'd otherwise be doling out only to those in their immediate company at any given time.
When the author argues that "Instead of taking time to absorb and consider, many people seem more inclined to travel quickly, tick off the ‘don’t miss’ highlights and form broad-brush assumptions based on the bare minimum of immersion" he's miles off. People have been targeting the 'sights' since the notion of overseas travel as a source of pleasure began aeons ago. If anything, the web actually encourages immersion, because the "sights" themselves can be enjoyed from all conceivable angles in the comfort of ones own bedroom.
What's changed is that when travellers and tourists do visit the "highlights" - often called that for good reason - they'll inevitably feel the need to share selfies with their entire social network afterwards.
The same goes for the photos shared as a permanent record of their night out at the bar down the road in Clapham rather than Tanzania, or the people who actually do go to Eastbourne and feel the need to check-in to show they've been to the actual pier. Or people sharing their pithy observations on the football, or approval of the latest Upworthy video.
Actually, the most narcissistic act of all has got to be blogging, because I'm sure there's a time that travel journalists spent their time in between the tough grind of churning out freelance travel articles exploring the world around them rather than eloquently excoriating their usual audience on medium.com to broadcast how much more worldly they are than all the other holidaying proles.
Narcissism may have increased relative to the past, I don't know, but it seems a simpler explanation that travel has become much cheaper as time has gone on, so now there are more people capable of participating and talking about it. Couple that with the development of technological tools able to amplify communications to more people than in the past, and the incidence of travel (among many other topics) becomes more visible.
It comes as no surprise that people do things that they see other people doing, which I don't think has changed much as time goes on. So, people travel, they talk about it, more people "hear" it, and more people travel as a result.
I'm saying the presentation is a symptom of the purpose. In my opinion, social media are not designed to share ideas or experiences, but rather, as a means to seek approval from others. I think that somebody who Instagrams his trip is more likely to be doing so because he wants others to see what he's doing and judge him on it, rather than so that he can document the trip for himself.
But that's only my opinion and not a matter of objective knowledge.
> The old man in me screams: It's not that travel has become narcissistic, it's that everything has.
Old men have always bemoaned the narcissism of young people. It isn't "kids these days," it's just "kids."
Maybe it's a cliche at this point to bring this up, but
“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
is attributed to Socrates.
I've enjoyed the Language Log's "narcissism skepticism" over the years. Maybe someone else will too:
The old man that I am asks, Are you old enough to remember the days of slides and projectors? If not, a bit of research in popular culture should be able to turn up gags from the comics and the situation comedies about the horrors of the neighbors' slide show minutely cataloging their two week vacation to Yellowstone or Paris or ...
Technology has made it possible to bore, amuse, or irritate a global audience rather than a neighborhood one.
Perhaps. And I have certainly encountered the type of traveller who seemingly tells you stories of their journeys so that they may one-up you on the social scale. I tend to forgive this, though, because underneath it all we are simply simians with shoes, jockeying for social status and sex.
I have travelled some in my life. Not extensively, but enough to have a few stories of my own. My guidelines around traveling are:
1) Be humble. Related: be prepared to apologize if you do something unintentionally rude. I had to do this frequently in Asia because me, being American, was not used to taking off my shoes whenever I entered a home or restaurant. I quickly learned, but there were times at the beginning where I forgot. Apologies helped. Exception: Australia.
2) Be reserved. If someone is interested in you or your country they will ask. If not, don't bore them with something they may or may not care about. Exception: Ireland.
3) Do not portray competitiveness. This can easily come across as arrogant and provincial. Exception: Ireland.
4) Be inquisitive. Ask questions about the country you are visiting, and be genuine about it, not judgmental. Exception: North Korea.
5) When you return home, tell your tales to interested friends or coworkers, but be aware that not everyone will care. Exception: Finland.
As someone who lives there, I'm also curious about that. Should number 5 be read as "tell everyone about Finland", or "tell no one about Finland"? Why?
I found this post interesting, but it was also funny because you maybe unknowingly became the guy who has traveled and thought it gave him some unique insight into the world. And you were compelled to share it unprompted with people who presumably don't care. ;)
No, not really. At least, I hope not. I do think that travel has helped me to view the world differently, but I don't think I am better than others because of it.
> I tend to forgive this, though, because underneath it all we are simply simians with shoes, jockeying for social status and sex.
People who say this seem to be the same kind of person who would ultimately ascribe most human behavior to being about simian behavior. Which makes using that fact as an excuse (or, forgiveness) seem like a weak proposal, since it would effectively excuse most human behavior.
Apparently traveling is "something to do" for developed-country-dwellers. What used to be a hobby for the ultrarich of the 19th century is now part of the middle class dream. The bigger issue than narcissism however is the homogeneity of cultures today. There is barely anything to "explore" that is original and not part of some touristy routine (even space will soon turn out a boring destination). There's just an enormous industry built behind it that keeps the train moving.
I have to disagree. Sure, if you stick with package tours taking an air conditioned bus from one site to another, that's all you'll get. But there is more than enough to explore that is nothing like developed, Western countries. Yes, there are things like the Banana Pancake trail where it just feels like you can't escape the Lonely Planet bus. But I can't agree that the world can be so distilled into a guidebook that there's nothing left, or that somehow that makes the world homogenous.
A tourist can turn the world into Disneyland if they wish, but that's their own damn fault.
I personally believe that Minecraft-complete worlds can never become boring. People forget, and the complexity allows for unforeseen things. And I also don’t believe in the solution to Fermi Paradox that sufficiently advanced cultures disappear in virtual realities. There is always something special about the physical world where all things can terminate irreversibly.
Ultimately it is about the price of energy. We're at a point where the price per Joule of fuel suitable for all kinds of transportation is the lowest it's ever been, affordable to an unprecedented number of folks. I often wonder about a hypothetical civilization that might arise in the future if the current one breaks down due to war or some natural disaster. How will it develop without access to easy oil and ores? Perhaps it will be a more thoughtful and humble civilization, and maybe the limits of its world will not seem so small as they do today.
When Mark Twain's The Innocents Abroad, published in 1869 contained:
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.
to describe the results of the first-ever pleasure cruise to Europe, I have to assume that pleasure travel was an exercise in narcissism since the very first.
Maybe this is the case in SF and NYC, but in most of the rural, suburban, and small-city United States, there aren't that many people who have traveled or lived outside of Europe or North America.
I was writing from my experience, which includes SF and NYC more than London (it's been well over a decade since I was in London).
His thesis was that travel has become a token of narcissism for Westerners ("idea has seeped into the West’s worldview"). He even describes a Canadian couple who he believes fits this description at the end.
My reply is that maybe that's the case in big cities, but that travel off the "beaten path" is relatively rare among most Westerners, at least in the US.
In part, I think today's emphasis on narcissism is just another way of saying that you need to pick your company carefully.
If you read that previous sentence carefully, there's a bit of a rhetorical edge to it.
Self-absorption is a major component of, if not every human condition, certainly of human society.
If you don't like where it's going, striking early is the best response. Don't let it take you there; don't lend it your power.
To the extent you can, don't put up with the narcissistic boss. Don't let narcissistic friends and acquaintances dictate the agenda. If they want/choose to break out of that shell and engage in what you are doing and interested in, fine. Maybe they'll learn something.
And then, when it's your turn, maybe the lesson will be a bit more gentle and strike a bit sooner, before you get too far down that path, yourself.
If anything, today's world seems to be teaching this lesson less and less effectively than perhaps it should.
In my recent tales of online dating I've run into this a lot - so much so I've made a point of mentioning in my OKC profile that while it's great to love traveling, this tells me nothing of your personality, pursuits or goals.
The vast majority of individuals highlight their love of travel, or where they're going to go next as if this is defining themselves in some way. While going to Paris and walking the streets for an extended weekend allows you to breathe different air, I fail to see this as something which defines a person. Volunteering your time locally speaks infinitely stronger to one's character than how much time and money they can spend outside of their 25 mile home radius.
To that end, I believe it's absolutely necessary for your soul to experience as much as you can.. but there's just as many adventures in your own backyard.
I absolutely agree. It's incredibly important to volunteer your time and make a difference where you life. Out of sheer curiosity, how much time have you spent doing this?
Sadly not as much as I'd like to as I've been unemployed for the last six months and am starting with my charity at home.
That said, I go to the LA river clean-ups the several times a year they occur, but have recently thought I could do something with teaching game design, or at least showing the processes that go into making games at a local youth center. Sadly, I don't know how to and/or have the time to fully explore that option at the moment.
Why? Hypothetically, would I not have a better impact if I used the same time to take up extra work and instead donated that money? I would imagine the price per hour to hire labor for, say, a food drive could easily be funded multiple times through the price per hour to hire a software developer. Would I not make even more an impact if I chose to donate to an organization that operates in low-income countries? And why would locally matter? Are people in need not people in need regardless of where they're located?
While travel is high on the list, that's my experience with the bulk of profiles I see. Our generation just doesn't want to say they're defined by actions, but rather things they buy, or how much leisure they can obtain.
> Volunteering your time locally speaks infinitely stronger to one's character than how much time and money they can spend outside of their 25 mile home radius.
There's a large number of people who see that as yet another exercise in narcissism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymcflrj_rRc . There's even a tumbler account that catalogs people on tinder who take selfies of volunteering. I've seen the claim go as far as saying it's simply a way to "validate privileged".
In the realm of dating, what's more interesting that just "traveling" is talking to someone about where they've been and what they found interesting, challenging, boring, etc. That'll tell you a little about their personality. It's a great conversation starter but I agree simply being able to afford and get on an airplane somewhere doesn't tell you anything about a human being.
Falls into the, some-of-the-most-boring-person's-I've-met-where-backpackers category. Had the same experience; especially in Berlin you'll find not a few of them.
Some quotes on that this is not just a recent development:
You don't have to travel around the world to understand that the sky is blue everywhere. Goethe
The photograph reverses the purpose of travel, which until now had been to encounter the strange and unfamiliar. Marshall McLuhan
>In my recent tales of online dating I've run into this a lot
The reason why Tinder won and OkCupid lost so horrifically (okcupid in my area has gone from an oasis to desert in less than a year...) is because people are literally unable to even conceptualize their own interests and desires in the world we find ourselves in.
That's why okcupid profils all say they love laughing, having a good time, traveling, and are easy-going and down-to-earth. We've produced a society of totally formless humans, able to take whatever cog-shape is presented to them, and live out a meek, subservient life punctuated by crappy pictures of the Eiffel Tower or maybe, if they're really adventurous, St. Peter's Basilica.
I think Tinder's success is a great example of this in the startup sense, because they noticed hey, if most people just look at pictures and ignore all this quiz-and-essay nonsense then why not just do that? It's a recognition that people don't have personalities, they'll just mold to fit whatever they're placed in front of.
I think the next Tinder, then, going by this trend, is a machine-learning driven service that just gives you one match a day, based on how attractive you both are given your photos and measurements. You can talk and exchange outside contact information if you want, and if not you can block them/wait for the next day.
> It's a recognition that people don't have personalities, they'll just mold to fit whatever they're placed in front of.
I've seen so many relationships end in disaster because of this. In the beginning of the relationship, one or both participants will pretend to be someone they're not, so they can please the other one. Later, they always revert to their normal behavior, and this usually ends the relationship.
I would say that they get bored, and where they were willing to put in effort (which all relationships require) at the beginning, they aren't now.
Which again, isn't surprising. Even people who get married and think they'll be together for the rest of their life get bored and leave about half the time.
I think that the trend is towards shorter, less emotional relationships, because nobody wants to get serious; everyone wants to have fun. Nothing that's not fun is worth doing.
Who knows, maybe the next Tinder will be more like Uber.
It sounds a bit like the author's forgotten what it's like not to travel at all. As an American, I wish my friends would venture outside our borders so that in the future when, inevitably, we will need to invade yet another country perhaps we will reconsider. I'll gladly take the risks of homogenization and narcissism to the risks of an insulated population that accepts the media's perspective of the world rather than their own firsthand (albeit limited) experience.
Maybe everyone here makes 6 figure salaries, but overseas travel is ridiculously expensive. I've found that it's mostly the people who can afford it who proclaim the benefits of travel.
I traveled all around South America for six months and spent maybe 10k total on the trip and I wasn't living frugally at all. I stayed in Airbnb's over hostels, ate good food often, and went on lots of paid excursions. I probably could have spent 5k total if I did the hostel thing, ate on the cheap, and didn't pay for any tourist activities.
My point is you can travel on the cheap if you put effort into it, especially in South America. Traveling in Europe? Sure, that's going to be just as expensive if not more than simply living day to day in the states. There are definitely places you can travel without making a six figure salary however.
The problem is not having a job when you return from South America. Most people can't simply expect to get a decent job in a reasonable amount of time.
Going to resorts and fancy hotels is expensive. Traveling is not. Most people I meet traveling including myself are spending way less money than they do at home.
You should absolutely travel. That's what life is for.
That doesn't grant you un-boring life right away, tho.
Not being able to actually interact with natives (that don't sell something to you) is a problem.
There are some solutions like couchsurfing, but it's not solved completely.
The key quote in the article is when the author describes his own job as a travel writer as "an over-inflated respect for the unique value of my own experience". I think that applies to all experiences these days, not just traveling. Especially with social media serving kind of as an "enabler" of this over-inflated respect.
Travelling has always been a romantic notion: "The Road to Oxiana", Steamships, "The Grand Tour". Its traditionally not been so accessible. Now that it is, you're more inclined to run into boring normal people (possibly like yourself)
I'd love to hear some of your guys' traveling stories off the beaten paths and what you have learned?
Me personally I learned more about my traveling companion honestly than the trip itself, more often than not that the relationship or friendship is doomed to fail and/or in retrospect how self-centered I was haha.
A good perspective. I never post where I traveled to (unless a friend somehow tags me and mentions the location we where at) on social networks even if I have photos, souvenirs and merchandise from the trips.
I tell people where I've been only if the ask me during a conversation. Going around babbling about "when I was in..." seems brash and boastful.
No matter what the author said, traveling opens up your eyes if you truly engage with the local culture.
You can say the same thing for the self proclaimed foodies who instagrams every meal while the others at the table politely wait for them to finish so they may eat together. By the time they get to it the food is fucking cold, and while they attempt to highlight the flavours they don't realize the moment has passed. The experience, in its entirety, has been destroyed.
The issue is not traveling, it's that our generation has made being a narcissist cool. We post a small sampling of our experiences on facebook, twitter, medium, and instagram. But, only the positive ones. We could never risk letting the people of the world know that we are average.
Social media has devalued our experiences and the validation/interest of our closest friends, and increased the value of validation and interest of total strangers.
Your value is the not the sum total of likes, retweets, karma, and <3's on instagram. I would go so far to say that your perceived value by those who matter is inversely correlated to your likes, retweets, karma and <3's
/end rant
Oh the irony that I unloaded all this here, on social media...
I am surprised the author makes no mention of the 'click-happy' tourist. This traveller only wants to take pictures and such kinds are _everywhere_. Like go to the grand canyon. Instead of standing and experiencing the awe inspiring nature's work, people are taking pictures. All. the. time. In fact, I guarantee you that it's hard to find a person not taking pictures and not carrying a camera.
Travel has always struck me as being a positional good more about telling other people about your amazing life (previously using slide shows and social event conversations, now with pintwitfacetagram) than about actually enjoying the experience, which is typically uncomfortable, wasteful, filled with boredom, preposterously expensive and over far to quickly to develop any deep appreciation for your destination.
"Henry Wismayer is an award-winning freelance journalist based in London. He writes travel features for over 50 publications, including the New York Times, Guardian, Washington Post and TIME Magazine"
So professional self promotion is acceptable but social self promotion is not ? I don't know but his article feels like a weird rant. I don't know how to describe it but its like he is saying.."Don't drink wine if you don't understand its taste , texture, history etc". Don't tell people how to travel its just wrong.
I'd rather live someplace for an extended period of time than "travel". When you're in some place for a day, you can write paragraphs about your actions. When you're in a place for a week, you write fewer paragraphs about the memorable experiences. When you're in a place for a year, you write nothing at all, but you learn to think and live differently.
It's a hell of a lot harder than jetting away for a weekend though.
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[ 5.3 ms ] story [ 217 ms ] threadWe're all one of the crowd, like the author says. Technology has made it very easy to forget that.
But some narcissism is healthy; the problem is more when it's allowed to run rampant or become the sole purpose behind some behavior. It's the difference between posting because you have something to say, hoping people might agree, and posting because you need people to agree with you.
It's roughly like... The "nice guy syndrome", where a person is engaged with what others expect from him so much that he undermines what he personally wants. In online forum terms this might mean that you're commenting in favor of the popular opinion of the forum and not voicing your own opinion to see whether it has flaws or not. Naturally, this is one of the many reasons why a community becomes an "echo chamber".
When the author argues that "Instead of taking time to absorb and consider, many people seem more inclined to travel quickly, tick off the ‘don’t miss’ highlights and form broad-brush assumptions based on the bare minimum of immersion" he's miles off. People have been targeting the 'sights' since the notion of overseas travel as a source of pleasure began aeons ago. If anything, the web actually encourages immersion, because the "sights" themselves can be enjoyed from all conceivable angles in the comfort of ones own bedroom.
What's changed is that when travellers and tourists do visit the "highlights" - often called that for good reason - they'll inevitably feel the need to share selfies with their entire social network afterwards.
The same goes for the photos shared as a permanent record of their night out at the bar down the road in Clapham rather than Tanzania, or the people who actually do go to Eastbourne and feel the need to check-in to show they've been to the actual pier. Or people sharing their pithy observations on the football, or approval of the latest Upworthy video.
Actually, the most narcissistic act of all has got to be blogging, because I'm sure there's a time that travel journalists spent their time in between the tough grind of churning out freelance travel articles exploring the world around them rather than eloquently excoriating their usual audience on medium.com to broadcast how much more worldly they are than all the other holidaying proles.
It comes as no surprise that people do things that they see other people doing, which I don't think has changed much as time goes on. So, people travel, they talk about it, more people "hear" it, and more people travel as a result.
But that's only my opinion and not a matter of objective knowledge.
Old men have always bemoaned the narcissism of young people. It isn't "kids these days," it's just "kids."
Maybe it's a cliche at this point to bring this up, but
“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
is attributed to Socrates.
I've enjoyed the Language Log's "narcissism skepticism" over the years. Maybe someone else will too:
http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/index.php?s=narcissism
Technology has made it possible to bore, amuse, or irritate a global audience rather than a neighborhood one.
I have travelled some in my life. Not extensively, but enough to have a few stories of my own. My guidelines around traveling are:
1) Be humble. Related: be prepared to apologize if you do something unintentionally rude. I had to do this frequently in Asia because me, being American, was not used to taking off my shoes whenever I entered a home or restaurant. I quickly learned, but there were times at the beginning where I forgot. Apologies helped. Exception: Australia.
2) Be reserved. If someone is interested in you or your country they will ask. If not, don't bore them with something they may or may not care about. Exception: Ireland.
3) Do not portray competitiveness. This can easily come across as arrogant and provincial. Exception: Ireland.
4) Be inquisitive. Ask questions about the country you are visiting, and be genuine about it, not judgmental. Exception: North Korea.
5) When you return home, tell your tales to interested friends or coworkers, but be aware that not everyone will care. Exception: Finland.
People who say this seem to be the same kind of person who would ultimately ascribe most human behavior to being about simian behavior. Which makes using that fact as an excuse (or, forgiveness) seem like a weak proposal, since it would effectively excuse most human behavior.
A tourist can turn the world into Disneyland if they wish, but that's their own damn fault.
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.
to describe the results of the first-ever pleasure cruise to Europe, I have to assume that pleasure travel was an exercise in narcissism since the very first.
His thesis was that travel has become a token of narcissism for Westerners ("idea has seeped into the West’s worldview"). He even describes a Canadian couple who he believes fits this description at the end.
My reply is that maybe that's the case in big cities, but that travel off the "beaten path" is relatively rare among most Westerners, at least in the US.
If you read that previous sentence carefully, there's a bit of a rhetorical edge to it.
Self-absorption is a major component of, if not every human condition, certainly of human society.
If you don't like where it's going, striking early is the best response. Don't let it take you there; don't lend it your power.
To the extent you can, don't put up with the narcissistic boss. Don't let narcissistic friends and acquaintances dictate the agenda. If they want/choose to break out of that shell and engage in what you are doing and interested in, fine. Maybe they'll learn something.
And then, when it's your turn, maybe the lesson will be a bit more gentle and strike a bit sooner, before you get too far down that path, yourself.
If anything, today's world seems to be teaching this lesson less and less effectively than perhaps it should.
The vast majority of individuals highlight their love of travel, or where they're going to go next as if this is defining themselves in some way. While going to Paris and walking the streets for an extended weekend allows you to breathe different air, I fail to see this as something which defines a person. Volunteering your time locally speaks infinitely stronger to one's character than how much time and money they can spend outside of their 25 mile home radius.
To that end, I believe it's absolutely necessary for your soul to experience as much as you can.. but there's just as many adventures in your own backyard.
That said, I go to the LA river clean-ups the several times a year they occur, but have recently thought I could do something with teaching game design, or at least showing the processes that go into making games at a local youth center. Sadly, I don't know how to and/or have the time to fully explore that option at the moment.
> Volunteering your time locally speaks infinitely stronger to one's character than how much time and money they can spend outside of their 25 mile home radius.
There's a large number of people who see that as yet another exercise in narcissism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymcflrj_rRc . There's even a tumbler account that catalogs people on tinder who take selfies of volunteering. I've seen the claim go as far as saying it's simply a way to "validate privileged".
Some quotes on that this is not just a recent development:
You don't have to travel around the world to understand that the sky is blue everywhere. Goethe
The photograph reverses the purpose of travel, which until now had been to encounter the strange and unfamiliar. Marshall McLuhan
The reason why Tinder won and OkCupid lost so horrifically (okcupid in my area has gone from an oasis to desert in less than a year...) is because people are literally unable to even conceptualize their own interests and desires in the world we find ourselves in.
That's why okcupid profils all say they love laughing, having a good time, traveling, and are easy-going and down-to-earth. We've produced a society of totally formless humans, able to take whatever cog-shape is presented to them, and live out a meek, subservient life punctuated by crappy pictures of the Eiffel Tower or maybe, if they're really adventurous, St. Peter's Basilica.
I think Tinder's success is a great example of this in the startup sense, because they noticed hey, if most people just look at pictures and ignore all this quiz-and-essay nonsense then why not just do that? It's a recognition that people don't have personalities, they'll just mold to fit whatever they're placed in front of.
I think the next Tinder, then, going by this trend, is a machine-learning driven service that just gives you one match a day, based on how attractive you both are given your photos and measurements. You can talk and exchange outside contact information if you want, and if not you can block them/wait for the next day.
I've seen so many relationships end in disaster because of this. In the beginning of the relationship, one or both participants will pretend to be someone they're not, so they can please the other one. Later, they always revert to their normal behavior, and this usually ends the relationship.
Which again, isn't surprising. Even people who get married and think they'll be together for the rest of their life get bored and leave about half the time.
I think that the trend is towards shorter, less emotional relationships, because nobody wants to get serious; everyone wants to have fun. Nothing that's not fun is worth doing.
Who knows, maybe the next Tinder will be more like Uber.
My point is you can travel on the cheap if you put effort into it, especially in South America. Traveling in Europe? Sure, that's going to be just as expensive if not more than simply living day to day in the states. There are definitely places you can travel without making a six figure salary however.
That doesn't grant you un-boring life right away, tho.
Not being able to actually interact with natives (that don't sell something to you) is a problem. There are some solutions like couchsurfing, but it's not solved completely.
Me personally I learned more about my traveling companion honestly than the trip itself, more often than not that the relationship or friendship is doomed to fail and/or in retrospect how self-centered I was haha.
Those that travel and don't tell anyone, but rather just enjoy the experience -- are they narcissists?
I tell people where I've been only if the ask me during a conversation. Going around babbling about "when I was in..." seems brash and boastful.
No matter what the author said, traveling opens up your eyes if you truly engage with the local culture.
The issue is not traveling, it's that our generation has made being a narcissist cool. We post a small sampling of our experiences on facebook, twitter, medium, and instagram. But, only the positive ones. We could never risk letting the people of the world know that we are average.
Social media has devalued our experiences and the validation/interest of our closest friends, and increased the value of validation and interest of total strangers.
Your value is the not the sum total of likes, retweets, karma, and <3's on instagram. I would go so far to say that your perceived value by those who matter is inversely correlated to your likes, retweets, karma and <3's
/end rant
Oh the irony that I unloaded all this here, on social media...
You and I have had vastly different travel experiences.
Sounds pretty narcissistic to me.
It's a hell of a lot harder than jetting away for a weekend though.